Dreams and Flashbacks
Chapter 6
By Ermintrude
See part 1 for disclaimers
Monday at the office, Lee arrived early and put the box on the couch up in the Q Bureau. Amanda arrived a little before 9am—and immediately saw the box. Lee was at his desk—pretending to be busy. He was really watching Amanda covertly.
“Lee—do you know anything about this box?” She held it up so he could see it.
He shrugged. “It was there on the couch. It has your name on it—so I figured it was for you.”
She fixed him with an incredulous stare, and he smiled innocently back. She shook her head, and sat on the couch with the box in her hands.
She read the card. “My secret admirer, huh?” She gave him a ‘do you expect me to believe this?’ look, and he just gave her a pleasant smile that gave away nothing.
She shook her head, and unwrapped the box. She read the name of the store, and looked at him in surprise. “Lee…”
“What’s in the box? Open it up so I can see what you got.” He prompted her eagerly.
She rolled her eyes, and opened the box. She drew back the tissue, and pulled out the sweater. Her eyes went wide, and she looked at her partner. “Lee—it’s beautiful.” She rubbed her cheek against the soft fuzzy material. “It’s so soft—I bet it will be really cuddly to wear…” She broke off with a blush at the implications of her words.
“Yeah—soft and cuddly.” He let the implications of his statement hang between them. She looked down blushing furiously.
“Lee—it’s really beautiful—but it’s too much. I can’t take this…”
“If you don’t like it you could return it—if you had the tags, of course.” He said with a shrug.
She looked in the box, but found no tags. “I love it—but someone seems to have taken all the tags—so I guess it can’t be returned.”
“Gee—that’s too bad.” Lee said with studied nonchalance. “I guess you have to keep it then.”
She stared at him hard—seemingly trying to read his mind. Then she relented. “Thank you, Lee it’s beautiful. You really didn’t have to get this for me…”
He shrugged. “I got myself a few new suits and some other stuff. I just saw that and figured it would look nice on you, so I picked it up. It’s no big deal, really…” He ran down and ended up looking a bit sheepish. ‘She’s my partner—for God’s sake. Can’t I buy her a gift if I want to? She’s bought me clothing before—those socks for Christmas a few years ago…’ His mind was busy rationalizing it to himself again.
She stepped up to him and gently kissed his cheek. “Thank you, Lee. It’s beautiful. But it’s too nice to wear at the office. I’ll save it for the next time we need to dress up. I’m making a long skirt that should look great with it.”
“I’ll look forward to it, Amanda.” They were lost in each others’ gaze for a moment—then the phone rang and the spell was broken.
Amanda put the sweater away as Lee answered the phone and their work week began.
Wednesday night Lee and Amanda were assigned to attend a reception for the Bulgarian ambassador. They were to go and mingle—keeping an eye on the dignitaries and on the lookout for anyone making an exchange or passing information. Lee picked Amanda up at 8—she’d not been able to go out to dinner with him—she had to help Philip with his history—he had a test the next day. It was a cool night so the sweater was perfect. She’d made a flowing skirt from a silvery material and she looked like a dream. He told her so and she blushed and shyly thanked him for the compliment.
They spent the evening mingling, drinking champagne, eating canapés and later, dancing. Nothing untoward happened, and it was a pleasant if uneventful evening. Lee was very pleased with his purchase. As they danced, his hand rested on her back and the feel of the soft material warmed by her skin made his head spin. He was lost in the feel of his partner’s body pressed against him as they danced. Then the party was over and he drove her back home. She kissed his cheek softly and thanked him again for the sweater, then she was out of the car and inside her front door. He waited until after the light was out in her bedroom and drove home.
At home Lee undressed and climbed in bed. He recalled the feeling of Amanda in his arms as they danced—and he fervently wished he wasn’t alone. ‘Maybe one day she’ll come back here and we’ll make love all night long…’ Then he shook his head. ‘Amanda’s not that type of woman. She expects a big commitment before she’d agree to any physical relationship…’ And he drifted of to sleep.
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Lee was at the Bulgarian Embassy again—this time with Leslie. She was wearing the black dress he had bought her—but it wasn’t right. It didn’t really fit—it hung crooked, and the strap refused to stay up on her right shoulder. She looked pretty—but with the ill-fitting dress she just didn’t measure up to the rest of the people here. Lee drew her to the dance floor, and they danced. It was pleasant—but something was definitely missing. It just didn’t feel right.
Then the scene changed, and Lee was back in his old apartment with Leslie—they were on the couch and kissing. It was pleasant again—but nothing special. Lee thought about it and wondered if he was losing his touch. They broke apart and Lee whispered her name…“Amanda.” Leslie looked hurt, then sad. His mind replayed the scene when Leslie had walked out of his life.
“Lee—you aren’t interested in me at all. You’d better decide just who it is you want to be dating.”
“Leslie…” He didn’t finish. He couldn’t think of anything to say that would redeem himself with Leslie that wasn’t too revealing or a lie.
She smiled sadly and caressed his cheek. “You are in love with your assistant, Lee. Anyone who sees the two of you together can see that. She loves you and you love her. Why don’t you stop pretending and go after the woman you really want? Do yourself and her a favor—and try dating Amanda. I bet she’ll say yes.”
“You don’t understand—colleagues can’t date at my company…”
The scene shifted and Leslie was standing in front of his desk in the Q bureau. She looked him in the eye. She was being gracious but she was hurt—he could see it in her eyes. “Lee—stop making excuses. You’ve got to stop kidding yourself and everyone else—” She gestured to his partner sitting on the couch, oblivious to the little scene playing out in front of her—she was reading reports. “Go and be with Amanda if it’s Amanda you love—don’t go out and hurt anyone else—don’t hurt yourself—don’t hurt Amanda—she cares for you—anyone can see it when you two are together—you hurt me—and I’m going now. Stop me if you really care for me—stop me if I’m not just a substitute for something you think you can’t have—stop me if you really want me and not your Amanda…” Leslie turned and walked out of the door. He couldn’t bring himself to say or do anything to stop her.
Lee felt awful—usually he was the one to end the relationship—not the woman. But Leslie had been right—he wasn’t interested in Leslie—he realized now that he had wanted Amanda but wasn’t ready to admit it to himself. Amanda was still sitting on the couch reading, and hadn’t noticed his turmoil—which was good for him.
He sat at his desk and pretended to read reports—but his mind was whirling. ‘I never wanted Leslie—’ He looked over at his partner—she looked so beautiful and desirable… ‘I wanted you but I couldn’t have you so I dated Leslie—we never even made love—it didn’t seem right somehow—I wanted you—I loved you but I didn’t know it then—when I said your name—Leslie knew—she knew I loved you before I did—isn’t that funny?—she didn’t think so…’
He hung his head in shame for using Leslie like that. ‘I never meant to hurt her like that—I just—I was being blind—it was easier—I might have seen it too, but I didn’t want to see it so I just ignored it—I’ve ignored a lot lately—’
Then Leslie was standing behind him, whispering into his ear while he stared longingly at his partner. ‘You need to tell your Amanda how you feel about her—you need to show her you love her—you need to be with your Amanda—she needs to be with you—she doesn’t want anyone else—not really—but if you aren’t available—she’ll naturally be with men who do want to be with her—to love her—to marry her—you’d better wake up and do something quickly, because she won’t wait forever for you to make up your mind—she won’t wait forever—she won’t wait—she won’t…’ Leslie faded out but her words echoed in his head.
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Lee awoke in a hot sweat—agitated and confused. Leslie’s words echoed in his head. ‘She won’t wait forever, she won’t wait forever…’
‘Damnit! These dreams are getting worse—stronger—more intense.’ He breathed deeply and clamed his jangling nerves. ‘I haven’t been this nervous about a woman since I was a kid—since High School. It’s Amanda, for heaven’s sake. She’s my best friend—we know each other so well—I can tell her anything—talk to her about anything…’ He hung his head. ‘Except how much I love her.’
He looked at the clock—it was 5:47. ‘Might as well get up and get dressed.’
He started his day—his mind still in turmoil.
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.