Garden Angel
Part I
It was after midnight and Lee Stetson was sound asleep in his bed. Slowly she crept into his room and stood over him watching him sleep. She loved watching him sleep because he looked so peaceful and angelic. His long lashes were lying softly against his cheeks and his hair was tousled about his head. His arm was haphazardly thrown over the side of the bed. Gently, she took his arm and placed it on his chest. She pulled the covers up toward his chin and lovingly reached forward to lightly brush back the hair that had fallen onto his face. She smiled down at him and leaned in to place a feather light kiss on his forward. "Sleep well, my dear," she said as she stood to leave his room.
She stood before the dresser brushing her hair when she found herself surrounded by two strong arms. Smiling, she leaned back into the firm chest of her husband. Her head rested gently on his shoulder and her hands began stroking his forearms.
"I'm sorry, darling, did I wake you?"
"Not at all. Hmmm, I love you Mrs. Stetson," he said as he began nuzzling her neck.
Leaning her head to the side to give him better access, she replied, "and I love you, Mr. Stetson. I thought I'd just let you sleep. After all, you have been on assignment for the past thirty-six hours. You need to get some rest. Now, are you ready to get back to bed?"
"Most definitely!" was his quick answer. "I take it our little one is sound asleep."
"Well, yes, he is, for now. I only hope he remains so. Since you have been gone, he's been having nightmares for the past three nights now. I honestly don't know what to do. He is so terrified when he awakes up. Matthew, do you have any suggestions?"
"Do you have any idea what the nightmares are about? Does he talk to you about them?"
"Only to say that there are monsters after him. I don't have a clue as to what's causing them."
"Well, let's you and I try to get some sleep. If he wakes up tonight, I'll go to him. Maybe it because he's scared about starting kindergarten next month or maybe he's just upset because I've been gone for the past few days. I'll talk to him tomorrow and we'll see if that helps.
The Stetson household was again awakened by the terrified screams of a very frightened five-year-old Lee. As promised, Matthew arose and went to comfort his son.
"Hey sport, you okay?" he asked gently as he picked up his son and wrapped his strong arms around his small, but shaking body. Matthew spoke gently to his son as he tried to reassure him that there were no monsters in the room. After a while, Lee began to calm down. Only an occasional hic-up escaped from his lips as he bravely tried to control his fear in front of his father. Small fists rubbed his tear-laden eyes.
"Why are they after me? Why do they come into my room? I didn't do anything to them."
"Lee, it's okay, there's no one here but Mommy and me. You know we wouldn't let anything happen to you, right? We love you so very much." Again he wrapped the small boy in a bear hug.
For a moment Lee settled against his father's strong, yet comforting chest. Trying to work through this problem in his mind, Lee pushed against his father's hold to move back so he could look his father in the eye. "But Daddy, what if you aren't here? Something could happen then," he simply stated.
"Then Mommy will protect you," answered Jennifer who had been standing by the door listening to this exchange.
Lee climbed down off of his father's lap and ran to his mother's outstretched arms. Gathering her son in her arms, she sat down on the bed and began stroking his hair.
With a five-year old's determination, he thought for a moment and then asked, "But what if you're both gone? Who will protect me then?"
Thinking quickly for a solution that might assuage her son's fears, Jennifer replied, "Well, then, your Guardian Angel will be with you." Saying this, she looked toward Matthew for reassurance. He nodded indicating that she should continue.
"My Garden Angel - what's that?" asked Lee no longer seeming to be frightened but more curious.
"Your Guardian not Garden Angel - she is with you all the time. All you have to do is call upon her and she will be near. She will help you feel strong and unafraid. Her nearness will bring you comfort. She is a very special lady who will look after you. If Daddy or I aren't nearby for you, all you need to do is call out for her and she will come to you."
"Where is she? Where does she live" What does she look like?" Why is she a girl?" Lee fired off questions as only an inquisitive five-year old can do.
Jennifer smiled down at her son. He was so cute and those hazel eyes seemed so intense as he tried to make sense of what his mother was telling him. It was Matthew who came to her rescue. "How about we talk about this tomorrow morning after we've all had some sleep, okay? Now, why don't you come into our bed and sleep tonight with Mommy and me. Then tomorrow, we'll answer all your questions."
Lee squirmed out of his mother's arms, grabbed Chaz, his tattered and worn but deeply loved teddy bear, from his bed and ran toward his parents' bedroom giggling all the way. "Last one in bed's a rotten egg," he squealed as he jumped onto the double bed.
Matthew hugged his wife and kissed her tenderly before guiding them both toward the bedroom. "I think tomorrow is going to be quite a day," he said softly against his wife's ear.
Soon all three Stetsons drifted off to a peaceful sleep.
Chapter 2
The next day Lee awoke with no apparent memory of the monsters that haunted him the night before. He bounded out of bed as soon as the sun began to lighten the sky. Jennifer decided to usher Lee into the kitchen for some breakfast so Matthew could have a few more hours of much needed sleep.
While Jennifer made breakfast, Lee played happily with his cars and trucks. Jennifer was amazed that her son seemed to be so resilient. For three nights, frightening nightmares had tormented him and yet, right now he seemed not to be bothered by anything at all. Maybe it was the fact the Matthew had been gone for several days. She wondered if the nature of their jobs might have a permanent effect on their son. He was so young - how could he be expected to understand the long and sudden absences of one or both of his parents when they were called into service due to national security or defense the country?
Lee ate his breakfast amid asking questions of his mother. "Can we go to the park today? You promised when Daddy got home, we would go to the park and play."
Jennifer, sipping tea from her treasured, china teacup, was lost in her own thoughts and didn't respond to Lee's questions.
Lee looked at her and reached over to place his hand on her arm. "Mommy, are you all right? Are the monsters after you too?" His eyes were wide with wonder and worry.
At the feel of his touch, she came out of her reverie and gathered the small boy into her arms. "No, my darling, the monsters are not after me. I was just thinking about how much I love you. You bring so much joy into my life."
With that, she hugged him tightly to her wanting to protect him from all the monsters in the world - either real or imagined.
"I love you too, Mommy, but, can we go to the park today? You promised," he pleaded.
She smiled down at him and said, "Okay, we will go to the park as soon as you get dressed and straighten up your room."
With that, Lee tore down the hall to his bedroom and began to get dressed. When he had finished, he began putting his toys away as well as a five-year old can, and called his mother into his room for inspection.
"What a good job you did, Lee. Now, why don't you go wake up your Daddy? While he's getting dressed, I'll pack us a picnic lunch for the park."
After what seemed like an eternity to the small boy, the Stetson family was finally headed toward the park. It was a perfect day to enjoy the outdoors. The sun was bright and the air warm. The beautiful weather brought other families to the park.
Soon there were several other children for Lee to play with. The Stetsons and the other parents spent the morning talking and enjoying a simple day in the park.
The family enjoyed their picnic lunch. Afterwards, Lee and Matthew divested themselves of their shoes and socks and waded in the nearby stream catching polliwogs and bugs, much to Jennifer's dismay. She did, however, enjoy the happy sounds of her son's laughter as Matthew chased him splashing him with water. She loved watching them play together. Laughing to herself, she wondered which one was enjoying this more.
All the children got together for a game of kickball, which amounted to someone kicking the ball and the others chasing after it. Matthew and Jennifer sat under the big tree watching Lee run after the ball. Jennifer was unusually quiet and Matthew prodded, "Care to tell me what's on your mind, darling?"
"Oh, I was just thinking what a perfect day this has been. We don't do this often enough. He is growing up so fast and I'm afraid we are missing out on so much of his life," she sighed.
"Does this have anything to do with the monsters?" Matthew asked tentatively.
"I guess in a way it does. This morning I was thinking about our lives and I guess I was lost in my thoughts. Your son reached over and patted me on the arm and asked me if the monsters were after me too. Oh, Matthew, I just want him to be happy," she whispered as tears began to trickle down her face.
"Jen, look at him. He is a happy little boy. All kids go through these stages with nightmares. He's no different than any other kid. It will just take him some time to work it out." Looking down at her he smiled, "You know, your Guardian Angel idea was a great idea. Maybe just knowing that there is someone besides us standing by ready to protect him will help him put the monsters back where they belong."
"Oh, I hope so. I'm surprised he hasn't asked me more about it. I expected to be interrogated this morning with questions from your son. He didn't even mention anything about it. Do you think he forgot all about it?"
"Knowing that inquisitive little mind, I'd say probably not. Smiling, he gathered his wife into his arms and placed a soft kiss on her lips.
Chapter 3
The day's activities at the park made for a very sleepy Lee. He barely made it through dinner and his bath without falling asleep. Jennifer helped him dress in his favorite Roy Rogers pajamas and she gathered him and Chaz into her arms to rock him before putting him in bed. It didn't take long for him to drift into sleep. As she rocked him, she softly hummed along with the melody playing in the background as she rubbed her chin against his head. The "lullaby" Lee listened to was "Moonlight Serenade." His parents found it comical that standard lullabies seemed to have the opposite effect on their son. He preferred the haunting melodies of the Big Band era. "Moonlight Serenade" was Lee's favorite and it usually did the trick of putting him to sleep in no time. Matthew stood by the door watching mother and child in complete peace. His was beaming as he observed this scene. Leaning against the doorframe, he was thinking back on all the times he and Jennifer danced to that very tune while she was pregnant. Maybe that was the reason it affected Lee the way it did. Walking into the room, he gathered his sleeping son into his arms, kissed him on the cheek and tucked him into bed. He then wrapped his arms around his wife and whispered, "Sleep well, my son. We love you."
Again the peaceful reverie of the night was torn apart by the wailing of a small frightened boy. Jennifer was the first to reach his room and was amazed to hear Lee calling out. But, he was not calling for her or his father. Instead he was calling out "Garden Angel, Garden Angel!" Tears came to Jennifer's eyes and she knelt by her son's bedside. Lee was not yet awake nor was he asleep. He was somewhere in between trying to find comfort from his tormentors.
Jennifer lightly grasped his shoulder shaking him slightly. "Lee, darling, wake up.. it's okay..Mommy's here," she whispered tenderly to him. She lightly caressed his face as she whispered to him.
Coming awake, and in tears, Lee reached for Jennifer. "Mommy, I'm glad you're here. The monsters came back. I called for her but she didn't come. Why didn't she come?" He looked up at her through tear-filled eyes.
Jennifer gathered Lee into her arms. "Ssh, it's all right. You know, Lee, your Guardian Angel did come to you. Maybe you just didn't know she was here for you. She came into my room and told me you were in trouble. That's why I came to you." As she spoke to him, she gently rocked him.
"But Mommy, how will I know if she's here? Can I see her?"
"No, sweetheart, no one can see their Guardian Angel, but there are ways for you to know that she's nearby. When you call to her, she will hear you. And, do you know what? You don't even have to call out loud to her. Because she is your Guardian Angel, she can hear you even if you call out to her silently."
Lee was growing very sleepy with his mother's ministrations, but he wanted to know about his Guardian Angel. "She can hear me if I don't call her out loud?" Somehow this didn't make sense to him.
"That's right. All you need to do is think about her and she will be with you. Let me show you." Jennifer realized Lee was almost asleep and she hoped her demonstration would be enough to satisfy his curiosity. "Now I want you to think about her, but don't call her out loud, okay? When she comes to you, you'll feel the beating of her wings."
Lee nodded trying to keep his eyes opened but it was a losing battle.
Ever so lightly Jennifer blew a soft breath into Lee's hair, just enough to rustle it slightly. A slight smile crossed his lips as she asked, "Did you feel her?"
Again Lee nodded. He was almost completely asleep now.
"Lee, while your Angel is with you, you'll feel a tingling feeling. That's her arms wrapped around you to keep you safe and sound and give you comfort."
Again, with the lightest touch possible Jennifer's fingertips feathered lightly upon his arm, just enough to cause goose bumps to appear on his arm.
"Do you feel her, Lee?"
He smiled again in his sleep and Jennifer began to settle him back down under the covers.
"Sweet dreams, my darling, your Guardian Angel is here with you now," she whispered.
She kissed him lightly on the cheek and watched as he burrowed into his pillow, hugging his bear and smiling sweetly.
At breakfast the next morning, Lee again seemed unaware of the tormentors who invaded his sleep. He was excitedly talking with his mother about starting school in just a few short weeks. Jennifer was telling him about his classroom and the other children who would be his classmates. She started to tell him about his teacher, Miss Tolliver, when he interrupted her.
"I saw her...last night, I saw her," he said.
Jennifer was slightly confused. "You saw Miss Tolliver last night?"
"No, Mommy, I saw my Garden Angel. When I called out to her last night, she came to me and I saw what she looks like. She's very pretty, but not as pretty as you," he quickly added flashing her one of his widest grins, which displayed the dimples in his cheeks.
Jennifer chuckled to herself. Even at the tender age of five, her son showed signs of displaying the same irresistible charm as her husband. She decided that it must be a very strong component in the Stetson family gene pool.
"Well, thank you, my dear," she said while ruffling his hair. "Now you tell me all about her."
Lee smiled and began telling his mother about his Garden Angel. "Well, she's tall and she has dark brown hair and dark brown eyes and she's beautiful. She reminds me a lot of you, Mommy. " He paused for a moment as if to recall the experience.
Jennifer was amazed by the look on Lee's face. It was one she had never seen before and she really couldn't describe it. "Darling, what is it?" she asked softly.
"The monsters came after me again last night and I did like you said. I called for her, but not out loud. I could feel her before I saw her and I know she chased away the monsters. I called to her again and that's when I saw her. When she looked at me, it was like her eyes..they sparkled. And she when she smiled at me, I knew everything was going to be okay." He paused again not knowing how to continue. "Mommy," he said placing his hand on her arm, "those monsters won't be back."
For whatever reason, the monsters that had been tormenting young Lee disappeared as suddenly as they appeared. His nightmares ended the night he saw Guardian Angel. Life in the Stetson household returned to its familiar pattern of normalcy. That is until September 18, 1955.
Chapter 4
It was a hot afternoon, even for September. Lee was hanging out in one of his favorite hiding spot, the large tree in his front yard. It was one of his favorite places to play. From up in the branches, he could see what was happening in his neighborhood. He could also spot the neighborhood ice cream truck before anyone on his street even heard the bell. That was his reason for being in the tree on this hot afternoon. But instead of the ice cream truck, his attention was drawn to a car that stopped in front of his house. A man got out of the car and went to the door. He spoke briefly to Jennifer before Matthew joined them on the porch. The man turned abruptly and returned to the car. Lee overheard only a part of his conversation with the man in the car but it didn't make much sense to him. The man said something about there being a kid and that it would be later tonight. For reasons he could quite explain, he knew he didn't like the man. He watched the car drive off.
"Lee," his mother called, "it's time for dinner. Time to come inside."
Reluctantly, Lee climbed down from the tree.
"You go wash up now and we'll eat as soon as you are finished."
During dinner they talked about the days events. Lee told his parents about the friends he made at school and all the exciting activities they were doing. Even though he had been in school only a few short weeks, he had already mastered his ABC's and numbers. He was a quick study and was learning to read.
"Son," Matthew began, "Do you remember who's coming to see you tonight?" He and Jennifer were going out for the evening to meet a "client" and their next-door neighbor, Louise Ratcliff, would be baby-sitting.
"Oh, boy, Miss Louise!" Lee exclaimed excitedly. She was Lee's favorite. He always had a good time with Miss Louise. She watched him on many occasions and had been his regular babysitter for some time now. Matthew and Jennifer were fortunate to have found her. Miss Louise was a war bride and her husband was currently stationed in Korea. Having no children of her own and being so far away from her family, she found true friendship in Jennifer and Matthew Stetson. She enjoyed spending time with Jennifer loved Lee as if he were her own son. Lee loved her because she loved to play with him. It didn't matter what they played, she would jump whole-heartedly into the game with him. Their favorite game was cowboys and Indians, especially when he got to be his childhood hero - Hopalong Cassidy.
After kissing his parents goodbye and promising to be on his best behavior, Lee retreated to his bedroom to get his toys for the evening. He came into the living room wearing his cowboy hat, vest, and his holster, complete with two cap guns. He was carrying a shotgun for Miss Louise. She looked down at him and started to laugh. "Well, I guess I know what tonight's game is going to be. I thought we might be playing cowboys, so I brought a little something for you." She reached into her pocket and slowly pulled out a small package. Handing it to Lee she said, "Go ahead and open it."
He quickly tore the small package open and shouted, "Wow!" In his hand he held a small six-pointed sheriff's badge.
"Now, let me pin that on you. I hereby make you the official sheriff of Washington!" she said pinning the badge on his vest and offering him a quick salute. For the next several hours, they played, ridding Washington of all the bad hombres. All too soon for Lee, it was time to get ready for bed. He put away his toys and Miss Louise ran a bath for him. After a light snack, it was time for a bedtime story or two, if he could convince Miss Louise with his sad, pouty look. Even after reading two stories, Lee refused to go to sleep until Miss Louise sang to him their secret song, which belonged to another of Lee's heroes, Roy Rogers. Miss Louise began the familiar strains of Happy Trails to You and soon, Lee was off to the land of slumber and pleasant dreams.
Louise was awakened by a knock on the door. Quickly glancing at the clock, she realized it was after two o'clock. Who would be knocking on the door at this hour and where were the Stetsons? They hadn't said exactly what time they would be home but they had said it wouldn't be too late. Cautiously, she peered out the door to see a state patrol officer standing on the porch. She turned on the light and opened the door a crack. "Yes?'
"Is this the Stetson residence, ma'am?
"Yes, it is. May I help you?" she replied becoming very uneasy.
"Ma'am, are you a relative of the Stetsons?"
"No, sir, I'm Louise Ratcliff, their next door neighbor and I'm staying with their son. Please, officer, is something wrong. Has something happened to Matthew and Jennifer?"
"May I come in, ma'am?"
"Oh, yes, please come in, I'm sorry."
The officer entered the house and sat on the sofa as Louise indicated. "I'm sorry to have to tell you this, but there's been an accident. I'm afraid," he paused as if unwilling to relate the terrible news he was about to deliver, "neither Mr. and Mrs. Stetson survived."
Louise crumpled unto the sofa and the officer quickly gathered her into his arms. After a few moments, she collected herself and pulled away from the officer. "How...When...What hap...?" was all she could manage to get out before she began trembling again.
The officer told her what he could about the accident. It looked as if their car went off the road and down an embankment. They were taken to the hospital. Mrs. Stetson did not survive the crash but Mr. Stetson was able to make a statement before he died. He asked that we tell his son that they love him and he asked that we contact a Colonel Robert Clayton. We are trying to reach him now.
"Oh, yes, I believe I remember Jennifer mentioning that Matthew has a half brother living in California." Louise was lost in thought trying to make some sense of this terrible news she had just heard.
"Uh..well, if you are going to be all right, I really need to be going," the officer stated. "Will you be able to stay with the boy until his uncle is contacted?'
"What...oh, yes," Louise replied, wondering how she was going to tell that precious little boy sleeping in the other room that his parents were both dead.
The officer left and Louise sat on the couch wondering what to do. She felt so alone and wished for someone to tell her this was all a dream and she would soon wake up at the sound of the Stetsons coming through the front door. Wrapping herself in the afghan that was draped over the sofa, she simply starred out into the darkness.
Another knock on the door startled her out of her thoughts. She thought at first the patrol officer must be returning. Going to the door, she peered through the window and noticed several men, nicely dressed, who were pointedly looking all around the house. The gentleman at the door held up a badge and id and asked if she would please open the door. Louise opened it only a crack.
"Who are you and what are you doing here?" she asked as the man started to enter the house. She quickly blocked his way trying to close the door in his face.
"Ma'am, my name is Hawkins, Gerald Hawkins. I, uh, work..worked with Mr. Stetson. We know about the accident. Please may I come in?"
Grudgingly, she opened the door to let him in. Right behind him were the other two men she had seen in the yard. "What's going on and why are you here? Can you tell me anything more about the accident?"
"Ma'am, we're sorry to barge in. This is Agent Sanders and Agent Tompkins. Where is the boy?"
"He's asleep, why?"
Agent Hawkins inclined his head toward Agent Tompkins motioning for him to go and get the boy.
Louise quickly leaped to stand in front of the agent. "Now just a minute here. I don't know who you are or what you're doing here but you can't go in there. He is just a little boy. If you go charging in there and wake him up, you're going to scare him to death. He doesn't know about his parents. You can't just drag him out of his bed at this hour and tell him they are dead. Please, leave him be," she pleaded with the three men standing before her.
For the moment, Agent Hawkins acquiesced. After all, they weren't accustomed to dealing with children in situations like this. It was hard enough having to break this kind of news to spouses and relatives. He motioned for the other agents and Louise to sit down.
"Miss..?"
"Ratcliff," she supplied.
"Miss Ratcliff, I am sorry if we've frightened you. It's just that, well...," he was unsure how to continue. He didn't want to frighten her and he was pretty sure that she had no inclination as to the Stetson's particular line of work. He wasn't sure how much he could reveal to her without compromising national security. And, most of all, he didn't want her to know that they had been sent to the house to safeguard the Stetson's son, in case their accident had been something more. They knew that Colonel Clayton was on his way and that the boy would be released into his custody upon his arrival.
"You were saying," Louse prompted.
"Oh, yes, I'm sorry. We work for the same people as Mr. and Mrs. Stetson. Some of the work they did involved information of a rather sensitive nature. This information, if it got into the wrong hands could be very detrimental to our business. We are here simply to make sure nothing happens to the boy or the Stetson's home."
"Oh my! Do you think someone might try to hurt Lee?" She was very concerned and began to cry softly.
"No, ma'am, I really don't think so, but until the police complete their investigation, we are merely doing this as a precaution. The boy's uncle will be here in the morning."
"Oh," was all she could say. It was nearly morning. The light of day was beginning to dawn. The room fell silent for a moment and Louise heard a small voice call out from the other room.
She was up off the couch in a flash and went into Lee's room. He was not fully awake and she reached out her hand to comfort him. Shh, it's okay. You go back to sleep." She sat on the edge of his bed and slowly rubbed his back in an effort to ease back to sleep. As she did, tears rolled down her cheeks. There before her was this precious little boy who's world would now never be the same. How could fate be so cruel!
Assured he was again sound asleep, Louise went back into the living room only to find another gentleman had arrived. This gentleman was dressed in an air force uniform and he quickly concluded this must be Colonel Robert Clayton.
Chapter 5
Colonel Robert Clayton was military through and through. He had seen action in Japan and had recently returned from Korea. From the moment he arrived at the house, he began giving orders. The agents were unceremoniously dismissed; they had no choice but to wait outside. The Colonel was about to do the same with Louise.
Not wanting to be disrespectful, she tried addressing the Colonel calmly. Unfortunately, he was not listening. He was instructing his aide as to the funeral arrangements for his half brother and his wife. He was also giving instruction about what should be done with the items in the house and where they were to be shipped or stored.
Listening to this was causing Louise's Irish temper to surface. "Excuse me, but what do you think you are doing?" She stood in front of the Colonel with her hands on her hips. He finally looked up at her outburst and for the first time acknowledged her presence.
"And you are?" he asked.
"Louise Ratcliff, the Stetson's neighbor. I was staying with Lee tonight while the Stetson's went out for the..." Her voice cracked as she again thought of the terrible events that had occurred that evening.
"Well, Miss...Ratcliff...you may go home now. I won't be needing you anymore." Turning back to his aide, the Colonel began again issuing orders.
"Sir," she stated trying to remain calm, "have you forgotten that there is a five year old little boy sleeping in that room who has no idea his world has just been shattered. He kissed his mother and father goodbye last night for the last time and now he's never going to be able to do that again!" She buried her head in her hands and began to cry.
The Colonel was silent for the first time upon entering the house. He had been so busy trying to take care of the matters at hand that he had forgotten about the child. How does one go about telling a child that not one but both of his parents are dead. The Colonel certainly had no experience at this. He had, on several occasions, the unfortunate task of informing a spouse or parents that their husband or son had been killed in the line of duty. It was the one part of his military experience that he abhorred.
Another thought suddenly occurred to the Colonel. He didn't really know this child. Well, that wasn't entirely true. He had visited Matthew and Jennifer shortly after Lee was born. Matthew was so proud of his newborn son. He asked the Colonel when he was going to settle down and begin a family of his own. The Colonel smiled at the memory. Through the years, he had received letters from his brother and several times they included pictures of Lee as a toddler. While he had been stationed in Korea, he hadn't received much mail, but that was due mainly to the military conflict and the nature of his tour of duty.
Louise's sob brought him back to the present. "You're right, I'm sorry...I was just trying to, well, never mind."
"Sir, I don't mean to intrude, but I think I should stay at least until Lee wakes up. I mean he doesn't know you and he'll be upset enough as it is."
"Um...Miss Ratcliff...I know it will be hard on him but..."
"How are you going to tell him?" she asked directly.
'Well, I was thinking, um..perhaps it would be best coming from you...um..a woman and all," the Colonel said while looking down at the floor. "And he knows you and...well..."
Louise was filled with fear and relief all at the same time. She wasn't sure she had the strength to tell Lee what happened. After all, she had just lost two of her closest friends. She knew for certain that she didn't want to be the one who would break his heart, but she also knew that at this moment, she was the only one for the job. She could tell by his actions that the Colonel was, to say the least, uncomfortable around children.
"Well, all right," she said, starting towards the kitchen. "Let me put on a pot of coffee."
Once again, in the early morning hours, the house quieted down. The Colonel and his aide went outside to talk with the agents and find out if any other information had come from the investigation. From the evidence gathered, the accident appeared to be just that. So, with nothing more to go on, the agents returned to headquarters. The Colonel headed to the morgue to positively identify the bodies Matthew and Jennifer.
A short time later, Louise heard the stirrings of Lee waking up. Rising slowly, she got up from the table and drew in a deep breath. She had been silently praying for strength to get through this and for God to give her the right words to say to help Lee understand what was happening. She opened his door and went over to his bed sitting down on the edge as she had last night.
"Hey, sleepyhead, good morning," she said softly to him. She gently pushed the hair back out of his face. "How's my favorite cowboy this morning?"
"Hi," he said happily. He was not surprised to see Louise this morning. After all, she had spent the night several times before when his parents went out of town.
"Come on, let's get you some breakfast."
She was not trying to avoid telling him. She just wanted to give him some time to fully wake up and give herself a little more time to gather her thoughts.
After breakfast, Louise sent Lee to his room to get dressed. "Do you think I can wear my badge again today?" he asked running down the hall.
"Oh, I'm sure it will be okay," she said. Knowing that the time was drawing near, she called out after him, "Lee, when you are dressed, come back out here. There's something I need to tell you." How in the world was she going to be able to do this? He was only five. No one that age deserves to lose his or her parents. Why did things like this happen to good people? She knew there was no answer to that question and she also knew that she could postpone the inevitable longer.
"You mean I don't hafta clean my room first? Yippee!"
A short time later Lee found Louise sitting at the kitchen table staring out the window. Reaching out, he gently touched her arm. "Miss Louise, are you okay? You seem kinda sad."
Trying to convince herself not to cry, she looked at him and patted the chair beside her. "Have a seat, Lee."
He climbed onto the chair besides her and again patted her hand. "Oh, honey, something very, very bad happened last night and I don't know how to tell you." Lee's eyes were wide as he starred intently at Louise. "Lee, last night there was...well..there was a terrible car accident. The car that your Mom and Dad were riding in crashed and..." 'come on Louise, just say it and get it over with,' she said trying to regain her confidence that was surely slipping away.
"Where are Mommy and Daddy? When are they coming home?" He was confused not only by the news he just heard but also by the look on Louise's face.
"Lee, they won't be coming home."
"Why not?"
When the car crashed, your Mom and Dad were killed." There she had said it. Now it was time to deal with the repercussions.
"No!" was the first thing out of Lee's mouth. He jumped down off the chair and ran into his parents' bedroom and flung himself onto their bed. "No, no, no," he cried as he tried to escape the pain that was filling his heart. Louise ran after him and sat down beside him on the bed. She watched his tiny body shaking with sobs. She gathered him into her arms and held him tightly as they both cried over the loss they had suffered. She held him to her as she rocked them both seeking comfort.
Louise wasn't sure how long they remained on the bed. She did notice that, for the moment, he was no longer shaking. His tears were quieting although they had not completely stopped. Still, she held him, letting him know how much she loved him.
She looked down at his tear-stained face and realized his lips were moving. She was unable to hear him so she asked, "Honey, are you trying to say something?"
He nodded his head for he was unable to speak. After a few more minutes he quietly said, "I was calling for my Garden Angel. Mommy told me that if she and Daddy were away, my Garden Angel would be here for me."
Somehow knowing he was talking about a Guardian Angel, she hugged him more tightly to her. "Oh, Lee, I'm sure she is here right now." As she spoke, her breath lightly ruffled through his hair.
He had a far away look on his face as he heard the voice of his Garden Angel. "I'm here, Lee. I'll always be here for you."
Slowly sitting up he simply said, "She's here." With that, calmness settled over him. He merely continued to sit on the bed in deep thought.
Louise was growing somewhat concerned by his silence. She spoke softly to him asking, "Do you want to talk about it?" She wasn't sure what he was thinking but she was afraid of what might happen if he didn't start talking. "Hey, let's go wash our faces and we'll talk, okay?" She took him by the hand and gently led him from the bedroom into the bathroom. Tenderly, she wiped away the tears from his face before taking the washrag to her own face. "Come on, let's go."
"Lee, please, tell me what you're thinking."
"Why?" It was a simple question but one without answer.
"Oh Lee, I don't know why. Sometimes accidents just happen."
"Did I...did they go away because of me?"
"No, they didn't. You did nothing wrong. Your parents loved you very, very much. I'm sure they didn't want to leave you."
"Where are they? Can I see them?"
Louise spent the next hour answering his questions with as much honesty as she thought he could bear. She told him that his parents hadn't suffered in the accident although she was sure that wasn't true. But, there were certain things that a five year old just didn't need to know.
"Who's gonna stay here with me?" Louise was not quite sure what he meant. "Why, I'm here with you for now," she stated.
"No, who's gonna take care of me?" Am I gonna hafta live here by myself?"
Before she could answer that question, he asked another. "Who is gonna love me?"
That question broke her heart. "Oh, honey, even though your parents have gone away, they will always love you no matter what." Pointing to his chest she told him that his parents would always continue to live in his memories and his heart. "And me, I will love you, forever." She was just beginning to tell Lee about the Colonel when he returned to the house.
"Lee, this is your uncle, Colonel Robert Clayton."
Before the Colonel could say anything, Lee asked, "How come your uniform is blue? My Daddy's uniform is green." Lee had spent many hours sitting in the lap of his daddy looking at family pictures.
Taken aback, the Colonel was not sure how to respond. "Well," he said hesitantly, "I am a member of the United States Air Force. Your dad was in the Army. Different branches of the military have different color uniforms.
"Oh yeah," Lee stated non-plussed, "Navy is white and the Marines are red."
That piece of information was not quite correct if he were talking about dress uniforms, but the Colonel decided to let it slide.
"Why are you here?" The Colonel felt as if he were facing an inquisition. This is certainly not what he expected and he was growing increasingly more uncomfortable by the minute.
Noticing the jeep parked out in front of the house, Louise felt she might be able to distract Lee for a few minutes in order to talk privately with the Colonel.
"Lee, the Colonel arrived in a jeep that's parked outside. Would you like to go and see it?"
"Okay," Lee replied getting down from the sofa not sure if he should be leaving Louise. She gave him a nod of reassurance and he headed out the door.
After a brief bit of uncomfortable silence the Colonel said, "Thank you for rescuing me. I take it you told him. How's he taking it?"
"Well, he's very upset but he have been talking about it and I think he is beginning to understand. It's going to be very hard on him. I tried to be honest with him without giving him any information that might further upset him. I was just beginning to talk with him about the funeral when you arrived. Maybe we could do that together. If he knows what to expect, he won't be as upset."
"Do you think it's a good idea for him to attend the funeral? I mean he's only a kid."
"Exactly, and he needs to know what happened to his parents and where they are buried.
The Colonel let her words sink in for a moment before replying. "I guess you're right. I've attended several military funerals with children present. They seem to gather some sense of closure from the experience."
"Colonel, would you help me tell him what will happen tomorrow? I haven't attended too many military funerals so I don't know how they might differ from non-military ones.
This woman intrigued the Colonel. She obviously cared a great deal for his nephew but seemed not to have a family of her own. "Do you any family, Miss Ratcliff?"
She was thrown by his question since it was so off base from what they were discussing. Somewhat embarrassed by his question, she answered shyly, "No sir, not yet. I'm hoping when my husband returns, we will be able to start a family."
"Your husband..but..I..thought," the Colonel was badly stumbling over his words.
"Yes, sir, my husband's in Korea right now. He is scheduled to be home early next year."
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to pry. I guess...I just thought...Well, you were introduced as Miss Ratcliff."
"No, I'm the one who's sorry. Miss Louise is what Lee calls me. His mother wouldn't allow him to call me by my first name only. You know, her proper British upbringing and all." She smiled at the pleasant memory of her friend. "She wanted Lee to be a perfect little gentleman, but I think he is more interested in being a cowboy."
They laughed together at her comment. It was such a relief to laugh after all the sadness that had filled the house.
The remainder of the day passed quickly. The Colonel and Louise talked with Lee about the funeral. He asked what seemed like hundreds of questions and when Louise found the Colonel growing weary, she again found a way to distract Lee. Lee was somewhat leery of the Colonel and kept his distance. The most difficult time of the day occurred when the Colonel told Lee he would be taking him to California the day after the funeral. This bombshell did not sit any better with Louise than it did with Lee. She didn't believe the Colonel could just whisk him away after all that had happened. Lee had not only lost his parents, he was now going to move away from the only house he had ever known and they only people he loved. The transition was going to be difficult for them all. She knew she had no say so in the matter. After all, the Colonel was his blood relative. She just thought the situation could have been handled differently. Lee was not some young recruit that could be told to follow orders and expected to comply without
Awkwardness again settled over the house after dinner. Lee was subdued and the conversation between the adults had come to a standstill. It was the Colonel who broke the silence. "Uh..Louise, may I speak to you in the kitchen.
"I was wondering if...well, if you...could stay here tonight with Lee." Seeing her questioning expression, he quickly said, "Well, I need to go back to the base and besides, I think, he'll feel more comfortable with you here. Do you mind?"
"Of course not Colonel. I'd be glad to stay."
"Thank you, Louise. I'll be back tomorrow morning around ten to pick you both up for the funeral, it that's all right."
"That will be fine Colonel. We'll see you about ten.
Chapter 6
The night was a long and difficult for both Lee and Louise. Lee didn't want to go to sleep fearing another tragedy might occur. He was frightened and confused by all of the events happening around him. When Louise finally did get him to sleep, he slept fitfully tossing and turning as if trying to fight against the monsters who had overtaken his world.
The next morning, Louise helped Lee get dressed. He was wearing his new suit, the one his mother recently bought for him to wear for the school music program next month. He looked so handsome standing there before her in this three-piece suit, white shirt and tie. Jennifer had told Louise that when she had taken Lee shopping for the suit, she had a terrible time trying to get him into it. That was until she mentioned how much he looked like his daddy in this grown up suit. With that, Lee's chest puffed out and he stood straight looking into the mirror. He looked simply adorable in it and Jennifer purchased it on the spot. Lee couldn't wait to model it for Matthew when he came home that evening.
It was just before ten and Louise had just finished dressing when Lee came to her. "Miss Louise, do you think it would be okay to wear this today?" In his hand he held the badge she had given him yesterday.
"I'm sure it will be fine," she said softly to him and pinned the badge to the pocket of his suit.
A knock at the door reminded them that the Colonel had arrived. Taking Lee's hand in hers, she led them to the car. They drove silently to the cemetery. Upon arriving, they left the car and were escorted to the chairs awaiting the family. Lee stared sadly at the two caskets, covered with the American and British flags respectively. There were flowers everywhere along with a military color guard and a military honor guard. When Lee saw them, he lightly tugged on Louise's arm. "Are they going to shoot someone?" he asked wide-eyed.
"No darling, remember we talked about the twenty-one gun salute? These men are here to provide that honor for your mother and father."
Several spoke at the funeral before the pastor. Lee was feeling lost. He looked around at all the people in attendance, but he didn't recognize most of them. A few neighbors were present as was Mrs. Tolliver. He wanted his parents, he wanted to see them, he needed to see them, but they were nowhere to be found. He had been told that they were dead and that their bodies were in the decorated fancy boxes before him but he wasn't sure what to make of that. He only knew that he felt terribly alone and he did they only thing he could do at that moment. He held more tightly onto Louise's hand and he called silently for his Garden Angel. Little did he know that from the moment his parents had been killed, his Garden Angel had wrapped him in her embrace, offering him comfort and protecting him from the pain that was too much for a five-year old to bear. She would never leave him again. She would remain with him and try to keep his heart from breaking completely. When the time was right, she would be revealed to him.
Lee stood silently during the twenty-one-gun salute. The noise from the guns was deafening but he stood along with the adults unflinching. The military color guard removed first the British flag and then the American flag folding them both with precision and ceremony. They approached the small boy and extended both flags to him. With tears silently running down his face, Lee reached out and took the flags and tucked them under his left arm. The officer presenting them took a step back and saluted. Without thinking, Lee saluted back in the fashion his father had taught him. That act brought a tear to the eye of the Colonel.
The ceremony was finally over and Louise suggested to the Colonel that it might be best if they leave so Lee didn't have to witness the caskets being lowered into the ground. The Colonel agreed to that suggestion and drove them back to the house. He explained to Louise that he needed to return to the base in order to finalize plans for his return to California with Lee that afternoon.
"All right Colonel," she said to him on the porch. She sent Lee into the house to change out of his suit. "Colonel, do you mind if we pack some of his things?" I mean, his clothes and well, maybe some of his toys. I don't know exactly what he'll want to take, but, well, he needs to have some of his own things with him if he's going to have to leave here."
"Yes, I suppose that's true, although we can't take too much right now." I'll have my aide send someone to the house to pack up everything before it's sold. You put together the things you think he needs for now and we'll send for the rest later." The Colonel turned abruptly to leave, seemingly wanting to get this whole thing over with. He certainly was in a quandary. He knew nothing about children or at least taking care of them and yet, he was now forced to care for this child who didn't even seem to like him. Well, no matter, this was now his duty in life and if there was one thing about Colonel Robert Clayton, it was that he always did his duty. Somehow, he would make the best of the situation. After all, the boy just needed some discipline, right, isn't that what every new recruit needed?
Louise headed inside and changed her clothes as well. She sought out Lee but could not find him anywhere in the house. She was about to panic when a though occurred to hear. She went outside to the big tree in the front yard. Just as she suspected, there was Lee sitting in the crook of the biggest branch.
"Hey Pardner, what'ca doin'?" For a moment he didn't respond.
"Just thinkin'," he stated flatly.
"Why don't you come down and tell me what you're thinkin' about? We could have some lunch together."
He climbed down from the tree and she took his hand as she led him into the house. She began gathering the makings for sandwiches. Moving about the kitchen, she occasionally stole a glance at him. He was trying to be so brave but she knew that the full impact of the recent events had not settled upon him. She was going to miss him so much. He had become like a son to her and his parents were her best friends. With Lee leaving, she was going to be all alone again. Determined not to let me see her tears, she quickly wiped them away and said, "So, are you gonna tell me what you're thinkin' about?"
"California," he again said flatly. "I don't even know where that is. I don't know anybody there. I don't think I'm gonna like it."
"Oh, I see," she replied. As she made his sandwich she said to him, "Well, remember a few short weeks ago when you were about to start school? Remember how you didn't want to go because you didn't know anybody?"
Taking a bite from his sandwich, he nodded.
"When you finally got there, it wasn't so bad, was it? I mean you made some new friends in your class, didn't you? You told me just the other day that you really liked Jimmy and Tammy, even though she is a girl."
He smiled at her remembering their conversation. "Yeah, Mommy told me I had to be nice to her even is she was a girl."
They both laughed. It felt good to laugh.
"I'm sure California will be such as much fun as kindergarten." She wasn't entirely convinced of that fact herself. After all, this child was going to live on a military base. But, she reminded herself, she and her husband had lived on several bases before he went overseas and there were families with children. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad. At least she could only hope for the best for her young friend.
They continued talking over lunch. Louise began putting things away and Lee cleared off the table. She knew that it was time for them to begin packing because the Colonel was due back around three.
She packed most of his clothes, many of which had been newly purchased for school. She knew he would need them for school in California. Once his clothes were packed, she turned her attentions to Lee and his toys. Together they went through his toy box carefully making selections. She tenderly explained that even though he couldn't take everything with him right now, the Colonel would have all this things shipped out to California soon. Keeping his knapsack out, she decided to pack it last.
"Lee, come here, please," she said as she patted the bed beside her. "This knapsack is for you to take with you on the plane. Did you know that you and the Colonel are flying in a big plane to California? I am putting some things in this knapsack for you to play with. This is going to be a long trip so if you need to, you can get these out an play with them." She showed several of the games and toys she was packing. She also put in some Tootsie Rolls and pretzels figuring they wouldn't melt or be messy and knowing he was bound to get hungry before they made it back to California. Next she packed some tablets and pencils. "Lee, I know you are learning to write your ABC's so I want you to write me a letter anytime you want to talk with me. You can tell me about all your new friends and your life in California. I'm sure the Colonel or someone there will help you if you ask. And, I promise to write you and tell you all about what's happening in Washington."
"Really, I can write to you?"
"You bet, I better hear from you. I've never been to California either."
Lee reached up and hugged her, wrapping both arms around her neck. She hugged him back knowing their parting was going to be difficult.
The last item she packed was Chaz. "I know you'll have at least one friend in California," she said as she gently place the bear into the knapsack and closed the flap. Right on cue, there was a knock on the door. The Colonel had arrived.
They loaded the car and the Colonel thanked her for all she had done. He really liked this woman and vowed he would do something for her for all she had done to help him with this whole terrible situation. Louise helped Lee on with his knapsack. She kneeled down to look into his hazel eyes one last time. You take care of yourself, little man, okay? I expect to hear from you soon. I love you, Lee, and I always will." She was trying her best not to cry in front of him but she was fight a losing battle.
"I love you to, Miss Louise. I promise I'll write soon." He too was trying to be brave. He took the Colonel's hand and was half way to the car when he turned and ran back into her arms. "Miss Louise, are you gonna be okay? Who's gonna take care of you now? You can share my Garden Angel. She could be there for us both."
Holding him tightly to her she whispered gently to him, "I'll be fine, honey. Don't you worry about me." Gently disengaging his arms from around her neck she said, "It's time for you to go or you'll miss your plane."
This time he made it to the car but he stared out the back window until he could no longer see his beloved Miss Louise. With tears silently running down his face, he said to no one in particular, "she's all alone now, just like me."
The Colonel took pity on this little boy before him and reached out to him. Looking him straight in the eye he said, "You, Lee are not alone. We have each other. And Miss Louise won't be alone either. I know for a fact that her husband will be returning home very shortly." It was the very least he could do for this woman and he had enough clout to arrange for Lt. William Ratcliff's homecoming.
Chapter 7
Life in California was not all that bad. Lee liked the weather and he had begun making some friends. True to his word, he had been writing to Miss Louise. One of the old soldiers who worked in the mess hall helped with writing the letters. And when he received one from Miss Louise, it was Barney who helped him read it. Lee was happy to learn that Louise's husband had returned safely from Korea.
Lee had found a confidant in Barney. Lee didn't get along very well with the Colonel. He was defiant to say the least. The more he defied the Colonel, the more the Colonel clamped down on him. It took a while, but they finally came to an understanding. They learned to tolerate each other. There were times when each of them had tried to approach the other in order to develop some sort of relationship. The Colonel simply did not know how to break through the defenses of the little boy who was now his ward. He tried once again the night the boxes from the house in Washington arrived. He wanted Lee to go through the boxes to see if there was anything he wanted to keep in his room. He flatly refused so the Colonel simply had the boxes moved to storage. Lee was so hurt by his parents' death that he couldn't bear to see any of the things that used to be a part of the only home he knew.
Barney was the one Lee went to with his problems. He told Barney about waking up in the middle of the night and being scared because he didn't know where he was. He told Barney about how the kids in school picked on him because he was the new kid. Barney would listen to Lee and would try to offer some words of reassurance to this poor little boy who had taken a liking to him. He liked having the kid around. It helped to brighten up his rather dull life as a military cook. Barney was patient with Lee unlike the Colonel, who expected any command given to be obeyed on the spot. But as much as Lee liked Barney, it would be a long time before he began to trust in him or anyone else for that matter.
But there also were things that Lee told no one. He simply kept them to himself. He never told anyone how terribly lonely he felt. He had no one to tell him how to grieve for his parents. Sometimes he was angry with them for leaving him and often times he wondered if he had done something to cause them to go away. Maybe if he'd only loved them more, they would have stayed. He never told anyone about his recurring nightmare, about the monster with no face and the door he was unable to open. He knew his parents were on the other side of the door but he couldn't get it open. Just as the monster was about to get him, he always woke up. Another of those things he never told anyone about was his Garden Angel. Although he had not seen her but the one time, she was etched in his memory. Sometimes, when he was feeling very lonely, he would go to his new favorite tree and climb up into the branches. This tree was nothing like the one he left behind in Washington, but it afforded him some comfort. He would climb up into its branches to think. Sometimes his thoughts would lead him to tears, which he tried to avoid. The Colonel told him that tears were for sissies. But he always found comfort in the thoughts about his Garden Angel. When he needed her, he could hear her voice saying, "I'm here with you Lee. I'll never leave you."
Chapter 8
Lee Stetson had become a world traveler at the tender age of seven. His uncle had been transferred to Guam and of course, Lee went with him. These moves were repeated often and before long, Lee had seen just about every base the Air Force had. Although Lee enjoyed seeing new places, it was tough having to begin anew each time, making friends, staring in a new school, and trying to fit in. That was the problem, he felt as if he didn't fit in. Even though he was surrounded by people, he always felt alone. The only constant in his life seemed to be loss - the loss of his parents, the loss of the security of his world, and the loss of friends with each new move. One of the things he regretted about the moves was leaving behind the friends he had made. It was during on of these moves that he lost Miss Louise. Although he had continued to write to her and she to him, they had both moved and unfortunately now, neither knew where or how to contact the other. Lee felt the loss deeply when his last letter had been returned. He had even approached the Colonel about using his connections to find where Louise and her husband were. The Colonel explained that once a serviceman left the military, they had no way of finding them. Another lost relationship that would be etched in his memory forever.
Part II
Chapter 9
For several years, Lee had been searching for answers regarding his parents' death. He had a gut feeling that he had never been told the whole truth about the night they died. With his Agency security clearance, he had access to all of the "official" paperwork but that offered little in the way of evidence. Lately he had been checking into his father's cases with army intelligence. Maybe if he could figure out what case or cases his father had been working on, that might provide him with a lead. Of course all this had to be done when he was not involved in an Agency case. It had been several weeks since he'd been able to turn his attention back to his search. Things had finally begun to settle down at the Agency.
There was another reason Lee was so determined to resolve this situation regarding his parents' death. The nightmare he'd had a child had returned with a vengeance. For the past three nights, he had awakened in a cold sweat after seeing the monster with no face while trying to escape through the locked door. Maybe, just maybe the request he'd sent to the CIA would provide him with a place to start.
After unceremoniously escorting Amanda out of the Q-Bureau and slamming the door in her face, he sat down at his desk to review the material from the CIA. What he discovered confused him even more. Not only was his father an army intelligence officer, his mother worked with British Intelligence. Just a happy little spy family!
The material he reviewed eluded to the fact that his parents were somehow involved in double dealings with the Russians. There were no declarations, only innuendos, implying his parents were double agents. He quickly gathered up the papers shoving them back into the folders. He placed a quick call downstairs to let Billy know he was signed out for the day and stormed out of the office. He headed out to meet with one of his contacts at the CIA. One way or another, he was going to find out who had filed these reports on his parents and why. With determination and a veiled threat, Lee was assured that his contact would provide him with the information he sought.
Returning home, Lee spent a restless night haunted by the reports he read and the reoccurring nightmare.
The next morning he arrived at the office to find Amanda sitting at his desk reading the CIA files on his parents. Snatching the files from her hands, he turned briskly and left the office saying he had something to do. Arriving home, Lee found he was exhausted. Having slept little for the past several nights coupled with the emotional turmoil he felt after reviewing the files, he laid back on the couch clutching a picture of his parents. In just a few short moments, he was asleep. He slept fitfully for an hour or so before being awakened suddenly by the ringing of the telephone. Quickly sitting up, he heard the answering machine kick on and heard the sound of Amanda's voice. Hearing her voice made him smile. She called to apologize to him and to let him know that she was concerned about him.
Amanda was concerned about him. He wasn't acting normally and she knew this had something to do with his parents. She had seen the CIA files on his desk that morning before he snatched them from her hands and abruptly left the office. Since he didn't answer her call, she wasn't sure what to do. What she did know was that her partner, best friend, and the love of her life had a problem. She was determined to help him whether he wanted her help of not. So, she decided she would go and find him. She would start at his apartment.
Amanda used her lock pick to gain entrance into Lee's apartment. She was convinced he was here - the 'vette was parked outside and she saw his suit coat hanging on the rack inside his door. She called out to him but received no response. Quietly, she tiptoed into his living room. Seeing all the pictures scattered about the coffee table confirmed her suspensions that this had something to do with his parents. She finally found him, asleep in his bedroom. She called out to him and reached out to touch his arm. Before she knew what was happening, Lee grabbed her, tossing her over his body to the other side of the bed. Before she could utter a protest, he was straddling her body, effectively pinning her to the bed.
Lee was startled when he realized what he had done as he recognized Amanda. "What are you doing here?" he asked gruffly,
"And how did you get in?"
Amanda explained that and why she had come. She wasn't about to let him dismiss her.
"This is something very personal. Can't you just leave it at that?" he asked running his hand through his hair.
"No, she answered, "because when someone I care about is hurting, I hurt too."
Lee thought for a moment still not convinced he wanted to share this with her. But the look in those dark brown eyes gave him the strength to open up. "I've never told anyone. Never leaned on anyone, even when I wanted to."
Her response threw him slightly off guard. "You can lean on me. I'm a lot stronger than I look!"
Lee knew in his heart that statement spoke volumes. He had never known anyone like Amanda. Her capacity to give was unlike anything he had ever known. And he loved her with all his heart.
Smiling softly at her, he reached out his hand and said, "Let's take a walk."
They walked in the park arm in arm. Lee told her the whole story about his parents and what he had recently discovered. He told her about his recurring dream. Amanda listened intently but was unable to help him figure out the meaning of the dream.
"Amanda, do you really want to help me with this?" he asked hoping he already knew her answer.
"That's a pretty silly question," she responded.
Turning her to him and holding her gently at the waist, he replied, "I have a plan, but your really gonna hafta trust me on this."
Chapter 10
Lee and Amanda headed to the Agency. Lee told Amanda that he needed her to create a diversion in the Agency drug dispensary so he could carry out his plan. While Amanda engaged the doctor with her questions about the workings of aspirin, Lee snuck in and took something from the locked drug cabinet. Once he was safely out the door, Amanda thanked the doctor for his help and quickly exited the dispensary to catch up with Lee.
Amanda was appalled that Lee had taken a vile of promazipan, a newly developed drug that aids the patient in recalling in vivid details, memories deeply buried. Billy cornered them as they were leaving letting the Scarecrow know in no uncertain terms that his absence at the Agency had not gone unnoticed. He told them of the rumors regarding a possible threat to Rene Sinclair, the next president of Il Dermarin. Billy mentioned that a gentleman from Langley had left repeated messages for Lee. Billy admonished him to please pick up his messages.
Lee and Amanda drove to Langley to meet with his source. As promised, the man came up with the name of the person who had filed the reports against Lee's parents. The man's name was Thomas Blackthorne. The same Thomas Blackthorne who was the friend of Sinclair. Lee was more confused than ever. What could Thomas Blackthorne have against his parents? He decided to visit the Blackthorne estate and see if he could find any answers to his questions.
Chapter 11
Not only was his visit to the Blackthorne estate a failure, it caused both he and Amanda to receive a severe reprimand from Billy. In fact, he had unceremoniously thrown them both out of his office. Lee was mad and Amanda hurt. She had never been subject to that side of Billy.
They headed to Lee's apartment where Lee was determined to use the drug he had appropriated to help him learn more about the locked door.
"I wish you weren't so determined to go through with this," Amanda stated hoping to talk him out of it.
"We should have done this yesterday. Okay, you got the list?" referring to the list of questions he had written for her to guide him through this.
"Yeah, right here."
"Now, I'll go under pretty fast," he said as he injected the drug into his arm. "Remember, if my temperature spikes suddenly or if I start to get violent, you bring me right out of this," he told her. They both had read the literature on this drug and since it was still undergoing testing, there had been several reports of unpleasant side effects.
"If I start to convulse..."
"Please don't do that!"
His head fell back against the pillow and as he drifted off he said, "See ya later."
Amanda watched him for a moment to make sure his breathing remained regular.
"Lee, can you hear me?"
"Um hum."
Do you know who I am?"
Amanda watched as the most peaceful look passed over Lee's face followed by the sweetest smile she had ever seen
"My Garden Angel," was his reply.
Amanda was shocked to say the least.
"Who?" she asked again.
"My Amanda," he said smiling softly.
Amanda couldn't help but smile back at him. Wishing she could explore in more detail his last comments, she quickly put those thoughts out of her mind and got on to the questions Lee had given her. Guiding him by the questions she asked, she discovered there was a door in the basement that was locked. When Lee became agitated, Amanda quickly soothed him by telling him that everything was okay. She next asked him to look at his dream.
"You're back upstairs in the hallway and the monster's there," she began but as Lee became more animated, she sought someway to reassure him. "He can't move cause his frozen. He can't move and he can't hurt you." With that, Lee calmed down and settled back into the pillows. "Now, what does he look like?" she asked cautiously.
A look of confusion passed over Lee's face. After a moment he answered, "He doesn't have a face." Once again he began to twist and turn on the bed as if he were trying to get away.
Thinking quickly, Amanda replied, "He's gone, the monster's gone."
Lee calmed down once again and had a look of peace on his face. Amanda's thoughts went back to his responses to her first questions - My Garden Angel and My Amanda. But realizing this was neither the time nor place to ask him about these, she began to bring him out of his drug-induced sleep.
""When I count the three you'll wake up and feel refreshed and good as if you had a long night's sleep. Are you feeling okay?"
"I'm fine," was Lee's reply.
He seemed so at peace, she thought again about asking him about his earlier responses.
"Do you have time for just one more question?" As quickly as the words were out of her mouth she regretted saying them. What was she thinking? She was here trying to help Lee find out the truth behind his parents death. "Never mind," she added quickly. "Look, okay, 1...2...3..."
Lee surprised her by rising up from the bed so quickly. "There's a room in the basement!'" he stated emphatically.
Amanda tried her best to keep him from getting up but he firmly told her that he was going to find out the room with or without her help. And so, they were off to his boyhood home to discover what lay behind the locked door.
Chapter 12
Arriving at the house, Lee got out of the car and looked around. He had not been by here since he'd left thirty years ago. The memories came flooding back to him. Hearing a noise, his attention was drawn to the large oak tree. There in its branches was a young boy who was about to jump down. Lee shook his head trying to clear the remnants of the drug from his system. Amanda looked over and seeing him shaking his head, quietly called out his name. After assuring her he was okay, they entered the house and soon found the door in the basement. Lee was reeling. Being in the house again along with the effects of the drug were bringing back old memories. He could hear and see his parents again through the eyes of the five year old he had been. Gathering the information from the desk, they were about to head back upstairs when Lee paused; his eyes drawn to a pipe stand at the edge of the desk. He slowly reached out, picked up the pipe and slipped it into his pocket. Amanda saw the gesture and smiled at him. She knew this was very difficult for him. The pipe, although dirty and covered with cobwebs, was a connection with his father. One of the few he had. He gave her a shy smile and the both turned to leave his childhood home.
Back at his apartment, they were trying to make sense of the information they had found. There were lists of corporations each marked with some symbol. They discovered that none of the corporations were currently listed on the stock exchange. It was hard to believe that all of the companies had gone out of business. As Lee was gathering the papers to put them away for the night, Amanda opened a leather-covered book that had been among the papers. Upon discovering that she held Jennifer Stetson's personal diary in her hands, she was slightly embarrassed to be looking at something that would be so personal to Lee. At her slight expression, Lee looked up.
"Find something," he asked?
"It's a letter to you... from your mother," she said handing him the booklet. "It starts up here," she said as she pointed to the top of the page.
Lee took the book from her with shaking hands. Here was another connection to his past, something he'd never had before today. He began reading the letter but as he started his voice cracked with emotion. My dear son, there's so much I want to tell you..." He couldn't go on. Tears welled up in his eyes and his throat was choked with emotion. Trying his best to remain in control, he passed the booklet back to Amanda asking her to read it.
"Are you sure?" she asked tenderly. She knew this was a very special moment for him and she was flattered he was asking her to share it with him.
"My dear son," she began, "there are so many things I want to tell you when you are older, so I'm writing them down lest I forget. Let me begin with your father."
Amanda spent the next several moments recounting how Matthew and Jennifer Stetson met. She was surprised to find their meeting was very similar in nature to the way she and Lee met. Reading Jennifer's words about Matthew showing up at her basement flat knocking on her window brought to mind the many times Lee had shown up in her backyard knocking on her window. With a smile on her face, she handed the book back to Lee and moved over to sit beside him. Wrapping her arm around his shoulder, she gathered him into her embrace. "Like father, like son," she simply replied.
Chapter 13
With Francine's help, they discovered what the Stetsons had discovered. Blackthorne used money made in the black market and selling secrets to the Russians to set up a number of dummy corporations in Il Demarin. He had made millions from these corporations at the expense of the inhabitants of the small coastal island.
Instinctively, Lee knew this was somehow connected to the president -elect of Il Demarin. They made their way to the hotel where Sinclair would soon be addressing the press on behalf of his country. Lee was the first to spot the assassin on the roof of the building across the street. Giving both Amanda and Francine their instructions, Lee made his way to confront the would-be assassin. Standing before him with gun drawn, Lee experienced another flashback. As a boy up in the tree in the front yard, he heard Blackthorn's threat against his parents. Shaking his head to clear his thoughts, Lee now had a clear picture of what had happened. Blackthorne had been responsible for the death of his parents just as he had arranged for the assassination of Rene Sinclair. Racing from the rooftop, he barely had time to tell Amanda where he was headed and what he had discovered.
Amanda was not sure what Lee meant. All he said was 'he did it ...I was in the tree and I heard him.' She jumped into the Agency car, shouting to Francine what had happened and where she was going and sped off after Lee.
Lee burst threw the door of Blackthorne's office with gun drawn. Telling Blackthorne he knew what happened, he wanted to hear Blackthorne admit he was responsible for his parents' death. This man standing before him admittedly frightened Blackthorne. He tried to explain what happened. Yes, he did steal the money but he did not cause the accident. He was merely trying to discredit them. That's why he filed the reports with the CIA. Lee was not to be dissuaded.
"I was there I heard you...now I want you to admit it." The cold-blooded look in Lee's eyes told Blackthorne that he had no choice. Trying to reach some sort of compromise, he asked, "If I tell you what you want to know, will you let me walk out of here?"
"Sure, " Lee said calmly. "Your assassin missed his target today and the Secret Service are not far behind me so, if you want to get out of here you better start talking."
"But you said if I told you everything, you'd let me walk away," Blackthorne protested.
Taking aim, Lee coldly uttered, "I lied."
Blackthorne started babbling about the information Lee's parents had gathered on him. He tried to explain but as he spoke, Lee's vision began to blur again as the effects of the drugs came over him. He shook his head trying to clear his mind and eyes. Blackthorne saw his opening and reached into his drawer for the loaded automatic. Pulling the gun out of the drawer, he aimed it at Lee.
Seeing what was happening, Amanda, who had been standing in the doorway, grabbed a plate from a display on the wall and threw it with all her might. The crash as it hit the wall brought Lee's head up with a start and seeing Blackthorne standing before him with a gun pointed at his chest, Lee quickly fired. As Blackthorne fell to the floor, the papers he was holding along with his gun went flying into the air. Lee's arm fell straight to his side. Amanda approached him and quickly put her arms around him thankful he hadn't been shot. Lee placed his arm around her waist and pulled her close. He had not taken his eyes of Blackthorne. The look of utter despair on his face had Amanda concerned. Finally after a brief moment he quietly said, "Amanda, the monster has a face."
Chapter 14
Francine and one of the Agency's back-up teams had arrived shortly after that. Amanda had been able to get Lee to leave the room, but he had not spoken another word. He seemed to be in a trance and she wasn't sure if what he was experiencing was because of the drug he had used or because of the emotional turmoil he had encountered over the past few days. She knew they needed to get back to the Agency so they could be debriefed. Upon arriving at the Agency, they had been separated, a normal procedure in the debriefing process. Amanda quickly gave her statements and left to find Lee. She entered the observation room and looked at him through the two-way mirror. Billy was there and initially Amanda had not seen him. Her concern was focused totally on Lee.
"Amanda," he said gently. "I'm sorry about all this. I didn't realize how much it meant to Lee. I'm sorry I was so rough on you two."
"No sir, there's no need to apologize. How's he doing?" Amanda was shocked to find that Lee's expression had changed little from the time he'd shot Blackthorne.
"Well, he's responding to the questions he's being asked, but..." Billy wasn't sure if he should continue. "He just isn't responding normally. I've called Pfaff to come down and observe him." Billy was concerned. The only time Lee looked at the agent administering his debriefing was when he mentioned Amanda's name.
"Sir, I think there's something you should know." Amanda wanted Billy to know about the vile of Promazipam Lee had 'borrowed.' "Lee..uh..we took a vile of Promazipam from the drug dispensary. Lee wanted to use it to help him find out more about the dream he was having regarding his parents." Expecting another reprimand, Amanda hung her head.
"Amanda, I know about the drug. I'm not happy about two of my agents waltzing in here and helping themselves to the drug dispensary but I understand."
"Sir, do you think that's what is causing Lee to react this way?" She needed to know whether or not she should have fought him harder about using it in the first place.
"Amanda, this isn't your fault. Lee is an adult and makes his own decisions. I don't think is has anything to do with the drug, though. In all the literature we have, there is no mention of this type of reaction."
Just as Billy finished his sentence, Pfaff entered the room. He had been observing Lee from another room. He had also reviewed Amanda's account of the past several days. With this information and based on Lee's personality profile, Pfaff agreed with Billy that the drug was not causing this reaction. "I think he's just shut down so he doesn't have to deal with the pain of his parents' death again. He's never really mourned their death. Having all this brought out into the open has reopened those old wounds. Until he allows himself to mourn their death, he's not going to get past it."
"But how does he do that? I mean, his parents died thirty years ago. He was just a little boy. How does a child grieve for his parents? I know Lee went to live with his uncle right after his parents were killed," Amanda said as she was trying to figure out a way to help him.
"That's part of the problem," Pfaff continued. "From everything he's ever told me about his youth, which by the way isn't much, his uncle provided him with a roof over his head and three meals a day. But that's about all. Lee didn't have the opportunity to grieve. No one was able to guide him through that. I imagine the uncle mourned in his own way, but I'm really sure how close he and Lee's father were."
Amanda shuttered at the thought of the sad little boy whose life had been turned upside down with no one to offer him comfort. She knew deep down that the Colonel loved Lee and in turn Lee loved the Colonel although he probably would never admit it. But they did not have the opportunity to allow that relationship to develop. The Colonel was involved in his military duties and Lee was so hurt he wasn't able to trust anyone else with his heart. As tears welled up in her eyes, she knew that Lee had finally opened his heart to her. He had admitted to her that he loved her, and Amanda knew it was true. She also knew she would do whatever it took to bring him back.
"So sir, what do we need to do for him?" Amanda asked. Billy smiled at her knowing how much Lee meant to her. If anyone could help Lee it would be Amanda.
"Well," Pfaff said, "I think he just needs to break through that emotional barrier he's erected. Loss has been the constant in his life as he sees it. That has blinded him to all the good that has come his way."
Billy nodded knowingly. Lee had suffered many losses since he'd known him. The loss of his partner had almost taken him down completely. Billy marveled at the constitution of this man. He was able to pick himself up so many times. It seemed to take him longer after each loss, however. Billy had seen something change in Lee when Amanda came into his life. There was a calmness that settled over him. Sure, he fought Billy tooth and nail sometimes when he asked Lee to work with Amanda. She was tenacious, too. No matter how much Lee tried to push her away, Amanda hung in there. Billy had seen her hurt several times by Lee's harsh words. But she always seemed to forgive him no matter what. Lee had come to rely on her more and more. Amanda's voice brought him back to the present.
"Sir, if it's okay and Lee's done with his debriefing, I'd like to take him home. He's had a pretty rough couple of days."
"I think I should try and talk with him to see..." Pfaff was cut off by Amanda's protest.
"Sir, if you don't mind my saying so, I don't think Lee is going to open up to you, at least not right now."
"I believe Amanda's right, Pfaff. He's not in any danger to himself or to anyone else, right?"
Pfaff nodded, "But I think he needs professional help."
"Sir, I promise to call you tomorrow if he's not any better. But, I'd like to have a chance to try and reach him."
Amanda knew she had more information than either Pfaff or Billy that might help Lee. Besides, they didn't know how deep her love for Lee really ran.
"All right, Pfaff conceded, "but you call me if he becomes more unresponsive."
Amanda's thank you was barely heard as she raced out of the room towards Lee.
Chapter 15
Amanda and Lee arrived at his apartment. She helped him inside and asked if he was hungry. She could see he was exhausted.
"Look, why don't you go take a shower and change clothes? I'll make us something to eat and then maybe we can talk."
"Yeah," was his only reply.
While Lee was in the shower, Amanda decided to call the Colonel. She wasn't sure why, but she thought he deserved to know the circumstances involving his brother's death. She left a brief message on his answering machine and asked that he call Lee or her if he had any questions. Next, she called her mother to explain that she may not be home tonight. She was staying with a friend who was having a little trouble right now. Assuring her mother that everything was okay, she hung up the phone and set about finding something for dinner.
As she was setting the table, Lee came into the kitchen wearing jeans and a polo shirt. She was glad to see him looking somewhat less frazzled than before.
"Hope you like BLT's. That's about all I could find to fix."
He smiled at her and she took that as a sign that he might be willing to talk with her. They ate dinner in a companionable silence. Amanda watched him as he ate. She could see he was trying to make sense of all this in his mind. After clearing the dishes from the table, she reached down to take his hand and pulled him from his chair. "Do you want to talk about it?" she asked quietly.
They settled themselves on the couch and she waited. After what seemed like an eternity, Lee finally spoke. "I thought I'd feel different."
"What do you mean/"?
"I thought if I was able to find out what happened to my parents and avenge their deaths, I'd feel better. I don't," he flatly stated.
"Lee," she said softly, "maybe you think what you did today was wrong." He looked at her, really looked at her for the first time since they had arrived at the apartment. "Maybe you think by killing Blackthorne, you could have your parents back."
"Amanda that's crazy. They been dead for thirty years," he said harshly.
Amanda cringed slightly for having upset him but at least he had some reaction. That was better than anything from earlier this afternoon.
"Lee, I know these last couple of days have been pretty rough for you. You were so young when your parents died..."
Lee cut her off before she could finish. "Amanda, I don't need you pity." He started to get up from the couch but she put her hand on his arm to restrain him.
"I'm not here to pity you. I think you've done enough of that for both of us." She knew her words were harsh but she had to make him understand.
His head snapped up at her words. "Do you have any idea what it was like for me? I was only five years old. Not only did I lose my parents, I had to move across the country to live with a man I didn't even know."
"No, I don't know how hard it was for you. No one does because you never talk about it. You think by keeping it all inside that it will be less painful. But has that worked? Has it been any less painful?"
"Talking about it is not going to bring back my mother and father. What good will it do?"
"You're right, it's not going to bring them back, but it will allow you to go on and get past the pain and the hurt. It will also let you remember the goods times. Lee, I know you were little when your parents died and you may not have had too many memories, but, did you know that when you mention them, all you ever say is that you were five when they died."
Lee started to reply but thought about what Amanda said.
Amanda watched him as he considered what she'd said. She didn't want to push him too hard because she knew he would instinctively close her out. That was how he had been able to deal with all the suffering in his life. It was necessary for him to release all the pain and hurt.
She gently reached out to touch his arm. "Lee, you may think what happened today didn't really change things but it did."
He looked at her in confusion. "Amanda, nothing changed. I shot the man who was responsible for my parents' death before he could shot me. That's all that happened."
"No it's not. Think about it. What you did today. You stopped an assassin from taking another man's life. And do you know what else?"
Lee simply shook his head not quite knowing where she was going with this discussion.
"You kept another little boy from losing his father."
She let those words sink in before continuing.
Lee's eyes met hers. She tightened her hold on his arm.
"Bet you didn't know that Sinclair has a five year old son."
"No, I didn't."
"So, you agree some good came out of today's unfortunate episode, right?"
Again she let the words register with him. She could see dealing with all this was hard for him. Wanting to give him some time and space she asked, "Would you like a glass of wine?"
He nodded slightly still deep in thought.
Amanda went into the kitchen to try and pull herself together. She believed she was making progress but she wasn't sure what her next step should be. As she poured the red wine into the glasses, she suddenly had an idea. Picking up the glasses, she made her way back to the couch and sat down beside Lee.
"Here you go," she said handing him the glass of wine.
"Lee, I want to tell you a story," she said as began drawing small circles on his thigh. When I was sixteen, my father died."
"Amanda, you don't have to do this," Lee whispered softly.
"I know, but I want to. I had just turned sixteen and was on top of the world. My dad took me to get my driver's license. He was so proud of me. I remember how he hugged me when they gave me the paper saying I had passed. We went to celebrate and he even let me drive." She smiled at the memory. "It was the beginning my junior year in school and now I would be able to drive. I thought I had the world by the tail. Every time Daddy had an errand to run, he would ask me if I wanted to go with him and he would let me drive. I thought at the time he was being so sweet, but I suspect he really wanted to make sure that I could handle the car in all the traffic.
One afternoon Mother and I went shopping. I needed a dress for the Halloween Dance. We spent hours looking and finally found the dress of my dreams. I was certain I would look like a real-life Cinderella in it." As the memories rushing back, Amanda stopped drawing in a calming breath.
"Mother and I returned home late that afternoon. I couldn't wait to go upstairs and try it on to model it for my dad. I never got the chance. As I raced upstairs, Mother went into the kitchen. I heard her scream and ran back downstairs. There in the middle of the kitchen was my dad on the floor. Mother was leaning over him calling his name but he didn't respond. I called 911 and the ambulance arrived a short time later. They worked on him for about twenty minutes before taking him to the hospital. When we arrived, the emergency room doctors were still working on him trying to revive him. After twenty more minutes, they gave up. He was gone."
Amanda paused for a moment and Lee placed an arm around her shoulder to comfort her. His eyes welled up with unshed tears. He wanted nothing more than to take away her pain.
"Amanda, no," Lee whispered wanting her to stop.
"That was it..no warning, no nothing. He had been in good health. But he suffered a massive heart attack and died. The only possible blessing was that he died suddenly and suffered very little. I couldn't believe it. I mean, he was alive and smiling as he kissed me before we left to go shopping and now he was dead. Mother and I both were in a daze. I think that's pretty much how anybody gets through these things. After his funeral, I didn't want to do anything. All I could think about was the fact that my Daddy was gone. You hafta understand, he was the most important man in my life, at that time. In his eyes, I could do no wrong. Well, except for the time I hid Debby Ann McCabbie in our attic. He wasn't too pleased with that." Amanda laughed thinking about his reaction when he found out what she had done. After the thoughts passed, she turned serious again. "No matter what I did, he believed in me. When I messed up, he was always there to help me find the silver lining," she paused for a moment and smiled at Lee, "just like someone else I know."
"It came time for the dance and Mother kept insisting I go. I couldn't believe she really meant it. How could I go to the dance and have a good time? I had just lost my father. Of course, I didn't realize that Mother was suffering too. After all, she had just lost her life's companion. But I couldn't see that. All I could feel was my pain and the loss I felt. We had a big argument and I said some pretty harsh things to her." That had not been one of Amanda's finest moments. "Much to Mother's dismay, I didn't go to the dance. I stayed home and sulked."
"The holidays that year were awful. I couldn't understand how the world could be 'merry and bright' when I was feeling anything but. Our Christmas wasn't very merry. Everything about Christmas reminded me of my dad - trimming the tree, building snowmen, Christmas caroling. We shared all of these things as a family and now, he was gone. And I didn't know how to go on with my life without him." Again Amanda paused as if to steel herself against the painful memories. Tears slid slowly down her cheeks and Lee felt horribly inadequate at that moment. He wanted nothing more than to take away her pain. He wished it were as easy as simply wiping away the tears. Little did he realize that silent tears streaked down his own face.
Having regained her composure, Amanda began again. "The New Year came and went and I still was unable to deal with the loss of my father. I lost interest in many of the things at school and just barely made passing grades. Mother was growing more and more concerned."
"The mid-winter Homecoming Dance coincided with Valentines Day that year and I was chosen as a candidate for Queen. That was the last thing on my mind. Mother again insisted that I go to the dance. I had the dress we'd bought last fall that I never had worn. I tried to refuse again but Mother put her foot down. 'Amanda,' she said, 'you come down here right now. We need to have a talk.'
Amanda smiled as she thought back on that very one-sided conversation.
"She told me how selfish I was being. She told me I had sulked long enough and it was time to get with my life. I couldn't believe she was talking to me that way. The pain I was feeling and overcome by the deep sense of loss I felt blinded me. Because of that, I was unable to see that Mother was also suffering. But I felt she was being terribly hurtful so I stormed out of the house."
"After walking aimlessly around the neighborhood, I began to think about what she had said. I realized that maybe she was right - I had been selfish so I finally gathered up the courage to return home. I spent so long dwelling on the fact that he was gone. All I could feel was the pain I felt I knew I had been unfair to Mother and needed to apologize to her. When I got home, she was waiting in the den. I told her how sorry I was and before long we were both in tears. I told her how I felt about losing Daddy and she told me she felt the same way. We held on to each other for a long time grieving for this very special man. After a while we stopped crying and simply sat there holding onto each other. Mother tipped up my chin so I could see her face and said, 'Amanda, do you think your father would want either of us to be this unhappy? Think about all the many happy memories you have of your Daddy. You should keep those in here, she said, tapping lightly on my chest. You know what I think? I think he would want you to go to that dance tonight and make him proud when you are crowned the Homecoming Queen. You know, he'll be there, waiting to see you in that dress. You look so beautiful in it.' I knew right then that Mother was right so I went upstairs and jumped into the shower to get ready for the dance."
Silence settled over the room, as Amanda was lost in her own thoughts. Lee sat quietly watching her not quite knowing what to do. He longed to gather her in his arms and offer what comfort he could but she seemed to be in her own world for the moment so he simply watched her. As Amanda's thoughts pulled her back to the present, she knew she needed to go forward. She had come this far in hopes of helping Lee and she could not turn back now. All she could hope for is that her story would help him find the courage to face the tragedy of his parents' death.
Finally breaking the silence, Amanda sat up and turned to Lee. "Do you understand what I've been trying to tell you? Lee, you need to let go of the pain. Don't think about all the hurt you've suffered. Just allow yourself to grieve for the parents you lost." She looked deeply into his eyes.
He wasn't sure what happened or when it happened, but he knew the minute Amanda's eyes locked with this that they were looking straight into his soul, begging him listen to her. Whether it was her words or the way she looked at him, he didn't know, but it was as if he had finally been given permission to grieve the death of his parents. Silently tears began to roll down his face. Amanda reached forward and wrapped her arms around him letting her nearness comfort him. There were no more words to be said, just two people drawing comfort from each other. They sat there for the longest time, both lost in their own thoughts. Amanda smiled knowing that Lee would be okay. Pulling back slightly from his embrace, she looked lovingly into his eyes. She was smiling at him. There was no judgment marring her features, she saw no weakness in his tears. What he saw staring back at him was the face of his Garden Angel.
"Oh Amanda, I love you " he whispered as he gathered her into his arms. "You have given me so much. I don't deserve you. How can I ever thank you?"
She gently pulled back from his embrace and ran her fingers through his hair. Using her thumbs, she gently wiped away the tears from his face as she tenderly kissed him on the cheek. "Well," she smiled coyly, "you can begin by telling me about your parents. I want to hear about the adventures of little Lee Stetson."
He laughed. It felt so good to laugh. Gathering her against him, she leaned her head on his shoulder as he began telling her about things he could remember. Once he got started, he talked for over an hour. He told her as many things as he could remember. He talked about his dad and how much they enjoyed viewing family pictures. Lee was so proud of his father and his favorite picture was one of his dad in his Army uniform. He talked about his mother's gentleness. He remembered her drinking tea from her collection of very fine porcelain teacups. He even told her about Miss Louise.
"My, I haven't thought about her in...well, I can't even remember when. She was the best. She wasn't just my babysitter. She was my pal. She played games with me and she was one of the best cowboys I've ever known. You know, she was the one who told me about my parents."
Lee grew quiet as he remembered their conversation. It felt good to be able to share glimpses of his early life with Amanda
"Lee, it's okay to feel sad," she gently reminded him. "What happened to her?"
"Well, I'm not sure. We wrote to each other for a while after I moved to California. But since we moved so many times going from base to base, I guess we lost track of each other. I know her husband came back from Korea long before he was supposed to. I think, somehow the Colonel, had a hand in that."
Quietness settled over them again. It was very late and now that Amanda felt Lee was going to be okay, she said, "Well, I guess I'd better be going." She felt Lee's arms tighten around her and she felt regret.
"Amanda," he said quietly looking into her eyes. Don't go, please. Stay with me tonight."
She couldn't refuse the pleading look in his eyes. "Okay," she simply replied.
His face lit up and he gathered her into his arms. He hadn't really expected her to stay but he was eternally grateful that she had agreed.
"Thanks. I just don't...I didn't want to be alone tonight," he said shyly.
"I'll be happy to stay, that is, only if you can find me something to sleep in," she said as she swept her hand over her skirt.
Pulling her up from the couch, he said, "I think I can find something." He led her into the bedroom and began to rummage through his drawers. He found a tee shirt and a pair of sweats that he never wore anymore because they shrank the first time they were washed. "Here you go. Why don't you go ahead and take the bathroom first."
While Amanda was in the bathroom, Lee gathered a set of sheets and blanket from his closet and took them into the living room. He figured he would allow Amanda the privacy of the bedroom and he would sleep on the couch. He realized for the first time how exhausted he really was. He chuckled to himself that he could probably fall asleep standing up.
Amanda came out of the bathroom and began hanging up her clothes. If she was going to have to wear them twice, the least she could do was hang them up so they wouldn't be so wrinkled. She went into the kitchen to get a drink of water and saw the makeshift bed. After getting her water, she made her way back into the bedroom and climbed into bed. Lee came out of the bathroom a few moments later and looked over at her with some regret. What he really wanted was to climb into bed and simply hold her. He was too tired to do anything else. "Night, Amanda," he said as he headed into the living room.
"Hey, where do you think you're going? You invite a girl to spend the night and this is how you treat her," she chuckled. "Come on Stetson, get into this bed," she said as she held the covers up for him to climb in.
Lee hesitated. He didn't want anything to ruin this evening. Tonight they had grown closer to each other. But neither of them was ready to take their relationship to the next step. She did, however, look so inviting lying there in his bed.
"Lee."
That was all it took. He crossed the short space and climbed into bed. "Amanda, I promise, I won't do anything. Besides, I'm too tired to even think about doing anything. I just want you near to me."
Gently she caressed his face. "I trust you completely. It has been a pretty exhausting day. All I want right now is to be near you, too. Lee, will you let me hold you, please?"
His smile told her all she needed to know. She gathered him into her arms and she settled against the hard contours of his chest. A sigh escaped from her lips. This just felt so right.
Just as she was about to drift off, she heard Lee ask, "So were you crowned the Homecoming Queen?"
"Of course," she smiled. She gently reached up to brush the hair back from his eyes. As her hands ran through his hair, he smiled drifting off to sleep and said, "My Garden Angel."
Chapter 16
Amanda awoke early the next morning. She was nestled against the solid form of Lee's chest and his arm was wrapped around her. She thought to herself, 'I could wake up like this every morning for the rest of my life.' Not wanting to disturb Lee, she quietly disengaged herself from his arm and slipped out of bed. She went into the bathroom to change clothes. Before leaving, she silently kissed his forehead as she gently brushed back the hair from his face. He smiled in his sleep and her heart melted.
Amanda arrived at home in time to get breakfast for the boys and send them out the door to school. She briefly told Dotty about the previous evening and how she was able to help a friend deal with a very difficult memory. Dotty smiled knowingly at her daughter. "I'm very proud of you Amanda. You always know the right words to say. I hope your friend will be okay now."
"I believe he'll be just fine, Mother. Thank you for being here for me, Mother. I don't think you know what it means to me to have you here."
Amanda arrived at the Agency and discovered Lee had not arrived yet. She wondered if he had been upset this morning when he awoke and realized she was gone. She decided to call his apartment and got no answer. She decided to drive over to his apartment just to make sure he was okay. On her way over, she passed a cemetery. She wasn't sure what made her pull in but she did so. Driving through the gates, she spotted Lee's Corvette. Parking behind him, she left the Jeep with the flowers she had picked that morning. She approached Lee watching him intently, trying to read his mood. He was standing before the graves of his parents.
"Hi," she said softly. "When I didn't find you at the Agency, I called your apartment. I was on my way over when I thought you might be here." She held out the flowers and said, "I grew these in the garden."
Lee smiled softly at her. "They're very nice. You know, I haven't been here in a long time. It just seemed easier to stay away." He looked longingly at the graves.
"Well, I leave you here..."
"No," he said reaching out to take her arm. "I just wish you could have known them," he said shyly.
Amanda looked deeply into his eyes and smiled saying, "I think I do."
He gathered her into his arms and hugged her tightly. After a while, he said, "Would you like to get some coffee?"
"Love to."
They arrived at the coffee shop and sat in a corner booth. "Amanda," he began, "I want...well...um...thank you for everything you did yesterday. I'm sorry you had to relive your father's death, but I'm glad you did because it made me feel...it was like...it helped. I guess nobody ...well. I can remember wanting them to come back. I begged and pleaded and made promise after promise, but to no avail. Nobody listened. After that, I guess I just shut down. It was easier not to feel anything at all than to feel the pain of losing them. I lost everything that night - my parents, my house, Miss Louise, everything that ever meant anything to me. That is until now. Now I have everything I'll ever need." He took her hand in his and gently rubbed his thumb across her knuckles. "What did I ever do to deserve you, Amanda King?" He brought her hand up to his lips and kissed it lightly.
"Oh, I guess you were just in the right place at the right time," she said smiling at him.
He returned her smile and they sat there for a few moments in silence. It was Lee who first broke the silence.
"Guess what," he asked?
"What?"
"I got a call today from the Colonel."
Amanda wasn't sure what to think. With all that had happened, she hadn't mentioned to Lee that she had called the Colonel. Wondering if he was upset with her, she cautiously asked, "And?"
The look he gave her told her she was off the hook. "Well, it appears someone called the Colonel to tell him about Blackthorne. We talked about it for a while this morning. It helped to clear up a lot of things for both of us. The Colonel wasn't really surprised. He told me he thought their accident was too convenient given their line of work. Anyway, to make a long story short, he told me he had kept the boxes of stuff from my parents' house and that if I wanted them, he would send them to me. I told him that I thought I was finally ready to go through them."
Lee looked a little frightened and Amanda reached over to lay her hand on his arm. "Hey, they'll be happy memories because you let go of the pain."
A quick smile formed on his lips but quickly faded. "Uh..Amanda..." He looked down at his empty cup of coffee as if it held the answer to his question. "Will you...I mean...when they arrive, will you go through them with me?"
"Oh Lee, I'd be honored."
With her assurance that she would be by his side, Lee's face again brightened. "Uh...I guess we'd better get to the office before Billy sends out a search party." Standing and throwing some bills down on the table he reached out for Amanda's hand. They walked in silence to their cars and headed to the office.
Chapter 17
Several days later, Lee and Amanda were busy in the Q-Bureau finishing up paperwork on several cases they had recently completed before quitting for the weekend. Amanda's family was away for the evening and she and Lee planned to have dinner. As Lee finished reviewing the last of their reports, the phone rang. It was Mrs. Marsten informing the Scarecrow that several trunks had been delivered downstairs with his name on them. Lee was perplexed. "Trunks," he asked?
"Yes, or should I say footlockers - they are from a Colonel Robert Clayton. Are you planning to remove them from my office soon? This is not your storage area you know," she said menacingly.
"Yes, Mrs. Marsten, I'll be down to move them shortly." Hanging up the phone, he simply stared down at his desk.
"Lee, is everything okay?" Amanda asked tenderly.
Hearing her voice shook him out of his trance. "Yeah, everything's fine. There are two footlockers downstairs that the Colonel had delivered here. I need to remove them from Mrs. Marsten's office."
"You're not going to bring them up here are you? I mean...well, I have the Jeep and if you want, we can load them into the Jeep and take them to your apartment. We're finished here anyway aren't we?"
Lee laughed and nodded. He knew neither of them would get any more work done so they might as well call it quits. They finished up their reports and gathered jackets, keys and her purse and headed out the door. As they reached the bottom of the steps, they ran into Leatherneck.
"Say, Leatherneck, you got a minute? I need some help here, if you don't mind. I need to load these things into Amanda's Jeep and I wondered if you could give me a hand."
"I'll be happy to, Scarecrow," Leatherneck said. "What is all this stuff anyway? Are you runnin' away from home?"
Lee stopped dead in his tracks and looked over at Amanda. "No, I'm runnin' towards home."
It took some maneuvering but the trunks were finally loaded into the Jeep and Lee and Amanda were headed toward his apartment. Upon their arrival, the doorman helped Lee carry the trunks from the car into the elevator. Before long, the trunks were sitting in the middle of Lee's apartment. He sat on the couch staring at them and Amanda stood by the window watching him.
"Are you okay? I mean, are you ready to do this?" she asked softly.
He didn't answer; he just sat there staring at the trunks.
"Lee," she said as she walked over to stand behind him. Placing her hands on his shoulders, she asked again, "Are you ready for this? It may be difficult, but there's nothing in there that can hurt you. They are only things, but they are things you shared with your parents. Maybe whatever is in there will help you remember more of the good times you had as a child. Those memories can replace the painful memories you've held onto for so long."
Taking a deep breath, Lee let out a sigh. "Yeah, I guess you're right." He got up and walked over to the first trunk. He chuckled and said, "Now all we have to do is get into them." He was holding a padlock in his hand. Grabbing a lock pick from his pocket, he made quick work of the lock. "Well, here goes," he said as he lifted the lid of the box.
Lee looked into the trunk and quickly looked up at Amanda. At the same time, he held out his hand to her, needing to feel the comfort of her closeness. She joined him and looked into the box. A lifetime of treasures lay within it. On top was a photo album. Lee opened it and stared at the pictures filling the pages. It contained pictures of his parents when they first met he assumed because several of them were taken in London. He found their wedding pictures and even some of his baby pictures.
Closing the album, he reached in for the next item. It was a box carefully taped. He cut open the tape and opened the box. In it he found his mother's prized porcelain teacup collection. He remembered the countless times he had seen her drink from these cups. He continued through the trunk finding his father's military ribbons telling Amanda how he asked his father time and time again to explain each of the ribbons and their significance. Lee began pulling things out of the trunk faster and faster as the memories washed over him. Next was an autographed baseball he had gotten when his dad took him to see the Washington Senators play the Yankees. More albums and pictures were nestled in the bottom of the trunk. The remaining item was a small, velvet covered box. Lee reverently picked it up and carefully opened in. Inside were the wedding rings of his mother and father. He gingerly lifted his mother's ring out of the box and gazed at it. Turning it over he saw the inscription inside - it simply said 'Forever, Matthew.' Looking at his father's ring, he found a similar inscription, 'Forever, Jennifer.' Lee's hand closed over the rings and he sat back against the sofa. Holding the rings tightly in his hand, he could feel the love they represented. Amanda said nothing but tenderly ran her hand up and down his arm.
Placing the rings back in their box, he sighed.
"What s it Lee?" Amanda asked.
"This is all so overwhelming. I mean...for thirty years, the only tangible thing I had from my parents was the pain of their deaths. Now, all this..." His voice trailed off as his hand swept over the contents of the trunk displayed around his living room. He looked at Amanda and smiled softly. "You were right, you know. All this stuff is bringing back a lot of good memories."
"I'm glad," she said smiling back at him. "Would you like to take a break? I could whip something up in the kitchen if you like. That is, provided you have any food in the frig."
Together they prepared dinner and ate while they talked more about Lee's childhood. After cleaning up the dishes, it was time to open the second trunk. Lee expertly opened it in the same fashion as before. Opening the box, he laughed at the first thing he saw.
"What is it?" Amanda asked coming over to join him on the couch.
"This is Chaz! Chaz, meet Amanda." Chuckling, Lee handed Amanda the worn and somewhat ratty looking teddy bear. Amanda reached out and tenderly took the bear in her hands. "He was my best buddy when I was little. He went everywhere with me. I remember one night he was lost and I couldn't go to sleep without him. No matter what my parents did, I refused to go to sleep." Looking somewhat embarrassed, Lee continued. "I cried for hours until my dad thought to look in the car. We had gone out that night and I apparently left poor Chaz all alone in the car. Boy, was I ever glad to see him when my dad brought him in. I guess they were pretty glad too, because I finally stopped crying and went right off to sleep." Lee chuckled as Amanda made the little bear dance on her leg.
"Yeah, I remember a time when Jamie lost his favorite blanket. There was nothing we could do to calm him down. We had to call Mother and have her bring it over to our house so we could get him to sleep."
Lee found some books and records next. "Amanda, do you know what these are?" he asked excitedly.
"Yeah, they're 78's, the old records. My mother has a collection of a lot of the Big Bands."
"Yeah, I remember my parents dancing to these." He paused for a moment as his slender fingers traced over the platter.
Amanda looked at him and knew he was reliving a tender moment. She could tell by the look on his face.
"These were the lullabies I listened to as a baby. My dad told me that he and my mom danced to these while she was pregnant and they found that these records had a very calming effect on me. I can remember my mom humming along with the records while she rocked me to sleep."
"Oh Lee, that's so sweet. I guess that why you like to dance to these now, huh?"
"Yeah," he answered simply but he didn't reveal that the real reason he liked dancing to any tune was the fact that it meant he could hold Amanda in his arms.
Lee noticed something shiny in the box and he reached in to pull it out. In his hand he found a somewhat tarnished six-pointed sheriff's badge. He grinned as he turned the badge over in his hand. "Miss Louise brought this to me. She appointed me the sheriff of Washington and told me it was my job to get rid of all the bad guys. She brought this the night my parents were killed." He paused losing himself in the memory. "She was helping me get dressed for my parents' funeral and I asked her if it was okay to wear the badge. She pinned it to my suit telling me that it was fine."
"She must have been a very special lady," Amanda said putting her arm around his shoulder.
Nodding Lee again reached into the trunk and he pulled out something wrapped in plastic. Carefully he unwrapped the package and gasped when he saw what was contained within. On his lap lay an American and British flag both folded into a triangle. He tentatively reached out almost as if he were afraid to touch them. As his fingers made contact, they gently caressed the fabric.
"These flags covered their caskets," he said solemnly. "At the funeral, they presented them to me in military fashion." A look of pain passed over his face. He then smiled and continued. "I remember saluting the officer after he placed them in my arms. My dad taught me how to salute when we talked about his time in the war." After pausing for a moment, he said, "I think I'd like to display these, you know in those special cases they have. What do you think, Amanda?"
"I think it would be a marvelous idea," she said as she squeezed his arm. "How about a break? Would you like some desert? I think there is still some of that chocolate cake I baked you."
After sharing cake and coffee, Lee was drawn back to the remaining contents of the box. He was amazed to find mementos of his youth that the Colonel had apparently saved. He found a small trophy from the one summer he'd spent on a little league team. There were also a couple of fishing lures he and the Colonel used during their fishing trips. He also found many pictures including one of him proudly standing beside his first car - an old military jeep.
While Amanda was enjoying looking at the pictures of Lee as a teenager, he was examining with the last item in the box. It was a packet of letters bound by a rubber band. These were letters he discovered from Miss Louise. Apparently Barney or the Colonel, he wasn't sure which, had saved the letters Miss Louise sent to him. He took one letter out of its yellowed envelope and carefully unfolded it. As the memory of the words washed over him, he smiled remembering how excited he had been to receive her first letter. It was in this letter that she told him about her husband, William, coming home and how happy she was to have him home safe and sound.
Lee sat on the couch holding the packet of letters in his hand. He was overwhelmed that so many of the things he had uncovered triggered such vivid memories. Setting the letters aside he stood and began to walk around the room stopping briefly to reexamine the treasures contained within the two trunks. These things were all part of his early life, a part he had tried so hard to forget because of the pain that accompanied the memories. Amanda watched Lee not knowing what to say. He didn't seen upset so she decided to let him have some space to work through the emotional confusion he was facing. Quietly she began straightening up the mess they had made by replacing some of the items back into the trunk. When she picked up the packet of letters, she made a mental note of the address and name. Maybe there was something else she could do for Lee.
"Amanda...Amanda," he said again when she didn't answer the first time. "Hey, I'm supposed to be the one who's speechless," he chuckled.
"Sorry," she returned his laughter. "What did you want?"
"Nothing, I was just thinking...it might be nice to uh spend some time...with the Colonel, you know, to see how he's doing and well, maybe to talk about some of this stuff. What do you think?"
Rising and crossing over to him, Amanda rested her hand on his arm. "I think that would be a wonderful idea."
Lee smiled down at her. "Yeah, I think so too." He gently pulled her into his arms and hugged her tightly. Pulling back slightly, he said, "Hey, I want to thank you for helping me with this. It probably would have been a lot harder without you here. I'm glad you were here so I could bend your ear." He hugged her again.
"My pleasure. Besides, I enjoyed hearing about your childhood. And since I'm the one who usually does most of the talking, it was good to have a night off." She laughed at the look on his face. "Lee, it is getting awfully late and I probably should get home before Mother becomes too worried.
Chapter 18
A few weeks had passed since the Blackthorne case. The paperwork had been completed and filed away. Lee was cleared of any improprieties. Still, Amanda was puzzled by something. She wasn't sure if she should bring it up but it needled at her more and more each day. Lee seemed to be dealing with the death of his parents and now felt comfortable sharing with Amanda little things he remembered about them and his short time with them. She decided to bring it up one evening while they were having dinner. Depending upon his reaction, she would decide whether or not to pursue the issue.
"Why don't we go to Dooley's," Lee asked as they were leaving the Agency. Dooley's had become one of his favorite places since she had introduced it to him during the case where her ex-husband had been accused of killing the Prime Minister of Estocia. Lee liked the relaxed atmosphere and the pizza but his favorite was the jukebox. It was such a diversity of styles and genre. He could spend a fortune and never grow tired of hearing the songs it played.
They sat in comfortable silence having shared a pizza and salad. Lee lightly held one of Amanda's hands in his absent- mindedly drawing small circles with his thumb. He looked up at her face and she seemed a million miles away.
"A penny for your thoughts," he teased.
She smiled at him. "Today, I'll cost ya a nickel."
"I think I'm good for it. Care to spill the beans?" he asked gently.
A look of concern passed over her face. She didn't want to cause him any pain. He had certainly had enough to deal with in recent weeks.
Now Lee was growing concerned. He'd seen the look that passed over Amanda's face. "Amanda, what is it? Please. Tell me."
"Well, I don't want to upset you. And, you don't have to tell me it you don't want to. I mean..you.."
"Amanda," Lee asked somewhat impatiently.
"Okay, do you remember during the Blackthorne case you took the vial of Promazipam and used it to try and find out more about your dream?"
Lee nodded slowly urging her to go on.
"Well, once you went under, I began asking you questions. Remember the list of questions we came up with?"
"Yeah, I remember."
"When you went under I asked you if you were feeling all right and you said you were fine."
"Yeah." Lee was growing more apprehensive by the moment and he leaned across the table toward Amanda.
"Well, I asked you if you knew who I was and you got the sweetest look on your face; you nodded and said, My Garden Angel."
Lee jumped back toward the back of the booth. He was shocked to hear Amanda mention the Garden Angel. Then as the realization dawned on him, a slow grin spread across his face.
Amanda was amazed as she watched him. She again saw the sweetness settled over his face. Lee was starring off and seemed a million miles away.
"Lee," she whispered softly. "Why did you call me your Garden Angel?"
He smiled sweetly at her. "Because that's who you are."
Amanda waited for him to continue but he simply sat there while the grin spread over his face. She was enamored watching him. Whatever memory he was reliving, it was obviously a very pleasant one.
With a slight squeeze of her hand, Lee drew back to the present. "When I was little, I use to have nightmares. Monsters would come into my room at night and try to get me. I remember waking up crying for my parents. One night, I woke up terrified because the monsters almost got to me. My dad came into my room and picked me up and tried to calm my fears. He tried to reassure me that no monsters were in my room and that he and my mom would never let anything happen to me. He told me he would always be there to keep me safe. Because I knew he couldn't always be there for me, I asked what would happen if the monsters came and he wasn't there. My mother answered saying that if my dad couldn't be there, she would be there. Of course, quick minded as I was, even at the age of five," he smirked, "I asked what would happen if neither of them were there. See, I knew that they sometimes had to be out of town overnight. That's when I would stay with Miss Louise. My mother told me that if neither she nor Dad were available, that my Guardian Angel would be there to take care of me and keep me safe." He chuckled to himself before going on. "I guess I couldn't get the hang of Guardian Angel so I called her Garden Angel. My mother told me that all I had to do was call out to her and she would be there for me. She told me that I would know my Garden Angel was near by because I could feel the beating of her wings and feel the gentleness of her touch. She would exist for only me and she would give me comfort and love me as much as they both did.
Lee paused for a moment seeing the night in his mind as clearly as if it were happening at the very moment. "She told me I couldn't see my Garden Angel. Nobody ever got to see their Guardian Angel but she was wrong. The next night the monsters were back and I called out to her. I didn't think she was there and I cried out. Soon, my mother was by my bed trying to soothe my fears. She told me that my Garden Angel had indeed come. The next time the monsters came back, I called out to her and I could see her." Lee looked directly at Amanda and peered deeply into her eyes. "After that, the monsters never came back."
"The day after my parents were killed, Miss Louise told me what had happened. I didn't want to believe her and I ran into my parents' room and threw myself on to their bed. Miss Louise held me and we both cried. After I settled down, I remember calling out to my Garden Angel. When I did, I felt a sense of comfort settle over me. I guess that's why I never lost it completely," he sighed.
Amanda was near tears but she was still confused. "But Lee, why did you call me your Garden Angel?" she asked quietly.
Lee smiled at the revelation. He simply said, "Because the night I saw my Garden Angel, she looked exactly like you."
"Oh Lee," was all she could reply.
"You know," he said as the realization finally came to him, "I think that's what must have drawn me to you at the train station that morning. I always wondered why I picked you out of that crowd of people."
They say there in silence for several minutes. Unable to stand the silence any longer, Lee asked, "Would you like to dance?"
Nodding, Amanda got up from the booth. Lee went to the jukebox and selected a tune he thought they'd both enjoy. As he took Amanda into his arms, the song stared to play.
Recognizing the tune, Amanda looked at him shyly. "Did you play this on purpose?" She asked.
"I'll never tell," Lee laughed. "Actually, I thought maybe this could be our song, he whispered in her ear as he hugged her tightly to him and hummed along with the soulful sounds.
You are my Special Angel sent from up above
The Lord smiled down on me and sent an Angel to love.
You are My Special Angel right from Paradise.
I know that you're an angel Heaven is in your eyes.
A smile from your lips brings the Summer sunshine.
The tears from your eyes bring the rain.
I feel your touch, your warm embrace and I'm in heaven again.
You are My Special Angel through eternity.
I'll have my special angel here to watch over me.
They danced together for the next hour simply content to be in each other's arms. Lee alternated between holding Amanda comfortably against him to pulling back and looking deeply into her eyes. She was indeed his guardian angel. She had saved his life more times than he cared to recall, but it was more than that. Amanda was the one who enabled him to love again. The more he thought about his mother's words, he realized that his Garden Angel had always been by his side even when Dorothy was killed and when his partner took a bullet meant for him. Lee had suffered so many losses by that time that he had convinced himself that he no longer cared. If he didn't care, then he could no longer be hurt by loss. But in closing himself off from the world, he also closed himself off from love and the enjoyment of life. He merely went through the motions of living. It wasn't until he spotted Amanda at the train station that his life began to take on some meaning again. Amanda saw something in him refused to give up on him no matter how much he tried to push her away. Now, he couldn't imagine his life without her. He knew in his heart that he loved her but he wasn't sure if he was willing to take that next step and risk possibly losing her. Without his Garden Angel, he knew he couldn't survive. He didn't want to think about that possibility so he simply held her close and continued to dance until Dooley's closed.
Chapter 19
Lee was busy working on a case and spent most of the next week out of the office following leads and meeting with contacts trying to develop new leads. Amanda remained in the office researching the leads Lee found but to no avail. She did however use their separation to her advantage. She used her agency clearance to try and find out if Louise Ratcliff was still alive and if so where she was located. Her search finally hit pay dirt and she was delighted to learn that Louise and William Ratcliff lived in Maryland, about two hours from DC. Now Amanda faced a dilemma. Should she tell Lee she had found his childhood friend or should she first call Louise and see if she remembered Lee. Amanda decided it was in everyone's best interest to first contact the Ratcliff's and see if indeed Louise even remembered Lee. And, if she did remember him, would she want to see him. If not, then there would be no need to tell Lee she had even found the Ratcliffs. So Amanda placed the call and hoped for the best.
After introducing herself, she explained the reason for her call. Much to her delight, Louise remembered Lee and asked how he was. She had been upset that her letters came back unopened and was sadden to think she had lost contact with the little boy she loved like her own. She asked Amanda if she thought Lee would be willing to see her because she wanted to see him see him again. Amanda told her she thought Lee would be happy to see her and so they arranged a visit.
Amanda knew the case they were working on would take them to Baltimore to check out a plastics manufacturing plant. They had a lead discovering the plant was processing more than plastic. They were also processing cocaine and shipping it within their plastic toy parts to other parts of the country. Once their suspensions were confirmed, they called in back up and the operation was busted. After filing their reports with the Baltimore office, they were ready to head back to DC. After a quick call to Billy, he told them to take the next two days off as a reward for their good work on the case.
"Well, since we have sometime and we are away from DC, why don't we do a little exploring on our own," Amanda suggested. "I know of this great little sea-side village filled with delightful shops and great restaurants. Are you game?"
"Shopping? You want to go shopping on our time off?" he asked not believing that was what she had suggested.
"I did say they had great restaurants and I believe it's only fair that you treat me to dinner. After all, I did come up with the connection between the drugs and the processing plant," she said smugly turning on her heel and heading toward the car.
Lee laughed. "Yeah, you're right..I should know by now, you're always right!"
Amanda drove and they chatted comfortably about the case and about the boys' latest activities. Pulling up in front of a delightful little cottage, Amanda stopped the car and started to get out.
"Why are we stopping here?" Lee asked.
"Oh come on now, I just need to make a brief stop to visit an old friend. It will only take a minute," she said as she grabbed his hand and pulled him out of the car.
"Amanda, why didn't you tell me you wanted to visit a friend? I could have hitched a ride back to DC with one of the other agents."
"Nonsense Lee, besides, I think you'll be very happy you came with me." She didn't give him time to respond since she was already ringing the doorbell.
A lovely woman in her early fifties answered the door. She smiled at the two visitors.
"Good afternoon, I'm Amanda King and this is..."
"Lee..Lee Stetson, oh my...I'm so happy to see you. Why, you're a spitting image of your father. Won't you come in?" she said as she ushered Amanda and a very surprised Lee into her home.
"Bill, come quickly, they're here. Oh it's so good to see you." She reached out to touch Lee's arm. Seeing the look of confusion on his face she withdrew her hand and sat down. "You don't remember me, do you?"
"I..uh..well..." Lee stuttered.
"Louise, did you call me? I saw a car pull up outside. Are they here?" he said from the other room. As he entered the living room, recognition dawned on Lee's face.
"Miss Louise..is it really you?"
"Yes, it is," she said as she gathered him into her arms. "I didn't think I'd ever see you again. I loved you so much, like you were my own son. I can't tell you how much I looked forward to your letters."
Bill chimed in, "Now I can tell you. That's all she talked about for days when she would get one of your letters. Let me tell you, son, if you had been a few years older, I'd have been mighty jealous!" They all laughed at Bill's comments.
They spent the better part of the afternoon talking about the times they shared. Amanda could tell by observing Lee that he was truly touched to be reunited with friend from childhood. They recounted the many times they played cowboys. Lee told her about his parents and what really happened to them. He told her how he had pleaded with the Colonel to try and find them after his letter was returned. Before long the afternoon passed and it was time for Lee and Amanda to head back to DC. With renewed promises to stay in touch, Amanda hugged both Bill and Louise thanking them for the lovely afternoon. Lee hugged Louise and tenderly kissed her on the cheek. Before she released him, she began to sing softly in his ear, Happy Trails to You, until we meet again. Happy Trails to You, keep smiling until then, who cares about the clouds when we're together? Just sing a song and bring the sunny weather. Happy trails to you 'till we meet again. Lee drew back with tears in his eyes. He hugged her once again before turning and heading out the door.
Noticing how quiet Lee was, Amanda tried to lighten the mood. "Well, we still have time for that shopping trip before it gets dark you know."
Lee chuckled softly. "You know, that was pretty sneaky. You tricked me."
"Yeah, but it was for your own good...wasn't it?" Amanda thought maybe she had overstepped her bounds. Maybe Lee was really going to be mad at her.
"She's a pretty special lady. I can't believe she wanted to see me. I mean, she hasn't seen me in over thirty years."
"You're right she is a very special lady. I'm glad you were able to see her again. Now you had better keep in touch with her and you'll have me to answer to," she said in a mockingly stern voice.
"I promise," he said and quickly added, "Hey, isn't it about time for that dinner I promised you. I know a great place in Baltimore that serves the best crab cakes in the world. What do you say?"
"Sounds like a plan to me. Lead on MacDuff!"
They arrived at the restaurant and took a table near the window overlooking the bay.
"It's beautiful isn't it?" Amanda said as she viewed the sunset.
"Certainly is," was Lee's whispered return but his eyes were fixed upon his beautiful woman before him. Amanda looked up and the intensity of his look caused her to blush.
"Amanda, you are really special, too. I can't believe all you've done for me lately and well ever since I've known you. You've always so giving."
Amanda was a bit flustered by Lee's compliment. "Well, Lee, that's what friends do. They are there to lend a helping hand whenever necessary. You know, you've given me a lot too. I mean, I would be here today if it weren't for you." She smiled and placed her hand over his.
"Yeah, right," he chided, "you wouldn't be putting your life in jeopardy every time we work on a case together."
"Hey it's not every case. Look at today's case. We were able to bust up their operation without one shot being fired."
He smiled. "You're right..again"
Their dinner arrived and they chatted about the case while they savored the crab cakes. After devouring several crab cakes apiece, they pushed back their plates. "Would you like some desert?" Lee asked. What he wanted for desert he knew he couldn't have, at least not right now. He wanted to pull Amanda into his arms and show her how special she really was to him.
"I hear the apple cinnamon dumplings are really good," Amanda replied. They shared the apple dumpling and then headed back to DC.
"Hey, why don't you let me drive," Lee said as he escorted her to the car. "You look pretty tired and it's a long drive back."
Amanda wasn't about to argue with him. She was tired and having completed a large dinner, she wasn't sure she would be able to stay awake all the way to DC.
She settled into the Jeep putting her seat belt on. As soon as they hit the Interstate, Amanda was asleep. Lee chuckled to himself as he looked over at her sleeping form. On the drive back to DC, he had plenty of time to think about everything that had happened in the past few weeks. His visit with the Colonel had been pleasant. They talked really for the first time in their lives. They no longer felt the animosity between them and Lee found himself telling the Colonel that he had a great deal of respect for him. He couldn't bring himself to say he loved him. Maybe all this was still too new, but he did thank the Colonel for taking him in at such a difficult time.
Then there was Amanda. He was madly in love with her. That was the plain and simple truth. He needed to let her know how much she meant to him. The events of the past several weeks made him realize how deeply he loved Amanda and needed her in his life in every way. So, what was he waiting for? Was she ready to take their relationship to the next step? Lee made up his mind on the trip home that he was gonna propose to Amanda ...soon. She was after all the most important person in the world to him. And, he now knew he didn't want to spend the rest of his life without her as a part of it. His dreams were no longer filled with nightmares. Now they were filled with visions of Amanda.
He pulled up in front of her house and shut off the car. He gently reached over to shake her shoulder.
"Hey, Sleeping Beauty, you're home." He reached out to gently tuck a strand of hair behind her ear.
"Ooo I'm sorry. I guess I wasn't much company on the way home."
"That's okay. Come on it's pretty late. Let me walk you to your door." He got out of the car and opened her door extending his hand to help her out. He pulled her close as they walked up to the house because she was still half asleep and unsteady on her feet. When they reached the door, Lee gathered Amanda into his arms and held her close. It was almost as if he didn't want to leave her company. He pulled away gently but leaned his head forward as his lips lightly brushed over hers. It was a sweet kiss and he wanted more but Amanda chose that moment to yawn. Laughter rumbled from deep within Lee's chest and he pecked her quickly on the cheek before taking her keys and opening the door for her.
"Go on, get inside before your mother comes downstairs," he said as he turned to go. "I'll swing by and pick you up in the morning, unless you want to drive me back to the Agency tonight so I can get the 'vette." Amanda yawned again.
"Kay, I'll see you in the morning," she said watching him as he walked toward the car. He turned back toward the door and whispered, Goodnight, my Garden Angel, I love you."
The End
Garden Angel by Lynn
Story Notes:
The characters belong to Warner Brothers and Shoot the Moon productions. I love these characters and the story created for them. I am just grateful be able to share my thoughts as to what might have happened in their lives. Unfinished Business was written by Lynne Kelsey. Some parts of that episode appear in this story. This story is written from the point of view that Unfinished Business took place after Stemwinder- so they have openly expressed their love for each other. The song, "My Special Angel" was written by Jimmy Duncan and sung by the Vogues.
Part I deals with Lee as a boy. Part II picks up where "Unfinished Business" begins.
Part I deals with Lee as a boy. Part II picks up where "Unfinished Business" begins.