April 1975

         Amanda stretched out her aching back as she put the paint roller back in the pan. The new nursery was almost done. She sat down in her grandmother’s old rocking chair for a moment to rest. Her mother had Phillip for the day so that she could paint the new baby’s room. All the windows were open so that the fumes wouldn’t overwhelm her. She remembered her mother’s pointed comments about Joe not painting the room instead of her. Sometimes her mother just didn’t understand that Joe didn’t have a lot of extra time, he was studying for the bar exam and finishing his classes. It would get better once he was done. There were only two months left until he finished.

Another baby was on the way. At least this time when she got pregnant she knew almost immediately by her symptoms. She was thrilled. Phillip would be getting a baby brother or sister. He was as excited as a two year old could be. He kept asking where the baby was and why couldn’t he see it. Her mother was excited as well. She was going to have another grandchild to fuss over.

She sighed and felt a pall break through her contentment when she thought about Joe’s initial reaction to her news. Thrilled would not have been the word she would have used. Appalled was more like it. The argument would remain forever in her mind.

Joe’s face had turned red. “What do you mean you’re pregnant again? We’re using birth control.”

The smile on her face waivered. “Birth control isn’t one hundred percent effective, Joe.”

“Now you tell me.” Joe began to pace their bedroom. “We can’t have another, baby. Where is it going to sleep? I’m still in school. How can we afford it?”

Amanda sat on the bed and tried to remain calm. “It’s a little late to say we can’t have a baby, Joe. He or she is on the way.”

“When are you due?”

“Dr. Gracien said mid to late November.”  She watched him pulling on clothes. “Where are you going?”

He stopped at the door and looked over his shoulder.  “I’m going out. I need to think.”

Joe was gone for several hours. Amanda stayed in bed to LICK her wounds. She cried for the child her husband didn’t want. Maybe he would come around. He was under so much stress. Graduation was just around the corner.

When Joe came home, he held out his arms to her and she went to him. “I’m sorry you’re upset, but I’m not sorry I’m having your baby.” She whispered to him as he patted her on the back.

He sat down and pulled her into his lap. “I’m sorry, Sweetheart, it was just so unexpected. I never thought we would have another child so fast.”

Burrowing closer to him, she said. “I didn’t expect either. We’ll be fine. You’ll see. You’ll love this baby as much as Phillip.”

Joe held her closer. “I already do.”

Joe had a surprise for her the next day. He took her to a neighborhood in Arlington to show her a house. It was lovely. A white Cape Cod with a back yard and a picket fence in the front nestled in with trees and flowers in a nice neighborhood. A For Sale sign stood out in the front yard.

Wrapping an arm around her waist, he brought her close and said. “I really am sorry for last night. While I was driving, I saw this house and thought that it would be perfect for a growing family.”

Amanda turned and gave him a huge hug. She knew everything would be alright. “I think you’re right, it is perfect.”

They moved into the house six weeks later. Amanda had turned the house into a home. Painting rooms, sewing curtains and decorating rooms took up her time. Thank goodness her mother helped with Phillip and the decorating. They had put a down payment on the house using some the money Joe’s parents left him. She wanted to make sure that the money was well and thoughtfully spent. She made careful choices with everything. Her house would be a cheerful place for her children to grow and a warm and welcoming home for her husband.

Amanda moved from the nursery into their bedroom. Picking up her rings off of the dresser she slipped them back on. The ring her father gave her glittered back at her. Her father always wanted her never to forget who she was. And she never did. She was Joe’s wife and Phillip’s and the new baby’s mommy. Looking at the ring, she hoped that her father was still proud of her.

Joe promised to be home early tonight. With Phillip at her mother’s house, she thought that she and Joe could christen the house properly. He had been withdrawn slightly from her for the past month as his work load and class load increased. She never complained about his schedule but he said his class was cancelled for the evening and he would be home with her.

She decided to make his favorite dinner for him. The chicken was roasting, the potatoes were ready to go into the oven and the asparagus was ready to be steamed. All that was left to do was to get herself ready. She started the water in the tub and added some of her favorite bubble bath. She took a leisurely bath making sure she shaved her legs. After toweling dry, she put Joe’s favorite lotion on and got dressed in a light dress.

Everything was set to be ready at 6:30. That would give them time to be together. They needed some time to be a couple. Poor Joe had been working so hard, she knew he needed time to decompress before his exams and the bar.

When the phone rang she ran to the kitchen to answer it.

“Hello?” She said.

“Hi, Sweetheart.” She smiled when she heard his voice. An overwhelming wave of love overtook her for a moment.

“Hi. Are you on your way home?”

“Uh, not yet. Would you mind if I got home later than I originally planned?”

“Oh Joe, why?” Amanda tried to keep the disappointment out of her voice. He didn’t need to hear it.

“Josh and Mike want to use class time to study for the bar exam. We’re a little weak on Real Estate Law.”

“How late are you going to be?”

“Ten or so. No later than eleven, I promise.”

She thought about the special dinner she had planned and put aside what she wanted. “Okay. I’ll see you then.”

“Are you going to still be up?”

Amanda hesitated. “I don’t know. I’m pretty tired. I got the baby’s room painted today.”

She heard the excitement in his voice. “That’s great. I’ll see you later.”

“Okay. I love you, Joe.”

“I love you too. Bye.”

She hung up the phone and stared at it for a few minutes. Tears began to well up in her eyes as loneliness coursed through her. ‘Darned hormones’ she thought as she picked up the phone again to call her mother.

“Hi Mother. Do you want me to come and pick up Phillip?”

Her mother’s voice sharpened.  “Why? What happened to your dinner with Joe?”

She took a deep breath that had a slight hitch to it. ‘He had to say at Georgetown to study for the bar. He’ll be home later.” An idea struck her. “Would you like to have dinner with me?”

“I would love to, Darling.”

“I’ll pick you up in 10 minutes.”

She went up to change into a pair of jeans which still fit and a t-shirt. As she left the house to pick up her mother and son, she reminded herself that it would get better. School was almost over.