Author's Chapter Notes:
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Part Five: Images
"Good night," Jenna said to Billy. "Thanks for coming."
"Good night to you too, sweetheart." Billy bent down to give her a gentle hug.
"And Happy Birthday. Jeannie sends her love--we both want you to get some rest
and get to feeling better, you hear?"
Jenna smiled. "I will."
Lee watched as everyone filed out of the room, talking and laughing as Amanda
and Dotty saw them downstairs and out the door.
'It was a good party,' he thought. 'Thank God--if anything had gone wrong--'
Nothing had gone wrong though--and as much as Lee hated to admit it, Dr. Pfaff
had been right. Seeing Jenna talking and laughing with Lisa and Christy, Lee
could almost make himself believe that everything was okay.
Then Jenna's eyes had suddenly closed--her head drooping forward--luckily Amanda
had been there to catch the cake plate as it fell from her hands. Lee recognized
the signs of extreme exhaustion--Lord knows, he'd had that himself in the past.
Jenna had simply pushed herself a little too hard that day--the flashback she'd
had earlier certainly hadn't helped in that regard.
A small whimper brought Lee out of his thoughts and into the present. He turned
to see his daughter--her face now chalk-white, struggling to remove the pillows
from behind her.
"Let me do that, munchkin." Lee told her.
"Okay." Ordinarily Jenna might have given him some sort of argument, but Lee
guessed that she probably didn't have the strength. He supported her back as he
removed all but one of the pillows, carefully easing her into a lying-down
position and tucking the blankets loosely around her.
"Do you need anything for the pain?" he asked.
Jenna shook her head. "Mostly I'm just tired. This was a nice party, Dad--thank
you."
"Want me to stay with you until you fall asleep?"
For a few moments Jenna was silent, her eyes wide, staring at the ceiling.
"Jenna?" Briefly Lee wondered whether her head injury was acting up. Dr.
Dearborn had said that because of the concussion there might be some headaches
and dizziness. Then Jenna's head turned and her eyes slowly focused on him--Lee
breathed a silent sigh of relief.
"If you want me to stay here I will," he told her.
"No," Jenna said. "I think I'm going to try it by myself--can you just check
the window and leave the lamp on?"
Lee checked the window. "It's locked." He switched on the lamp and turned off
the main lights. "Is there anything else?"
"My Scarecrow doll," Jenna's eyes were half-closed, her voice slow and slightly
slurry. "I'm not--trying to be a baby--I'd just like something to hold."
Lee picked up the Scarecrow doll. As he did, his mind flashed back to the day
he'd found it in the store, neglected and dusty on the bottom shelf, covered by
pairs of socks. Jenna had been sick with the flu at the time--Lee remembered
thinking that the doll might give her some comfort. Would it work even now?
Carefully he placed the doll in her arms, bending down, his lips brushing her
forehead lightly.
"Night, munchkin."
For a moment Lee stood in the doorway--watching as Jenna curled up into a tight
ball, her arms wrapped protectively around her body, clutching the stuffed doll
tightly to her chest.
'Even in sleep she can't relax--not really.' As Lee looked at Jenna the image
from his dream popped unbidden into his mind:
Jenna sprawled on the muddy ground, face bruised and pale--her dark eyes open,
staring lifelessly--leg twisted underneath--one side of her ribcage caved
in--from beneath her head a dark red stain had spread--reminding Lee of a
pillow--
'I'm so sorry, munchkin--I should've been here--I should've been able to stop
this--'
"No," Lee whispered aloud. Jenna was safe--she hadn't been hurt like that--that
he could look at her and see those horrible things was just--Lee shut his eyes,
breathing deeply, willing the pictures to leave his mind.
"Lee?" His wife's hand touched his arm. Opening his eyes, Lee turned to see her
standing there.
"I didn't mean to startle you," she said. "For a minute you looked like you
were miles away."
Lee wrapped his arms around her. "You didn't startle me. I'm fine--better--now
that you're here.
Amanda smiled. "Well that's good to know. How's Jenna?"
"Worn out--she fell asleep right away."
"Well it's been a long day," Amanda said.
"I loved the inscription you picked for the necklace--there's no place like
home--Jenna loved it too."
"Thanks," Amanda said. "I'm glad she enjoyed her party--even if it wasn't the
party she originally wanted--it was still nice."
The slumber party--Lee remembered now-- the talks they'd had about it--such a
short time ago but now it seemed like another world--so much was different
now--the kidnapping had changed everything. He glanced over at his sleeping
daughter--grateful that the images had faded from his mind.
"Lee what is it?" Amanda asked. "What's wrong?"
Lee hesitated. "Let's go into the bedroom--I don't want her to overhear." Hand
in hand they went into their bedroom, shutting the door.
Amanda crossed her arms as she faced him. "Tell me what's going on."
"Nothing, really--It's just--for some reason I keep thinking that if we hadn't
gotten to Jenna in time she might have--" Lee couldn't bring himself to
finish--to describe the horrible visions--that would make them seem all too
real. His legs shook--slowly Lee sank down onto the edge of the bed.
Amanda sat beside him. "Look at me. We did get to her in time--Jenna's safe and
she's alive. She's fine."
"She's not fine. She might be safe and alive but she's far from fine." Lee raked
his fingers back through his hair. "Jenna doesn't even sleep the way she used
to--did you notice? We do everything to make her feel safe and secure but it
isn't enough. I'm not sure it ever could be."
"It's going to take time--we know that."
"How much time, huh? Amanda--what she's going through right now--I wouldn't wish
that on anyone. And I keep thinking that I--"
"You keep thinking that you what?"
Lee looked down, not meeting her eyes. "I can't stop thinking that there must
have been signs leading up to Jenna being taken--something I missed--something
that could've prevented this from happening."
"Lee--"
"I'm a professional. My own daughter was being stalked and targeted and I didn't
even see it--do you know how that makes me feel?"
"This wasn't your fault," Amanda told him. "Any more than it was mine for
showing that man Jenna's picture."
Lee shook his head. "Showing a picture is one thing--"
"Okay, well what about me being in the backyard with Mother when Jenna came home
that day? If I'd just been there in that split second, then maybe I--" Amanda's
voice shook. "You don't have a monopoly on guilt here."
"I know." Lee pulled Amanda's body close to his. "I'm sorry, this is--it's just
hard for me."
"It's hard for everyone." Amanda looked up at him. "But what you promised me a
few days ago still stands--you promised me that we would get her through this
and we will--together. All right?"
"I love you, Mrs. Stetson." Lee bent down towards his wife as his lips met hers