Vacation-Part Six

Friday, August 30, 2002

5:30 PM 

“Was it something I said?” 

Geoff’s voice shook Jenna out of her reverie. She stared at him. “What?” 

“You’ve just been so quiet since we left the café.”   Geoff said as they left Hampstead Tube Station and headed down Flask Walk, neatly avoiding a group of children who zipped past them on scooters. The evening was still humid but cooler—a breeze blew Jenna’s bangs off her forehead. 

“I’m fine,” Jenna said. “Really I am.” 

“You sure?” 

“Sure,” Jenna said. “I’m sorry, Geoff—I know I’m not very good company right now.”

“No worries mate,” Geoff affected an exaggerated Australian accent that made Jenna smile.  “Jenna—we haven’t known each other a long time but if there’s anything you want to talk about I can be a good listener.”  

Jenna sighed. “It’s complicated,” she said.  “I guess mainly I’m embarrassed.” 

“About what?”  

“That I freaked out so much when Simon grabbed me from behind,” Jenna said.

“Yeah well Simon was being a pillock.” 

“What’s a pillock?”  Jenna asked.

“Another word for an idiot.” 

“Well I won’t argue with that,” Jenna tried to think of the right words to say. “But most people wouldn’t have been so frightened. It’s just being grabbed from behind like that was—I kind of panicked.”

“It must have brought back bad memories.” Geoff said. 

“Yeah,” Jenna said. “I guess you could say-”   She stopped walking and looked at him. “Wait a minute—how did you know that?” 

Geoff wouldn’t meet her eyes. “How did I know what?”

“About bad memories. How did you know I had bad memories?” 

“Well everyone has some, don’t they?”  

“I don’t believe you,” Jenna said.

“All right,” Geoff said. “I knew that you were that girl—that kidnapped girl.”

Jenna’s face burned. Her hands shook—she clenched them tightly, fighting to keep control. 

“That kidnapped girl?”  Somehow she managed to repeat the words calmly.  “Someone told you that?”  

“No one told me,” Geoff said. “Not even Emily. But when I saw you—I guess you wouldn’t know it but you made the news over here—your picture was all over the place back when it happened. Some of my mates even teased me about meeting a celebrity.” 

“A celebrity?”  Jenna said.  “Was that why you wanted to go out with me?” 

“Of course not,” Geoff said. “When Emily said that she had a niece coming to England I didn’t even know it was you. But you seemed like a nice person—just maybe someone who had been through a lot of stuff and needed help—and I thought that maybe I could be—”

“You thought maybe you could what?”  Jenna’s voice rose. People stopped to stare—she knew she was causing a scene but at the moment she didn’t really care. “That you could help me?  You felt sorry for the poor little kidnapped girl?”  

“No,” Geoff ran both hands through his hair. “Look, I’m saying the completely wrong things here. If you’d just listen—”

“No, you listen,” Jenna said. “I am not a celebrity. What happened to me was frightening. It was horrible.”  

“I understand—”

“—but you don’t,” Jenna said. “You couldn’t. He hurt me Geoff, and he wanted to—I didn’t think I was ever going to see my home or family again—I was so scared.”  Tears stung her eyes as she spoke—she wiped them away angrily.  “All I want is to be normal again. I don’t want to be famous, and I certainly don’t want anybody’s pity.” 

“I’m sorry,” Geoff said. “I guess I didn’t think.”

“I just want to go back,” Jenna said. She couldn’t bring herself to look at him anymore. “Please just take me back to the house.” 

SMK SMK SMK SMK 

5:50 PM 

“Lee would you stop staring out that window?”  Amanda came up from behind and wrapped her arms around her husband’s waist. “I’m sure Jenna will be home soon.” 

“She’d better be,” Lee said, “I told him six o’clock, Amanda. If that Geoffrey kid keeps her out until all hours I’ll—” 

“You’ll what?” Amanda said.

“I don’t know yet,” Lee said. “But something.” 

Amanda sighed. “Lee I know you’re only acting like this because you love her, but you need to relax. If you’re like this now, what are you going to be like when she’s sixteen and actually starts going out on real dates?” 

“Amanda that’s not for some years yet—”

“She’s nearly fourteen,” Amanda said. “Sixteen will be here before you know it.”   

“I don’t want to think about that right now,” Lee said—‘or ever’ he silently added. He looked down at his watch and then out the window. 5:52 PM and still no sign.  Where the hell were they?

“Is he still watching the clock, Amanda?”  Emily said. 

“Emily if you would just please—” Lee began. Suddenly the front doorbell rang.  “About time,” he muttered.  He opened the front door. Geoffrey and Jenna stood there—and Jenna—Lee stared at his daughter, taking in her flushed cheeks and red-rimmed eyes. 

“Sweetheart?” Amanda said.

“Jenna what’s wrong?” Emily asked.

Jenna said nothing in reply—pushing past everyone she ran through the foyer and disappearing up the front staircase, her feet pounding the floorboards as she ran. Lee turned to Geoffrey, his voice filled with quiet wrath.

“Just what did you do to her?” 

“Nothing, Mr. Stetson,” Geoffrey said. “We just had a discussion and I guess she got a little upset.”  

Lee was tempted to grab this kid by the front of his shirt and shake the information out of him. “Oh yeah? What kind of discussion, exactly?” 

“Lee,” Amanda said. “I think that Jenna probably needs you more right now, don’t you?” 

“Mr. Stetson please tell Jenna that I didn’t mean to upset her,” Geoffrey said. “I’m really sorry.” 

“Just go,” Lee told him. Geoffrey’s shoulders slumped and he turned around, walking back down the front path.

SMK SMK SMK SMK 

Jenna was curled up on the bed, her back turned to him as Lee entered the bedroom. 

“Please leave,” she said without turning around. “I just want to be by myself.”  Instead of leaving Lee sat on the edge of the bed. “Please?”  Jenna said.

“Tell me what’s wrong, munchkin,” Lee said. “Did Geoffrey—”

“It wasn’t really Geoff,” Jenna said. “He’s fine—he’s normal. It’s me who’s all screwed up.” 

“All screwed up?”   Lee asked. More silence. “I can’t help you if you won’t talk to me.” 

Jenna’s voice was muffled sounding. “You can’t help me anyway—no one can.” 

“What happened?”  Lee said. “Jenna at least look at me.” 

Slowly Jenna turned around. Tears spilled slowly down her cheeks, her dark eyes filled with such pain that Lee hurt just to look at her. He wrapped his arms around his daughter, pulling her close.

“Everything was fine at first,” Jenna said. The words spilled out in a rush, punctuated by gulps and sniffles. “Geoff’s friends were nice, too—well except maybe for Simon but I was trying to ignore him. Geoff and I were playing this dancing game and I did really well too and then—then—”

“Then what?” 

“Simon—he grabbed me from behind and lifted me off the ground.”  Jenna said. “And I guess I kind of panicked because the next thing I knew I was on the floor and he was laughing at me, calling me a spaz. Geoffrey made Simon leave but I felt more like it was my fault—” 

Lee felt a surge of fury running through him. If he ever got his hands on this Simon kid— “It was not your fault ,” he told her. “No one has the right to touch or grab you in a way that makes you afraid or uncomfortable—period.” 

“No—I guess not,” Jenna said.

“What happened next?” 

“Well next we went to this café on All Saint’s Road in Notting Hill –called Ma’s café but it looks like a metal trailer or something. Anyway, we had some milkshakes.” 

“Sounds nice,” Lee said. 

“It was,” Jenna said. “But then Geoff was walking me home and he mentioned—he said that he’d seen me on the news when I was kidnapped—he said something about me being a celebrity.” 

“And what did you say?”  Lee asked. 

Jenna took a deep breath. “I really told him off,” she said. “He didn’t really deserve all that either and now—if he never wants to speak to me again I won’t blame him.” 

Lee smoothed his daughter’s hair, thinking of the look on Geoffrey’s face. “Oh  I think he’ll want to speak to you again.” 

“I thought you’d be happy about Geoff,” Jenna said.

“Why did you think I’d be happy?” 

“Well you didn’t really like him, did you?”  Jenna pulled away suddenly, wiping her face with the back of her hand. “And you weren’t exactly crazy about me going out with him.”

“Yeah,” Lee ran one hand through his hair. “Look, I know I might seem a little overprotective when it comes to boys, munchkin. But if I am it’s only because I care about you and I don’t want to see you hurt.” 

“Dad I know that.” 

“And I don’t dislike Geoff,” Lee said. “I’ll admit I wasn’t exactly crazy about him, but I’m glad that he stood up to Simon and defended you. And also—”  he couldn’t believe he was actually saying this “—I think that if you give it time he’ll definitely want to see you again.” 

“Maybe,” Jenna said, “But if I’d been normal none of this would’ve happened.” 

“What exactly do you mean by normal?” 

“I mean normal,” Jenna looked down at the bedspread “Someone who doesn’t have flashbacks or nightmares. Normal people who don’t freak out when someone grabs or touches then.”

“Now you listen to me,” Lee put his finger under her chin, forcing her gaze to meet his own. “Most people haven’t been through what you’ve been through and I’m not sure they’d cope with it as well as you have. Don’t sell yourself short—you’re a lot stronger than you know.” 

“I wish I felt stronger.”   Jenna said.

“You will,” Lee said. “I promise you that.” 

TBC