It had been a quiet weekend, the quietest the Stetson-King household
had seen in a long time. The boys were with their father, Dotty was
at a weekend literary group, and Amanda was this year's "ringer" at
Station Nine.
After Lee assured a worried Amanda that he could cope, alone, for
two days with his eight-year-old daughter, he and Jenny kissed her
good-bye and promised to be good.
Now Lee was really enjoying spending extra time with Jenny. `I've
got this father-daughter thing down pat,' he thought smugly. He
sipped his coffee and glanced up from the Washington Post
Weekender. Yes, Jenny was still busily mothering her little tribe
of dolls.
She paused midway through a vigorous hair-brushing of her favorite
Cabbage Patch doll. After studying him quietly, she broke the
Sunday silence. "Daddy, do you like babies?"
"Sure." He took another mouthful of coffee.
"So you don't like sex, then?"
Lee put down the paper, its print now unreadable due to the coffee
he just sputtered over it. "Wh-hh-h, what makes you say that,
sweetheart?"
"Well, Lucy's mom is having a baby," Jenny said, seemingly oblivious
to her father's near coronary.
"So . . . ?" *By now I should be used to being totally lost in
conversations with my girls.*
"The book Mommy gave me said a woman gets pregnant by having sex. I
don't have any little brothers or sisters, so if you like babies, it
must be the sex you don't like."
Lee wondered how this earth-shattering conversation could be held
with such amazing calmness. Jenny's part of it, at least. Her
hazel eyes held curiosity but remained strangely placid.
His own eyes, he was sure, were bugging out of his head. He tried
to assume the nonchalant expression he used in easier situations.
Like being questioned by the KGB.
"Hey, listen, could I see this book a minute?" With shaking hands,
he tried to mop up the mess on the kitchen counter.
"Sure, it's in my room."
Lee watched as she skipped over to the staircase.
*She looks the same.*
*Same brown curls, same hazel eyes.*
*Yeah, and now she's questioning my sex life.*
Seems some changes weren't entirely cosmetic.
Her return interrupted his musings. So did the appearance of THE
BOOK (as Lee would always refer to it when speaking of this in the
future).
It looked innocent enough. A smiling little girl's face, drawn on
the blue cover.
The title, however, made his heart skip a beat. "Where Did I Come
From?"
A vague memory swam to the forefront of his mind. Amanda, telling
him something over a late lunch last week at Emilio's.
Something about Jenny having questions, and that it was perfectly
normal for her age.
If he'd known he'd be in this situation, he'd have listened, he
swore. Listened and taken detailed notes.
The more he skimmed the pages, the worse it got. He admitted defeat
when his eyes focused on one particular illustration.
*Dear Lord, sperm with smiley faces!*
Closing the book quickly—but far too late, in his opinion—he looked
his little interrogator straight in the face. "When a mommy and a
daddy love each other, they can have, err, umm . . ."
"Sex," a little voice piped up.
"Yeah, they can have, um, that," Lee finished lamely.
"Uh-huh."
"But sex . . ." *Breathe, damn it!* "Sex doesn't always have to
mean babies."
"It doesn't always make babies?" She sounded incredulous.
Lee shook his head and mentally calculated the number of women who
had once graced, if not his life, at least his bed.
*Shit, I hope not!*
Jenny was looking at him thoughtfully. "Then why do it, if you
don't end up with a baby every time?"
*Because the world's health care systems couldn't cope with that
many blind men all at once.*
Instead of voicing this aloud, he chose his next words
carefully. "Mommies and daddies like to be happy, so they do things
that are nice." Sending up a silent prayer to the inventor of
latex, Lee decided to push on. "All clear now, pumpkin?"
*Please, God, let this be the end!*
"It looks kinda hard. You must have to practice, like me with my
fractions."
That did it. Lee made the best decision he'd made all day. He
stood up and loudly cleared his throat. "Come on, if we're going to
Chuckie Cheese, we need to get a move on!"
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Two Weeks Later,
Rockdale Elementary School
"She said it was your idea, Mr. Stetson."
"I really don't understand what you mean, Mrs. Chapman." Lee
smiled, hoping to convince the wizened schoolteacher of his
innocence.
"She brought that sex education book to school, Mr. Stetson, and
offered to answer any questions her friends might have."
Lee studied his fingernails intently.
"The boys are fascinated about what boys can do, and the girls . . .
well, little Caitlin O'Neill will never be the same again, I'm
afraid."
He coughed, hoping she wouldn't tell him more about Caitlin.
The teacher glared at the squirming agent through her chunky
bifocals. "Did you really tell her it feels nice and to practice
lots?"
Amid Amanda's loud peals of laughter, he reminded himself once
more, `It had all been going so well . . .'
THE END
Story Notes:
Disclaimer: Jenny is mine. The other characters belong to Warner Brothers and Shoot the Moon Productions. The book mentioned does exist, but the contents of my version are but a figment of my imagination!
Notes: Thank you to each and every child I’ve ever looked after. Talk about material!
Notes: Thank you to each and every child I’ve ever looked after. Talk about material!