Normalcy

4247 Maplewood Dr.

Friday, February 2, 2001

10:30 AM

Amanda chopped the celery into little sticks, arranging them on a plate, along with the raw broccoli, cauliflower, baby carrots and cherry tomatoes.  The dip was next. Retrieving a bowl from cabinet above the stove, she took the canister sour cream from the fridge and a packet of vegetable soup mix.  Amanda ripped open the soup packet and poured the powdered concoction into the bowl. Absently she wondered whether anyone actually used that stuff for soup. She certainly hoped not.  Amanda poured in the sour cream, grabbed a wooden spoon from the canister and began to blend the contents together.

“You’re cheating!”  Phillip’s voice floated in from the family room.  “You’re not allowed to roll again.” 

“No one cheats at Monopoly, dorkbreath,” Jamie said.  “The rules say I can roll again so that’s what I’m doing.” 

“We’ll let Jenna decide,” Phillip said.  “She can tell us what the rules are about wormbrains who roll twice—all right?”

“Oh that’s real brave, Phillip—pull the kid into it, huh?”  

‘I’m not a kid,’ Amanda said to herself, repeating  what Jenna would normally say on these occasions. Her ears strained to pick up the familiar sound of her daughter’s voice—but there was nothing. Only silence.

“Jenna?” Jamie asked. 

Still holding the bowl, Amanda snuck up towards the doorway. From this vantage point she could see all three of her children. Phillip knelt at one end of the coffee table, Jamie at the other end.  And Jenna—she sat on the sofa—the afghan wrapped so tightly around herself that Amanda found herself thinking of a caterpillar inside its cocoon.  The expression on her daughter’s face was blank, her dark eyes wide and staring, and when Phillip touched his sister’s hand she startled visibly.

“I’m sorry, Jenna—I didn’t mean to scare you,” Phillip said.

Amanda went back to the kitchen table, unable to watch anymore.  Tears stung her eyes. Using the spoon she stabbed at the dip viciously—making a furious clanking sound against the stainless steel bowl.

“Amanda, that cake is absolutely gorgeous,”  Dotty came into the kitchen. “Jenna is really going to love this.” 

“I hope so, Mother,” Amanda said.

“We certainly have enough food here to feed a small army,” Dotty said, grabbing a baby carrot from the vegetable tray. “Who’s coming tonight?” 

Amanda struggled to keep her voice steady. “Um,  well there’s Lisa and Christy, Billy and Jeannie, although Jeannie’s getting over a bad flu so she might not be there, there’s Francine, the boys of course— along with us and Jenna—that’s a pretty good amount and you know how the boys eat, so that explains all the food I guess.” 

Dotty nodded. “Does any of this explain why you’re trying to beat up on the vegetable dip?”  

“Mother, I’m just trying to—” Before Amanda could say anything else Dotty interrupted.

“Darling, I know what’s been going on with Jenna—all the nightmares,” she said quietly. “It can’t be easy on either you or Lee. You don’t have to pretend.”

“It’s not only at night—” Amanda said. “And it isn’t just the bad dreams. It’s everything—she jumps at every noise, every touch—it’s like she can never let herself relax.  Other times it’s like she’s not even there—it hurts me to see her this way.”

“Gary Johnston,” Dotty shuddered involuntarily. “I swear--there’s going to be a special place in Hell reserved for a man like that.” 

“I couldn’t agree more,” Amanda said quietly.

“You’re taking her to get help for this, right?” 

Amanda nodded. “We’re taking her to see Dr. Pfaff on Monday morning. Hopefully he’ll be able to get through to her.” 

“What exactly did happen?” Dotty’s face paled. “Amanda—she wasn’t—I mean, you don’t think that—”

“No,” Amanda said quickly. “At least I don’t think so. But Jenna won’t talk about the details of what happened to her, and whenever I ask she just gets upset.” 

“Maybe you don’t want to know the details.”

“But she needs to talk about them, Mother— if not to us than to someone—that’s what Dr. Pfaff said. The more she talks about these things the less power they’ll have to frighten her.”

“That does make sense.” 

“Yes,” Amanda sighed as she put the dip in the center of the vegetable tray. “But getting Jenna to open up is going to be hard.” 

“She is a lot like her father,” Dotty said.

Amanda nodded again. That was part of what worried her, she thought—how much Jenna kept inside. Dr. Pfaff’s earlier words came back to her:

“If we don’t deal with this now, this might become a lifelong issue”.  The idea of Jenna struggling with this for the rest of her life was just—

“Amanda, look at me.” Dotty said. “You don’t have to worry. Jenna has a lot of love in support here, from her friends—her family — we’ll get her through this together.” 

“Together,” Amanda repeated, whispering a silent prayer that it would be enough.

Q-Bureau

2:30 PM 

Lee ran his hands back through his hair as he stared down at the expense reports on his desk —after two hours of working on these things the numbers were starting to blur together —he just couldn’t seem to concentrate—

Again, Lee’s eyes fell on a manila folder—the one he’d requested from the FBI yesterday—why exactly had he requested it? He wasn’t quite sure himself.

‘I don’t want to look at it,’ Lee thought. ‘I don’t want to know.’ But despite himself he found his hand reaching for the folder—glancing at the title on the front:

Autopsy Report—Marcie Ann Johnston

The picture attached to the front of the folder looked like a school photo—a red-haired girl with dark brown eyes—just like Jenna’s eyes—so similar that it almost took Lee’s breath away.

Drawing in a deep breath Lee opened the file—

As he read the words bile rose up in his throat—fractured ribs—compound fracture of the right leg—multiple contusions, abrasions—his eyes went to the bottom of the report—it was there, printed in black and white:

Clinicopathologic Correlation—severe skull fractures due to blunt force trauma, resulting in massive cerebral hemorrhaging.

Lee’s mind flew back to his nightmare—the vivid image of Jenna’s body on the ground—the image that could’ve been real if they hadn’t made it in time—

‘I should’ve known.’

The knock on the door startled him. Hastily Lee shoved the folder under a stack of papers.

“Come in,” he called.

Billy opened the door. “Hope I’m not disturbing you in the middle of something.” 

“Nothing major,” Lee said.  “What’s up?”

“I just wanted to tell you that I’ll be coming to the birthday party this evening. Jeannie can’t make it—she’s still getting over a flu bug and she doesn’t want to risk spreading it to Jenna. She does send her love, however.” 

“Thanks, Billy.” 

“How is my Goddaughter?” 

 “Not good—she’s been having all these nightmares—even when she’s awake she’s withdrawn and afraid— that’s why we’re taking her to see Pfaff on Monday.” 

“Good call,” Billy said.  “Maybe he’ll be able to help her cope with this.”

“I certainly hope so.”

“How about you?”  Billy asked.

Lee looked at his boss in surprise. “What about me?” 

“Scarecrow, this situation hasn’t been easy on either you or Amanda—you two have been through so much” 

“Billy I’m fine—I’m not the one who was hurt by this man, remember?”  Lee’s voice rose slightly—he wasn’t sure why he suddenly felt so defensive. “I didn’t come close to ending up in a body bag because —” 

‘—because of me,’ he thought to himself, not speaking those words aloud. 

Billy sighed, “All I’m saying is that you might want to consider talking to Pfaff yourself.” 

“Out of the question.”  Lee stood abruptly.  “I need to go, Billy—Amanda wants me to run a few errands before the party.” 

“Lee—”

“I’ll see you tonight.”  Without another word Lee left the Q-Bureau.  The door slammed behind him.

TBC