The midnight shift went on their break and I knew as soon as the last
person exited the mugs would be clamoring for more stories. I almost
wished I hadn't begun to tell them tales of my life in my other home.
I guess I shouldn't mind though, they told me all about the
adventures in the Bullpen that they'd seen before I'd been moved
here. Tit for tat.
I'm glad I wasn't just thrown out into the trash, too old to be of
any use. That had almost been my fate. When the brunette had
brought in the new coffee maker I'd cringed, shivered and begun to
leak tears. I'd been replaced. The man had said because the one in
a place called the Bullpen had gone on the fritz, that he'd bring me
there. I still had life left in me and coffee makers like me weren't
made anymore. Now, I reside in the Bullpen, a center of activity in
the world of espionage. To top it off I still get to see my old
owner.
My old owner. Those were the stories the mugs wanted to hear about.
His life. His exploits. I had to explain that I didn't get to see a
lot living in the kitchen. But sometimes I'd get an eyeful.
Every weekend a different woman would enter and turn me on. The man
liked a lot of variety. I swear some of those women weren't very
gifted in the brains department. Who needed brains when they had
bodies like that? Once in a while, I'd be treated to a show of
erotic delight. In fact, a few times I feared I'd be pushed off the
counter or into the sink.
There was one brunette though who seemed to be around more than the
others. I began to see her more and more often. She liked to
complain about items left in the fridge. Fridge didn't like that and
tried to tell her he had no control over what the man put inside
him. That if the man wanted to grow moldy things it wasn't up to him
to say no.
The man called her Amanda and she called him Lee or Scarecrow. He
didn't care to have her around much, but he didn't try to stop her
either. She always made sure the kitchen was sparkling. I have to
admit, it did look and smell better after she'd leave. She liked to
spray something called air freshener. I'm partial to vanilla I found
out.
Another brunette was the one who'd replaced me. I didn't like her,
but she reminded me of the nice Amanda. I was never so happy to find
out after my move that Amanda seemed to be spending more and more
time with Lee. They were always together it seemed and I saw them
give each other looks when they thought the other wasn't watching.
"They're gone," the pink mug said. "Now tell us about the other
brunette. The bad one."
Well, I guess I'm going to tell the story about how Lee accidentally
called this Leslie person by Amanda's name and how I heard her storm
out of the apartment. She slammed the door so hard I could feel the
vibrations in the countertop.
"Okay everyone gather round. One day Leslie wanted to surprise Lee
with a dinner . . .
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