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I’m With You

I’m With You

I'm Standing on a bridge
I'm waitin in the dark
I thought that you'd be here by now
There’s nothing but the rain
No footsteps on the ground
I'm listening but there’s no sound

I have been standing on this bridge, looking over the Delaware River, trying to figure out what happened last Saturday. That was the last time I spoke to my on-again off-again boyfriend, Joe Morelli.

It had all started with one of my easier skips, a girl I went to high school with. She had “skipped” on her bail and missed her court date. My slimy cousin, Vinnie, pays me to pick up the people he posts bond for when they don’t show up at court.

I was standing on this same bridge, trying to talk Carol Zabo out of jumping off. She had done this before.

“Carol,” I complained, “Can’t we just get off this bridge? It’s raining and I’m cold.”

“I can’t go to jail!” She wailed. She had hiked herself over the railing and was facing me with her arms locked around the top. “It was an accident. I swear.”

The last time Carol had tried to off herself by jumping into the Delaware, I convinced her that she would look terrible when they pulled her bloated body out of the water. Plus, it would have messed up her newest hairdo. That wasn’t going to work this time. Carol looked like crap.

“I know it was an accident, Carol. Lubie just can’t tell the cops that until they cut the wire on his jaw.” I told her. I was soaked and not really feeling as sympathetic as I sounded.

Carol had been upset when she found her husband, Lubie, talking to an attractive seventeen-year-old girl at their door. She had stormed out of the house, past the girl selling candy for her softball team (which, of course, Carol hadn’t known at the time), and hopped into the car to speed away. Unfortunately, Lubie ran after her to stop her and explain. He jumped in front of the car just as she hit the accelerator. Lubie was thrown across the hood of the car and Carol was arrested for attempted murder. The whole mess would have been straightened out long before Carol’s court date, except when Lubie fell off the hood he hit his face on the curb and broke his jaw in three places and was knocked unconscious. He couldn’t write what had happened because when he hit the hood he snapped his wrists back and they were both bandaged from fingers to elbow. Because of the wires keeping his jaw in place, Lubie wouldn’t be able to talk for another week. The girl selling candy hadn’t helped because she thought Carol had hit Lubie on purpose.

This meant that Carol had no one to explain the truth and decided, again, to jump off the bridge rather than go to jail.

I had heard from Mary Ann that Carol had been was a wreck ever since the teenager had claimed that she tried to kill her husband. I believed it now. Her clothes were a mess, her roots were showing and to top it all off she was wearing sneakers!

Such things are just not done in the Burg.

“Oh Stephanieeeeeee!” She wailed again. I suppressed the urge to roll my eyes. It was too wet to be melodramatic.

“Please, just come back over. Who is going to take care of Lubie if you jump into the Delaware?”

“Oh,” she said. “I don’t know. I didn’t think about that.” She started to pull her body over the rail, “I have to take care of Lubieeeeeeeee.”

I watched as Carol lost her footing on the rain-slicked bridge. Luckily, she caught herself because her arms were still wrapped around the top of the rail.

“Stephanie! Help me!”

“Oh great.” I muttered as I climbed over the first rail towards her. “Carol just hold still. I am coming over.”

I reached over her shoulder to try and lift on her torso. “Carol, I can’t get a grip on you. Hang on.”

I lifted myself over to the out side of the bridge and mistakenly looked down. Yeesh! Carol had looked over this twice and actually thought about jumping?? And people said I was nuts!

I wrapped my left arm around the lower part of the rail and squatted so that I could lift up Carol at the waist with my right arm. Finally, Carol got a foot-hold and lifted herself quickly over the rail.

Unfortunately, that is when I lost my footing. “Stephanieeeeeeee!” Carol wailed again. I quickly grabbed the rail with my right hand, so I thankfully wasn’t hanging by one elbow. Though now I had to swing my legs up even farther than Carol had.

Okay Steph, you can do this. I gave a little push and swung my right foot up, where my Doc Martins got stuck between the bridge and the bottom of the rail.

So there I was hanging over the Delaware River with only Carol to help me. Her idea of help was crying, ‘Oh Stephanie’ over and over again.

“Carol!” I shouted to stop her howling, “My phone is in the car. Call 911.”

I watched as Carol disappeared. It sure is a shame that Batman isn’t around to rescue me today. Truth was I hadn’t seen Ranger in months. So I patiently waited for Trenton’s finest to arrive.

The first on the scene was Joe Morelli. Of course, it couldn’t have been Eddie or Carl. No, it had to be Joe.

“Steph!” He said peering over at me. “Hang on Cupcake!” He started to climb over the rail.

“Joe be careful, its slick!”

He held onto the rail with one hand and swiftly untied my shoe. I braced myself and slipped my foot out so that it was hanging once again. Joe quickly grabbed onto me and easily lifted me so that my feet were back on the edge of the bridge.

I climbed over without my right shoe, which I was sorry to say I would never see again.

Joe silently followed me back to Big Blue – the car that never dies, but I wish that it would.

The silence didn’t last though.

Joe started calmly, telling me that I couldn’t even bring in a non-violent skip without getting into danger. To which I replied that it was the first time in weeks that I had even had to ask anyone for help. To which he replied that it was less than a week ago that I had gotten a black eye when a skip had resisted handcuffs and whacked me while he was trying to get away.

Carol simply watched us like a tennis match. I hope that she was entertained.

We fought like that for at least ten minutes. There were firemen and three other cops there now, watching the fray. Finally, I told Carol to get in the car and told Morelli that we were through. For good.

He threw his hands in the air and shouted to all the rescue crew that the show was over. I got into Big Blue and pulled away before Joe had even reached his car.

We haven’t spoken since.

So here I stand on the same bridge six days later. No Joe. No Ranger. It’s Dark. And it’s raining again. I hate rain.


Isn't anyone tryin to find me?
Won't somebody come take me home
it’s a damn cold night
trying to figure out this life

Won’t you take me by the hand
take me somewhere new
I don’t know who you are
but I... I'm with you


I felt my phone vibrating in my pocket. I seriously contemplated not answering. But it might be Joe, I thought.

“Hello?”

“Babe.”

“Ranger?” I asked in shock.

“Are you okay?” He asked quickly.

“Yes, Ranger, I’m fine.”

“Are you having car trouble?” He asked. I gritted my teeth and tried to contain my anger. I mean really! No ‘sorry I haven’t called.’ No ‘I missed you, Stephanie.’ He’s asking about my car??

“No.” I said with forced calm, “Why do you ask?”

“Cause Big Blue hasn’t moved off that bridge in twenty-five minutes.”

“Oh.” I sighed dramatically. Well, if I couldn’t tell him I was mad at him, for fear of being sent to a third world country, I could at least give him a strong hint. “You have a tracer on Big Blue too?? Jeez, is nothing sacred anymore?”

Ranger was silent.

“No, I am not having car trouble. I am sitting here, in the rain, contemplating my crappy life, okay!” I stomped away from the rail back to Big Blue.

“Good.” Ranger said. Sometimes I wonder if he has ever spoken for more than ten seconds at a time.

“No, it’s not good.” I muttered getting into the car. I was dripping all over the seats but I honestly couldn’t care less. “It’s crappy.”

“Morelli?” He asked.

“Among other things.” I started the car. “Was this the only purpose for this call, Ranger? I mean I haven’t talked to you in at least three months and all of the sudden you are watching the tracer on my car beep in the same spot on your monitor for twenty minutes?”

“I have a job for you. We’ll talk about it later.”

“Great,” I told him as I pulled into traffic. “I am going home. I am cold and wet and depressed. And I need some ice cream.”

I heard a chuckle and Ranger hung up.

Sometimes Batman is a real pain in the ass.


I’m looking for a place
searching for a face
is anybody here I know
cause nothing’s going right
and everything’s a mess
and no one likes to be alone

I didn’t feel much better after my shower. I was warmer, but still felt a chill. Ever since Joe and I had gotten back together after the whole Abruzzi thing, I had been staying with him. Thankfully, I hadn’t given up my apartment. With our track record I wouldn’t dare.

I grabbed my friends, Ben and Jerry, out of the freezer and the three of us headed to the sofa for some serious munching.

I turned on the television. Hockey season was over so there was nothing to watch but sappy old movies on public television. Sometime between finishing off a pint of Chunky Monkey and the happily ever after, I fell asleep.


Isn't anyone tryin to find me?
Won't somebody come take me home
It's a damn cold night
Trying to figure out this life
Wont you take me by the hand
take me somewhere new
I don’t know who you are
but I... I'm with you

I was floating. Or at least in my dream I was. I woke up when my head hit the pillow.

I opened my eyes trying to adjust to the little bit of light from the window shining in the room. I couldn’t see him because he was in the shadows. Though I had a good guess as to who it was.

“Ranger?” I said as I spotted him near the door.

“Yeah, Babe?”

“What are you doing here?”

“Putting you to bed.”

I shook my head, awake now. “Why?”

He shrugged.

“Ranger, how long have you been back in town?” I asked. I knew that since Connie and Lula hadn’t seen him that he couldn’t have been back in Trenton long.

“A couple weeks.”

“A couple weeks??” I squeaked. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

He shrugged again and crossed the room to my bed. I was glad the light from the window allowed me to at least see his silhouette. He sat down and I felt the mattress sag under his weight.

“Missed you, Babe.” He said softly.


oh why is everything so confusing
maybe I'm just out of my mind
yea yea yea

It's a damn cold night
Trying to figure out this life
Wont you take me by the hand
take me somewhere new
I don’t know who you are
but I... I'm with you

“I missed you too. But why did you wait a couple weeks to come and see me?”

“Babe you were basically living with Morelli up till last weekend.”

“So?”

He kicked off his boots and stretched out next to me.

“So it was alright to totally ignore me because of Joe? I don’t think so, Ranger! That is such a cop out. You could have at least let me know that you were back… and alive for crying out loud!”

He reached one arm over my shoulder and pulled me in closer to his side. He reached over for my hand.

“Heard about the bridge.”

“Jeez. Tank told you?” I muttered

“Yeah. Glad you’re okay Babe.” He said huskily. He was starting to make me a little nervous. Batman was cuddling with me for crying out loud. So I did what I do best, I started to babble.

“Well, I am too. I can’t believe that Carol looked down off that bridge twice and thought about jumping. All I could think about was me bloody at the bottom. Then my foot slipped and Carol was screaming and I kept thinking ‘where is a superhero when you need one…’ and then Joe showed up and pulled me up and then started yelling at me… you would think that a cop would know that after a near death experience is not the best time to be talking about…” Ranger tipped my head up toward his with his index finger.

“Shhh Babe. I know.”

I lost all thought of the bridge incident and what followed when Ranger’s lips touched mine. My hormones ignored the fact that I was still a little mad at him.

Ranger’s hand slowly moved from my cheek down to my shoulder. His mouth left a trail of kisses along my jaw. “I was worried about you tonight, Babe.” He whispered into my ear. I moved my head slightly to the side allowing him better access. I wanted to respond to that little revelation, ask him why he was worried, but his hand had moved farther down and his thumb gently rubbed my nipple through the little t-shirt I was wearing, causing me to lose the ability to speak.

No longer wanting to be a mere spectator to this life-altering event, I rolled onto my back pulling him with me. I could feel the muscles in his arms tense beneath my hands as we shifted. I moved my hands down and around his waist to pull his black shirt up so that I could feel his smooth skin.

“Ah Babe, I missed you so much.” He said gruffly, as his head ducked down to kiss the spot where he had raised my shirt. He placed his hands on my naked hips and I arched up to his mouth. He kneeled and reached down to pull me to a sitting position, taking the shirt completely off of me. He looked at me, now nude, on the bed and gave me one of his patented 100-watt smiles.

“Did you miss me?” He asked pulling off his shirt as well and tossing it to the floor.

“Yes.” I admitted, pulling him down toward me by the loops in his jeans. “Welcome back.” I smiled and brought his lips down to mine.

Take me by the hand
take me somewhere new
I don’t know who you are
but I... I'm with you
I'm with you

I woke up when I heard my shower running. I knew that Ranger wouldn’t mind if I joined him, but I was feeling a little self-conscious. Though the thought of him wet and naked in my shower was not making it easy to stay wrapped up in sheets on the bed.

I looked over at the clock. 7:30. Way too early for me to be awake.

I rolled over and tried to fall back asleep. It wasn’t working. I rolled onto my back.

He leaves, he comes back, we have sex, and he leaves. It was getting to be a terribly annoying pattern.

I knew I wasn’t going to work things out with Morelli. He worried about me, yes, but he was trying to change me. I liked bond enforcement. As much as I loved him, Morelli and I were never going to live happily ever after.

But, I knew so little about Ranger, other than the size of his muscles and his, well, you know. I knew he had a daughter. That was it.

I knew somewhere in my heart that I cared about him as much if not more than Joe.

I heard the water turn off and rolled over to my side, pretending to sleep.

I felt the mattress sink again.

“Babe?” He whispered, stretching out next to me again.

I rolled over. His dark hair was still glistening with moisture from his shower. I reached up to run my hand through it. He wore nothing but a pair of boxers, which showed evidence of being ready for another rumble in my sheets.

“Did you go running?”

He nodded. I moved so that my chest was pressed against his and looked up into his chocolate brown eyes.

“I don’t want to be alone anymore Ranger. Stay with me?”

He pulled me in close, his arms wrapping tightly around my torso.

“I’m here, Babe.”

“For good?” I asked against his chest.

“For good.”

Take me by the hand
take me somewhere new
I don’t know who you are
but I... I'm with you
I'm with you
I'm with you...

Avril Lavigne - I'm With You

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