Title: Roller Coaster Ride

Author: Rita (dittypiddler)

Disclaimer: Scarecrow and Mrs. King belong to Shoot the Moon Productions and Warner Brothers. No infringement intended.

Rating: PG

Summary: Amanda is fed up with Lee’s treatment of her.

Feedback: Always

Author’s Note: Thanks to Miriam for her usual fine beta job. And, of course, thanks to the one and only MEAP Team.

Time frame: Sometime in first season. After "Savior" anyway.

Amanda King stared at Lee Stetson's departing back. She was speechless. It didn't happen often, but this was one of those rare times.

Once again, Lee had jumped down her throat for no apparent reason. At least the reason sure as heck wasn't apparent to her. She didn’t even know what he was upset about.

But, whatever it was, she didn't deserve so much sarcasm. Or being yelled at.

This had been going on for weeks now. It felt like years.

And, yet, sometimes Lee could be so . . . so . . . sweet. Charming and friendly and . . . nice.

Then, the next minute, he was cold and hard and angry. Why? She only tried to help him. And now this! Well, this was the last straw. This was the straw that broke the camel's back.

Amanda suddenly felt very tired. "I can't take it anymore. Enough is enough."

She picked up her purse and walked across the bullpen toward Mr. Melrose’s office.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

"Yes, Amanda?" Billy smiled at her. "Have a seat. What can I do for you?"

She stopped fiddling with her necklace and sank into the chair. How should she start?

Billy’s smile faded. "Is something wrong?"

Just say it, Amanda. "Well, sir. You see, sir. It's about Lee. That is, it's about me working with Lee. Sir, I just don't think I can anymore. Work with Lee, I mean. It's just that . . . well, I think that . . . what I mean to say is . . . Sir, I would like to be assigned another partner. Not that Lee has ever considered me his partner, or anything close to it . . . but, I think I would work better with someone else. Another agent. Or even a desk job would be better than . . ." She paused for breath.

"Amanda!" Billy held up his hand. "Just tell me what the problem is." 

She stared at the floor and tried to blink back her tears. "Well, sir. I . . . I . . . I just can't take it anymore, sir! I don't know whether I'm coming or going with that man. It's like riding an emotional roller coaster. It's up and down! Up and down! One minute he's being nice, and the next minute he's biting my head off, and I don't even know what I did wrong. I'm always on pins and needles. I never know what’s going to set him off. It could be a loose button on his shirt, for all I know, sir. Or maybe his precious car got dinged! It's too much! It's just too much."

Billy sighed and reached for his Tums. "Amanda, I know Lee can be, uh, a bit difficult sometimes." He grimaced, as if aware of the magnitude of his understatement. "But I’m sure we can work out the problem. Whatever it is."

"That's just it, sir!" Amanda’s voice sounded slightly hysterical to her own ears, but the words kept rushing out. "I don't know what the problem is. I never know what the problem is. He won't tell me what the problem is. If I knew what I did to upset him, then . . . why . . . well, I wouldn't do it again. Naturally. Of course I wouldn't. But he won't talk about it. He just yells at me."

She took a deep breath and tried to slow her pounding heart. "Sir, I really think it would be better if you assigned me to work with someone else while I still have my head attached to my shoulders. I think I do contribute something to the Agency, but it's just really hard for me to do my work well when I feel like I'm going to jump out of my skin waiting for Lee to freak out!" There. She’d said it.

Billy swallowed a handful of Tums. "All right, Amanda. I realize you're upset."

She nodded. "Yes, I am."

"But I don't want you to make a hasty decision. One you might regret later." Billy leaned forward, his face concerned. "Why don't you take the rest of the day off. Better yet, take the whole weekend off. Go home and think about this. Try to put things into perspective. Then, if you still feel the same way on Monday, I'll approve your transfer to a new partner. Fair enough?"

"Yes, sir. Thank you, sir. I'll do that. I'll go home and try to . . . well . . . do what you said, sir. Thank you, sir."

Amanda left her supervisor’s office feeling no better than when she entered. She saw Lee across the bullpen, but she ignored him and headed for the elevator.

She would go home and think. Make herself a hot cup of tea, take a relaxing bubble bath, and think. Think about what her world would be like without Lee Stetson in it.

A lot calmer. And a lot more dull.

Thank goodness Mother took the boys to visit Aunt Lillian. Amanda couldn't bear to face them right now.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

"SCARECROW! My office! NOW!"

Lee jumped when he heard Billy's familiar bellow. Now what? What a day! First the scene with Amanda. Now Billy seemed to have his shorts tied in a knot. He shrugged a shoulder at the redhead from the steno pool – Sheila? Shirley? – and sauntered across the bullpen. Trying to look nonchalant, he straightened his tie and entered Billy’s office.

Billy glared at him.

Lee tried to think. Had he messed up recently? He couldn’t remember anything.

"Stetson! Just what in the blue blazes is going on with you and Amanda?" Billy was in full voice.

"Amanda? Nothing’s going on with me and Amanda." Lee suddenly felt his collar tightening. How could Billy know about their fight? Hell, it wasn't even a fight. He just lost his temper about something. He couldn’t even remember why.

"Well, there’s sure as hell SOMETHING going on with you two. Amanda was just in here. She asked to be assigned to another agent or even a desk job!"

"She what?" Lee’s stomach dropped like he’d just reached the ground floor on a high-speed elevator. Running a hand through his hair, he started to pace. Why would Amanda want to leave him? The argument hadn't been that bad. He wished he could remember what started it.

"You heard me! I don't understand you, Lee. I honestly don't understand you. Amanda has always been there for you. Take the Savior case. Half a dozen highly-trained agents turned and ran when they learned that the bomb was armed. Amanda didn't run! She stayed right by your side." Billy seemed to be getting angrier by the minute.

"Hell, man! The first time you met her, she walked into an unknown situation--alone and unarmed--just because she thought you were in danger. And if I remember right, and I DO, she saved your sorry butt! You have never had to look around for your partner, have you? She's always been right behind you. And you treat her like dirt!"

Billy paused and shook his head, wordlessly. He reached for his Tums again, and when he put the bottle down, his voice was quieter. "Whether you admit it or not, Lee, you and Amanda are a good team. You work well together except when you act like the North end of a South bound horse!"

Lee listened to Billy's tirade with a tight jaw and clenched fists. Well, he deserved it. He did treat Amanda badly at times. He didn't know why.

No, he did know why. She was getting too close. He couldn’t let her get close. He couldn’t let anyone get close.

"All right." He sighed heavily. "What do you want me to do? If Amanda doesn't want to work with me anymore, I can't force her."

Billy just stared at him, as if incredulous. Then he sighed. "And I can’t force you not to act like a damn fool. But at least I can order you to think about it. I’m telling you the same thing I told Amanda. Take the weekend and think about what you really want. If you want to keep working with Amanda, then you’re going to change your ways and stop acting like a jackass! If you decide you don't want to work with her, then I'll assign her to another agent. Someone who’ll appreciate her."

Lee nodded numbly.

"Amanda has great instincts," Billy went on. "She thinks on her feet and has the potential to be a very good agent. I do not want to see her talents wasted. You have until Monday to decide. Now get out of here!" He opened his desk drawer, dropped the bottle of Tums inside, and slammed the drawer with a bang.

Without another word, Lee left Billy's office. His stomach was churning, and his heart felt like it was being squeezed by a giant fist.

What had Amanda King done to him anyway?

Oh, come on! He had been quite happy without Amanda King.

It wasn’t like he’d miss her all that much.

Lee rang for the elevator. He stepped into it and sighed. Ahh, HELL. He ran both hands through his hair in exasperation. His head and his heart were on a collision course. Right now, he didn't know which one would derail first.

~~~~~~~~~~

Lee was only half listening to his dinner companion. He rarely paid much attention to what passed for conversation with Cindi. What would come after dinner, at his apartment, was the interesting part.

He studied his date, seated across the restaurant table. Cindi was tall, very pretty, with long blonde hair. She was certainly well endowed in all the right places, but she was no Einstein. Right now she was rattling on about something her hairdresser had said. What did he care what her hairdresser said? Cindi was blonde by request anyway.

Amanda’s hair was natural. Everything about her was natural.

Cindi continued to rattle on.

Lee stifled a yawn.

At least Amanda’s rambles were somewhat entertaining. As long as he could keep the room from spinning.

Where did that come from?

Lee sighed. He hadn’t been able to stop thinking about Amanda since Billy gave him that ultimatum this afternoon. Now he had to decide what he really wanted.

The trouble was, he didn’t know what he wanted. Amanda offered him her friendship. As long as they just stayed friends, he could handle things. But he kept having these little . . . He didn’t know what to call them.

They certainly weren’t romantic feelings. Amanda King was not his type. No way. She was a suburban housewife with two kids, a mother, and a mortgage. Definitely not his type.

Sure, Amanda was pretty enough. Beautiful, even. She had nice eyes. Soft, warm, caring eyes. Her smile wasn’t bad. The way it lit up the whole room.

Good Lord, Stetson. Get a grip.

What was wrong with him? He just had to decide if he wanted to work with the woman. That’s all. Period.

He tried to focus on Cindi. As long as he thought about her attributes, he could manage. But her conversation was boring him into another dimension.

Amanda might be annoying, but she was never boring.

Suddenly Lee had no interest in Cindi, her hairdresser, or her attributes. And he was tired of thinking about Amanda. He just wanted to go home and stop thinking at all.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Lee rolled over and looked at the bedside clock for the umpteenth time. This was ridiculous. He had begged off with Cindi, saying he needed to get some sleep, and now he couldn’t sleep.

This shouldn’t be so hard a decision. Did he or didn’t he?

Only Cindi’s hairdresser knew for sure. Lee grimaced at his own joke.

All right, analyze the problem. He was a trained agent. He could do that.

Billy pointed out the many times Amanda had helped him. Sure, Amanda had been helpful at times--when she wasn’t getting in the way.

Okay, he grudgingly acknowledged. He could do worse for a partner.

Hold it right there. He did not work with a partner. If Amanda was his partner, he could lose her. Just like he lost everybody else.

So, she was a pretty good assistant. Yeah, that was it. She was his assistant. For window dressing, and on the milk runs, and to help with the paperwork.

As long as that was all she was, he could adapt. As long as he didn’t lose her smile, her laugh, her warmth. He could adapt to anything.

He needed to talk to her. Make it clear exactly what she was to him. Nothing personal. They were just business associates and . . . friends? He could manage being friends. It’s not like he wanted anything else. Right?

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Amanda was not having a good day. All she could think about was Lee. She had tried doing housework, but she seemed to be running on autopilot. After putting the milk in the freezer and the ice cream in the refrigerator, and producing a supply of pink underwear for the boys by adding Phillip’s red wool sweater to the "hot" load of laundry, she gave up on being productive.

Now, she wasn’t faring much better in trying to read Mother’s romance novel. No matter how hard she tried to concentrate, Lee kept barging into her thoughts.

All right. Mr. Melrose told her to think about the problem. So she had to stop beating around the bush and think about it. Did she or did she not want to work with Lee Stetson?

Lee had his faults. That’s for sure. He was arrogant, self-centered, and a womanizer. He had the worst manners, and a temper to match. Okay. That’s good. She was making progress.

Now for his positive points. Lee was a good agent. The best. He could be infuriating--always telling her to stay in the car. But he did take care of her, tried to keep her safe. He would never talk about his feelings. But she knew, in his own way, he cared for her. He could be so insensitive. But he was always doing little things for her.

Wait a minute. She was supposed to be listing Lee’s positive points. The trouble was, his most positive points were all physical. His smile, his eyes, his lips, his laugh. His smile, his eyes, his lips, his hands. His smile, his eyes, his . . .

Stop it, Amanda! Stop it right now. You are not Lee Stetson’s type. Far from it. You could never be anything more than friends. You don’t even know if he wants to be friends.

You are supposed to be deciding if you can work with the man. Now stop this silliness and think about what you’re supposed to be thinking about . . .

His eyes, his smile, his lips, his laugh, his hands, his body. Oh my gosh!

She needed to talk to him. That was the only way they could work this thing out. Now if he would just talk to her.

"Hello?"

"Amanda, we need to talk."

"Lee? Can’t you ever say hello?" She already knew the answer to that one.

"Hello, Amanda. We need to talk. Can you meet me at the Jefferson Memorial in half an hour?"

"Yeah, I guess so." Well, that solved one problem. At least he wanted to talk.

"Good."

She heard a click, and then a dial tone.

Couldn’t that man ever say good-bye? Honestly! He did have the worst manners. What did he want to talk about?

Maybe he was sorry for the way he’d been acting.

Maybe he didn’t want to work with her anymore.

Or even see her again.

Well, there was only one way to find out. Trying to ignore the butterflies in her stomach, Amanda grabbed her purse and keys and headed for her car.

In front of the Jefferson Memorial, Lee stopped pacing long enough to look at his watch. Couldn’t Amanda ever be on time?

Why was he so anxious for her to get there, anyway? He still hadn’t worked out exactly what he was going to say. Well, he just had to make it clear where they stood, if they were going to work together. If she ever got there.

Finally! He saw Amanda walking slowly toward him. She looked as nervous as he felt.

"Hi."

"Hi." Lee suddenly felt like a schoolboy called to the principal’s office. "Uh, Amanda. Look, why don’t we sit down?"

Good. Buy some time. He put his hand on her back and guided her to a nearby bench.

After sitting down, he tried to think of a way to start the conversation. He couldn’t come up with anything.

"Lee? You said you wanted to talk?"

"Yeah. I think we need to, uh, you know . . . talk."

Smooth, Stetson, real smooth.

"Okay. I’m listening."

"Yeah. Okay. Listen, Amanda, Billy told me you came to see him. He said you wanted to work with someone else, and I just thought we should . . . uh . . . you know . . . talk about it." Oh, God. This was harder than he thought it would be.

"Well, I’m glad to hear you say that, Lee, because I really wanted to talk to you, too." Amanda stared down at the ground and then looked up at him. "It’s not that I really want to work with someone else. I don’t. Not really. It’s just that I don’t know if I can work with you anymore. I know you think that I’m a burden and that I get in the way. I try not to. And I certainly don’t mean to. But I think I do contribute something to our partnership. Oh, sorry. Sorry. I know you don’t consider us partners, and maybe we’re not really official partners because I’m not a real agent, and you are, but still I think I do help out." She paused for breath.

How did she do that? He had never known anyone who could say so much in one breath.

"Amanda, I--."

"But, Lee, it’s just the way you treat me! I don’t think I deserve it. I might be able to understand why you get so mad at me if I only knew what I did wrong, but you won’t tell me what I did wrong. You just yell at me, and I never know why, because you never tell me why. You just yell!"

Why had he worried about what to say? Obviously Amanda wasn’t going to let him get a word in edgewise. He tried anyway, knowing the effort was probably hopeless. "Amanda, I--."

"And it hurts, Lee! It really does. Because you know I respect you as an agent, and I know I don’t have your skills or any of that stuff, but I think I could learn if you’d give me a chance. And I do think I can help you if you just let me. I know you don’t think you need any help, but, Lee, everybody needs help sometimes. You can’t always do everything by yourself. You’re not Superman, even if you do try to act like Superman and . . . I think we could be good friends, Lee, if you would let me be your friend. I’d really like to be your friend, and I think everybody needs a friend, even you, whether you admit it or not and--"

"A-MAN-DA." The spinning had started.

"Yes?"

"Can I have a turn now?"

"Of course. I’m sorry." She looked down at her hands.

Lee took a deep breath. "First of all, I never said that you don’t contribute. You do. Actually, you’ve been, uh . . . very . . . ah . . . helpful. On occasion. On more than one occasion, really. All right, you’ve been helpful on several occasions."

"Oh, Lee. Thank you. It’s so sweet of you to say that." Amanda smiled at him.

"You’re welcome. Now may I finish?" Breathe, Stetson, breathe.

"Of course. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to interrupt."

"Thank you. Where was I? Oh, yeah. Second, I didn’t say we couldn’t be friends. We can be friends. I just want you to understand that we’re not personally involved. In any way. We’re just . . . friends. And business associates. I don’t want there to be any misunderstandings, that’s all."

There. That should leave no doubt about where they stood.

Amanda’s eyes widened, and she crossed her arms on her chest. "Well, I know we’re not personally involved! But what’s that got to do with why you get so upset with me?"

Lee heaved a huge sigh. "I don’t know, Amanda. I honestly don’t know." This was not going well at all. "Look. It’s not easy for me to talk about . . . things. You know . . . stuff like this. I’m just not comfortable with it. Talking about it, I mean."

He ran his hand through his hair in frustration. Oh, Lord. He was starting to ramble almost as much as she did.

"What I’m trying to say, Amanda, is that I know I haven’t been fair to you in the past. I know I haven’t been as nice to you as I should have been. As nice as I should always be. And you’re right. You don’t deserve the way I’ve been treating you, and I’m sorry. I’m really very sorry."

Her expression softened, and then her smile lit up the whole Mall. "Oh, Lee. Thank you. Do you think maybe we could . . . you know . . . start over? Maybe start from scratch, so to speak?"

"I’d like that. I’d like that a lot." Lee breathed a sigh of relief. Now, see, Stetson. That wasn’t so hard.

"I’d like it a lot, too." Amanda patted his arm. "Friend."

Now that the dreaded talk was over, he almost felt like celebrating. "Hey. Would you like to go get something to eat? All this talking makes me kinda hungry. We can figure out how to tell Billy that Scarecrow and Mrs. King are still in business."

He laughed. Well, there was no harm in taking her to dinner. It wasn’t like he was asking her out on a date. And he was hungry.

Amanda laughed, too. "Sounds good. I think Mr. Melrose will be happy. He seems to think we work well together. And, you know what? I agree with him."

"So do I, Amanda. So do I." Lee winked and flashed her a grin. "Let’s go have some dinner. I know a great little place not too far from here."

Hmmm. Scarecrow and Mrs. King. Now that didn’t sound bad at all. No, not bad at all.

The End? Not Exactly!