This particular story is quite different from any other that I’ve ever attempted to write, henceforth it has a very different setup style for everything, from the summary, to the disclaimers and even in the way the story is plotted out.

To the best of my knowledge, there has never been a psychologist/psychic counselor by the name of Lolita Caterina Von Schellnitzen nor has there ever been a magazine article such as what I constructed for this story as written by her.

I’ve italicized the print for the portions of this article that Lee and Amanda have read in this story. I hope that the formatting holds.

Please be aware that, depending on where you read this work, the programming department may have edited it for proper rating requirements. While the version viewed on Fanfic.net has been modified to eliminate more mature scenes that may be inappropriate for younger viewers, the content and outcome of the story remain unaffected. The NC-17 version will be broadcast in its entirety on both the Wicky group as well as the Wicky archive.

This work of fiction belongs to the above mentioned author and is not to be reproduced or copied elsewhere without prior written permission. BL – as always – has the custodial rights to my work should Dr. Smyth throw a hissy fit and ship me to Iceland or other netherworld regions for assignment.

Any errors, typos or quacks are entirely the sole responsibility of the author or the provider of the vast quantities of Mountain Dew and chocolate that were consumed during the course of writing this.

We hope that you enjoy the show!

Respectfully submitted for your humble review,

Twisted Sister & her always demented muse, Zena [ J - smiley face inserted here]

Imagine that you have just dropped your boyfriend off at the train station and are now walking back to your car. You’re minding your own business. You have a million and three things on your to-do list and you need to get home to start tackling that list before your two young sons get home from school.

All of this while being at the mercy of your meddling mother, who, though she means well, will probably spend the entire day dropping none-too-subtle hints that your current boyfriend is dependable, loyal, loving and an overall great catch.

As you walk quickly, your mind is spinning rapidly. You’re divorced, not quite a year and you’re trying your best to raise two children while your ex-husband is pursuing his ultimate career dream halfway across the world. In between trying to pick up the pieces of your life that had been effectively shattered when you’d been forced to admit that your marriage really was over, you’ve been, unsuccessfully, looking for work.

In reality and maybe unknowingly, you’re really just trying to rediscover who you really are and where you’re going with your life.

The house is in dreadful need of spring cleaning, never mind that autumn leaves are scattered on the ground and there are baskets of laundry that need to be folded and piles of dishes that need to be done, despite the fact that your dishwasher is forever going on strike.

Your sons have homework and merit badge projects to work on. They have peanut butter sandwiches hidden in the closet that they think you don’t know about, soccer practice after school and they really like your new boyfriend despite the fact that his weather forecasts for the DC Metroplex are usually not very accurate.

You worry if they have adequate male role models in their young lives, did they brush their teeth this morning and is it really a good thing that they don’t seem to miss their father as much as you would have thought?

You’ve got a resume to work on and a checkbook to balance after writing out the monthly mortgage check, which needs to be mailed today. The car needs an oil change and your ex-husband’s check for child support is two days late because mail service from a foreign country is never all that reliable. You’re wondering why in heaven’s name you didn’t accept that alimony money after all.

Then, seemingly out of nowhere, a total stranger wearing what appears to be a very rumpled waiter’s uniform appears in front of you. Race past the fact that even though he appears to be somewhat frazzled he still looks like he should be gracing the cover of some magazine, which you really don’t have time to read anyhow.

You try to keep walking but he grabs your arm. He’s tall and very handsome. He’s certainly not your typical suburban father type, though he might be very welcome in some late night fantasies.

This stranger asks you to walk with him, now he’s begging you to help him, and…wait a minute, did he just say it was a matter of national security?

He pleads with you desperately. Beseeching hazel eyes and an imploring face melt away any misgivings that you might have had. Despite the fact that it is really none of your business and you have no idea who in the h-e-double toothpick he is, you relent.

Your eyes lock with his and something very deep inside tells you that he needs your help and that you most certainly can not and will not walk away from him, even though that would be the most logical thing to do.

And that, my dear reader, is how it all began. An unlikely chance encounter between two strangers who would find their lives forever changed by what Lee termed an ‘emergency’.

It was an unlikely progression that would take two total strangers from unwilling partners to best friends. Despite all of the denials and constructed invisible brick walls between them, they formed a partnership that gave the Agency one of the best teams that it had ever possessed.

Even more unlikely is the fact their relationship developed even further than that. They formed the ultimate partnership when they spoke their vows in front of the Justice of the Peace in Virginia.

Amazing coincidence?

Fate?

Why did Lee single Amanda out that morning from among the myriad of different people walking around at the train station?

Why did she accept?

Think about it.

Honestly, if you had been in her shoes, would you have taken the package?

I think Amanda called it correctly when she none-too-politely informed the indignant Scarecrow that most people wouldn’t have taken the damn package in the first place.

But, he did single her out; he did ask her and she did say yes, against her better judgment.

And then, once she had entered his life, he seemed to be consumed with a need to push her away and keep her out of it.

Permanently.

There were very vocal insistences that she didn’t belong and that she wasn’t wanted. Neither one of them could see what their Section Chief saw almost immediately. Something special existed between them. Something so unique that this once lone-wolf agent soon was going to extremes to keep her out of harm’s way, watching over her, telling her to stay in the car and even going as far as committing treason.

Yet, the question still remains unanswered.

Why? Why would this man who, to most eyes, had buried the fair majority of his emotions so deep that it would seem very improbable, if not almost ludicrous, that he’d care anything at all as to what happened to one suburban mom?

This single little question is where the entire concept for this story began and, since the gosh-darned idea refused to go away, I finally relented and began writing.

Nearly three years in the making, with many, count ‘em, many long hours of research, writing and then revisions; I give you one possible explanation to this question. It is a one-word answer but it became a novel of a story.

I won’t say one way or another if I believe in the theory and I don’t know if I believe in fate or the mumbo jumbo about true lovers destined to meet.

Heck!

Most days I’m not even sure of my own name and the running joke is that I still have my Target name badge to remind me. I also have them from two different stints at K-Mart and now two different tours of duty at Walgreens as well.

All I can ask is that you accept it as a possibility and go from there. It is quite the fascinating little plot device as I have found.

Now, you might prefer to call it an alternate universe story or an A/U but I prefer to think of it as a little romance mingled with a little drama and maybe even some deeper insight into what makes Lee and Amanda’s relationship unique.

What drove them the first few years of their relationship?

Why did he keep trying to drive her away, continuing to make very verbal insistences that he didn’t need her in his life? Why did she feel so compelled to be his friend, despite the fact that she found him to be rude and annoying, despite the fact that, in the beginning, she felt as though espionage was very highly over-rated?

Why could they never truly stay away from each other?

Maybe this little work will help shed some light on that.

Original plots, characters and so-forth from Scarecrow and Mrs. King that are referenced throughout belong to Warner Bros. and Shoot the Moon as well as to the writers, crew, and actors who breathed life into the charming fairy tale of handsome spy meets beautiful suburban mother.

My fictional characters and plots herein are based upon the originals and yet, courtesy of my addled brain, have been given a slightly different life because I couldn’t help but be tempted with this tiny slice of history. All other names, characters, places, and incidents are either a by-product of the author’s mind from overload of caffeine and chocolate or are used fictitiously and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events or locales are purely coincidental.

I wanted to parallel the original pilot and yet incorporate something new into the story, leaving you, the reader, with characters that are and yet are not quite the ones that you have come to know and love.

It wasn’t easy, rest assured. What I thought, quite wrongly, would take about a month or so to write, ended up taking years. A multitude of hours, web research, book reading and video watching went into this because I am not well versed in the Civil War. That’s my mother’s forte.

On-line research in early 2006 led me to some of the parallel points and I chose to use Mission of Gold and The Kruschev list as starting points for the present. Yet, I was still missing the key elements for the past, leading me to question where to turn next. The answer was simple, or so I thought.

The epic mini-series North and South came to mind so, in February 2007, off I went in search of John Jakes’ book. I needed something to immerse me into the speech and dialogue of the times. I had a need to know about things like gun types, who fought where, and yes, what about underwear?

Well, I returned home with a book, but not the one I had set out to find. In my possession, instead, was a large hardback entitled On Secret Service, a book that intermingles historical figures and events of the times with fictional ones.

After beginning the book, I suddenly feared that maybe what I was thinking about whipping up would end up too similar to what this great author had already penned.

Thankfully, after finishing it, I breathed a sigh of relief. While he did script a scene similar to one that I had already intended to use long before stumbling upon his book, his scenario was utilized quite differently. Because, thankfully, I’m sure he had never had Lee and Amanda in mind when he wrote his great book. LOL.

Don’t fret if you aren’t well versed in the Civil War either. I’m hoping that any historical references are written well enough and in such a way that you’ll be able to read with ease.

I can only hope that I’ve done our favorite spies justice as well as giving you a work of fiction that incorporates the magic of Lee and Amanda’s romance while providing a wonderful tale of fantasy and excitement.

For rating and safety purposes, I am bestowing the following:

A BIG thank you goes out to Alley who helped me brainstorm for the names of the lead characters (alternate Lee & Amanda) way back in early 2006!

And, as always, a BIG thank you to all of my fellow SMKy agents, who not only provide support but encouragement and friendship at all hours no matter the time zone.

Big hugs to y'all!

And, finally, we should thank the cast and crew of SMK; who through their characterizations and continuity efforts (or lack of J ) have left the door in fictionalization land wide open for much fun and merriment.

Oh, thanks to them, what tangled plots we can weave and of course, we owe all of that weaving, thankfully to KJ, who, if I've got the story right was reportedly looking for a half-hour show and firmly, or so she thought, was convinced that she would not do another hour-long episodic. Before her, she had some scripts to review. One was thicker, a pilot episode and absolutely not a half-hour but a positively one-hour.

She could have passed right over it, never giving it a second thought.

But, for whatever reason, one glance at the title maybe, there was a compulsion to read it. Only to discover that, oh gosh, she loved it.

And, you know what?

We loved it as well.

Perched on the corner of the desk that belonged to William Melrose, Lee Stetson held the telephone to his ear while trying to take refuge and achieve the seemingly impossible.

Though he didn't know how, he had to find a way to calm his irate wife while keeping the very private conversation hidden from prying eyes and out of the earshot of his fellow coworkers. Amanda was already furious with him and she would be even angrier if someone within the walls of the Agency were able to put two and two together because they had overheard more than they should.

It was becoming glaringly obvious to Lee that, despite his best efforts, Amanda was far from amused and nowhere near to understanding what he was trying to convey to her.

"Amanda, listen to me, will ya? I thought if we both made lists of each other’s quirks, we could sit down and talk everything out. With reason, rationally."

It had made sense to him, theoretically. Realistically, it had become a nightmare for both.

"That list was a rough draft. I didn’t expect you to read it."

He was telling her the truth. What his wife had discovered in the apartment had not been the actual list for them to work through but merely his own initial act of frustration venting. It had never been intended for her eyes. Unfortunately for Lee, he was not making any headway in getting her to comprehend that the item she currently had in her possession was not the actual list that he had wanted to use when they sat down to discuss things.

"Okay, okay," he agreed with her. "Six pages of quirks is a bit excessive, maybe a little petty but I..."

His agreement with her was interrupted by the rather loud noise of the disconnecting click that clamored in his ear signaling to him that Amanda had apparently found the multiple pages of quirks more than a little petty.

Listening to the sound of the dial tone that had replaced her upset voice, he didn't know which sound seemed more ominous to him at that moment.

Lowering the telephone away from his ear, he looked down at it. Part of him was in disbelief that Amanda had actually hung up on him and part of him was frustrated over the entire situation.

"When will I ever learn?"

"Learn what?"

The questioning voice of his Section Chief warned him that his boss had just entered the office and Lee quickly replaced the phone as Billy strode to his desk.

Desperately needing a change of topic, Lee quickly grasped at the current case that they had just wound up.

"Ah, nothing. Nothing. How’s Harry?"

"I’m happy to announce that he only had a flesh wound."

"Ah, good and what about our bogus list?"

"It worked really fine. The minute we announced that we were taking the list to the Grand Jury the phone started ringing off the hook. The two remaining members on the list decided to make a deal with the Federal prosecutor so they turned each other in."

Billy chuckled, a man obviously elated with the results.

"Do you have an estimate on the damage they caused?"

Billy was still smiling as he continued.

"It will take a little time to add it all up but at least they won't be causing any more damage. When you see Amanda."

Lee practically gulped. Great, he thought. Next time I see her, I might be getting kicked to the curb. Judging from Billy's inquisitive expression, Lee instantly knew that he had revealed far too much to the elder man's knowing eyes without even saying a single word.

And then his boss did the unwanted. Instead of completing whatever his thought had been in regards to Amanda, he began to interrogate the agent that was standing in his office.

"Problems?"

"Problems? No." Lee shook his head as he tried to bluff. "Not really. No problems."

"Lee," Billy motioned to him and Lee walked towards his boss, thoroughly aware of the fact that William Melrose could see straight through his deception.

They met at the corner of his desk.

"What?"

"Whenever Jeannie and I bumped heads we'd both make a list about everything that bothered us and then we'd very calmly and rationally sit down and work through the list from top to bottom. It wasn’t easy, but it worked. Maybe you and Amanda should do the same thing."

"Yeah, maybe. Thanks Billy."

They had done the same thing or at least that had been their intention and look where it had landed him. Right into hot water.

Lee began heading towards the door, knowing that now was the time to get out of this office while still maintaining hope that Billy would remain under the assumption that this was nothing more than the latest in the current string of arguments regarding Amanda's return to field duty.

He didn't have the chance to get completely out of Billy's office before the elder man spoke again.

"You know, partnership is just like a marriage."

Billy’s words nearly stopped Lee dead in his tracks. And then, as if that hadn’t been bad enough, the next statement from Billy nearly stopped Stetson’s breathing.

"You’d be getting practice for the real thing."

Lee turned around and looked at him; positive that his eyes had to be as big as saucers at the moment and that his mouth had probably dropped to the floor.

"Well, You never know, Scarecrow…stranger things have happened."

With nothing more than a look, Lee beat a hasty retreat out of the office, not entirely sure that he was still breathing. As he began to walk away, he wondered. Unofficially, just how much did Billy know in regards to the true nature of he and Amanda's relationship? And, at this rate, just how long was this mystery marriage going to last?

Lee and Amanda were both discovering that keeping a secret marriage a secret while trying to actually be married was like working for the fire department, a fact that Lee had voiced not all that long ago. With more days off than compared to on, it was taking more of a toll on them than either had expected.

Not that Lee regretted for even one portion of a second taking those vows in the Justice of the Peace's office back in February. It was just that, in Lee's opinion, it seemed to him that ever since that day they had been tossed more bad hands of cards than any newlywed couple should ever be dealt.

Just as Lee had nearly arrived to the exit for the corridor, a shrill feminine voice screeching his name across the bull pen brought him back to the here and now.

"Mr. Stetson! Mr. Stetson!"

He turned and saw a petite blonde-haired woman scurrying precariously fast towards him on heels that did not seem designed to hold the weight of any human body upon them, no matter how thin. Of course, factor out that annoying voice and once upon a time, in his distant past, she might have been a tempting interlude among a string of many. Times, as they said, had certainly changed and Lee now found himself more than slightly annoyed at the intrusion towards his private thoughts.

"Mr. Stetson, I’m so glad that I caught you. Mrs. Marston just called down. There’s a fellow in the Georgetown foyer by the name of TP waiting for you."

He watched in slight amusement as she batted heavily mascara-coated eyelashes at him.

"Oh, thanks."

He quickly turned from her and headed through the double doors, totally aware that she was giving him more than a precursory glance. As he strode towards the elevator, a fleeting image of the crushed faces amongst the steno pool after being informed that Scarecrow was permanently off the market flashed in his mind.

Well, after he saw to whatever it was that had brought his old friend calling at the Agency, he would make a quick stop in to see Harry and then head home to see what kind of damage control was required.

Lee Stetson might be in the doghouse but he had absolutely no intention of allowing Scarecrow to go back on the market.