Conquering Fear
August 23, 1986
Amanda stood in front of the Ferris wheel wringing her hands together. A cold knot formed in her stomach as she watched it go round and round. For the past six months she’d been keeping a secret.
Lee placed his hand at the small of her back and guided her to a bench. “Okay, what’s wrong?”
“Nothing’s wrong. I’ve had a great time at the fair today. I loved the arts and crafts pavilion, the live music, the dancing, sampling different items in the food pavilion, tasting the wines in the wine garden, watching the live stock show and the children in the petting zoo, playing the games on the midway, and I know you loved the car show. In fact, I thought that salesman had sold you on buying a new ’Vette.” She couldn’t help herself, she knew she’d rambled.
“He almost did.” Lee laughed. He took her hands in his. “I know something is worrying you though. You’re as pale as a ghost. Tell me, I can help figure out a solution.”
Amanda let out a long sigh, she needed to talk to someone and Lee was the only one she felt comfortable telling. “I’m afraid of heights.” There she’d said it. She’d admitted her fear.
A perplexed look came over Lee’s face. “You’ve never mentioned having acrophobia before. You even jumped off a cliff into a lake when we were in Germany without batting an eye.”
“I wasn’t afraid then.” She stared at the ground.
“Why now? Look at me.” He placed his hand gently under her chin, tipping her head up until she met his gaze. “What brought this on?”
Butterflies fluttered in her stomach. She could trace the problem back to one incident. “You remember when Karen Brinkman impersonated me?”
His jaw clenched as he recalled the case.
“When…”
“When I was dangling over the edge of the building. I thought I was going to die. Plummet off the ledge and smash onto the ground. Before you say anything.” She put a finger to his lips and then dropped her hand to clasp his. “I know you pulled me to safety. But since that day, I’ve had this uneasiness come over me whenever I’m in a high place. I didn’t even realize I had an issue with it, not until six months ago. I’d gone hiking with the Junior Trailblazers and we came to a beautiful lookout point. When I stepped near the railing I froze. My heart beat fast, my hands sweated. I stepped away and all those crazy feelings disappeared. I tried again and again to go near the edge but I just couldn’t. Now, I don’t have any trouble flying, or looking out the window of a tall building because I’m enclosed, I feel safe. I can’t fall. It’s just that being up there.” She pointed to the Ferris wheel. “There’s nothing between me and the ground, except a little bar that holds us into the car.” She gazed at their interlinked fingers.
“A couple of months ago we jumped off that hotel balcony into the pool. You didn’t seem frightened then.”
“It happened so quickly. Besides, we were on a case; it was a matter of being caught or jumping. The fear didn’t have time to take hold.”
Lee cupped her face in his hands, his thumb caressing her cheek. “I’ll never, ever, let anything bad happen to you. You trust me, right?”
Amanda looked deep into his eyes. This man cared for her. It had taken them a long time to build up to this aspect of their relationship. All summer they’d been getting to know each other on a personal level, one outside of work and the world of intrigue. “With all my heart.” She trusted no one more than him.
He kissed her gently on the lips, stood up and held his hand out to her. “Shall we conquer this fear? Together?”
Amanda placed her hand in his and felt the strength in his touch. With him by her side she could overcome anything.
The line for the ride wasn’t long. Lee handed the operator two tickets and they were seated in a car, then a bar was pushed toward their laps. Amanda grabbed it with a white knuckled grip. Lee wrapped his arm around her shoulders and pulled her close to his side offering her comfort.
As the ride stopped and started to allow passengers on and off, the car they were in rocked slightly. She closed her eyes and leaned her head against Lee’s chest listening to his heartbeat.
“I’ve got you.” He squeezed her shoulder and kissed the top of her head. “Open your eyes. We’re at the top.”
Amanda peeked through her eyelashes, and then did as Lee asked. “Oh my gosh!” She gazed towards the horizon. “It’s beautiful.” The sun had begun to set and the sky looked like a painting of a melted rainbow. A slight breeze brushed her neck as she turned to him and smiled.
“No, you’re beautiful,” he said in a husky voice as he touched her knee lightly. “Now look down.”
The fairgrounds spread out before her in majestic wonder. She could see all the buildings they’d visited. The carousel music filtered through the noise from the carnival games, and the sound reached them of children squealing children in delight as they won prizes. In the distance, the parking lot looked like it held hundreds of toy cars. A sense of calm filled her as the butterflies that had been fluttering flew away.
With Lee’s help she’d conquered her demon. As the Ferris wheel began to go round and round, she found herself laughing like a child on the ride for the very first time.
Once again they were stopped at the very top. “Thank you.” Her hand caressed his cheek.
He took her into his arms and kissed her passionately. Nothing could break their embrace, not even when their car jerked as the operator stopped and started the wheel to let passengers on and off.
She wanted to tell him she loved him. But their relationship wasn’t yet at the stage where it could accept those three little words. Neither was Lee ready to say or hear them. Deep in her heart she knew one day soon he would be. Once before she’d told him, ‘when you’re talking about love, you have to be patient.’ She could wait.
“Okay, you two love birds. Time to get off,” the operator said.
Their kiss broken, Amanda ducked her head toward Lee’s shoulder hiding her face with her hand. She could feel the heat flushing her cheeks as they’d been caught making out like two teenagers.
“One more time, buddy.” Lee reached into his jacket and pulled out his wallet. “I think this will allow us to stay on a while longer.” He handed him ten dollars.
“What can I say? I’m a sucker for love.” The operator smiled, pocketed the money and set the Ferris wheel in motion.
The End
Story Notes:
Disclaimer: Scarecrow and Mrs. King and its characters belong to WB and Shoot the Moon Productions. No infringement is intended. This is written for entertainment purposes only. Please do not redistribute or reproduce this story without my permission.
Thanks: Jan for finding all my errors. You rock!
Thanks: Jan for finding all my errors. You rock!