Flashback 

Tiffany & Co.  

Friday, February 2, 2001

3:30 PM 

“Here it is, Mr. Stetson.” The saleslady came out of the backroom, the small pale blue box in her hand. “We had them put it on a special rush order.” 

“Thanks.”  Lee opened the box—looking at the small silver Scarecrow pendant hanging from its delicate matching chain.  And the inscription—he turned it over.  Amanda had told him that she’d chosen an inscription but she hadn’t said what—Lee swallowed hard, trying to keep a grip on his emotions. 

“I hope everything’s satisfactory,” the saleslady said. “I can wrap it now if you like.” 

Lee handed it back to her. “It’s perfect.” 

“Present for your wife?”  The saleslady asked, wrapping a white bow around the box.

Lee shook his head. “My daughter—it’s her birthday.”

“Well I certainly hope it’s a happy one, Mr. Stetson.”

“So do I,” Lee agreed.

4247 Maplewood Dr.

4:00 PM

It was starting to snow.

 Sitting on the sofa, Jenna watched as thick flakes fell through the sky, covering the ground with a thin layer of white.

“Won again.”  She could hear Phillip’s voice in the background. “See—even when you cheat you can’t beat me.” 

“It’s amazing to me that a 28 year grown old man can get this excited over a Monopoly game,” Jamie said.  

“Yeah, keep talking, wormbrain—you know you can’t beat me.” 

It had been snowing last week, Jenna remembered—that was why school had let off early—her brothers’ voices faded into the background….

*~~*

“Why do we have to invite Natalie?” Lisa said. “That girl snores like a freight train.” 

“She’s nice—and besides she tells great ghost stories.” 

Lisa’s voice was doubtful. “I guess—anyway it’s your party, Jenna. Look, I’ve got to run—my older sister’s coming and we’re all going to Applebee’s” 

“Have fun, see you later.”  Jenna walked down the block towards her house. Cold air stung her cheeks and made her fingertips go numb—the snow crunched underfoot as she walked.  Maybe later on she’d want to get out and play, maybe build a snowman or have a snowball fight with dad—but right  now all she could think of was getting inside and getting warm. Mom would make some hot chocolate of course—she usually did on days like this. 

A black van moved slowly down the street, lights on—probably looking for directions, Jenna guessed. It was nothing worth worrying over. 

And besides, she was nearly home—

*~~*

A black van—

Jenna couldn’t breathe. Her heart thundered in her ears—nails digging into her palms as she watched the vehicle as it slowly lumbered down the road. 

‘Coming here—he’s come back to get me,’ Jenna thought.  Every instinct was telling her to run and hide, but she couldn’t seem to move.

Nothing she could do to stop him—not this time.—he was almost here—her hands clenched tighter—

A hand touched her shoulder—Jenna cried out, trying to pull away from the strong grip.

“You’re not getting away from me, Jenna—” Gary’s blue eyes glittered—so cold that they made Jenna shiver.  He leaned closer—

SMK SMK SMK SMK

“Mom!”  Phillip’s voice. A loud crash came from the family room. The butter knife Amanda had been holding clattered to the floor.  She ran to the kitchen, her mother right behind her. Jenna was on the floor between the sofa and the coffee table.

Jamie’s face was pale—Amanda could see the terror in her son’s expression.

“I swear, all I did was touch her shoulder,” Jamie said. “She backed away and fell and now it’s like she doesn’t even see me.” 

“Jamie you did nothing wrong,” Amanda told him. “Jenna’s just having a little bit of a rough time right now.”   She knelt beside her daughter.  Jenna’s dark eyes looked huge and frightened—her breath came in shallow gasps. 

“Jenna?”  Amanda gently reached towards her and Jenna whimpered, scuttling away like a crab.

“No—please—I just want to go home,” Jenna said.

“Sweetheart, you are home,” Amanda took Jenna’s clenched hands, holding them. “Look at me—you’re home and you’re safe—look at me, Jenna.”  It took a while but finally Jenna’s eyes focused and her rapid breathing began to slow.

“Mom?”  She said. “Gary—he was here—I saw him—I saw the van—” 

 “Gary’s in prison,” Amanda told her. ”He’s going to be there for a long time—you didn’t see him, sweetheart. That was just another van.”   

“No it was him—he’s coming to get me—I know it—”

“No he’s not—you’re here and you’re safe—no one is coming to get you.”  Amanda held Jenna’s still-shaking body close, repeating those same words over and over until she felt her daughter start to relax. 

 SMK SMK SMK SMK

“Jenna had a what?”  Lee asked. He walked through the grocery aisle, cart in hand and cell phone balanced on his shoulder. As he spoke his eyes scanned the shelves.

“It was just a little episode,” Amanda said.

 “What kind of a little episode?”  

“She saw a black van coming down the road and she thought it was Gary coming back to get her and I guess she panicked or had some sort of flashback.” 

“A flashback?”  Lee’s voice rose slightly—a woman walking by with two kids in tow gave him a curious glance, but he ignored her. “Are you sure?”

“Pretty sure—for a little while there it was like she couldn’t even see or hear me.” 

“Amanda, that doesn’t sound good at all. Maybe we can take her to see someone now —forget waiting until Monday.”

“Lee, relax—Jenna’s just fine,” Amanda said. “I just held her and talked to her until she calmed down.” 

“And is she calm now?” 

“I told you, she’s fine—she does have a little bit of a headache, though—mother and I put her to bed.”   

Nightmares and now flashbacks—Lee ran a hand back through his hair. “I think we should cancel the party, Amanda—it’s just too much for her. She only got out of the hospital three days ago.” 

“Jenna says that she still wants the party.” 

“Yeah, well—Jenna doesn’t always know what’s best for her. Suppose she has another episode?” 

“Actually I was thinking that we should go ahead,” Amanda said.  “If it gets to be too much for her we can always cut it short.” 

“A-man-da—”

“She’s been looking forward to this party all week—even if we have to scale it down a little I would hate to have to cancel it outright.”

“I just don’t know.” Lee said. “Look— I’ll get these groceries and then I’ll come home—we can talk about it then.” Flipping his cell phone closed, he placed it back in his pocket.

“Dad, can I get an ice-cream cake for my birthday next week?”  Lee looked over, seeing a girl who looked to be about Jenna’s age—maybe a little younger—her blond hair pulled back in a ponytail, the way Jenna used to before—the girl’s father sighed.

“I don’t know, Jess—last time we got one it was so frozen that the knife broke when I was cutting it.” 

“But they’re my favorite—please, dad?” 

Lee watched silently as the man smiled, ruffling his daughter’s hair with one hand “Yeah, I know it is –we’ll see, okay?”   Hand in hand they disappeared down the aisle. 

‘That should be Jenna,’ Lee thought. Twelve years old—she should be thinking about her friends, school, clothes—all the normal things girls her age thought about.  But Gary Johnston had put a stop to all that. Even worse, Lee had been too blind to notice.  And now Jenna was—

‘Come on, Stetson. Did you really think anyone close to you would remain unscathed?’ Lee closed his eyes briefly, pressing his hand against his forehead and trying to quell the taunting inner voice.

SMK SMK SMK SMK 

“Lee, from what you’ve told me it does sound like Jenna had a flashback,” Dr. Pfaff said.

“I don’t need you to tell me it was a flashback,” Lee paced the length of the bedroom as he spoke, the phone clutched in his hand.  “What I need you to tell me is what I can do when she has one.” 

“The best thing you can do is what your wife already did— reassure Jenna, remind her of where she is and let her know that the trauma is over—that it’s not happening all over again.” 

“That’s it? That’s all you can tell me?” 

“Well, once I actually start to treat Jenna,” Pfaff said. “We can develop more specific techniques. Also, I still don’t see any reason why she shouldn’t have a normal birthday party tonight.”

“I just don’t know whether she’s ready for that.”

“Your daughter needs normality, especially after the trauma she suffered—I think the party would be beneficial.”  

“Maybe, but what if she has a flashback or some other episode during the party? That could set Jenna back—make her withdraw and build walls around herself—I just don’t know if I want to take that risk.” 

There was a long silence. “Who exactly are we talking about here?” Pfaff asked.

“What do you mean who are we talking about?”  Lee said.  “We’re talking about Jenna.”

“Yes, and Jenna isn’t you, Lee—she has her own issues to deal with and she isn’t going to react to trauma in the same way.” 

Lee felt suddenly defensive.  “I know that.” 

“I’m not so sure you do.” Pfaff said. “I think that you might be transferring your own fears and anxieties onto your daughter.” 

“Transferring—” Lee shook his head.  “Doc, cut it with the psychobabble, all right?” 

If Dr. Pfaff was at all ruffled by Lee’s tone he didn’t show it.  “Maybe it wouldn’t hurt for you to come in for a few sessions on your own.” 

“I don’t need any sessions,” Lee snapped.  A noise outside his door alerted him.  “Look, I need to let you go—I’ll talk to you later.”