Part Twenty-Eight :Delayed

4247 Maplewood Dr.

Friday, February 23 2001

2:30 AM

"No!"

Amanda watched helplessly as the man lifted Jenna--kicking and struggling--into
the air.

"No--Jenna--no--stop this--please--"

She looked into her daughter's eyes--the fear she saw--it chilled her. Amanda
tried to move forward--to help her daughter--save her--but it felt like she was
swimming in molasses--she couldn't move fast enough. The man pressed a cloth
against Jenna's face, covering her nose and mouth--the muffled screams
stopped--her child's body sagged limply.

Gary Johnston looked up at Amanda and smiled--his hand closing possessively over
Jenna's helpless form.

"She's mine now, Mrs. Stetson--thanks for giving her to me."

"Amanda!" Lee's voice.

"Lee, he took her--Gary--he took my baby away--I couldn't stop him--I
couldn't--" Amanda's breath came in gasps--tears running down her face. "I
tried, but I couldn't--I couldn't get there in time."

"Jenna's fine--she's sleeping downstairs--she's safe."

"No--she's not--he got her--I wasn't there--"

"Amanda--open your eyes--look at me--look at me!" Amanda stared into her
husband's eyes--she was in her bedroom--Lee was there.

"Jenna's safe," he repeated. "She's downstairs--she's perfectly safe."

Amanda felt her breathing start to slow--all a dream--it had all been a bad
dream--but it had felt so real.

"Lee--I'm sorry, I just--" somehow she couldn't seem to stop shaking--

"It's all right, Amanda." Gently Lee brushed the tears from her face. "I
promise--it's all right."

"I know--it's just that dream--it was so--just hold me, Lee--please hold me."

"Always, Mrs. Stetson." Lee pulled her body close, her head resting against his
bare chest. Amanda could hear the steady drum of his heartbeat--it calmed
her--her eyes began to close once more.

8:00 AM

Lee straightened his tie as he came downstairs--he stopped as he heard the
raised voices coming from the kitchen.

"Mom, I'm fine--I want to go--just to get out of the house. Please?"

"Sweetheart--believe me, I understand--I just don't think you're quite
ready--the last two days were pretty rough--if you want to take another day I'm
sure they'll understand."

A sigh from Jenna. "But I don't want to take another day. I feel good--I'm all
right."

"Jenna, you need to rest--I don't want to hear any more arguments."

"But Mom--" Jenna stopped speaking as Lee came into the kitchen--both she and
Amanda turned to look at him.

"What's going on?" Lee asked.

"I want to go to school," Jenna said. "Mom's trying to make me stay home--Dad,
please tell her that I can go."

"Lee she's not ready yet--I'd feel better if she could just rest for one more
day."

They both looked at him expectantly--Lee's mouth felt dry--he wondered why his
tie suddenly felt too tight.

"Ahh--munchkin--you probably do need some more rest," he said. Jenna let out
another sigh. "However--" he looked at Amanda "Your Grandmother's not home yet
and Billy's requested to have us both in this morning--we can't leave you here
all by yourself. You can go."

"Great!" Jenna smiled. "I'll go get my backpack." She ran upstairs. Lee
exhaled in relief but stopped as he saw Amanda's face--he knew they'd be
discussing this later.

 IFF

9:30 AM

"I can't believe you did that." Amanda followed Lee into the Q-Bureau, giving
the door an uncharacteristic slam. "Why did you undermine me? Telling her that
she could go when you know she needs to rest."

"Amanda, come on--I did not undermine you. Jenna wanted to go back to
school--she feels bettera33;isn't that a good sign?"

"Maybe--if she was ready--but you heard what she went through--Johnston tortured
her. She's going to need time to recover from that."

"Her ribs are healing--she doesn't even wear the belt anymore."

"Damn it, I'm not talking about physically, Lee--I'm talking about emotionally."

"I know--" Lee started to say but Amanda kept talking.

"You told me how she reacted when you leaned over to fasten her seatbelt. This
is still affecting her--she hasn't had time to fully process it yet. One day of
sleep without nightmares is good, but it's not enough time."

"Two days wouldn't be enough time either--you know that."

"Lee, if she has any kind of an episode while she's in school today--"

"If she does, the school's been informed--they know how to deal with it--they'll
contact us."

"I just--" Amanda shook her head. "Jenna didn't have to go today--you said
yourself--you said she needed more rest--then you have the nerve to turn around
and tell her she can go--what were you thinking?"

"I was thinking that Billy wanted us both in the office today and your Mother's
not home yet--or did you want Jenna to be at home all alone? "

"No, but--I'd just--I'd feel better if I could--"

"What?" Lee asked quietly. "Keep your eye on her at all times?"

Amanda nodded, her eyes brimming. Lee quickly closed the space between them and
pulled his wife close.

"Hey--I feel the same way," he said. "But as much as we'd both like to we
can't--we can't keep her at home forever and we can't keep her in a bubble."

"It's just--hearing about all the pain she went through--imagining what it must
have been like for her--" Amanda's voice was muffled against Lee's chest. "I'd
like to protect her from any more pain. Is that really so wrong?"

"Events beyond our control," Lee said. "That's what Pfaff said the kidnapping
was--that I have to accept that I wasn't in control and put it behind me--I'm
trying, but it's just..."

"It's hard," Amanda admitted. "The dream I had last night was so--" Lee felt her
body shudder--he pulled her closer, trying to give her some comfort. "I keep
thinking that if I had only been inside instead of out back--maybe I could have
done something."

"Weren't you the one who told me not to blame myself? You can't blame yourself
either."

"Lee--I was there--she--she probably called out to me but I couldn't hear
her--that's when he grabbed her--I should've been--"

"But you couldn't have known," Lee said. "There's been plenty of times when
Jenna's come home and you've been out back--or I have--how could you have
guessed that this would be the time that something like this happened?"

Amanda pulled out of the embrace and looked at him, wiping tears from her eyes.
"In my dream--Gary thanked me for giving him Jenna--and that's what I
did--didn't I? I gave her to him--"

"No--you didn't--" Lee stepped closer but Amanda backed away.

"I knew--the night of that Christmas party--I felt there was something wrong
about him--his hands were icy cold--the things he said--and I showed him our
daughter's picture. I made her a target--he wouldn't have known about Jenna if I
hadn't done that."

'All this time,' Lee thought. 'All this time she's been trying to comfort
me--and Jenna--she must have been carrying this inside--now it's my turn to help
her.' He took Amanda's hands--this time she didn't pull away--and led her over
to the sofa.

"Listen to me," he said. "How could you have possibly known what he
planned--what he did was so--how could anyone have guessed that?"

"I don't know--all I know is that I have a child who's hurting--who was
tortured--this shouldn't have happened to her. And now all I want to do is be
able to watch and protect her all the time--I can't do that--but it doesn't
stop me from wanting to. And when I think of her at school--all the things that
could happen to her--I know it's unreasonable--but I can't stop feeling that
way."

"Yeah, I know." Lee took a deep breath--God help him--he couldn't believe what
he was about to say. "Amanda--I know you talked once about going to see Dr.
Pfaff--maybe talking to him would help you with this."

For a few moments Amanda was silent--Lee worried that he'd said the wrong
thing--too much too soon. Finally she spoke.

"Yeah--I think you're right--I think that it might help."

10:00 AM

"Thanks for coming to see me, Amanda ," Dr. Pfaff said as she entered his
office. "Did you want the sofa? Some ice cream?"

"No thank you, sir--I'm fine." Briefly Amanda wondered whether anyone ever did
take the ice cream. She sat in a nearby chair.

Dr. Pfaff took an ice cream from the freezer and lay back on the sofa. "Billy
said that you were very upset this morning."

Amanda nodded. "Yes."

"Want to talk about it?"

"Lee and I had an argument this morning over Jenna going to school--I thought
she needed to stay home for another day."

"I see. How did Jenna feel?"

"She wanted to go back--she said she was tired of being 'cooped-up'--I just
didn't think she was ready--not after what happened to her."

"In what way wasn-t she ready?"

"I thought she needed some more rest--time to relax and start to process this."

"But Jenna didn't agree with you."

"No,sir--she slept most of day yesterday--no nightmares--she thought she was
ready to go back."

"What happened after that?"

Amanda drew in a deep breath. "Lee came downstairs--he agreed with me,
but--since Billy needed us both in this morning and Mother isn't home yet--he
said that she could go."

"That makes sense, doesn't it? You wouldn't want Jenna to stay home alone."

"Of course not--for a little while I even thought of taking her into work with
us--we have a sofa in the Q-Bureau--she could've slept there."

"Not really a good idea--Jenna doesn't know what you do for a living, and even
if she did she doesn't have clearance."

"I know--I know it's not reasonable, that I'm not being reasonable-- it's
just--"

"Just what?"

This wasn't going to be easy--Amanda struggled to put her thoughts into words.
"There are so many things that could happen to her at school--you hear on the
news about shootings--someone might even try to take her again--you just don't
know."

"School shootings and stranger abductions are relatively rare, Amanda--the media
coverage tends to blow those things way out of proportion."

"What's already happened to Jenna is relatively rare," Amanda said. "So that
isn't exactly comforting. I'd just feel better if I could keep my eye on
her--that's all. I don't want anything else to happen."

"She's been back at school for quite a few days now--you didn't object before."

"No, sir, but that was before--before I knew everything that Gary did to her."
Amanda clasped her trembling hands tightly in her lap. This wasn't easy--just
talking about it caused images to form in her mind.

"And that changes things?"

"Of course it does--she was drugged, tortured--no child should ever have to go
through something like that."

Dr. Pfaff nodded. "I agree."

"Why would he do that? Frighten her--cause her that kind of pain--when she was
too weak to fight him--she wasn't any threat--he enjoyed causing her pain."
Amanda felt tears on her face now. "I just--I want to know why."

 "Gary Johnston was an abusive man--hurting someone defenseless may have given
him a sense of power and control. Also he might have considered it a punishment
for the earlier escape attempt."

"He's sick--twisted," Amanda spoke softly. "When I met him at that Christmas
party I sensed--I sensed something about him--it creeped me out--I should've
never shown him Jenna's picture--I should've trusted my instincts." She
remembered now--the way he'd snatched the photo from her hands to get a closer
look.

'That someone could hurt a child like that--' That was what Gary had said.
Amanda shivered.

"According to Lee you showed lots of people that photograph--even around the
Agency."

Amanda nodded again. "It was from her Christmas dance recital--I thought it was
cute."

"You've shown off pictures of your boys when they were growing up--even to total
strangers."

"Sure--their Little League photos--junior trailblazers--school plays--but
still--"

"I'm betting that lots of mothers do the same thing--I doubt they think it will
lead to their child's abduction."

"True--but in Jenna's case it did."

"You couldn't have known that--even if you sensed something wrong with Gary.
There are many strange people out there--not all of them snatch children."

"Maybe, but what about when she came home that day? I was out back with
mother--if only I'd been in the house -- I could've stopped it."

"What were you doing out back?"

"Helping Mother with her winter roses--by the time I got back in the house it
was too late--the door was open--Jenna's shoe--her shoe was lying in the snow."
Amanda closed her eyes briefly, remembering the cold, sick feeling that had
spread throughout her body as she'd picked up the shoe--the single tennis shoe--

`Something's happened to my baby--'

"I'm sure there were plenty of other times that you were outside when Jenna came
home."

"Yes--that's the same thing Lee said."

"And Jenna was eleven years old--almost twelve--you were letting her walk home
from school--she wasn't at the age where she required constant supervision, was
she?"

"No--but--"

"The week before you'd dropped her off with two friends to see a movie at the
mall--you were giving her more independence--that's natural for a girl Jenna's
age."

"I don't understand what you're trying to say."

"I'm saying the same thing I told your husband--Gary was determined to get
Jenna--if it hadn't been that day it would've been another day. This wasn't
something you could control."

"Maybe not, but I can control it now--I can spare her any more pain--she's
already had too much to handle--all I want to do is keep her safe."

"By overprotecting her you're reinforcing her belief that the world isn't a safe
place anymore--by trying to protect her from fear and pain you might actually be
exacerbating the problem. You need to accept what happened and try to work from
there."

"How?" Amanda asked. "Jenna's going to have a hard enough time processing all
this herself--I don't want to make things worse--how can I help her?"

Dr. Pfaff was silent for a few moments. "Talking to her might help," he said.
"Both you and Lee together--encourage her to express her feelings about
this--you can tell her how you feel too--not the guilt, but the desire to
protect her--if you open up to her that might encourage her to do likewise.
Also--getting out of the house with Jenna for a little bit might do you all a
world of good. It might not seem like it now, but you will be able to get past
this."

Getting out of the house together--that would be a good idea, Amanda thought.
Already ideas were starting to form in her head. "Yes sir--and thank you."

"Anytime, Amanda."