Mistletoe Madness
Saturday – December 20, l986
Christmas. Lee threaded his way along the crowded street, his hands stuffed into his pockets to ward off the chill of the blustery day. Why all this fuss for just another day of the week? Due to all the holiday traffic and shoppers, he had been forced to park at a garage two blocks away from his destination. He couldn’t wait for the holidays to be over. At least then he would be able to find a decent parking space when he needed it.
On almost every corner, a Santa Claus stood next to a black kettle, ringing a bell and yelling, “Merry Christmas . . . Ho, ho, ho!”
As he continued his journey, he stepped around mothers pushing babies in strollers and holding the hands of their toddlers. If his hair stylist hadn’t had a sudden cancellation, he wouldn’t even be in this part of Georgetown. Originally, he’d had an appointment scheduled for Monday morning, but Marielle had called earlier in the morning, informing him that she would be available at one-thirty this afternoon. And when opportunity knocked, it had to be answered.
At present, he wasn’t working on a case, but given his previous experience in the intelligence community, and with the luck they’d had in the past, he didn’t expect it to be a quiet holiday. In his line of work, everything was unpredictable. Marielle was also a part of his “family,” one of his informants, and he could use the appointment to see if she had any information of value.
At last, he reached his destination and stepped inside. Once the door closed behind him, the outside noises stopped, but then he heard the sounds of Christmas carols playing on a radio. “When am I gonna get a break?” he mumbled, shaking his head as he strode up to the receptionist’s desk.
An hour later, Lee pulled open the door of Marielle’s and joined a cheery throng of people passing by the shop. They almost made him reverse direction, but the memory of those Christmas carols stopped him. The music-induced headache that was beginning to throb in his temples was reason enough not to go back inside. He took a deep breath, ran a hand through his newly coifed hair, and stepped into the world of holiday shoppers.
The parking garage was within his sight, when a hand holding a piece of greenery obscured his vision.
“Mister, buy some mistletoe? Real cheap!” the vendor hawked.
“No, thanks.” He tried to walk around the man.
The street peddler, apparently not wanting to lose a sale, stepped in front of Lee, halting him. “Come on, mister, the women love it. You’ll get lots of kisses. I guarantee.” He held the sprig in the air, puckering his lips in imitation of a kiss, and then licking them.
Lee stood motionless for a second, thinking it over. Amanda had been trying to get him in a holiday mood for days. She had even decorated their office with a little Christmas tree, garland, and other holiday trimmings. When she had volunteered to transform his apartment into the spirit of Christmas, he’d unequivocally declined. He knew she’d been disappointed in his lack of a festive mood, but he also knew she understood that the holidays were not his favorite time of year.
As the vendor continued to hold the mistletoe in the air, an idea dawned on him. He might not be in the mood to celebrate Christmas, but he was always in the mood for kissing. Any excuse to kiss his fiancée, in his mind, was an excellent idea.
He reached his left hand into his suit coat and pulled out his billfold. “Sold, but I don’t want just one. I want a dozen.”
The vendor grinned broadly as he packaged the mistletoe into a brown paper bag and exchanged it for Lee’s money, while rattling on about how Lee would be certain to receive lots of kisses from the ladies.
Lee smirked and nodded in agreement to every promise the man made. He really wanted to tell him that only one woman’s kisses interested him, but it was best to keep quiet, so the transaction could be completed quickly.
The vendor winked at him. “I know you’re going to have a fun holiday.”
“Yeah, Merry Christmas.” Lee turned toward the parking garage.
He took a few steps and heard, “Merry Christmas! Buy my mistletoe, cheap, get lots of kisses from the ladies,” as the peddler tried to make another sale. Lee rolled his eyes at the vendor’s new strategy for selling mistletoe.
********
Parking the Corvette in front of his apartment building, Lee turned off the engine and pulled the keys from the ignition. As he grabbed the bag from the passenger seat, he paused for a second. ‘Why not?’ He opened the parcel and took out a sprig of mistletoe. His eyes scanned the interior, looking for the appropriate spot to hang the greenery. He saw none, except for the rear view mirror.
Using a piece of ribbon attached to the top of the sprig, he tied the mistletoe to the mirror, hoping Amanda wouldn’t spot it when he picked her up for their dinner date later in the evening. Then he stashed another piece in the glove compartment to bring to work on Monday morning. Why hadn’t Amanda put any up in the Q-Bureau? He’d have to ask her, after he found an appropriate spot to hang it.
Upon entering his apartment, he placed the bag on the entry table. He removed his coat and hung it on the coat tree, then opened the closet door. On the shelf, he kept a small, fully stocked toolbox. He pulled it out and set it next to the bag. Remembering Amanda’s reaction when she found out he owned such things, he chuckled. She couldn’t believe Lee Stetson owned a hammer or any other kind of tool. He had explained that just because he preferred hiring professionals to do major repairs, it didn’t mean he didn’t own his own tools, or that he wasn’t perfectly capable of handling small jobs. Besides, he’d told her, it would be a waste of time and money to call someone just to hang a picture on the wall.
Not wanting to put any large, noticeable holes in the doorframes, he sorted through the boxes of nails, picking out the smallest ones he could find. First, he planned to hang a sprig of mistletoe over the front door. Carefully, he selected a spot, then hammered the nail in place, so that when he removed it, the nick in the wood wouldn’t be seen. He grabbed the bag of mistletoe, along with the hammer and nails, and hung the rest of the greenery.
He decorated every doorway in the apartment: the dining room, kitchen, bedroom, bathroom, and hallway. Redoubling his efforts, he returned to the kitchen and tied another piece of mistletoe to the light fixture, and then revisited the bathroom, where he hung the foliage on the showerhead. With two sprigs left, he was running out of places to hang them. Then it dawned on him.
Wasting no time, he walked into the living room and knelt next to the couch, debating whether to place the sprig under the seat cushion or the couch itself. Deciding against the cushion, because the plant would get crushed under the weight of their bodies, he slid a sprig under the couch, where it was hidden from view but within easy reach. He pictured the two of them sitting on the couch, watching television, or just relaxing. Then he would casually lower his hand, pick up the mistletoe, and lift it over her head. He sat down, the final piece of greenery in the palm of his hand.
“Where?” he asked the empty room. In his mind, a light bulb flashed over his head in cartoon fashion, and he slapped his knee. “Perfect.” He walked into the bedroom and sat on the edge of the bed. After hiding the remaining piece in the drawer of the nightstand, he lay back and placed his hands behind his head, grinning as he contemplated kissing Amanda under each and every piece of mistletoe.
*******
Lee escorted Amanda to the Corvette, his hand on the small of her back, guiding her. He opened the passenger door, hoping she wouldn’t notice the little plant hanging from the rear view mirror. After she was seated, he walked around the car and quickly settled into the driver’s seat. Glancing over, he saw her fasten her seat belt and straighten her skirt. He let out a long breath, relieved that she wasn’t on to his little game. Yet.
“Where are we going for dinner?” Amanda turned slightly in her seat to face him. “You never told me the name of the restaurant.”
“I made reservations at Tosca. But first, I have a surprise for you. Close your eyes.” Smiling, he watched as she closed them partway. “You’re peeking.”
“No, I’m not.”
“Yes, you are. I can see they’re not completely shut.”
She let out a sigh. “How can you tell? It’s dark.”
Lee placed his right hand on her cheek, caressing it with his thumb. “The streetlight is just bright enough that I can see you.”
Opening her eyes wide, Amanda laughed. “You caught me.”
“Now, close your eyes. Please?”
She looked deep into his eyes, then dutifully closed hers tightly. “Okay, I’m ready; where’s my surprise?”
He stroked her cheek, while his left hand released the mistletoe from its perch and then positioned it just above her eye level, so she barely needed to glance up. “Open your eyes.”
Amanda slowly followed his command and looked at him in the semi-darkness of the Corvette. “Where’s my surprise?”
“Look up.” He motioned with his eyes.
She peered upward. “Lee, you bought mistle . . .” was all she was able to say before his lips claimed hers in a passionate kiss.
********
Later that evening, they returned to Lee’s apartment for dessert. He unlocked the door and pushed it open, allowing Amanda to precede him inside. Once he’d closed the door behind him, he helped her off with her coat and draped it on an arm of the coat tree. As he hung his coat next to hers, she grabbed him by the arm, pulled him to her, and pressed her lips to his in a fiery kiss.
When their lips parted, he asked, “What was that for?”
“The mistletoe.” She pointed up at the sprig he had hung earlier in the day.
His lips spread in a huge grin. “I bought some from a street vendor earlier today, after I got my hair cut. The man was persuasive and wouldn’t take no for an answer. It gives me an excuse to kiss you as often as I want for a while.” He slipped his hands around her waist.
“Some? Just how many pieces did you buy?” she asked, sliding her arms around his neck.
“Umm . . . a dozen.” He cast his eyes down, giving her a devilish smile. When Amanda was silent for a moment, he worried that, in his enthusiasm, he’d gone overboard. Then she giggled, and he knew everything would be all right.
“A dozen? Where did you hang a dozen?”
“That, my love, is my secret. You’ll have to find them.” Lee smirked as he looked into her eyes, then kissed her gently on the lips.
“I’ve found two so far. The one in the car and this one.” She nodded toward the greenery. “I think we’re going to have some fun finding the others. We’ll have to keep this tradition for future Christmases.”
“What tradition?” he asked, perplexed.
“Mistletoe madness! We’ll hang it everywhere and anywhere.”
Lee laughed and grabbed her hand. “Let’s go find some mistletoe.” He led her into the living room to begin their journey of discovery.
The End
Story Notes:
Disclaimer: Scarecrow and Mrs. King and its characters belong to WB and Shoot the Moon Productions. No infringement is intended. This is written for entertainment purposes only. Please do not redistribute or reproduce this story without my permission.
Thanks: Lynda and LeeZa, all your help is greatly appreciated. And thanks to Rita and Miss Edna, you make my stories readable by catching all my grammar and other errors.
Takes place before the episode “Santa’s Got a Brand New Bag.”
Thanks: Lynda and LeeZa, all your help is greatly appreciated. And thanks to Rita and Miss Edna, you make my stories readable by catching all my grammar and other errors.
Takes place before the episode “Santa’s Got a Brand New Bag.”