More Justice--Part One 

4247 Maplewood Dr.

Sunday, April 15, 2001 

6:30 PM 

Jenna L. Stetson

Ms. Talbot 

English—Period One

Room 235

4/16/2001 

My heart pounded as I stood in line.  Just one more to go, I thought.  I stood there and watched as the girls ahead of me climbed into the yellow car and pulled down their harnesses—the coaster cars pulled out of the station. 

Coaster cars—was that even a real word?  Jenna chewed her bottom lip as she stared at what she’d written on the computer screen.  She decided to go with it—the teacher would guess what she was talking about. .

‘This was it. There were no more people to wait for. The next car would be ours. We would be climbing in, and then—that would be it.’

‘Why was I doing this?  This wasn’t the kind of thing that I usually did. I’ve always been kind of cautious.  The roller coaster definitely looked scary, and I’m not big on scary.  I’ve had enough real scares in my life.’

‘But I had made up my mind to do this thing—part of me didn’t want to quit. After all that’s happened, there was no reason to be afraid of a roller coaster. And also, I guess that another part of me was actually kind of excited.’

‘The car pulled into the station.  The two girls I had seen before climbed out.—talking and laughing. They looked okay to me. In fact, they looked like they thought it was fun. Maybe this would be fun for me too?  The gate we were standing behind swung open with a loud buzz, and we climbed in. Dad helped me push the harness down all the way until it clicked.’

‘The ride started slowly up the hill.  My heart beat even faster—I told Dad that I had changed my mind, and maybe I couldn’t do it.  Dad said that it was too late for that now, and he was right. It wasn’t like they were going to move the ride backwards or anything.

The only thing I could do was enjoy the ride.  The whole thing was out of my hands--there wasn’t any other choice—not now.’

‘I pretty much felt the same way about testifying in the hearing. When I went up into the room, and they put the microphone on me—and Dad and the lawyers were there—I knew that I was locked into it just like I’d been locked into the roller coaster ride. Just like the ride couldn’t move backwards, I couldn’t move backwards either.’

Jenna sighed, rubbing her forehead with her fingertips. Trying to write down what she felt was a lot harder than she had thought it would be. 

‘Riding on a roller coaster was fun—there was nothing to enjoy about having to testify in a court. Telling lawyers and a Judge about what happened to you probably isn’t fun or easy for anyone, even if you’re not actually in the courtroom.   And it’s definitely not easy when you’re facing the person who hurt you—even if you’re looking at him on a TV monitor.’

In her mind Jenna could still see the way that Gary had looked—the smile that had spread across his face as she’d described the things he’d done to her—he had actually enjoyed that.  And Mr. Baylor—she knew that Dr. Pfaff kept saying that it wasn’t personal, but it had certainly felt very personal to Jenna. The man was a creep.

‘Testifying was the right thing to do, though. I certainly didn’t want that man to hurt me again, and I didn’t want him to hurt anyone else either. So as much as it scared me I had to face my fear and deal with it. Facing fears doesn’t mean that you stop being afraid, though. The morning of the hearing I was definitely afraid—Mom and Grandma told me that it was stage-fright. They said that it was perfectly normal. Everyone has told me that fear is a very natural emotion, but you have to manage it or it will run your life. So facing the fear means that even if you’re still scared, you take a deep breath and you face it anyway—at least that’s what I think. And after my testimony and the cross-examination I felt like I had just gotten off that roller coaster again. I had faced him, and let him know that I wasn’t going to be his victim anymore—that he wasn’t going to hurt me all over again. I didn’t let him beat me before, and I wasn’t going to let him beat me now. After I did these things I actually felt better and stronger—I had faced up to something and conquered it.’

Conquered that part—but it wasn’t over yet, was it? There was the grand jury this week—and then the trial. The hearing hadn’t been bad—but the trial itself—that was supposed to be tough. At that thought the butterflies began to flutter slightly. Jenna drew in a deep breath and let it out slowly.

“Working on your essay?” 

Dad’s voice—she jumped a little—she hadn’t even heard him coming in the room. Jenna swiveled the desk chair around part of the way to look at him.

“Trying to,” she replied. “It’s not easy.” 

“Anything I can do to help? What’s the subject?”

“Well she said it could be about anything, so I’m writing about testifying at the hearing.” 

“Testifying at the hearing?”  Dad repeated. “Munchkin—ahh—that might be a little more personal than you want to get.” 

“Dad, it’s okay. I don’t go into detail or mention names—it’s just mainly I’m writing about facing up to things—scary things, and overcoming them.” 

   “You did a good job of that,” Dad reminded her. “And you should be very proud of yourself.” 

“Thanks—I am—it’s just—it’s not so easy to write about—and maybe it’s because I know—”

. “Maybe it’s because you know what?”

Jenna let out her breath in another long sigh. “That there’s more stuff coming—you know, with the trial and all—and that’s supposed to be much harder than the hearing.” The words seemed to pour out of her. “What if I’m not ready?  I knew I was ready for the hearing but the trial is going to be very different.” 

“Jenna—”

“And what about the Grand Jury?  They could throw out the hypnosis evidence, couldn’t they?  I know the judge at the hearing accepted it, Dad—but still—”

“Jenna, would you stop?”  Dad knelt down in front of her, taking her hands in his. “Now listen to me. As far as the Grand Jury goes, that’s out of our control. The people testifying there will be the law enforcement officer who’s heading your case—and that’s it.” 

“Mr. Baylor could—”

“No, Mr. Baylor can’t be there either. Now the decision will probably come down before the end of the week and I will let you know, but until then there is absolutely no point in you worrying over something neither you nor I can control. Deal?” 

“Deal.” 

“Good—and as for the trial, if we have to prepare some more, we will do that. We certainly wouldn’t let you go into this all alone and unprepared. All right?” 

“I know that,” Jenna replied.  “Really, I do—it’s just—” 

Dad stood. Still holding her hands he pulled her into a hug. 

“You’re just fine, munchkin,” he said. “You’re strong, you’ve survived so much already—and I know you can do this too.” 

“I can do this,” Jenna repeated. Part of her did know that, but still…

“I know I can do this.”  She said it again, not quite sure if she was trying to convince Dad or herself.

 TBC