Part Thirty: Jenna Before and After

1673 Wisconsin Ave NW

Sunday, February 25, 2001

9:30 AM

"I sure hope Jenna had a good time," Amanda said as they pulled into the
driveway behind Francine's Mustang.

"It sounded like they did," Lee said. "I'm sure that Francine would've called us
if there were any problems."

"I hope so--being away from her last night was hard."

"Yeah, I know." Taking his wife's hand in his, Lee kissed it softly. "It was
hard for me too. But between the two of us we managed to have a good time last
night--didn't we, Mrs. Stetson?"

Amanda smiled. "Yes we did, Mr. Stetson." Lee got out of the 'Vette and held
open the door for Amanda.

"I'm really going to try and relax with Jenna," she told him as they went up the
walk. "I won't be overprotective."

"Good idea," Lee said.

Amanda rang the doorbell. "After all, this is Francine--she loves Jenna just as
much as we do, right?"

"Right."

"Right, so she would never--" Jenna opened the door and Amanda's voice faded
away.

Lee looked down at his daughter--suddenly his wife's speechlessness made perfect
sense--he could feel his own blood pressure start to rise.

Jenna's lips were bright pink--matching the blush that she wore. Dark grey eye
shadow caked her lids--her lashes--Lee peered closer--was that mascara? And her
eyebrows--her eyebrows had been--

'This time I will kill Francine,' he thought. 'Of all the things she could've
done--'

"Dad, is everything okay?" the anxiety in Jenna's voice brought Lee back to the
present--he looked down at his daughter. "You're not mad, are you? I mean, I
know what you said about makeup but this is inside the house and all--you said
that was okay."

"No--I'm not mad, munchkin." Lee struggled to keep his voice very calm. They
stepped inside the house. The TV was on and he could see a bowl of cereal on the
floor where Jenna had been eating breakfast. "Who--who plucked your eyebrows
like that?"

"The lady at the spa--she didn't actually use tweezers--she used some kind of
special tape and it didn't even hurt."

"Sweetheart--you went to a spa?" Amanda said.

Jenna nodded. "All day--we went yesterday. I got a manicure and a pedicure, a
facial, a massage--"

A massage--Lee's fist clenched.

'I really will kill her this time,' Looking over at Amanda, Lee could tell she
wasn't any happier about the situation.

"Jenna, who's at the--" Francine came into the room--she froze when she saw
them.

"Oh hello," she said. "I didn't expect you back so soon."

'I'll bet you didn't' Lee thought. Out loud he said. "Ahh--Jenna--listen--your
Mom and Francine and I need to discuss some business--will you be all right by
yourself in here?"

"Sure--I'll just finish watching this movie--I've never seen 'My Best Friend's
Wedding' before." Jenna's arms wrapped around him briefly, and then Amanda. "I
love you--I missed you yesterday."

"We missed you too, sweetheart," Amanda kissed the top of Jenna's head.

"Francine?" Lee said.

At first Francine was smiling, but then she saw the look in Lee's eyes and her
smile faded.

SMK SMK SMK SMK

"I just can't believe you," Lee fumed as they went out into the enclosed
courtyard. "I mean a spa? Just what in God's name were you thinking? Huh?"

"Well, I was thinking that--" Francine started to speak when Amanda cut her off.

"I have to agree with Lee on this one," Amanda said. "Those spa treatments can
run up into the hundreds of dollars, Francine--you meant well but that's way too
extravagant for a child."

"A child," Lee said. "You hear that? She only turned 12 last month."

Francine crossed her arms. "Yes, I know how old she is."

"Do you?" Lee heard his voice rising--he tried to control himself--knowing that
Jenna could possibly overhear--but it didn't seem to be working. "Do you
really? She's not even a teenager yet--she doesn't need makeup or facials--and
she certainly doesn't need to start worrying about her eyebrows. What were you
thinking? What was going on in your head that you'd do this to her?"

"Lee, if you'll only let me explain--"

"And that's not even the worst part--you had to go and get her a massage? A
massage! You know what she's been through--do you have any idea of the damage
you might have done?"

"If you'll let me finish a sentence!" Francine said. Lee fell silent.

"Thank you," Francine said. "Now I know that day at the spa is a little pricey
for someone Jenna's age, but I thought--after all that had happened to
her--that maybe she deserved a little pampering, something to help her relax and
feel better about herself."

"Yeah, maybe, but--"

"I also realize that the makeup was a bit much, but this morning she's only
playing with it--she's inside, I didn't see the harm. And I bought her some
concealer for her scar--she's still very self-conscious about it."

"Francine--" Amanda said.

"And as for the massage--it was only for her neck, back and shoulders--in case
you weren't aware, her shoulder was sore yesterday morning--in fact, she told me
she's been getting a lot of muscle aches lately--probably due to the stress
she's been under."

Lee recalled that Jenna had been rubbing her shoulder yesterday morning--Pfaff
had said that even with the relaxation exercises muscle aches from built-up
tension might still occur. "I understand, but a massage--that might have
brought up a flashback--we just don't know."

"You don't think I thought about that too?" Francine retorted. "Jenna kept her
clothes on, the masseuse was a woman and I was with her the whole time."

Lee ran his hands back through his hair--not sure what else to say--suddenly he
felt like an enormous jerk. Amanda spoke up, her voice quiet.

"How did she do with the massage?"

"At first she was a little nervous, but the woman was very gentle--Jenna started
to relax in just a few minutes--and after that her shoulder felt much better. We
had a salad at the spa and when we came home we just watched a couple of movies
until she fell asleep. She didn't have any nightmares or problems--she slept
through the whole night." Francine paused, looking at them. "Happy now?"

"Oh Francine, I'm so sorry," Amanda said. "I guess we just jumped to the wrong
conclusion--it's good that you were there to help Jenna--to be a good friend to
her—she needs friends."

"Thank you very much, Amanda--apology accepted." Francine said. "And how about
you, Lee? What do you have to say?"

He could feel her gaze on him--Francine was not about to let him off easily.
"Ah--" Lee cleared his throat. "I'm--I guess I'm--I mean I might have--I
did--jump to conclusions and I was--I was--"

Francine raised her eyebrows. "Wrong? Is that what you're telling me?"


"Yeah, that--and I'm--sorry." There--he'd said it.

Francine nodded--the smile on her face growing wider. "I'll expect the flowers
on my desk tomorrow morning, Scarecrow--along with your report."

4247 Maplewood Dr

6:30 PM

The toast popped up. Jenna took the still-warm slices from the toaster, putting
them on a plate. Using a butter knife, she spread mayonnaise on the slices. Next
came a slice of ham, a slice of cheese, another slice of ham and yet another
slice of cheese. After that--the finishing touch--Jenna unclipped the bag of
potato chips. Spreading the potato chips across the slice of cheese on the top,
she put the bread on top of the sandwich and squished it down, hearing the
satisfying crunching sounds as she did.

"Jenna?" Grandma's voice made her jump. Jenna turned to see her standing in the
doorway.

"Sweetheart, you know that I could've made you a sandwich." Grandma helped Jenna
put the stuff back in the fridge. "It's no trouble."

"I'm sorry," Jenna said. "I just woke up and I was hungry--Mom and Dad are
upstairs working--I didn't know that you'd gotten back yet."

For a reply Grandma simply walked over and gave her a hug. Jenna returned the
hug, briefly closing her eyes.

"Oh, you don't know how many days I've been waiting to do that," Grandma pulled
back, holding Jenna by the shoulders--her eyes looking deeply into Jenna's own.
"How are you doing--really?"

"I'm all right--I mean, I'm not completely--but I think I'm getting better."

"Well, you definitely look better," Grandma said. "I heard that you had a day
at the spa with Francine--did you have a good time?"

Jenna nodded. "Yeah--I got a facial--a manicure and pedicure--even a massage. I
was nervous about the massage at first but it turned out okay--it helped my
shoulder feel a lot better."

"Yes, your parents mentioned something about that--you were asleep when I came
home—I didn't want to disturb you."

"I've been doing a lot of that lately--sleeping, I mean."

Grandma smoothed her hair. "Well it's probably the best thing you could do for
yourself right now--you've been through so much, Jenna --your body needs to
rest."

Everyone had been saying that lately, Jenna thought. "How's Aunt Lillian doing?"
she asked.

"Fine--she's just as impossible as always." Grandma said. "Hey, why don't you
come here in the family room and sit with me? I was just watching some videos."

"Okay--just let me get a tray for my sandwich."


"What kind of sandwich is that, exactly?"

"It's a potato-chip sandwich--see? You put in ham-cheese-ham-cheese and then
you put potato chips on top and squish--it tastes really good."

Grandma laughed. "I bet it does." Jenna found a tray and put the plate with her
sandwich on it. Grandma poured her a glass of milk and together they went into
the family room.

"Which videos are you watching--oh my gosh." Slowly Jenna sank down onto the
sofa, putting the tray on the coffee table in front of her. "The Christmas
recital--I almost forgot we had that."

"We bought it right after the show--it's really good--but you know, in some
songs you're almost completely cut off the screen."

"That's because Mrs. Morgan was filming--she wanted Terri to be the center of
all the dances."

Dotty snorted. "Figures. I've never liked that horrid woman--I remember how she
acted the day of that Nutcracker recital."

"I remember too." Jenna took a bite of her sandwich, watching herself and the
other figures on the screen dancing to the Jackson 5's 'ABC'."

"I have to say," Grandma told her. "That I don't quite understand the style of
dancing for this song."

"It's hip-hop--Miss Gish at the community center wanted us to do a variety of
dances."

"Hip-hop? Hmm--well it makes sense--you're certainly doing a lot of hopping
around. I remember when your mother was around your age--she and her friends
were learning a dance called 'The Freddie'--she did that dance for so long that
she could hardly move the next day. Your grandfather nearly took her to the
emergency room."

"What was that dance like?"

Grandma shook her head. "All I can recall now is that you stuck your arms and
legs out from your side."

"Sounds cool."

"Actually it looked kind of goofy, but I think it was cool at the time."

The next dance was slow--it was a song called 'Lullabye'--Jenna couldn't
remember who sang it but the dance had been her favorite. Watching herself move
across the stage, though--it almost seemed like was watching someone else. Had
that girl really been her? Jenna wondered. Did she really used to be like that?
Okay, maybe that girl hadn't been the best dancer in the group, but she looked
happy--confident--she didn't look like anything could scare her.

Of course, back then, that girl hadn't realized there was anything to be scared
of. She hadn't known anything about a Gary Johnston--she hadn't known what it
felt like to be hit, to see someone shot, or to be in so much pain that--Jenna
swallowed hard, suddenly trying to get rid of the huge lump that had formed in
her throat.

"Have you thought of trying out for the dance team at your school?" Grandma's
voice broke into her reverie. "I know you talked about it at the beginning of
the year--you and Lisa."

"That was a while ago," Jenna said. "I think I'm out of practice, anyway."

"You could always get back in practice--if you started now--when's the next
try-out?"

"March the twentieth," Jenna was finding it hard to talk past the lump--her eyes
stung. The only reason she knew the date was because Lisa wouldn't quit bugging
her about it. "But--I'm not going to do it."

"Why not?"

"I'm not--not interested in dancing anymore--I don't like it."

"Jenna--I know you. I find that a little hard to believe. Now what's the real
reason?"

"Because I can't--not anymore--I won't get up there in front of everybody
and--they'd all be staring--they know what's happened to me and I--I just
can't--" Jenna's voice broke--Grandma pulled her into another hug, rubbing her
back.

"One day you will--you'll get up there ," she told her. "I know it might not
feel like it but you are healing--you're strong--I just know you'll be able to
do that again."

Healing. Sometimes it felt like it--and other times she just wasn't sure.

"Maybe," Jenna told her Grandma. "Maybe someday."