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Disclaimer: The characters from the world of Stephanie Plum are the sole property of the very talented author: Janet Evanovich.  I have only borrowed and do not wish to make money off of them.  This story, however, is copyrighted to the mentioned author. This story is for entertainment purposes ONLY.

 Author’s Note:  This was written in response to TT’s Valentine Challenge on PerfectlyPlum. The prompt line that had to be used was “If I ever get my hands on him, Cupid is a dead man.  And many thanks to AmyF, my partner in crime, for beta’ing this piece for me.

“Are you happy, Babe?”

If the vehicle had been struck by lightning I couldn’t have been more surprised. Batman actually spoke while on a surveillance, and I didn’t even have to keep prodding to get him to say something.

I pondered his question for a moment or two. I guessed he was asking me about my life and not about the surveillance job, that was presently killing me with boredom. It was a question that for the first time, I really had an honest answer for.

“Yes. Yes, I am.” I looked across at the man who had been my best friend and mentor for the past few years. “Ranger, for the first time in my life, I’m comfortable in my skin. I know where I am and I know where I’m going. More importantly, I know who I am.”

Ranger’s blank face gave nothing away. But as he slanted a look at me he raised an eyebrow as he asked, “He’s good to you?”

I thought back over the past few weeks and answered from my heart. “Yes, he’s good to me. He loves me and I love him. Our life will never ever be ordinary,” I gave a little laugh at that, ordinary would never even come close, “and I’ll never be a Burg wife. But I know I’ll be happy.”

He went back to being silent and I started to think back over the past few weeks.

It all started when he’d arrived unexpectedly a few weeks ago. He’d caught me in my bedroom fresh out of the shower. Well one thing led to another until Joe walked in unannounced and caught us in flagrante delicto. That’s when Diesel proposed.

Just like always when I have to make the most important decisions in my life, I evaded giving a direct response and I gave him an answer of a ‘definite maybe’. He’s being very patient with me and isn’t pressuring me to make a decision. I still don’t think I’m cut out for married life, but then who needs a piece of paper to stay with someone till death do us part? And I know I want to spend the rest of my life with Diesel, isn’t that enough?

In the meantime, we’ve been working on my Unmentionable powers. Yes, apparently I’m an Unmentionable. Who’d have thought it? Diesel told me that every Unmentionable has their own special abilities plus some of the common ones like ‘popping’ in and out of rooms, scrambling TV signals and making locks meaningless.

Apparently I’m an empath. That means that I know what people are feeling even when they try to hide it. Really, I think it’s just an extension of women’s intuition; but Diesel says it’s not, it’s really an Unmentionable ability.

Diesel’s managed to teach me how to open locks and even to lock them again without a key or tools. I’ve got to admit this has been the biggest help in my line of work.

We’re still working on ‘popping’ in and out of places – it’s not as easy as it looks. I’d like to believe him when he says that I’ll eventually get the hang of it, but I have my doubts. Meanwhile it certainly adds spice to a relationship when your guy suddenly appears out of thin air to help scrub your back while you’re in the shower.

Once again, Ranger’s voice broke the silence in the car, “I always thought I’d lose you to the cop.”

Again he spoke without me prompting him. What’s with him tonight?

Did he just say that he thought he’d lose me? To Joe? Had he been changing his mind about relationships? Hmm.... maybe I should try out that empathic thing I was talking about.

I opened my mind and let it go blank. Really not a difficult task while sitting in a vehicle on surveillance. Suddenly I could feel him. I mean really feel him. It was like I was sitting inside Ranger’s head. I could feel his sadness... and love. Oh my gosh, he loves me. This isn’t right. One person shouldn’t be allowed to look inside the head of another like this. I felt like I was intruding on something incredibly private.

I closed my mind and tried to think of other things. My bladder. That’s a good thing to think of, or a bad one depending on the situation. It was full and I desperately needed a bathroom. I knew I shouldn’t have supersized my cola earlier. Probably wasn’t a good thing to think about my bladder after all, since I didn’t think there was a bathroom for miles, and we were about a half hour from the next shift coming to relieve us.

Squirming a little in discomfort, I decided it was probably a good idea to get my mind off my full bladder. The only thing left to think about though, was what I’d just discovered inside Batman’s mind.

I couldn’t help but wonder why I hadn’t realized before that Ranger loved me. He’s always looked after me, made sure I was safe and cared for me when I’ve been hurt. Then again, maybe I always suspected, but he had continuously attached conditions to any relationship we might have had, so I would always second guess myself, or at least his feelings for me. Now it’s too late. I was in love with Diesel and I was happy.

Damn it all to hell, I’m tired of the gods playing with my love life. Dickie screwed me over. Joe said he loved me but he had wanted me to be someone I wasn’t. And Ranger. Ranger wouldn’t share his feelings with me, he wouldn’t let me in. I looked over at the man in black and couldn’t decide if I was disappointed or not. I realized, perhaps a little sadly, that I wasn’t. Diesel completed me. He was my future, not Batman and not Joe.

Suddenly I felt very sad. Something that I had longed for over the past few years had slipped through my fingers, and in the process I had hurt a really good man. But then again, I guess it wasn’t really all my fault. It wasn’t like Ranger had stepped up to the plate and admitted the truth to me.

I know that the god of love isn’t an Unmentionable but I’m pretty sure someone knows how to contact him. He’d better hope I never do, because if I ever get my hands on him, Cupid is a dead man.

End

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