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Disclaimers: Scarecrow and Mrs. King is copyrighted to Warner Brothers and Shoot the Moon Production Company. I have borrowed the characters without the permission of WB & Shoot the Moon.  This story is for entertainment purposes ONLY, and I do not wish to use this story to profit off of the borrowed characters.  This story, however, is copyrighted to the mentioned author.  

Author’s note:  Thanks again to Cheryl for letting me adopt her Leatherneck and Francine.  This was written for the Friday Challenge; the prompt line was “Where did you learn to do that?”  Many thanks to Amy for beta’ing this for me.

I was pacing the corridors down in the bowels of the Agency, trying to burn off some of my frustration and anger.  The only thing down here was the quartermaster’s stores and office, so it was a sure bet that I wouldn’t meet anyone of importance.

Everything had started to go wrong once that damned housewife began taking my classes. 

It was fine before.  I was their teacher.  I was respected.  Then she came.  And she began to ace everything.  Sometimes she even pointed out things that I hadn’t seen or known about.  Now, she was even teaching classes.  Pregnant!  She should have been sent home not kept on at the Agency and allowed to teach.  The classroom is my domain, not hers.

It’s all Scarecrow’s fault.  He brought Mrs. Know-it-all into the Agency in the first place.

I’d bet my life that it was Scarecrow who told the new batch of recruits about my code name.  I never use it, I didn’t choose it and I keep trying to forget about it.  It was foisted on me years ago when I was a recruit and it stuck.

Before my students found out, it was always either Mr. Beaman or Agent Beaman.  Now all I get are snide comments about creepy crawlies and hiding in dark corners.  Then there’s Thompson, the recruit who’s spent a fair bit of time in Australia; he keeps making the others laugh with whispers about toilet seats!** 

My pacing had brought me to the end of the hall where Leatherneck’s office was, his door was ajar and I could hear voices and moans coming from inside.  My curiosity wouldn’t let me walk away, I had to stop and listen.


“Tony, it’s been such a long hard week.  This is just what the doctor ordered.  Oh yeah,” I moaned, “that’s it, just a little harder.  Oh God, that feels sooo good.”  I knew I sounded breathless, but my heart rate had increased as Tony applied more pressure.  Just then he hit an extra sensitive spot and played it with it until it melted away under his fingers.  “Where did you learn to do that?”

I could feel his breath as he leaned down and gently bit down on my earlobe, his voice sending shivers down my spine as he answered.  “That’s a trade secret, sweetheart.”

I shivered again as he kissed his way down my neck – his fingers continuing their work on my tired and sore shoulder muscles.

“I’m very good at extracting secrets.”  I arched my neck to give him better access.

“My darling girl, it would take a lifetime to extract these secrets out of me.  Are you really willing to spend the rest of your life trying to find out my innermost secrets?

“Hmm... spend the rest of my life finding out about you?  Tony, you know what?   I’m pretty sure I could manage that.”

I had been sitting in his office chair while he massaged my aching neck and shoulders, and he spun me around so I could face him.  Crouching down so he was eye level with me, he gazed at me with an incredulous look on his face.

“Did I just propose?  And did you just accept?”

I stared at him.  I thought back to what we’d just said.  I’d thought it was just banter, but thinking about it again, it could have been taken another way.  I waited to feel the panic that I’d always imagined I’d feel when I found myself in this position.  It didn’t come.  It just felt right. 

I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.  I reached out and cradled his cheek with my hand. He turned his face into my palm and kissed it lovingly.  My insides melted and I gave him a soft smile.

“I think you did.  And yes I did!”

Suddenly he gave a whoop of joy, pulled me up out of my chair and hugged me to his body.  Spinning around with me held close to his chest, he captured my lips and I kissed him back for all I was worth.

We were so engrossed in checking out each other’s tonsils that we didn’t hear the door open, or even realize someone was in the room with us until we heard a cough.


Standing there outside the door, it sounded like they were having sex.  I’d heard rumors that Francine was involved with that idiot grease monkey, Leatherneck, but I hadn’t seen any hard evidence yet.  But here it was.  And if they were having sex then the evidence probably was hard!  They were involved, very involved.

I couldn’t let my sweet love throw herself away on a worthless lowlife like him.  I had to put a stop to this.

Silently I pushed open the door and walked into the room.  The queen of my heart was in his arms and they were laughing and kissing.  They were both fully dressed so my mind had been playing tricks with me and their conversation had obviously been innocent.  But they were kissing, so that confirmed the rumors that they were involved. 

I coughed to make my presence known.


“Spider!  What are you doing all the way down here?”  I knew he hated his code name but I couldn’t resist; he’d just intruded on a very special moment.

I let Francine slide down my body until her feet were on the ground and she was able to support herself.  But I didn’t let go of her just yet, in fact I had no plans of ever letting her go ever again.  She had just agreed to be my wife, and I had a shit-eating grin on my face that just wouldn’t go away.

“Umm... I thought Francine was in pain.  I... er... I heard her moaning and I came in to make sure she was okay.”

“Beaman, I’m okay.  I’m more than okay.”  She looked at me, brushed my hair off my forehead and lightly kissed my lips.  “You can be the first to wish us joy, Beaman.  We just got engaged.”

I thought Beaman was going to faint.  All the color drained out of his chinless face and I could swear I saw him sway a little.  He didn’t answer Franny, he just kind of spluttered and spun on his heel and walked out of the office, slamming the door behind him.

Shaking my head I looked round at my special girl.  “He’s such a creep.  Whoever gave him his code name got it totally right!”

“That was Harry.  He just instinctively knew the right name for each and every one of us.”

Raising my hand I stroked her cheek with my knuckles and, between butterfly kisses on her lips, I had to comment on Harry’s choice of code name for her.  “Well he got yours right, you’re definitely a Janni, now if only I knew all your special talents.”

“That’s something that’s going to take you a long time to discover.”

“I’ve got the rest of my life to find out, and trust me, I will uncover all your hidden talents.  I’m going to be relentless; I’m going to torture you until you show me all of them.”

“Torture me?”  The way her fingers were drawing circles on my spine, I think she was the winner in the torture stakes.  My pants were suddenly extremely tight.

“Yeah, just you wait until I get you into bed later.”  And I pulled her to me, once again capturing her lips with mine.







Chapter End Notes:

** The Australian toilet seat reference, refers to the red back spider which likes to hide in dark places and is sometimes found under toilet seats in outdoor toilets.  See http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Red-back_spider

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