Chapter 2
Lee stepped out of the shower, feeling relaxed and refreshed for the first time in weeks. Last night had been wonderful, and waking up with Amanda in his arms had made the past twenty-four hours the most perfect that he could remember since their wedding night. At the office, after the morning staff meeting, Billy had commented that Lee must have gotten a good night's rest, because he wasn't as listless as he had been the past few days. Now, looking at the clock, he realized that it was getting late and he only had about fifteen minutes before he needed to be on the road. He had promised Amanda that he would arrive at the house around six-thirty to pick up Phillip and Jamie.
Lee plopped down on the unmade bed to put on his socks and shoes in preparation to leave. He lingered a moment before bending to begin his task, and looked towards the partially open window, then to the pillow that Amanda’s head had rested upon that morning. A wide smile graced his lips as he thought about their future mornings together. He thought about how, every night from now on, he would be able to watch her sleep with her head nestled against his shoulder, her soft skin caressing his body while she slept. Shaking his head at the effects the images were eliciting from his body, he continued preparing to leave.
Grabbing his wallet from the desk in his bedroom, he looked at the picture of his family that sat proudly next to it. His satisfied smile faltered as he thought of the position Amanda would be in, a few hours from now. A silent prayer filled his thoughts, hoping that Amanda would be all right once her mother found out. She was planning on telling Dotty the whole truth tonight. He had offered to be there when she told her mother, but Amanda had gently refused. "I want to do it alone. I’ve lied to her for the past five years, and I really need to do this by myself, but thank you for the thought," she had told him on the way into the office that morning. As she was leaving the Q-Bureau, he had asked her if she was sure. Amanda had confirmed that she was, by saying that she really needed to spend some quality one-on-one time with her mother. They hadn’t done that in quite a while.
His bright smile returned as he looked around his apartment, verifying that he had everything he would need to for an evening out with his boys. Amanda Stetson had proved, once again, how strong willed she was by wanting to face her mother alone. It was one of the items on his long list of things he loved about her. She never stopped showing him new sides of her personality.
Ten minutes later, he was in his ‘Vette heading toward what was soon to become officially his home. As he pulled into the driveway and put the car in park, he sighed contentedly. "Home. That has to be the most wonderful word in the whole world," he mused happily. Getting out of the car, he heard the sounds of his two stepsons coming from the backyard. Quickly shutting the door, he headed to find out what kind of fun they were having.
Reaching them, he found them shooting hoops. "Hey, fellas."
"Hey, Lee," Phillip shouted as he shoved past his brother and dunked the ball into the hoop.
"Nice shot," Lee offered, smiling at how good at this game his oldest stepson had become.
"You should’ve seen the one Jamie made earlier. I think our games are helping him out," Phillip replied, never looking at Lee, but instead holding the ball and eyeing the basket, trying to figure out the best way to make the next shot.
Lee approached Jamie and patted his shoulder. "I’m sorry I missed it, Chief."
Jamie shrugged, "It was no biggie. Phillip really overrates this game."
Lee could hear the subtle change in Jamie’s voice. Although he and Jamie had gotten closer in the past year, there was still a part of the young man that refused to allow Lee completely inside. Amanda had assured him that it wasn’t anything serious, but Lee felt like he needed to do something to bridge the gap, to bring them closer.
Just then, Amanda appeared in the doorway. "I was beginning to wonder why I stopped hearing the ball bouncing." She walked over and placed a kiss on her husband’s cheek. "I missed you," she whispered.
Jamie rolled his eyes as he walked away, mumbling, "It’s not like you didn’t just see him an hour ago at the office."
Amanda’s keen ears heard the tone of his voice, and wondered what was bothering her youngest son. She watched him walk into the house, and saw Phillip run after him. "Jamie, can you grab my coat while you’re in there."
Lee saw the concern written on her face. "I’m sure it’s something at school. Maybe, tonight, with just the guys, he’ll let something slip." Smiling, he moved closer to Amanda and whispered in her ear, "Not to mention, I just happen to know some good ‘Class C’ interrogation techniques."
"I’m more than aware of your talents," she replied teasingly. Then turning her attention to her husband, she sighed, "Maybe you’re right. Maybe Jamie will say something tonight that will give you an idea of what’s been bothering him. He’s just been extremely down lately. I think he’s jealous of Phillip’s popularity. Not only because he’s on the eighth grade basketball team, but because Phillip is paying more and more attention to girls, than his younger brother. He keeps talking about this girl Angie." She looked once more toward the back door, hoping that maybe Lee could get Jamie to open up to him. "But I’m not entirely sure Jamie’s mood is the result of his older brother’s lack of attention…"
With the boys out of sight, Lee took this opportunity to try and brighten his wife’s mood. Wrapping his arms around her, he pulled her close to him, and kissed her passionately.
Breaking apart, Amanda looked at him. "Keep that up and I may change the plans for tonight."
Lee laughed and shook his head. "You’re the one who wanted to talk to your mother, alone."
Amanda nodded. "I know, and I’m not trying to back out on that…but do you think you could, you know, keep from stirring my blood so much." She grinned playfully at him.
Lee shook his head. "Only if you can find a way to stop being so damn alluring." He bent down and kissed her on the lips again. "And I doubt you’ll be able to find a way to do that…even when we’re eighty."
Amanda smiled. Somehow she knew he was right. Whenever they were together, in the same place, they always found a way to be near each other, to touch each other in some way. Dotty had, on several occasions, accused them of acting like newlyweds. Amanda knew it was her mother’s not-so-subtle way of saying, "it’s time to get married." She would always do her best to keep the amusement from showing on her face. If her mother only knew the truth. Then again, wasn’t that what tonight was all about? Leaning against her husband’s broad chest, she took in the familiar scent of his cologne. She realized that once they were publicly married, the constant need to be near each other would increase. Once everyone knew, it wouldn’t matter who saw them holding hands, or walking with their arms around one another.
One of the reasons they always gravitated to each other’s side wasn’t because of any need to feel secure, but because they felt like more of a team when they were in closer proximity to each other. The other reason, was more a perception of her own. Ever since she had been shot in California, they had been more open and honest about their insecurities. She had told Lee that although she didn’t feel threatened by his previous lovers, once in awhile she would wonder if, one day, he would be sorry he had settled for a woman with a ready-made family. Once she had told him this, he seemed to increase his efforts, when in the company of others, to maintain as much physical contact with her as possible. She could only assume that it was his way of helping to calm her fears.
As if he could sense her thinking those thoughts, Lee would take her hand in his, kiss her tenderly, or simply look at her with eyes that spoke of nothing but the love he felt for her, causing those fears to quickly disappear. On more than one occasion, Lee had told her that while it may have taken him a long time to realize what he had right in front of him, now that they were together, nothing would ever separate them. She knew it was true. They had a special type of connection that made them realize they were meant to be together. She knew it had been destiny that had brought them together at the train station that October morning.
Lee had watched her facial features change. The look of worry had disappeared, and had been replaced by a peaceful calm. He let her stay lost in thought until he saw her eyes begin to moisten. "Hey," he whispered, placing a kiss on her nose. "Penny for your thoughts."
"It’s nothing, just thinking about us and how lucky I am," Amanda smiled.
Before Lee could reply that he, too, was lucky, Phillip bounded back towards them with Jamie sauntering behind. Gently letting Amanda go, he faced his stepsons. "You boys ready for a night of ‘guy’ fun?"
Phillip nodded enthusiastically, while Jamie just shrugged his shoulders. Lee planned on getting to the bottom of his youngest stepson’s problems tonight. If there was one thing he had learned from his partner, it was the art of being a caring and understanding parent. "Well, then, let’s head out." Lee turned back to his wife, "Since it’s a Friday, and there’s no school tomorrow, we’ll be back by ten, okay?" Amanda nodded, and leaning down, Lee kissed her quickly on the lips. "I love you."
"I love you, too," she replied. Phillip rolled his eyes and headed out of the back yard and toward the car. She saw Jamie’s face show a multitude of mixed emotions at the exchange of words, and hoped that Lee would be able to find out what was bothering him. She watched as Lee followed Jamie and Phillip. Once all her "men" were out of sight, she turned on her heels and headed into the house to start the evening with her mother.
After eating the tuna casserole Dotty had made for dinner, Amanda washed the dishes, while her mother dried them.
Dotty watched her daughter carefully. She hadn’t eaten much and seemed a million miles away. "Amanda, Dear. Is everything all right? I mean, you said you wanted to spend time together, but you barely said two words at dinner."
Amanda dried her hands and leaned against the counter. "I could tell you that I’m worried about Jamie, which isn’t entirely off the mark, but the truth is…well…I need to tell you something." Amanda kept her eyes on the den, never looking at her mother, and slipped her hands into the pockets of her jeans. Feeling the cold of the metal as it touched her fingers, she wrapped her hand tightly around the rings she’d placed there for support.
Dotty raised her eyebrows. Her first instinct was that Lee had proposed. "Amanda, Dear, is this about Lee becoming part of the family? Is that why he took the boys out, to make sure it was okay with them, I mean, Valentine’s Day is coming up," she stopped when she saw Amanda slightly shake her head. Dotty began to wonder if Amanda and Lee were having problems. She immediately dismissed that thought; if there was trouble between them, she knew that Lee wouldn’t have taken the boys for a guys’ night out. "Amanda, are you gonna tell me what’s on your mind, or am I gonna have to drag it out of you?"
Amanda sighed and shook her head. "No, Mother, no dragging is needed." Removing her right hand from her pocket, she held it out to her mother. Dotty accepted it, and followed Amanda into the den. Releasing Dotty’s hand, she sat down on the couch and patted the seat next to her.
Dotty joined her, and then turned to face her daughter. Reaching out, she patted Amanda’s knee. She decided to forgo asking or saying anything more. Amanda had something on her mind. She knew her daughter well enough to realize that she would say what she had to say in her own time.
Amanda looked down and studied her mother’s hand. The hardest part was deciding where to start. Thinking back to all the times she’d had to run out, and all the elaborate stories she’d had to create to explain her sudden disappearances, one particular instance kept returning to her mind. ‘It’s better than nothing,’ she sighed. Turning her body to face Dotty, she began, "Mother, do you remember that day you were watching the Arlene Francis show, and that author was going to expose spies living in the suburbs?" Amanda watched her mother’s face grow a little distant as if trying to remember that particular program. When her mother nodded at her recollection of the show, Amanda continued, "Do you remember how he mentioned a mother of two, who almost blew a certain operation?" Dotty nodded again, slower this time, "And do you remember how you thought that it was Gwen Dorsey? Well…"
Dotty’s eyes grew wide with curiosity as the wheels in her mind started to turn. She sat quietly, waiting to hear her daughter’s next words, trying to anticipate where this conversation was headed.
Amanda looked at her mother. "You see…the author wasn’t talking about Gwen. He was referring to me. I’m the one who the author was going mention in that book. I’m the suburban housewife who almost blew ‘Operation Sandstorm.’"
Dotty removed her hand and placed it in her own lap. At first, as the words began to sink in, she was thought about telling Amanda that she didn’t believe her, that this was nonsense. Her daughter—a spy? But then, the memories of her daughter disappearing for hours, even days, on end, canceling personal plans in order to run off on some last minute "photo shoot," and all the unexplained behaviors of the last few years started to make a little more sense. She looked Amanda in the eye, and realized that what her daughter was saying was, indeed, the truth. "Are you trying to tell me that when that Mr. Melrose person invaded our home a year and a half ago, that it wasn’t just some silly brouhaha over a couple of film people?"
Amanda nodded. "Lee and I aren’t film makers, Mother. We’re intelligence operatives…spies. When we ran off, it was because we were falsely accused of selling secrets to the Russians."
Suddenly, Dotty didn’t know what to make of this admission. She thought back, recalling how strange it had appeared that her daughter, seemingly without a care in the world for her family, would run off with a total stranger. Dotty then remembered the first time she had met Lee. The memory of calling Lee the termite man, only to have him introduce himself as Lee Stetson, Amanda’s co-worker, came flooding back. ‘I realize now, that he’d known about me for years, and here I was feeling all flustered because all I could think to say was that I had been picking up the den.’ Shaking her head, trying not to let that memory overcome her sudden feelings of bewilderment, she looked her daughter in the eye. "That day that Lee came over and introduced himself, you weren’t out of town, were you? I mean, he seemed a bit lost and distracted when he stopped by."
Amanda shook her head this time. "No, I wasn’t out of town. Truth is, a Middle Eastern terrorist was holding me as his prisoner." She shuddered at the memory of Addi Birol.
Dotty watched her daughter and began to worry. What kind of life had her daughter led over the last few years? What kind of dangers had she faced? She placed her hand on Amanda’s shoulder for support. "Amanda, are you all right?"
"Yes, Mother. Just a bad memory is all." She reached up and gave her mother’s hand a reassuring squeeze.
"Amanda," her voice held a small hint of agitation, "I don’t know if I’m ready to hear about all the dangers you’ve faced. Besides, I have a sneaky suspicion, from what I’ve read in novels about the spy business, that you probably couldn’t tell me everything even if you wanted to, but…" taking a deep breath, she continued, "I do have one question: how long have you and Lee really known each other?" Dotty asked, her voice now holding a hint of that motherly tone one gets when scolding a child.
Amanda stood and walked over to the French doors. She put her hand in her pocket again. "Four and half years. Mother," Amanda turned to meet her mother’s eyes. In a voice just barely above a whisper, she asked, "Do you remember when I went to take Dean to the train station, and I came home with that strange package, the one I addressed to Aunt Minnie in Maine?"
Dotty nodded, remembering how, after she had told her daughter that she had mailed the package Amanda had run off in the middle of the night, explaining that it was some dry cleaning emergency. That one wasn’t too hard to believe, after all, her clothes had been soaked from falling in the water. Of course, Dotty did remember thinking it odd that Amanda had to run out that very same night, especially when she didn’t know of any twenty-four hour dry cleaners in the area.
"Well, that was the day I first met Lee. He had given me the package that morning, asked me to get on the train, and give it to a man in a red hat. Well, I got on the train, but there were a whole bunch of men with red hats, so I held on to the package. Lee tracked me down in order to get the package back, and well, I kind of got mixed up in it all. I started out working with Lee part-time, and then, we eventually became partners." Amanda stopped and turned back to the doors, looking outside through the glass panes. She wrapped her hand around her wedding band and engagement ring, and pulled them out of her pocket. Putting them on, she slowly turned around to look at her mother.
Dotty had watched her daughter’s hand movements and began to wonder what, exactly, Amanda was doing.
"When you asked me if this was about Lee becoming a part of the family, truth is…it does have to do with that. But, well…not in the sense that you think, you see…" Amanda raised her left hand up and nervously started playing with her heart pendant.
Dotty’s eyes fell on daughter’s ring finger as Amanda’s hand hovered back and forth over her chest. Seeing the gold and diamond rings, the events of a year ago flashed into her mind. Hurt and anger began to course through her body, and she rose to her feet. Standing eye-to-eye with her daughter, she asked, "Amanda…When you were shot in California, were you working? Or were you and Lee really on vacation together?" The question came out in almost a hiss as Dotty tried her best to keep from loosing her temper. She wanted to get some answers, and yelling wouldn’t get them out of her daughter any faster. If they were arguing, rather than calmly discussing things, nothing would get accomplished.
Amanda moved closer and put a hand on her mother’s arm. Shaking her head, her voice cracked as she replied, "No, Lee and I weren’t working, and yes we were on vacation together." Taking a deep breath, she let the next words spill out before she lost her nerve, "Mother, we got married last year, on February 13th. When Lee and I were in California, we were on our honeymoon."
Suddenly the hurt disappeared, and only anger remained. Letting go of the control she had on her emotions, she shrugged Amanda’s hand off of her arm, and began to shout, "I’m your mother! Don’t you trust me? Couldn’t you at least have told me that you were getting married again? I realize that you’ve been lying to me and making up stories for the last…what did you say…five years…but this, Amanda," she picked up her daughter’s left hand, "this I think I was entitled to know about."
"Mother, I’m sorry. I didn’t want to lie to you. I didn’t like lying to you," Amanda interjected. She had steeled herself for her mother’s anger regarding the marriage, and therefore Dotty’s response didn’t feel as much of a slap in the face as it could have. "It’s always been hard lying to you, but I didn’t have a choice. When I started this job, they told me I couldn’t tell you, for reasons of national security, and then, as the years went by, the lies just became a part of the job."
"I understand the national security stuff, Amanda…I don’t like it, but I understand." Dotty’s tone was now more subdued, but still held a hint of anger. "But that doesn’t excuse, or explain, why you felt the need to keep this huge step in your life a secret. Not to mention the fact that I’ve pressed you about marrying Lee for months now, and not once did you tell me that you’d already gotten married." Pausing, a new question formed itself in her mind. Her voice no longer loud, but her tone cold, she asked, "Amanda, why are you telling me now, anyway? Are you pregnant? Are you telling me because you have to?"
Amanda shook her head. "No, Mother. I’m not pregnant. It’s just…" She moved and sat back down on the couch. "Lee and I are tired of living the lie. We want to be a family. We don’t want to lie to anyone about our true feelings for each other, anymore."
Dotty moved and sat on the coffee table in front of her daughter. "I take it you plan on telling the boys then?"
Amanda nodded. "We plan on telling them that we’re married, but not the truth about our real jobs. We’ve already told you and the boys that I.F.F. makes highly classified government films, and that we can’t always talk about them. That’s enough for now. Later, when they’re older, we’ll tell them more about what we really do. For the time being, Lee and I feel that becoming a real family is more important."
"I guess that’s your decision to make. I’m only your mother, after all," she replied sarcastically. Not quite ready to accept wanting to be a family as the only reason for this sudden truth session, Dotty asked, "So you’re telling me that you’ve decided that you want to live together, is that the only reason that you’re suddenly coming clean?"
"Yes, and no." Amanda shrugged. "You’d only known Lee for a few months before we got married, and the boys really didn’t know him at all. Not only that, Lee hasn’t been a part of a family since he was five. His parents were killed in a car accident, and he was raised by his uncle."
Amanda watched as Dotty’s face softened a little at the news of Lee’s parents. Taking a deep breath, she continued, "Then, with the work we do, we thought it would be safer for you and the boys if we kept it a secret. You see…" she paused and raised her hand up to her necklace again. Playing with the pendant she hoped her mother wouldn’t go into a long stream of ‘why would you be working at a job that puts your family in danger’ type questions. "Lee’s made a lot of enemies over the years and they would just love to use the boys as a way to get to him. We realized, awhile ago, that our jobs can be dangerous for the family." She turned her head and focused on the pictures in the bookcase, hoping that in the long run, this decision was the right one. "We’ve recently come to the conclusion that it doesn’t matter whether it’s a secret or out in the open; it’s more important to be a family than pretend we’re not, just to protect everyone." Hearing herself say the words, she confirmed her own doubts that they were indeed doing the right thing.
As Dotty listened to her daughter’s reasons, things started to make a little more sense. She didn’t necessarily agree with them, and it would take some time to forgive her daughter for the secrecy, but she realized how much Lee and Amanda loved each other. The fact that they had given up the true joys of marriage to keep the family safe did hold some merit.
Amanda watched her mother’s face soften even more. "I’ll admit, however, that we were also acting a little selfishly, too, in keeping the marriage a secret We’d spent the first few years getting to know one another, becoming friends, and we wanted some time by ourselves." Absently twirling the rings around her finger, she thought about Lee and the boys, and hoped that they were having a good time. "We both felt that it was important to give the boys time to get to know Lee, and for Lee to really get to know them. Lee wanted so badly to be accepted by them, that it wouldn’t have done any good to ram-rod him down the boys’ throats." She turned to look at Dotty, hoping that her mother would understand their reasons. "It also gave Lee time to become a permanent fixture in their lives, and it gave him time to become comfortable with being a father figure."
The word "father" woke Dotty up. She began to wonder about Joe. Turning she looked her daughter in the eye. "Amanda, does Joe know about your real job…and about the marriage?"
Amanda nodded, but before she could say anything, Dotty was out of her seat, again. Giving her daughter a cold, hard stare, Dotty demanded, "How long has he known?"
Amanda patted the cushion next to her. "Mother, sit down. It’s not as bad as you think."
Dotty reluctantly returned to the couch, but looked straight ahead. It was bad enough learning about this huge secret after so long, but the fact that Joe knew before she did, hurt more than being kept in the dark.
"Joe found out about the Agency, that’s the real name for I.F.F.," Amanda explained as she saw the questioning look in her mother’s features. "I.F.F is just a cover for the Agency. Joe met Lee, for the first time, when he came back from Estoccia. Lee helped clear his name, and saved the boys from some corrupt people who worked at the E.A.O." She turned her body to fully face her mother, who was now staring at her daughter intently. "Joe only thought that the Agency had come to me, to ask me for my assistance in tracking him down. It wasn’t until Lee and I ran off together, that Joe found out I was really a part of the Agency."
Turning her head slightly, Dotty asked bitterly, "How long has he known about the marriage?"
"He found out just before last Thanksgiving. I met him on a Saturday for lunch, and had forgotten to take off my rings."
Dotty cut in, "Is that why he and Carrie didn’t come over for Thanksgiving Dinner?"
Amanda shook her head. "No. They really did have plans to go to Carrie’s parents. Mother, we aren’t really Joe’s family anymore." Putting her hand up to stop the protest her mother was about to utter, she continued, "Yes, Joe is Phillip and Jamie’s father. He always will be, that will never change. But Joe is married again, and he has a new family with Carrie. When I asked him if he wanted to stop by sometime on Thanksgiving Day, he said, given the fact that Lee and I were now married, it was important for Lee to be the only father figure at such a special family dinner."
Dotty rose from the couch, once again, and walked towards the French doors. Stopping at the edge of the coffee table, she asked with an odd edge to her voice, "So where did Lee take the boys? Is he telling them, while you’re here telling me?"
Amanda stood and walked to stand next to her mother. "No. He was giving me some time alone with you, so I could mend some fences. We plan on telling the boys together, but I asked Lee to let me talk to you alone." She placed her hand tentatively on her mother’s arm. "I’m sorry, Mother. I’m sorry for all the lies and the secrecy." Moving to face her mother, tears forming in her eyes, she said earnestly, "I owe you a big thank you."
Dotty raised her eyebrows questioningly. "A thank you?"
Amanda nodded. "Yes. A huge thank you. Thank you for being here for me these last few years. Thank you for being a second mother to the boys. I couldn’t have made it to where I am today without your support."
Dotty’s anger slowly started to subside. She wasn’t, however, ready to forgive her daughter. "I love you, Amanda, and I’m truly happy for you. Even if I feel like I don’t know my little girl anymore, I still love you, and I have grown to love Lee like a son." Putting a hand up, she continued, "However, as glad as I am to know that he’s already a member of this family, it’s going to take me a long time to get over the pain caused by you keeping all of this information from me. Don’t ask me how long, because I truly don’t know. It’s going to take me quite awhile to get over the hurt of being kept in the dark and lied to for so long." Wiping a tear from her daughter’s cheek, her tone became serious. "But…from now on, I expect you…and Lee, to be honest with me. No more secrets. Understood?"
Amanda nodded. "I’m sorry, and I promise that Lee and I will do our best to keep you out of the dark, about anything we can, from now on."
"I guess I can accept that." Dotty leaned in and pulled her daughter into a hug. "Now, what do you say we have some of that chocolate mint ice cream I saw hiding in the freezer, and pop in a good movie?"
Stepping out of the comforting embrace, a wave of relief flowed through Amanda; she was glad that her mother hadn’t decided to go off on her own, and still wanted to spend the evening with her. Amanda realized that she had a lot of making up to do, but for tonight, she intended to enjoy spending some quality time with her mother, especially now that these secrets had been revealed. After her mother’s wounds had healed, Amanda knew that the closeness they had shared, before all the lying and secrecy had begun, would return stronger than ever.
Smiling, Amanda replied cheerfully, "I think that’s a wonderful idea. Why don’t you pick out the movie, and I’ll go scoop the ice cream." Dotty nodded, and as she moved towards the video cabinet, Amanda headed into the kitchen to fix dessert.
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.