Some Justice—Part Eight

Ballston Common Mall 

Saturday, March 31, 2001

1:30 PM 

"You know, I'm still amazed your parents let you come here."  Lisa said as they walked through the automated doors into the mall. "I would've thought they were going to keep you under lock and key forever." 

"Lisa, come on—it's not that bad," Jenna said. "I mean, what happened was scary for everyone—so you can't really blame them for being a little protective."

"A little?  Your Mom made us promise that we would stay together at least ten times. I felt like I was eight years old again with that 'buddy system' when she'd take us camping—remember?" 

"Okay, now you're exaggerating." 

"Maybe," Lisa conceded. "That's a big maybe." 

They were standing in front of the map kiosk—people milling around them—so many people. Jenna had forgotten just how crowded the mall could get.  A white-haired man walking past gave her a strange look—Jenna's hand went to her forehead, automatically, her fingers tracing the scar—she was sure she'd put concealer on earlier—did it still show?  Was that what he'd been staring at?

'Now you're getting paranoid, Jenna.'  She told herself. 

"So have you decided what to get your dad for his birthday?" Lisa's voice broke into her thoughts--Jenna looked at her.  "What day is it on?"  

"Tuesday—we're having a surprise party in the evening—and I'm still drawing a blank," Jenna said. "Do you have any ideas?" 

"Um—how about some cologne?"  

"Definitely not." Jenna suppressed a shudder at the thought. 

"Got it, no cologne. Ties, maybe?"  

Jenna shook her head. "Dad's got lots of ties—most of them probably cost more than I could afford from my allowance." 

"How much do you have exactly?" 

"I’ve saved seventy-five dollars—and that also needs to cover the card and dinner at the Food Court." 

"So—that leaves about sixty dollars—there's a lot of nice things you could get with sixty bucks." 

"I know that—I just can't think of anything." 

"What did you get him last year?" 

"A t-shirt—but Phillip is already getting him a shirt—he said." 

Lisa's face brightened. "Phillip's coming?"

"Yeah, and Jamie too. Don't look that way, Lisa—he's way too old for you." 

"I can dream, can't I?  Hey, maybe I'll even drop over—" 

Jenna smiled. "You do and you'll have to buy a present."  

Lisa pouted. "You're no fun, Jenna Stetson." 

"Listen, can we get out of your fantasy world and into the 'I still have no present' world?"  Jenna looked at the map, at the little red arrow that told them where they were—not very helpful when they didn't know where to go. 

"Don't stress about it," Lisa said. "We've got plenty of time—we'll walk around—something will hit you." 

"Excuse me!" The voice barked at her from behind. 

Heart pounding wildly, Jenna jumped aside, flattening herself against the kiosk as a woman, wearing stretch pants, a baggy t-shirt and a fanny pack and pushing a stroller practically threatened to run them down, weaving in and out of shoppers as she dove into the crowd. 

"Well someone's in a hurry for their Starbucks," Lisa said. "Either that or she's doing some crazy power-walking there." 

"I—" Jenna started to say as a man in a suit brushed past her, the cell phone glued to his ear.


"I told them already," cell-phone man said. "If I have to pay any closing costs I'm backing out right now—no—no you deal with it, Stacy—I'm through talking." Jenna watched as cell phone man nearly collided with a group of older teens, wearing baggy shirts and pants practically down to their knees. 

"Damn, dude—watch it." the blond guy with dreadlocks muttered. But the man didn't even reply, just strode past, immersed in his own little world. 

"Everyone's in such a hurry to get nowhere," Lisa muttered. "At least that's what my sister always says—hey are you all right?" 

"Fine," Jenna was surprised to discover that her hands were shaking violently—her legs too. She took deep breaths, counting, willing her heartbeat to slow—her body to relax. "I'm fine, it just—it took me by surprise—that's all." 

"Totally understand."  Lisa took her cell phone out of her pocket. "Your mom will be back by seven—we have lots of time—why don't we get an ice-cream before we start shopping?  We need the sugar, for energy, you know?"

Ice cream—it reminded Jenna of Dr. Pfaff—maybe it really did help people feel better. 

"Sure," she said. "Ice cream would be awesome." 

4:30 PM

"What are we doing here?"  Lisa asked. 

Jenna wasn't quite sure herself—she just had a feeling. "I just wanted to look at the jewelry counter, that's all." 

"The men's jewelry counter? Didn't we already get a present for your dad?"

"The car calendar only cost fifteen dollars, Lisa—I still have more money to spend."

"You don't have to spend it all on the birthday, you know—there's some clothes over there we could look at." 

"Lisa—"

"Okay, okay—geez, you're stubborn." 

"We'll look at the clothes in a sec, I promise."  Jenna looked at the jewelry displayed underneath the counter—gleaming gold and silver—sparkling diamonds—most of it in the hundreds of dollars and completely beyond her budget.  But then—something caught her eye—in the corner of the case—she stared at the little scarecrow engraved on each one—they'd be perfect, Jenna thought—but the price—

"Excuse me,"  she called out to the bored-looking salesman behind the counter. "How much are these cufflinks? There's no price listed." 

"The scarecrow cufflinks?"  the man said. "They were a Halloween novelty item—they never really caught on." 

Scarecrows. Jenna thought back to dad—the scarecrow doll he'd given her—to her the cufflinks looked just right. They weren't too showy and Dad could use them—he was always misplacing his other ones.  It would be perfect.  "But how much are they?"  she asked again. 

"Well—if you really want to buy them they're thirty dollars—but we have some nice sterling silver ones over here—they're only seventy- five—very elegant." 

"I want the scarecrow ones," Jenna took the cash out of her purse. "How much is it altogether—with tax?" 

"Thirty-one dollars and sixty-five cents."  Jenna handed the man thirty two dollars—he handed her the change and then put the cufflinks in a box and then in a small paper bag, handing it to her. 

"Why do you want those?"   Lisa asked. 

Jenna smiled. "Because they're special." 

"If you say," Lisa shook her head bemusedly, but she was smiling. 

SMK SMK SMK SMK 

5:30 PM 

"So, is it Wendy's or McDonald's?" Lisa asked as they strolled through the food court. 

"What about Sbarro's ?" 

"Pizza? I'm not so sure about pizza—" 

"We don't have to get the same thing,"  Jenna reminded her. 

"That's true. Hey, what do you think of the blouse I bought?"

"Looked good to me—I loved the color on you." 

"But the question is, will Brad Marcum like it?"

"Brad who?" 

"Marcum—you know, the captain of the basketball team—he's an eighth grader—moved here about a month ago?" 

Jenna shook her head. "I'm sorry—I don't remember."

"No prob—you've had other stuff to deal with—oooh—look there's Brad," Lisa pointed to a tall blond guy waiting in line at Wendy's. "Mind if I go over and see him? I'll only be a sec." 

"Sure—" Jenna saw the restroom. "I just have to go—I'll be right back out, okay?" 

"Okay—sure you'll be all right by yourself? I mean, your mom said—" 

"Lisa, I really have to go—I'll be fine." 

"As long as you're sure."

"I'm sure." 
 

SMK SMK SMK SMK 

Florescent lights always made you look so washed out. 

Jenna looked at herself in the mirror—so pale, she thought—she wished she had remembered to sneak out some blush or something. At least her scar was covered—you could only see it if you got up close. Her hair was growing longer—it was chin-length now.  It had been down to the middle of her back before—she pictured Gary chopping it off with scissors while she lay there unconscious—a shiver ran through Jenna's body. 

The sound of a toilet flushing startled her—she hadn't realized that anyone else was here. One of the stall doors opened and a blond girl stepped out—it was Terri.  She froze as she saw Jenna. Inside her chest Jenna could hear her heart pounding, blood rushing through her ears. 

Terri smiled. 

"Scarface."  She walked slowly forward, her steps, echoing--measured.  "You know, if I were you I'd never go out in public with that face—you might scare small children." 

"Terri, shut up."  Jenna's voice shook despite herself. 

"Make me," Terri moved closer. "There's just you and me here—no one to defend you—no one to get me into trouble—what are you going to do?"  

What could she do??  Where could she go??  Terri was blocking the exit, moving closer—Jenna wasn't exactly short but this girl was taller—he was going to be standing over her soon—

"Nowhere left to run, little girl."  Jenna's mouth felt suddenly dry in her mind she could see Gary—the gun in his hand—

'No!'

She wasn't going to think that way—this wasn't Gary—this wasn't someone who could really do her harm—this was Terri--Terri was actually younger by a few months—and she was a bully.  Just a bully. Jenna took in a deep breath. 

'Five—four—three—two—one—relax—relax—' she repeated that word as she breathed out slowly.  Terri stood beside her now.  Jenna still felt the fear but it didn't have her—she could control it—she would control it. 

"You know something, Scarface?"  Terri was so close that she could smell the bubblegum on her breath—Jenna could feel how the small of her back was pressed up against the sink. "I hope that when Gary Johnston does get out, I hope he comes for you—I hope he finds you—makes you pay for what you did to him. And all those people at school who think you're so great will have to change their minds." 

"You're jealous." 

Terri laughed. "I'm what?"  

Jenna took another deep breath before speaking again. "You're jealous," she repeated. "Aren't you, Terri? That's what this is all about, isn't it? Because you think I'm getting attention and you're not." 

"I don't know what you're talking about." Terri said. "I'm not—"

"Yes, you are—and I think—if you knew what really happened to me, I don't think you'd be jealous," Jenna said.  "I don't like you, Terri, but what Gary did is not something I'd wish on anyone—even you." 

"He didn't do anything."  Terri said—but suddenly she looked less sure of herself—she actually backed away slightly. "I know—what I heard—"

Jenna straightened—now she was the one moving towards the other girl as she spoke. 

"You don't know anything," Jenna wasn't sure where this was coming from—but now that she had started she couldn't seem to stop. "Have you ever been scared, Terri?  I mean, really scared—where you try to scream, or talk—only nothing comes out?"

"You can't threaten me."  Terri's voice shook—she backed away. 

"I'm not trying to," Jenna said. "What I'm trying to say is that I've been there—I've been that scared—and I survived. So whatever you do, you're not going to frighten me—you don't scare me—not anymore. I'm leaving now—goodbye."

Terri stood motionless--stunned—-as Jenna took her purse and left the restroom. Once outside—she rested back against the wall momentarily—eyes closed—trying to regain control. 
 

"You all right, kid?"  Jenna opened her eyes to see a young man carrying a broom and pulling a cart—a janitor—his dark eyes were filled with concern. 

"Do you need me to get someone?"  the man asked  her. 

"No,"  Jenna said. "I'm fine—thank you, though."   She straightened, surprised to find that this time her legs weren't shaking—her voice was steady—she really was fine. 

"You sure?" 

She nodded and smiled. "I'm sure." The janitor returned her smile as he left her, pulling his cart along. 

Looking across at Wendy's Jenna could still see Lisa, one hand on her hip,  still talking to Brad what's-his-name.  The smell of pizza wafted over from Sbarro's—Jenna's stomach rumbled, reminding her that she was starved—walking over to the restaurant she got in line—grabbing a slice of pepperoni pizza and a bottle of pink lemonade—she loved pink lemonade. Putting her purchases on the tray she went to the register. 

"Sure you don't want fries or chips?"  the guy behind the counter asked. 

"I'm sure—this is great." 

The guy grinned. "Glad pizza makes you so happy." 

Happy—Jenna's smile widened. "Yeah—-I guess it does." 

Jenna paid for her food and took her tray over to the nearby table. Part of her felt like she was on automatic pilot—trying to work out the feeling that was growing inside her. Not a bad feeling—a very good feeling—but it was different. Something had changed—but what? 

Musing, Jenna picked up the pizza, folding it the way that Dad always did with the big slices—taking a bite.   

A mother walked by, screaming toddler in tow. 

At a nearby table a group of teenage girls sat—heads bent together—sharing a private moment—probably gossiping. 

A girl and a guy strolled through the food court—the girl's hand tucked into the guy's back pocket—-she and Lisa had always thought that was gross—

Lisa—the sound of her friend's laughter rang out from across the room. Jenna almost laughed herself—she could feel happiness welling up inside of her—like an enormous weight had been taken off her shoulders. 

What was different? 

That was when Jenna realized. The world was exactly the same—what had changed was her. 

'I survived,'  she thought. 'I came through it all.'  People had been telling her that all along—she had started to feel like it could be true a couple of days ago—now she was sure. 

She had survived the kidnapping—-the nightmares, the flashbacks—Terri's bullying—-all of that and she was still here, still alive—it wouldn't beat her—no, more than that—she wouldn't let it beat her—not now, not ever. 

"Jenna?"  Lisa said.  She looked up at her friend standing there, tray from Wendy's in hand. 

"The manager wouldn't let me talk to Brad unless I ordered too."   Lisa sat down.  "She said I was holding up the line—puh-leese—like people are going to die if they have to wait a few minutes for their meal. You okay?" 

Jenna took another bite of her pizza. "Sure—why?" 

"I know this is going to sound strange, but you're smiling like you've just won the lottery,"  Lisa said. "Something happen while I was gone?" 

"You could say that, yeah." 

"Something good, from the look of you," Lisa said. "Oh god, don't look now, but it's the witch with a 'b'—how Terri's mom lets her wear those outfits I'll never know. Let's just hope she doesn't notice us—or notice you—oh no, she's looking this way."

"Is she really?" 

"Yeah—just keep your face down, okay? Maybe she won't come over here." 

Instead of hiding,  Jenna looked directly at Terri, giving her a smile and lifting her hand in a little wave.

"Jenna!"  Lisa sounded shocked. 

Terri's face flushed crimson—she looked away from them as she stormed out of the food court.

"Girl, I don't know what's going on with you," Lisa said. "But I hope that Terri doesn't make you pay for that later."   

"I'm not worried," Jenna told Lisa.  "There are tougher people than Terri." 

'And I should know,' she added silently.  

"Well, whatever you took, I want some too," Lisa dug into her bag—handing Jenna a card.  "Hey—-I got you this earlier when you weren't looking—I'm not much with the mush but I know that hearing is coming up so this is just a little thing—don't make it a big deal, okay?" 

Jenna stared at the card. 

'I Know You Can Do It', the card proclaimed in bright red letters.  Jenna thought back to the calendar in her room—where she'd been marking off the days until the thirteenth—-the date of the hearing—a feeling of dread in her gut as she'd marked off yet another day. 

It didn't seem like such a frightening event anymore. 

"Do you like it?"  Lisa asked.  "I tried to pick a card that you'd like." 

"I love it, Lisa—thank you." 

Her fingers traced the letters. She could do it, Jenna thought to herself. 

Now she knew that for sure.
 

TBC