“The follies which a man regrets most in his life are those which he didn’t commit when he had the opportunity.”

-Helen Rowland

Where was he?  This wasn’t his bedroom.  Then he felt it, the slight pressure on his chest.  Looking down, he saw her.  Chestnut curls splayed across his bare chest.  But who was she?  And how did he end up here?  He remembered coming straight home from the liquor store.  The two drinks he’d consumed couldn’t have made him forget going home with someone.  Could they?

Lee searched his surroundings for any clue as to where he was.  He spied his watch on the dresser, and his clothes were piled up on the chair beside the bed.  Soft kisses on his chest interrupted his thoughts.  She was awake.  This was going to be extremely uncomfortable.  He tried once again to remember what had happened the night before.  Nothing came. 

“Good morning, sweetheart.” The mysterious woman's raspy voice sounded surprisingly familiar.  She flipped her hair off her face and smiled at him just before her lips descended to his. 

“Amanda?” he whispered to himself in complete shock.  This has to be a dream.  She planted tiny, wet kisses down his jaw line and down his chest.  He gulped nervously at her ministrations.  ‘Correction, this is one HELL of a dream!’ 

“Lee, what’s wrong?  You look like you’ve just seen a ghost.”

Before he could respond, he heard the pitter patter of tiny feet outside the door.  Then, in a rush, utter chaos filled the room.  Two small children bounced between them .  ‘This isn’t a dream, it’s a nightmare!’ 

“Mommy, Daddy!  We’re hungry!”

“Daddy?  What the . . .” Lee jumped out of the bed and threw on his clothes.  He had to get out of here.  This wasn’t really happening! 

Amanda scooped up the little ankle biters and proceeded to hug and kiss them, completely oblivious of his panicked state.  She was acting like this was all normal.  ‘Like waking up in bed with Amanda is normal?’  There must have been something in that Scotch! 

He had almost made his escape out the bedroom door, when he heard her call his name.  “Lee, please start the coffee.  I have a feeling we’re gonna need it.”  When she finished, she started tickling the little girl. 

He closed his eyes and hoped when he reopened them that he’d find himself in his own bedroom.  He turned to walk out of the room and hit his head on the door jam.  “Shit!” 

“Um!  Daddy said a bad word, Mommy!”

“Sometimes grown-ups say naughty words when they hurt themselves.  It just slips out.  It’s all right, honey.  Daddy didn’t mean to.”

What was going on?  He made a mad dash through the long hallway and down the stairs, then out what he hoped was the front door.  Nothing made sense!  He had to find some answers.  He scanned the driveway and searched the garage.  Where was it?  His car was nowhere to be seen.  All he found was an Explorer and a Taurus.  Where was his Porsche 911? 

With a loud sigh, he resigned himself to the Explorer.  ‘I guess it beats that old station wagon she had before.’  He opened the driver’s side door and hopped in.  Luckily, he found the keys in the center console and started the engine.  He had to get out of here before Amanda came looking for him. 

Mr. Chang at the liquor store was going to get an earful, once he woke up from this nightmare.  The man had obviously sold him some bad Scotch.  This was getting out of hand.

He suddenly realized he had no idea where he was and headed to the main street to get his bearings.  Once there, he drove toward his apartment.  What was he doing clear out in Rockville?

Pulling up in front of the familiar building, he sighed, never remembering a time he’d been so happy to see the tall, drab monstrosity.  Lee greeted the doorman by name, only to be stopped at the elevator by the gentleman’s hand on his arm. 

“Excuse me, sir.  May I help you?”

“Cut it out, Jimmy.  I’ve had a really bad night, and I want to go home and take a shower.”

“I’m sorry, sir.  Who are you here to see?”

“Who am I here to . . . I want to go to my apartment, Jimmy.  Quit messing around.”  Shaking off the man’s hand, he hurried to the elevator and pressed the button. 

“Sir, I’m going to have to ask you to leave, unless you can give me the name of the party you’re visiting.  These are private apartments.”

“Jimmy, I live here.  I’m in 4C.  It’s me, Lee Stetson!”  ‘Maybe Jimmy buys from the same damn liquor shop.’

“Mr. Stetson?  I’m sorry, I didn’t recognize you--”

“Thank you!  It’s about time.  What’s gotten into you?”

“Sir, you haven’t lived here in years.  Last I heard, you had gotten married to that nice lady, what was her name?  Big brown eyes--”

“Amanda?”  He couldn’t understand what was happening.  Was this some sort of elaborate joke?

“Yes!  That’s right.  How is she?  She was always so polite.   Made the best chocolate chip cookies around.”

“Jimmy, when did I move out?”  He grabbed the man’s lapels and waited for an answer.

“Um, I think it was about six or seven . . . yeah, 1987, so seven years ago.”

It didn’t make any sense.  No sense at all.  He was married to Amanda?  He stomped out of the building and over to the truck. 

That’s when he heard it, the undeniable sound.  He knew her like he knew the back of his hand.  She was his pride and joy--his Porsche 911.  Who the hell was driving her?  She was stopped at the light, so he pounded on the passenger window.  As the window rolled down, he found himself staring at the man who had sold him the lottery ticket the night before.  “That’s my car!  You stole my car!  How the hell did you get my car, you son of a bitch?”  He couldn’t hold his frustration in any longer.  This day had gotten progressively worse. 

“Hi, Lee!  Get in.  I know this has been quite a shock, and it’s a lot to take in.  I’ll explain everything.”  Lee stared at him in disbelief, as the man tried once again to coax him into the vehicle.  “Come on.”

Lee slid in and waited for the explanation.  Was this some kind of enemy plot to drive him slowly insane?  If so, it was working.  

“Buckle up, this thing flies!”  The Porsche sped down the street, leaving only the sound of squealing tires behind them.

“What’s happening to me?”  Lee gasped for breath.  The man seemed to sense his dilemma and handed him a small paper bag. 

“Here, breathe deep.  A lot of guys freak out and get sick.  I’ve seen it happen before.  Just breathe into the bag.”

Lee grabbed the bag and tried to regain his composure.  Taking shallow breaths in the stale bag, he stared at the man, trying to figure him out.    

“Try not to get so worked up, Lee.  Just remember, you brought this on yourself.”

“Brought . . . what . . . on myself?  I didn’t . . . do anything!”  Lee’s hands tightened around the small brown bag as he struggled to breathe. 

“I’ve got everything I need.”  The man mimicked Lee’s words from the night before.  “Sound familiar?”   

He pulled the bag from his mouth.  “So, because you thought I was cocky, I’m now on a PERMANENT ACID TRIP?”  He couldn’t take this anymore.  The joke was over.  Why couldn’t he breathe?

“The way you intervened in that store last night . . .” The man shook his head in apparent disbelief.   “I mean you did a great thing, Lee.  It was incredible.  All the way across the board, you impressed everyone in the organization.”

“Oh, come on!  This is crazy!  Are you KGB?  Who hired you?  WHO HIRED YOU?” 

“No one hired me, Lee.  This isn’t some plot against you.  This is something good.  You’re a very lucky man to be getting this opportunity.”

“Yeah?  Well, how come I don’t feel so lucky?”  The man only shrugged his shoulders.  Leaning forward, Lee rubbed his face and temples.  “Okay, will you please just explain to me what is going on, in plain English?” 

“This is a glimpse, Lee.”

“A glimpse?”  The man nodded, his eyes fixed on the road ahead.    What the hell was he

talking about?  God!  His head hurt.  “A glimpse of what?”

“You’re gonna have to figure that out for yourself, and you’ve got plenty of time.”

“How much time?”

“As much time as it takes, and, in your case, it’s probably going to be considerable.”

He started to panic again.  This guy seemed to believe his own convoluted story.  “Okay, look, I just want my life back.  How do I wake up from this nightmare?”  The man stared relentlessly at Lee.  He tried again.  “So what’s it gonna take?  How much do you want to make this go away?” 

“It doesn’t work like that.”

“Why not?”

“Because you have to figure this thing out for yourself.  Are you listening to me?”

Lee ran his hand through his hair and pulled, leaving a large chunk of his hair standing on end.  “Figure it out?  Figure what out?”

“Let it come to you, man.”

“I don’t have time for this!  I’m in the middle of a very important case.”

“Yeah, well, you’re working on a new case now, man.”  The car came to an abrupt stop next to his Explorer.  “Time to get out of the car.”

“Wait, you’re just gonna leave me here?  What do I do?”

“I’m sorry, I can’t spend any more time with you.  I have some other business to take care of.  You’ll be fine.”

Lee felt like a lost little boy.  “You did this to me.  You can’t just leave me.”

The man smiled sympathetically.  “Okay, you want to take a walk and get some air?  I’ll explain everything to you.”

“Yes, please.”  His voice was barely above a whisper.  Maybe he would finally learn what this nightmare was really about and get his life back in the process.

When he closed the passenger side door, the car made a hasty exit, leaving Lee very alone.  His shoulders sagged as he watched the car, his car, drive away.  Alone with his myriad of emotions, he punched the air.  “Ah, hell!” 

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