Annihilation of Innocence
By M.C.Hart
chelbingo@yahoo.com
Chapter One
Lee groaned softly against her lips, feeling the sharp edges of her nails racking along his scalp. Increasing the pressure of his kiss, he allowed his own hands to begin an exploration of their own, drinking in the scent of the woman in his arms.
The small couch they were situated on suddenly felt two times too small as he leaned her back, lowering his fevered kisses to her throat. "Hmm… I've missed you," he whispered seductively, intertwining his fingers in her soft hair as his other hand moved lower, caressing her slim hips.
"Not as much as I've missed you," she returned in a throaty reply, sighing beneath his touch. "It's only been a day and… I've thought of nothing but your arms, your kisses."
Lee smiled slightly, nibbling along her bare shoulder, his finger delicately lifting and teasing the thin strap that held her dress in position across her shoulder. "I could still smell your perfume…" he growled, following the line of his finger with his mouth. "Even after I left so abruptly last night…"
"I'm sorry… I didn't know we were going to be interrupted by…"
"Shhh… It's all right. Tonight nothing is going to stop us," he whispered, lifting his gaze to stare back up into her bright eyes. "It's going to be perfect."
She smiled, lowering his face slowly toward her, engulfing his sweet wonderful lips yet again. Sighing deeply, she gave herself to the man holding her tight, feeling the strength of his body firm along her slim torso. The power he held at bay, just waiting to be unleashed upon her was evident in his forceful embrace.
Working her hands through his soft, velvety hair, she slid them downward, running her fingers beneath the collar of his shirt, fighting to feel more than just material beneath them. Lee, sensing her desire to go farther, slid back slightly from her squirming body and allowed her to dislodge his suit jacket from his shoulders, pushing it away with force. He worked his arms out slowly, feeling her hands continuing their exploration down his sides until the jacket fell to the floor beside the couch.
"Hmmm… much better," she breathed as he left her tingling lips with a tiny kiss. "Now for the tie…" Leaning up, she expertly began to loosen it from its resting-place along hid neck as Lee simply sat, smiling at her. "I can't wait to see you," she whispered, kissing his chin.
"I can't wait to see you," he returned, caressing her shoulder softly. "You look gorgeous in that dress… I bet you're going to look even better without it," he teased, running his fingertip upward to her ear, teasing the dangling diamond earring resting there.
With one last twist and tug, his tie came free and dropped downward, falling against the discard jacket below. "Hmmm… I can say the same about you," she agreed, kissing him passionately as her fingers quickly did away with the constricting buttons along his throat.
The moment his shirt opened to her she slid a warm hand inside, caressing and exploring his skin beneath. "So strong…" she purred, lowering her lips down his throat.
Holding her close, Lee closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "Thank you," he whispered, rubbing his fingers down the softness of her back.
As she pulled away from him, leaving a wet trail of kisses across his upper chest, she smiled, allowing her hands to quickly begin unfastening the rest of his shirt buttons. "I think it's time to get a bit more comfortable…"
Lee reached around, taking her hands quickly in his, bringing them to his mouth slowly kissing each digit tenderly. "Oh I agree, you're a vision from the Gods, but lets take this slow. I want to remember every inch of your body, every whimper, every sound that escapes those beautiful lips of yours," he breathed, sucking a finger slowly into his mouth for a quick nibble.
She groaned, closing her eyes, leaning her body against his on the couch. "What do you suggest we do?" she questioned breathlessly. "I'm on fire for you Lee, I've been thinking about nothing else since last night."
"I know," he returned, kissing her hair as he wrapped his arms around her softly. "How about some wine? We'll have a little wine, then take this where ever it's meant to be," he suggested hopefully.
"Promise?" she teased, tracing his lips with her fingernail.
"Guaranteed," he assured her with a grin.
She nodded as he released her slowly, leaving her with a taste of things to come when he engulfed her mouth quick and fierce then rose and stepped across the room. "You know, you're nothing but a big tease."
Lee jerked his head around quickly, the bottle of wine he had selected held forgotten before him. "What? Why would you say that?" he asked.
She laughed, rising from the couch in one smooth motion, crossing the room toward him. "For the last three days, all I've thought about was getting you into my bed and we've yet to make it there," she teased, running her finger across his cheek.
"Last night was not my fault," he retorted shaking his head.
"I know my love," she returned rubbing against his arm as he popped the cork with a grunt. "I hope tonight will fair better."
"Oh trust me, tonight we're going to make it to the bed, I need to be with you," he returned, kissing her nose softly. "Now, why don't you go on into the bedroom and get… more comfortable… and I'll be in with the wine in just a moment," he suggested, giving her a smile.
"It's a deal my handsome lover," she agreed, leaving him with a slow lingering kiss, then a pat on the butt as she grinned, disappearing through the bedroom door.
Lee took a deep breath, shaking his head as he quickly grabbed two glasses and poured the wine. Closing his eyes, he stood there, calming his racing-heart and gave her a few moments to change. Picking up the glasses he eyed them a moment, then turned and moved toward the bedroom. "Are you decent?" he asked in a teasing tone.
"No, but you may come in anyway," was her seductive reply.
He nudged the half-opened door aside and smiled immediately seeing her lying across the bed in little more than a white lacey teddy. "Wow," he whispered, nodding his head in approval. "Were you wearing that all night, or did you just change?"
"Do you like it?" she asked stretching her form alluringly.
"Oh yes, but I'm sure I'm going to like it even more when it's piled in a heap on the floor," he admitted softly.
"Hmmm… that does sound exhilarating, doesn't it?" she breathed, rising to her knees and meeting him at the side of the bed.
"A toast my love," he whispered, handing her a glass as he kissed her tenderly. "To new found passion."
"And crumbling marriages," she returned with a twinkle in her eyes.
Lee sighed, giving her a look. "Cassandra, you said you won't bring that up," he chided sternly. "I don't want to talk about that. I just want to be with you."
"I'm sorry my love," she teased laughing. "I know that was a low blow. Come here, let's forget all about your troubles…"
"A toast," he repeated, smiling into her eyes, clicking their glasses together lightly.
"A toast," she agreed, taking a drink as Lee met her eyes. He swallowed his down in one drink, nodding his head as she finished hers in two. "Now can we please get on with the more pleasant things the night holds?" she questioned, reaching out to hand him the glass and proceed to finish the unbuttoning she'd started in the other room.
"Gladly," he breathed, sitting the glasses down on the table as she drew his shirt out of his pants. With a smile, he leaned over and engulfed her into his arms, lowering her to the bed.
Feeling her hands exploring his body with a fever, Lee kissed her heatedly, caressing her body with his. His hands intertwined in her long blonde locks, pulling and tugging as he gave himself to the woman in his arms. She groaned, biting his lips weakly when he pulled back, smiling down at her. "Hmmm… you taste good," he teased, lowering his lips to her neck. "I can't wait to experience all of you…"
Holding her close, he kissed his way along her throat, biting and nibbling at her skin as he applied himself to the task at hand. She sighed softly, closing her eyes as Lee smiled against her neck. He pulled back after a moment, staring down at the woman in his arms. "I think it's time to move on with the next step of this little endeavor don't you, Cassandra?" he whispered, holding her in his embrace.
* * *
"Cassandra?" Lee whispered softly, kissing her gently on the chin. "Cassandra, can you hear me?" he asked again, a small smile forming on his face. "Hmmm… guess not," he muttered to himself as he slowly untangled his longer form from that of the limp woman beneath him.
With a deep breath he stood, observing the sleeping woman sprawled out before him and shook his head, adjusting his shirt about his shoulders. "Nothing like a little neutralizing agent to put a damper on things," he said quietly, glancing toward the two wineglasses on the nearby table. "Thank you Leatherneck."
Reaching down and jerking the end of the coverlet across her still form, he turned without further thought and quickly buttoned his shirt, shoving it back into the waistband of his pants as he made his way into the living room.
Moving toward the far wall he felt along the frame of the large self portrait of the woman laying unconscious in the other room, that was hanging proudly on the crème colored surface. He'd witnessed all he needed to see earlier tonight when she had taken her earrings from the very same wall safe, allowing him to discover its location without the aid of prompting her. 'Some women are just too trusting,' he thought with a smile. As his fingers contacted the small hinge, he activated it carefully, swinging the picture, frame and all away to reveal the hidden safe.
Without hesitation he went to work, laying his ear close to the mechanism, listening intently as the tumblers inside slipped around, clicking rhythmically as he hunted for the correct combination.
With a quiet sigh, he pulled back, grasping the small handle and gave it a tug. The safe swung open exposed its contents to his smiling face. "There you are," he breathed, reaching inside to pull out a small nondescript box. Opening it quickly, he insured that the micro-dot he had been in search of was inside before quickly closing it and shutting the safe again, replacing the picture back to its original position. 'Smart thinking trying to hide it in a jewelry case, but stupid to trust me after only knowing me for three nights. Your daddy should have taught you better,' he thought smugly.
Hurrying over to the couch, he grabbed his jacket and tie off the floor, shouldering into it quickly as he moved toward the door. Glancing around one last time, to insure he left nothing behind, he slid out into the hall and quietly closed it behind him, shoving the small box into his coat pocket.
Taking the stairs two at a time, he made his way down to street level of the apartment building, adjusting the collar of his jacket. Smoothing his hair down, he pushed the outer doors opened and moved down the steps to the sidewalk as if he was simply leaving his girlfriend's apartment for the night.
Before he even reached the bottom step a sliver corvette rounded the corner and pulled up along side the curb, allowing him to step directly toward it without hesitation. Bending he opened the passenger side door, swinging his long form inside. The car sped away from the building and into the street before he had even shut the door.
"I got it," he breathed, pulling the box out and handing it over with a sigh. "I swear to God, this is the last time I let him do something like this to me!" Lee growled, shaking his head, running his hands quickly through his hair as the driver took the box without a word. "I refuse to be put in this situation again!" Frustrated he threw his wrinkled up tie against the windshield and slunk down weakly into the seat, unable meet the eye of his companion as he begin to slowly peel away the fake fingerprints he'd had adhered to his hands.
"You handled yourself very well," a soft voice assured him quietly in the dark car. "I was wondering how you were going to get that wine into her."
"Oh God… it was horrible," he muttered shaking his head. "She nearly caught me, if I hadn't been able to get her into that damned bedroom… that was too close, Manda. She nearly had me," he hissed in disgust popping the glove box opened and pulling out the small container where he quickly deposited the tiny destroyed pieces of latex.
"Hmm… I noticed," she observed calmly. "Getting a little hot under the collar was it?" she asked in a teasing tone, giving him a glance.
"That is not funny," he growled, glancing toward her, slamming the small compartment shut again. "I was starting to get desperate in there. She wouldn't keep her hands off me. She nearly undressed me on the damned couch…
"I heard, she was very persistent."
Reaching up he jerked the microphone out of his collar and pitched it haphazardly onto the dash with his tie. "I'm sick of this. There's no reason I should have been up there with that woman! I'm a married man! There are other agents out there to do this shit," he muttered dejected. "It's not right for my wife to have to sit out in the car and listen to that crap. I wanted to throw up every time she kissed me." He shuttered roughly, rubbing his arms. "I need a shower."
"Yes you do," Amanda observed, turning the corner. "You reek of her perfume."
With that remark, Lee lifted the front of his shirt and sniffed it skeptically. "I do don't I?" he confessed wrinkling up his nose. "Sorry, couldn't help it," he whispered, posting his elbow on the door and dropping his chin into it. "Just get us to the Agency and I'll see about washing some of that off after we talk to Billy."
"Here," Amanda pressed, holding out a paper napkin she dug from between the seats. "Wipe that lipstick off your neck. What did she do to you, try to eat you alive?" she questioned with a look as they slid beneath several streetlights.
"Pretty much," he grumbled, taking the offered napkin and wiping his neck roughly. "I mean it Amanda, I'm not doing this again. I'll tell Billy we're married before I let another one of those women get their hands on me."
"How do you think I feel? I'm the one down here listening to you panting and groaning like an animal in heat," she retorted.
"Oh please…" he muttered. "I did not. I do not pant and groan and I especially don't act like that in another woman's arms. I was just trying to make it realistic."
"Uh-huh…" she returned, clearly not buying it, but trying to hide the smile from forming on her face. Her voice however wasn't as successful and Lee immediately picked up the lightness of her tone.
He grinned, leaning toward her over the partition between the seats. "Okay, so I panted a little," he teased, kissing her throat. "But I only moan for you," he managed, kissing her silky skin.
"And it’s a good thing too," she said finally giving in to the laughter as she tried to push him away. "Sit still before you cause me to send the car into the ditch. No kissing," she warned pointing a finger at him. "Not until we shower that stench off you."
"We?" Lee asked, grinning as he playfully dove for one last taste of her scrumptious skin. "Sounds like fun."
"Sit!" she commanded, pushing him back into his seat. "And I'm only doing it to make sure you wash good."
"Uh-huh… no ulterior motives, huh? Just a strict scrub and rub?" he asked easing himself back to his side of the car. "You taste great you know that?" he added reaching out to caress her jaw. "You're so beautiful Manda, thank you for not being angry with me," he whispered sincerely.
"You've done nothing to cause my anger, Lee. You didn't go up to her apartment willingly, Billy ordered you to."
He sighed, relaxing back in the seat as she drove them through the quiet streets of town, never stilling his gentle touch along her skin. "I know, but it takes a hell of a woman to sit down here and listen to what I had to do upstairs, whether it was willing or not. I know I couldn't do it."
"Yes you could, if the situation was reversed and I was the one upstairs in a peacock dance with a man, you'd sit down here and growl the whole time you had to listen, but you'd do it," she returned smiling, turning her head to kiss his fingertips.
He chuckled, shaking his head in the flickering darkness. "You are so wrong," he admitted. "I'd be taking those stairs two at a time and throttling the man who was trying to lay hands on my wife. I'm the jealous type remember? You've told me that enough over the years."
"Only in the most affectionate of ways," she laughed.
"So see, this is a one sided street. I really can't see how you do it," he continued, looking at her profile. "Regardless of what you heard, I was repulsed just being there with her. I'm just thankful that Leatherneck's little concoction worked as quick as it did," he groaned, closing his eyes, his fingers sliding around the back of her neck, rubbing the tightness he felt there. "I swear if I had to kiss any lower than I already was, I'd have thrown up on her."
Amanda's soft laughter filtered through the car, drawing his attention. "You think that's funny?" he asked in surprise.
"Yeah I do. The great Scarecrow throwing up on one of his women is not a picture of romance," she teased.
"There was no romance involved tonight," Lee returned smiling. "Besides, the great Scarecrow has been tamed you know. I heard he gave it up for a little sexy Arlington housewife a couple of years ago. Rumor has it that he's living happily in the lap of romance as we speak, enjoying the down time and reaping the rewards of normal life."
"Is that right?"
Lee nodded happily. "I have it on very good authority." Leaning over he stole another quick kiss, then sank back into his seat. "So, it's nearly one in the morning, you don't have to go home when we're done at the Agency do you?" he asked hopefully.
"No I told mother I would be working late into the night. She's not expecting me. I thought that once we had wrapped this up we could go back to the apartment and rekindle our own romantic embers. Kinda like a consolation prize for your attempts upstairs."
Lee grunted, giving her a look momentarily stilling his hand along the back of her neck. "If you're the consolation prize, I sure as hell don't want the other. I'm quite content right where I'm at, thank you very much. Being married to you is the best thing that's ever happened to me Manda. Even if we do have to keep it secret," he added quietly.
He looked toward her again, giving her a soft smile when she turned in his direction. "No more peacock dances, I promise. This is the last one. I don't care if Billy does threaten to send me to Iceland, I'm refusing them," he said firmly. "He's just going to have to find someone else from now on. I'm putting my foot down. A married man shouldn't have to be subjected to something like that. It's degrading."
"I know, honey," Amanda whispered, reaching out and squeezing his thigh lightly before rubbing it slowly. "It's hard sometimes watching Francine get out of all those sticky situations because her marriage is common knowledge. All we can do is grit out teeth and argue."
"Which does absolutely no good," Lee grumbled. "Billy doesn't understand, Dr. Smyth's spouting his damn nursery rhymes and watching every move we make like he knows something he shouldn't. And then there's Francine who's sitting back pretty as you please unable to wipe that damn smile off her face because she knows she's safe from having to seduce every Joe Blow from here to the Great Lakes!"
He took a deep breath, trying to calm his building exasperation. "I know she's only been married for a month, I know she's happy and excited… I'm happy for her and I know you are too, hon… but it's just that…" exhaling he shook his head. "I guess I'm jealous that she can openly display her love and I have to hide mine," he confessed in a small voice, reaching over his lap to take her hand and intertwine their fingers tightly. "We've been married almost a year and nobody knows about it except us."
"Francine isn't working with her husband," Amanda reminded him tenderly, glancing toward his still form. "She doesn't have to worry about being separated or jerked out of the field."
"I know, but if tonight is any indication of what we're going to have to keep going through in the field, then I'd say it's grossly overrated," he muttered in a hard tone. "Maybe we should consider other options."
"Perhaps, but you're in no condition to be talking about that tonight and neither am I. Lee, we're tired, and neither one of us are all that pleased with what went on earlier with Cassandra. Let's just finish up at the Agency, go back to our apartment and get a good nights sleep… together," she suggested squeezing his fingers. "We'll take this up another time."
"Yeah," he agreed quietly. "I'm ready to spend some time with my wife."
"And your wife's ready to spend some time with you," she whispered smiling. "It's over, we can put it behind us and get on with our lives."
Lee sighed, looking out the window. "Yeah sure… until next time…"
* * *
When they stopped by the Agency, Lee was surprised to find Billy still in attendance despite his earlier words. He had expected his Section Chief and friend to have left long ago, not still sitting behind his desk, coffee in hand. All thoughts of simply dropping the micro-dot off and heading home quickly evaporated from Lee's mind when he saw Billy occupying his office.
"He's still here. I'm going to talk to him," he stated, slipping away from Amanda. "I'll be back in a little bit."
"Lee… don't you think tomorrow would be better? After you've calmed down," she suggested hopefully.
"Nope, now is perfect," he returned, giving her a quick smile before knocking on the door and disappearing inside.
Amanda sighed shaking her head as she quietly sat down in one of the empty chairs near the coffee machine. This was one conversation she didn't want to be present for. Lee was agitated enough without having her standing beside him. If she had followed him inside her presence would have only stirred the embers of the fire already burning out of control over where he'd had to spend the last three nights and with who. It was better to sit here and wait for whatever fallout occurred and try to douse his anger later.
'Besides,' she thought quietly. 'After what I had to listen to tonight, I’m emotionally drained. I don't need to hear the two of them arguing on top of that.'
* * *
Billy Melrose looked up in surprise when he saw the identity of his visitor. "You've got it?" he demanded, starting to smile.
Stepping forward Lee dropped the small jewelry box on the center of Billy's desk amid the scattered reports. "One micro dot containing the names of our eastern block allies. I suggest we don't let this fall into the wrong hands again," he stated with a hard look.
"Did you have any problems?" Billy asked, carefully removing the micro-dot and checking it quickly with an eye magnifier.
"With the procedure no," Lee breathed, "With the mission itself, yes."
Hearing his words and tone Billy lowered the micro-dot back into the case and looked toward his apparently upset agent. "What's going on?" he questioned, motioning toward a nearby chair.
"I can't do this anymore Billy. I won't do it," he pressed, opting to stand and pace in front of the desk as opposed to sitting as his boss suggested. "I told you before that I wasn't comfortable with doing Peacock dances. I don't want to be put in this situation again!" he growled, shaking his head. "There are other agents you could…"
"Lee…" Billy interrupted sternly, trying to stop the explosion he knew was coming.
Taking a breath, Lee shook his head to ward off Billy's attempted diversion. "No, I mean it," he returned.
"I know you do," Billy retorted sharply overriding his harsh tone. "I didn't want to send you into that type of situation but I didn't have any choice. When it came to my attention that we had been compromised I needed my best team. You and Amanda are it. You know how vital this information is. I couldn't take the chance of it falling further out of our control…"
"If Marlow wouldn't have screwed up…"
"Jordan is being dealt with for his little participation in this blunder," Melrose assured him quickly.
"Good." Lee visibly relaxed, dropping down in the proffered chair as Billy's words sank in.
"I'm sorry you and Amanda had to be put through that," Billy continued softly. "The relationship you two have is…"
"I just hate that she had to sit down in the car and listen to all that," he breathed, shaking his head in disgust as his mind played back the things his wife had to endure via the earphones.
"Would you have rather taken someone else with you?" Billy inquired seriously watching Lee closely as the younger man gazed toward the floor.
Lee immediately shook his head. "No, if I had to do it I wanted Amanda there." The fact of the matter was, he doubted he could have gone through with the whole escapade without knowing she was downstairs, listening to his every movement and word. It was one thing to pretend to cheat on his wife it was another to have to fill her in yet again after it was all over with. That he couldn't do.
He refused to relive the activities to Amanda, knowing the way he had to touch that woman, the area's he had to kiss and caress. He fought down another shudder as his stomach churned dangerously at the prospect. 'No, it's better she was there, listening and keeping track of my movements. If she hadn't been down there, there's no way in hell I could have gone through with that without her unspoken support and trust in me.'
"The point is I don't want to do things like that anymore. That part of my life is over Billy, you know that. It's not a thrill anymore… it hasn't been for a long time," he confessed quietly.
Looking up from where he'd been studying his hands intently, Lee caught the beginning of a smile forming on his friend's features at his words. Normally he didn't open up and doing so felt so strange and out of place for him that he wasn't sure if he'd said too much or not. He knew Billy was aware of his feelings for Amanda. They had had many talks late at night about their field positions and the fact that he was seriously considering a desk job to pull himself out of the constant line of fire.
Billy was someone he could talk to that could relate to his problem. He didn't know the extent of their relationship, but even before Lee had told him, Billy was well aware of the fact that they liked each other more than in a passing fancy. He hadn't yet really faced the situation of their field assignments with his wife. He wanted to have an assortment of options available to him before crossing that bridge.
One thing he did know was that Amanda cherished her job. She was an independent and proud woman despite what Francine constantly teased about in passing. She had struggled and fought hard for her position, not only as his partner, but as a stand-alone agent as well. He wasn't about to overstep his boundaries and try to push her. When and if they made any decision it would be made together. Joe hadn't allowed her to have a say in their marriage and Lee knew better than to make that mistake again. She was as much a part of this as he was and whatever was to be decided, they would decide together.
"I know," Billy agreed, drawing him back to the present. "I do want to thank both of you for this," he added holding up the small box containing the micro-dot. "Consider it a personal favor. I owe you one."
Lee matched his expression with a quick nod. "Just try and keep us out of this situation in the future and that's payment enough. I know this isn't a nine to five office job, so does Amanda. It isn't like we can pick and choose what we get involved in, but I really feel strong about this."
"I understand," Billy acknowledged. "You know I'll do my best Lee."
"I know," he agreed rising from the chair.
"Now get out here and go home. You look dead on your feet and you've got lipstick on your neck," he added, motioning toward the door. "It's not your color," he teased lightly. "Take a shower and go to bed."
Lee's hand instantly moved to his throat rubbing at the offending area. "Yeah sure… thanks," he muttered opening the door. "See you tomorrow."
Amanda rose to her feet looking toward him expectantly as Lee shut the door behind him. "Ready?" he asked, reaching out to lay his free hand along her back. "Do I still have lipstick on me?" he questioned continuing to wipe at his neck.
"A little," she admitted, brushing his hand away as they stepped back out into the corridor. "Just leave it alone. All you're doing is smearing it around. The only thing that's going to take it all off is soap and water. Let's get you home and cleaned up," she suggested smiling.
"Gladly," he agreed with a grin, hugging her against his body quickly before pulling back to a safe distance.
* * *
Being as careful as he could so as not to wake his sleeping wife, Lee slid his arm from beneath the pillow and drew back the thick comforter. Rising slowly from the bed he quietly stepped to his dresser opened the drawer and drew on a pair of sweatpants. Amanda muttered something incoherent in her sleep, shifting position as she rolled over, drawing the majority of the blankets along with her.
Lee smiled softly at her trim form snuggled deeply in the warmth of their bed and drew a weary hand through his hair. Making his way out of the bedroom he crossed the expanse of his living room and switched on the small table lamp near the kitchen as he helped himself to a bottle of water off the second shelf of the icebox.
Twisting the cap off he absently pitched it into the trash taking a deep drink as he stepped back to the sofa and sank down on the edge of the cushion cradling the cool bottle in his hand. 'I am so lucky,' he thought happily, his gaze on the sleeping form of his wife across the dark room, her upper body framed through the bedroom door from the limited moonlight filtering across the bed.
'How could I have ever thought the life I was leading before was fulfilling? How did I survive without knowing what true love really was? She has shown me so much.' Shaking his head in wonder he took another deep drink, his eyes drifting to the small double 5x7-frame sitting near the lamp.
The still images of Jamie and Phillip smiled back at him. When the boys had presented their school pictures to him he had been nearly struck speechless in honor and surprise. Though he had been an active part of the family during the last two years, this was the first time the boys had graced him with the privilege of photos.
Dotty had even made the moment more monumental by telling him that they had given Joe the same size photo after the boys had gone upstairs. He had gone out the next day and purchased the beautiful double gold frame they now resided in and proudly displayed his stepsons portraits for all to see in his living room.
Amanda had been tickled by his actions and a bit surprised that he hadn't put the pictures in his bedroom, away from prying eyes. He had responded with the fact that anyone gracing his living room would probably already know that he and she were involved to a point, and him having the boys pictures on his table would be a given fact. He cared about her family, their family, and he wasn't about to hide the fact from anyone. All their close friends knew he could be found with Amanda and the kids if he wasn't home, Billy had come to expect it. He had received as many, if not more calls at her place as he did at his.
Taking another drink Lee smiled slightly, leaning back on the couch. 'Who would have thought the Lee Stetson of five years ago would have turned out to be such a great family man?' he wondered lightly, thinking of the weekend plans he and Amanda had made with the boys. Saturday night was set aside for their traditional movie night and Sunday he planned on extracting a little revenge that was certainly due after last weeks Monopoly game.
With the weather turning cooler most outdoor activities like the picnics, camping trips and basketball games they had been enjoying were put on hold and they had to resort to more indoor pastimes.
Movie night was a big deal with the boys since they knew going with him to the video store allowed them the opportunity to pick any title they choose as long as it didn't involve too much skin. Their mother wasn't so open minded, but he'd been able to sway her to his way of thinking enough times to broaden the boys scope of entertainment. They'd order pizza and spend the night curled up in the den immersed in their cinematic adventures.
He enjoyed those nights tremendously, feeling like a true member of the family. Surrounded by the ones he loved he could easily forget that they didn't know about the secret marriage and he could actually feel the roll of fatherhood.
Game night was another experience that he had discovered he enjoyed. Jamie was the one to instigate that little activity a few weeks ago when they'd all been housebound due to a thunderstorm roaring its way across the area. Since then, at least once a week, he and Amanda where pulled into the dining room and slaughtered by the boys.
He grinned in the darkness remembering how brutally they had beat him last Sunday night at Monopoly. 'I really need to check the rules on this merging principle,' he thought absently. After the two of them had combined their properties and money he and Amanda had gone down in a flash. 'That has got to be illegal.'
Stretching his shoulder muscles, then popping his neck, he sighed as the fatigue in his body brought him back to the present and out of his pleasant thoughts. Closing his eyes, he knew he should be in bed, lying next to Amanda sleeping, but his mind refused to allow it. As hard as he tried, he hadn't been able to succumb to slumber as easily as his wife after their night of passion.
Despite her words and actions he still felt soiled after what he'd been forced to do tonight. Being with Amanda, feeling her arms and lips across his body had erased those unsettling thoughts temporarily, but once the bliss of their union had eased from his body, leaving him lying in the darkness, he couldn't shake the face of Cassandra from his mind.
'The one place I never want to be is in another woman's arms and that's exactly where I was tonight!' he growled inwardly, still chastising his actions of earlier. 'How can I prove to Amanda that I plan on being faithful to her unconditionally when crap like this keeps popping up?'
Even though he knew she held none of his past against him, nor felt intimidated or threatened by all his women, still deep inside, he himself felt the need to prove to her that he was willing to go the distance. Being a one-woman man was something new to him. Before Amanda had stepped into his life he had never really considered the prospect of a steady relationship, in fact, he normally ran the other direction when things became too intense.
Aside from a time or two that he could think of, never in his life had he considered settling down. 'I just wasn't the type. I was in it for the kicks, the sensations and thrill, I didn't want commitments and I sure as hell didn't see myself playing house with any of those girls for more than a few hours.' Disgusted he swallowed another mouthful of water, rubbing his face weakly. 'I'm not a playboy! I want nothing to do with that lifestyle anymore. I don't want to have to associate with those types of women!'
Exhaling slowly he sank down further into the cushions of the couch, covering his face with his hand. 'I'm not even the same person that picked Amanda out of that crowd at the train station all those years ago. It might have taken me a while, but she finally opened my eyes to the real world around me and by damn I refuse to go back!'
Feeling warm hands touch his chest Lee jumped sharply at the abrupt caress, opening his eyes. "I'm sorry," Amanda whispered, leaning down over him. "I didn't mean to startle you. I woke up and you were gone. When I saw you sitting in here in the dark, I thought I'd see what propelled you from our bed."
"It's okay. I just couldn't sleep," he confessed holding out his hand as she sank down across his lap. His heart was still racing in his chest as he gave her a smile and leaned forward planting a tender kiss along her temple. She settled down against him, wrapping her arm around his shoulder. "Hmm… you're warm," he breathed, feeling her creamy skin along his chest.
"I've been under the warm covers," she returned, lifting her hand to brush back a stray lock of hair from his forehead. "What's bothering you sweetheart? I'd have thought you'd be sleeping like a baby after we enjoyed ourselves so intensely."
"I know," he muttered, laying his head against hers. "I just can't stop thinking about earlier, Manda. I damn near had to sleep with that woman. That's not something I'm proud of."
"I'm not real proud of that either, but it is our job description, Lee."
"My job description is not sleeping with women that are not my wife," he retorted sharply shaking his head.
"That's not what I meant and you know it," she corrected, touching his chin. "Sometimes we have to do things we don't agree with to get the job done. It's not pretty, nor is it pleasant, but we have to do it."
She gave him a small smile in the soft light filtering across the room. "I know you don't like shooting people anymore than I like carrying that gun you gave me, but we do it. This is the same thing," she pressed tenderly, leaning in to give him a light kiss on the cheek. "I didn't want you up there fondling that woman anymore than you did, but we had to obtain that micro dot, Lee. I don't love you any less for what took place in that room, honey. You were just doing your job," she tried to assure him.
"I know," he sighed, squeezing her against him. "And I am thankful for your understanding. It's just that… every time I close my eyes I see her face, Manda. It shouldn't be like that. Yours is the only face I want in my dreams," he whispered truthfully.
There was a long pause of silence between them, him just holding her close, his eyes shut, feeling the warmth of her small body on his. He felt he could tell her anything, she was his better half, she was his very existence. Even though it hurt to think about what he nearly had to do tonight, he knew he had to share his feelings with her or he would never get over this.
There was just something about her that made him want to open up and bare his soul. The more time he spent with her the easier it became. As much as he once tried to hide his feelings and emotions inside, now he was just as willing to share and be heard. Amanda had a magical quality about her that he couldn't resist. He didn't want to resist, he wanted to go to her with open arms and embrace all she had to share with him.
"Did she arouse you?" she asked seriously after several beats, stroking his jaw. "I know she was beautiful…"
"No… no it's not like that," he corrected quickly, cutting her off, looking into her eyes. "I felt nothing in her arms, she isn't what I want. She didn't hold a candle to you in looks or personality," he whispered, seeing the smile his words caused fill her features. "I just keep thinking how close I came to having to take her to bed. If Leatherneck's potion hadn't worked so quickly…" he shook his head in defeat. "That's the last thing I ever want to happen. Making love… no, having sex," he corrected himself, "with another woman isn't an option. I refuse to subject our relationship and love to that kind of deceit. No job is worth that kind of betrayal," he whispered, looking down at the forgotten bottle in his hand.
"There was no betrayal involved my love," she returned soothingly. "You know I trust you Lee, with my very life. Please don't let this bother you. You didn't do anything to be ashamed of. We went in, staked out the situation, planted you with your background cover and completed the task, nothing more," she assured him softly.
"I keep hearing her voice toasting to failed marriages," he muttered. "It makes my gut hurt just thinking about us in that capacity."
"Then don't think of it," she pressed, touching his face to draw his attention back to her.
"Do you realize how much I love you?" he asked seriously, staring into her brown eyes. 'Will I ever stop being amazed at this beautiful woman in my arms? She's sitting here trying to console me after I spent a good portion of the night in the arms of another woman.'
"I should hope so," she teased smiling.
"You're perfect," he returned matching her expression as he leaned forward and captured her lips tenderly. He could feel her fingers playing through his hair as her lips instantly responded to the passion of his. Groaning low in his throat he crushed her into his embrace, wrapping his arms tightly around her naked form.
When they finally drew back, he left her with tiny kisses along her jaw, inhaling the wonderful scent of soap and perfume he knew as only his wife. "Thank you for understanding."
"Feel like you might be able to sleep now?" she asked laying her forehead against his. "It's not often we get to sleep in the same bed, I miss the feel of my husband's strong body against mine."
"Yeah I think so," he agreed with a smile. "Only if you promise to hold me close all night long."
"Oh most certainly, at least what's left of the night. It's almost dawn now," she confessed, motioning toward the small digital clock sitting along the far shelf, with her head. It's readout glowed 4:49 am.
"Seems like we just went to bed," he admitted with a sigh.
"We did. Come on my love, lay down with me," she prompted, rising slowly from his lap, pulling his arm along with her. Lee smiled, willingly going along with her as he sat the partial bottle of water on the table and followed her back into the bedroom.
* * *
Story Notes:
Disclaimer: I do not own these characters nor do I get money for penning the words and weaving the stories. They are purely entertainment. My hats off to the creators, writers, and actors who brought these characters to life.