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Standing and observing his reflection in the mirror, Lee Stetson, the once suave, debonair, handsome ladies man of the Washington branch of the Agency was not only perplexed about his current situation, he was downright terrified. Everything had been going so good, he had been on top of the world two weeks ago, but all that changed within a matter of moments, and the hell of it was, he wasn't even sure what he had done!

For the last two weeks he had been living on pins and needles, trying with all he had to talk to Amanda, but she continually brushed him off, and even went so far as to ignore him! It was so far from the characteristics of his Amanda that he wasn't sure how to respond to it. He called time and again at the house, knowing damn good and well that she was home, only to be told by Dotty that she wasn't available or wasn't in.

At the office, she had avoided his every attempt to get her alone, sidestepping him during meetings and hurrying back to the bullpen where she'd been working on a background check, and burying herself back into her work. She hadn't graced the Q-bureau since that faithful day she slapped him then slammed the door in his face and he couldn't fathom the reason behind the reaction.

He'd tried to be understanding, thinking something was bothering her on the home front and he was just getting the slack from it, he'd tried being diplomatic. Hell four days ago he'd even tried begging her to talk to him, and everything failed.

He was getting desperate!

She had made it known in no uncertain terms that she didn't want to see him, to talk to him, or to have anything to do with him whatsoever. She had called him a selfish bastard! Lee just didn't understand how his world could be turned upside down so quickly and without cause. Amanda always talked to him! Even during some of their harder times in the past, she never closed up like this and her reaction was scaring him to death!

With a sigh, he gingerly twisted the small gold band he held between his fingers and regarded it silently as he leaned against the sink basin of his bathroom. "Amanda this is killing me," he whispered, feeling the warmth of his tears stinging his eyes. "Why are you doing this to me? What happened between us? How can I make this right and get my wife back?"

Gripping the ring tightly in his fist, he twirled around and stomped back into the living room, his shirt- tail flapping in his wake. Snagging the phone off its base, he quickly dialed the number he knew by heart and held his breath as it rang through on the other end.

"Hello?" Came the soft reply.

"Amanda, it's me. Please don't hang up!" he pleaded quickly.

"I told you not to call me here!" Came the heated reply.

"I want to talk to you, I need to…"

"Leave me alone!" she hissed then the phone went dead before he could utter another sound.

He stared at the receiver held tightly in his hand, the hurt from her words boiling through his veins. Without thought, he flung the ring he held across the room, slamming the phone back in place with a shouted curse. "God Damnmit!"

Storming across the room he grabbed for a bottle of liquor sitting on his bar, not carry what he drank, but knew he had to have something strong. Sloshing scotch out on the surface as he quickly poured a glass full, he downed the fiery contents without hesitation, grimacing as the liquor slammed through his system. Not stopping there, he filled his glass three more times and disposed of its contents in the same manner.

"Why do you hate me?" he whimpered, sliding down the wall, all his energy draining from his body as quickly as he drained glass after glass. "What did I do? I don't even know what I did."

"I love you so much Amanda, you're my life… My life…" he whispered, closing his eyes. Sitting there on the floor, drinking straight from the bottle, his mind drifted back to that afternoon in the office and the abrupt reception he had received.

It had been like any other day as far as he knew. He had been in a meeting with Billy most of the afternoon and had been looking forward to seeing with Amanda and making plans to slip away for dinner together. They hadn't seen each other in over a week and he missed her terribly.

The secret marriage had seemed like a good idea when they first started out, but he was beginning to realize how stupid it really was. They hardly saw each other privately, and when they tried something or someone was constantly interrupting them. When they were at his place, it was Billy or the Agency, and her family when they were at hers.

He knew she had commitments to Dotty and the boys, but he wanted her to himself once in a while, just once in a while. He had made the comment a few months back that their marriage felt like working on the fire department, three days on and four days off. It couldn't have been more true.

He hadn't seen her romantically in almost two months, a kiss here or a hug there hardly sufficed. Getting privacy at work was next to impossible and they couldn't swing more than a quick dinner together in the evenings, and those had been few and far between.

He had been looking forward to inviting her to dinner, then trying to sweep her away for a few days up to the Cumberland so that they could spend some quality time together. He had had it all worked out, he was going to spring the surprise on her that night. He had already talked to Billy about getting them some time off, three full days to do whatever they wanted. For them just to be man and wife.

But when he stepped into the Q-Bureau that afternoon, the tension in the air had been so thick it nearly suffocated him. She had been sitting at her desk, staring at nothing, just sitting there. He immediately picked up that something was wrong and his cheerful greeting was cut off somewhere between his lips and his throat before he could even utter it.

"Amanda, what's wrong?" he questioned softly, kneeling down beside her desk. "Has something happened to Phillip or Jamie?" He had never seen her quite so upset. And she was, the firm, thin line of her lips as she held them tightly together, was a clear indication that she was holding something inside. He could see the almost tears welling up but she refused to allow them to fall.

She just sat there, refusing to speak to him, which scared him even more than had she began rambling on about whatever crisis it was. Reaching out a strong hand, he meant to cover hers with it when she jerked away, almost as if his touch was death itself.

"Leave me alone!"

Her words had cut through him like a knife piercing his heart. He hadn't expected that response. He had rocked back on his heels as if she had slapped him, the confusion he felt clearly showing in his features.

"What's the matter?" he had repeated, trying to draw some sort of information from her concerning her unorthodox behavior toward him.

"As if you didn't know! How long did you think it'd take me to find out? Huh? How long were you going to play me for the fool?" she shouted, rising quickly to her feet, storming away from the desk.

He was at a loss for words he didn't know what the hell she was talking about. "Amanda what?" he returned in a strong voice, rising to his feet. "Why would you say something like that me? I love you," he finished, stepping toward her.

That was when it happened.

She reached out and slapped him so hard across the face he had staggered back and nearly fallen had her desk not interrupted his stumble. She had taken him off guard. She had shocked the hell out of him with that action. "You selfish Bastard!" she had screamed, then stormed out of the Q-Bureau leaving him standing there daze and confused.

The few moments it took him to compose himself after that scene was all she needed for a head start and by the time he had bolted out of the Q-Bureau and down the steps she was gone. He had torn out after her, thinking she was going home, but when he got there, her car was nowhere to be seen and Dotty hadn't heard from her.

He had spent the rest of the afternoon trying to find his wife but to no avail. It was as if she vanished off the face of the earth. Finally upset and worried he had returned home, calling her house immediately upon entering the apartment. It was then that he had been informed for the first time by Dotty that Amanda hadn't been available.

The next day she hadn't even come up to the Q-Bureau. He hadn't known she was at work until he came down into the bullpen and found her sitting at a small desk in the back, working on some files. He had tried then to talk to her, but she had just sat there, working the computer, refusing to look up.

How he wanted to pull her to her feet and shake the truth out of her, but he couldn't. He couldn't even talk to her in the crowded bullpen, at least not say the things he wanted to say. Finally, after several tense moments she looked up, staring him square in the eyes and told him to leave her alone, that she had work to do.

What scared him the most was that she hadn't gotten emotional, not like the day before. She was calm, rational, and in no uncertain-terms telling him to get out of her life. He nearly crumbled right there. The marriage that he had fought so hard for was deteriorating before his very eyes and he didn't know why.

Things only got worse from there. She wouldn't be with him alone for anything, he had tried and tried, but she refused. She always came up with excuses when they had cases, and for some ungodly reason Billy seemed to be letting her go. He just kept dishing out those damn files for her to work on, never giving her a moments availability to be out there with him.

He hadn't slept, hadn't eaten, he knew he was falling part. Night after night he sat at the phone calling the house and being denied the person he needed more than life itself. Francine had made an off the wall comment yesterday about his appearance. Amanda had been right there after the meeting, but if she'd heard it she didn't react or she just didn't care. He refused to believe the latter.

He'd gone through his liquor supply in no time, drinking himself into oblivion to try and ease the pain. But nothing had worked. The pain was still there every morning when he was forced to look at his reflection in the mirror.

He knew he looked like shit.

Losing everything you held dear tended to do that to a person. His eyes were almost black from lack of sleep, his appearance unkempt. But he didn't care. All that mattered was finding a way to bring his wife back into his life.

"Oh Amanda, why? Why are you discarding me?" he moaned, covering his face with his hands as he allowed the nearly empty scotch bottle to slid between his legs. "Please God tell me what I did…"

Sitting there, feeling the liquor consuming his soul, he wiped his eyes quickly, then pushed the offending bottle away and crawled across the floor, searching for the thrown ring. After several minutes of near futile searching he finally discovered it behind the small shelve and drew it out as if it was a priceless piece of china, carefully placing it on his finger.

"I've got to see you, you've got to talk to me," he whispered, staring at the tiny gold band. Staggering to his feet, he stumbled across the floor of his living room and fell against the wall with a hard grunt. Ignoring his inability to walk straight he snagged his key ring off the entranceway table and ripped his door open, slamming it behind him.

Disregarding his and other's safety he tore through town, weaving in and out of traffic recklessly. He was going to see her and he was going to talk to her tonight if he had to break her damn door down to do it!

Twenty minutes later, he squealed the corvette to a stop in front of her house and nearly fell out of the door in his haste to get to the dwelling. The porch light came on an instant later as he staggered up the walk with determination. He saw the curtain move, but Amanda never came into sight.

Grabbing the post of the porch he drew himself to the door, banging on it roughly with his fist. "Amanda! Amanda, I know you're in there! Open this door and talk to me!" he shouted.

No one came to the door.

Several porch lights came on in the surrounding homes, but Lee could care less. He was tired of meekly waiting around for her to talk to him. He was taking the upper hand! "I'm not leaving until you come out, do you hear me?" he shouted, banging harder. "Open this damn door!"

An instant later the door swung open and he nearly toppled down the steps in surprise. "Get the hell out of here!" She hissed, pushing him back. "What are you doing?"

"Trying to talk to my wife!" Lee growled back.

"You're drunk! Go Home!"

"No! I'm not leaving here until you tell me what the hell's happening!" he shouted back.

"Lee go home! I've called the police," she warned, giving him a hateful look. "I don't want the boys hearing this! Get off of my lawn!"

"Yeah right! You're not getting rid of me this easily Amanda! I demand to know why the hell you're pushing me away! I want you to talk to me!" he hissed, grabbing for her arm.

"Don't touch me!" she shot back, shoving him away roughly.

He staggered, lost his balance as his foot slipped off the step and tumbled into the yard with a hard groan. "I don't owe you anything!' she continued, oblivious to his distress. "Now get in that car and get the hell out of here!"

"No!" he shouted, pulling himself to his knees. "I'm tired of being sidestepped! I want some answers!" Seeing a couple out on their porch at the next house over, looking toward her house with concern, he turned toward them hatefully. "This is none of your damn business!" he yelled, waving them off.

"Shut up! You're waking up the whole neighborhood!" she complained, as he struggled back to his feet. "Go home Lee! You don't belong here!"

"I don't belong? I don't belong! You're my wife! What do you mean I don't belong? Where else do I belong than at your side? How can you stand there and say that Amanda? To me? I love you! I love you more than anything in this world!" he shot back.

A police car pulled up quickly into the driveway, two uniformed officers surging out. Lee barely gave them a glance as he pointed a weaving finger toward her. "If you'd just talk to me, I wouldn't have to resort to this!" he accused loudly. "You won't give me the time of day and I deserve to know why!"

"Hey, hey, why don't we quiet down huh? You're waking up all the neighbors," one of the officers suggested reaching for Lee's arm as they crossed the yard quickly.

"Screw the neighbors," Lee hissed, brushing the man's hand away. "They can keep their nose in their own damn business!"

"He said calm down buddy!" his partner warned sternly.

"Kiss my ass!"

"Lee, shut up!" Amanda hissed.

"What's going on here ma'am?"

"I'm trying to talk to my wife, you gotta problem with that?" Lee demanded harshly.

"Were you the one that called in?" one asked.

"Yes I do," his partner shot back, glaring at Lee. "When you're screaming it at the top of your lungs."

"Yes officer I was. He's drunk and he's out here banging on my door, I've got young children inside that doesn't need to hear this," Amanda returned quickly.

"Then talk to me," Lee pressed, holding out his hands. "Do you really think I wanted to come down here and do this? How else am I supposed to get your attention, Amanda? You ignore me at work… you won't even give me two minutes on the phone without hanging up on me. I can't go on like this. Tell me what happened!" he insisted, stepping forward.

She held out her hand, stopping him short. "Go home, I don't want to deal with this right now."

"You never want to deal with it!" he shouted roughly. "I just want to talk to you damnmit!"

"I said calm down!" The officer demanded, grabbing Lee by the arm.

"Let me go!" he growled, shoving the policeman roughly.

Before Amanda realized what was happening, both policemen had tackled Lee to the ground, trying to force him down as he fought at them, screaming obscenities. He struggled against them, kicking and punching, almost breaking free until he was pulled back down by the shirt face first into the grass.

"No! Don't hurt him!" Amanda screamed, trying to step in, but the police had it well in hand after a few well placed kicks and slams with the bully stick. With his hands jerked behind and upward, cuffs were quickly applied as one of the officers dug his knee roughly into Lee's shoulder blades to keep him down.

"I'm a fucking Federal Agent, let me the hell go!" Lee shouted, his voice muffled by the ground as he struggled relentlessly to get up.

"I don't care if you're Yankee Doodle if you don't lie still we're going to mace you!" the one on top of him warned.

"You son-of-a-bitches, when I get up from here I'm going to kick you asses!" Lee shouted, jerking around to dislodge the man on top.

"Hold him Slim! Don't let the bastard up!" the other warned as he sidestepped a quick kick from Lee.

"Please stop! I don't want him hurt!" Amanda pleaded, grabbing the officer by the arm.

"Stay back lady!" he warned, dodging again.

"Shit, I'm losing him!" Slim complained, then grunted in pain as Lee lifted his head and connected squarely with his chin. He lost his hold and Lee shimmied around, stumbling to his knees, then his feet quickly.

Shoving the protesting, screaming Amanda away, the other shot forward, jerking a small can from his belt, sprayed Lee in the face quickly.

"Ahhh…!" Lee hissed squeezing his eyes shut as the pepper spray did its job. His eyes felt like they were on fire, burning into his head. A well-placed fist took him to his knees as the breath left his body in a loud "Oufff"

He sagged forward, only to be grabbed by the neck and hoisted back to his feet roughly. They began dragging his still struggling form across the yard to their waiting patrol car despite his attempt to stop them.

"Amanda! Amanda!" he screamed, fighting against them until another hard punch took him down. Without hesitation they shoved him into the back of the car, slamming the door shut roughly.

Amanda was left standing in her front yard, hand covering her mouth, her entire body trembling with what had just happened. Lee was sitting up in the car by now, screaming at her, kicking at the windows in a relentless attempt to get out as they quickly backed out of the driveway and sped away.

TBC
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