Chapter 1

Lee’s eyes jerked open as he felt his breath shortening due to the heavy weight pressing against his chest. Lifting his head with an agent’s caution to determine the exact cause of his discomfort, he quickly relaxed, and smiled warmly. Amanda, his wife of almost a year, was draped across his chest sleeping peacefully. Wrapping his index finger around one of her dark brown curls, he inhaled the aroma of flowers that flowed from her hair. With a quick glance at the clock that rested on his nightstand, regret overwhelmed his contentment. ‘Already six o’clock.’

The previous evening had been the first time in weeks that they had been able to share an entire night together as man and wife. They had enjoyed each other’s bodies, slowly and thoroughly, without worrying about what time it was, or whether they needed to be somewhere.

Amanda shifted lightly against him and, as her hair tickled his neck, her hand slid across his warm thigh, causing a soft moan of pleasure to escape his lips. Afraid he had awakened her with his slight touch, he lifted his head to make sure her eyes were still closed.

Seeing her dark lashes resting against the contrast of her pale skin made him wish that it were still dark outside. He could hold her like this for a lifetime. He could live out the rest of his life, content in seclusion, just the two of them, hidden away from the outside world forever. The soft click of the clock’s hands reminded Lee that it was time for them to get out of bed and head into the office. "Amanda."

Amanda’s body shifted yet again at his soft whisper of her name. Wrapping her arms around his waist, she snuggled closer, attempting to deny that it was time to get up.

A soft chuckle rumbled in Lee’s chest. One thing he had learned about his new wife was that unless she had to get up and get the boys going, or there was a real reason to rise early, she enjoyed sleeping in late, and cuddling together in bed. Lifting his left hand, he began to gently stroke the dark curls he had earlier teased. "Come on, sleepyhead. Time to rise and shine."

Amanda opened her right eye at his playful tone and smiled wickedly to herself. She had been awake since his first movement that morning, but had remained still and silent. He knew that she enjoyed the quiet moments they shared on rare occasions like this and that she didn’t want it to end anymore than he did. Realizing that it was time to prepare for work, she couldn’t help but feel that she needed a little more motivation to become "fully" awake.

Lee closed his eyes and pressed his head back into the pillow as he felt her soft mouth trailing tender kisses against the bare skin of his chest. His body relaxed as she moved downward in small even circles. "Mmmm…Amanda."

She didn’t look up at his passion-filled face when he whispered her name between low moans of pleasure, but continued her task, until he grasped her shoulders and pulled her up to face him. "No fair."

In response, Amanda placed her lips over his, taking them both to the land of pleasure, before preparing for their day ahead.

Breakfast had consisted of coffee, toast, and sweet kisses. Regretfully, the shower they had shared after breakfast had been quick due to their lengthy stay in bed earlier that morning. Completely dressed and prepared for work, the couple joined hands and headed out of the apartment to face their day together.

Lee opened the car door for his wife, his eyes never leaving hers as he lost himself in the depths of her soul once more. In that moment, his finely-tuned guard against the evil that filled the world dropped, and he was unaware of the man standing a car length away. Lowering his head, he gently took his wife’s lips with his own and kissed her with the same passion that had delayed their departure for work.

It wasn’t until the next instant, when he felt her body lurch forward against his, that his mind registered the sharp report of a gun firing.

With her limp body in his arms, his eyes snapped around to locate from where the shot had been fired. Grabbing his gun with his left hand, his right still supporting Amanda’s weight, his years as an agent came into play as he fired off three shots, efficiently killing the man who had been making his getaway down the street.

Fear engulfed him as he felt a warm substance begin to ooze through the sleeve of his shirt. His gun dropped to the pavement simultaneously with his knees. Amanda’s body now swayed back and forth with his motions as he pressed her against his chest.

Time seemed to stand still as he looked into the lifeless eyes that were still open wide in shock. His fingers refused to move and search for a pulse; his voice didn’t scream out for help. Instead, he was lost in her eyes. He knew she was gone. He had felt the emotional connection between them break as soon as the gunfire had registered in his mind. "Dear God, please don’t take her from me. I love you, Amanda Stetson." His words were mere whispers, meant only to be heard by Amanda and the higher being. He could feel the presence of others around him. The sounds of people urging him to allow them to take her echoed in the back of his mind, but he sat there, holding her—waiting for an answer from God.

Lee bolted from the bed, his feet hitting the soft carpet as he worked frantically to clear the stinging sweat from his eyes so he could see his surroundings more clearly. Shaking his head in an attempt to come back to reality, he looked down at his hands. Finding them free of the dark, sticky harbinger of death began to ease his panic, and when his gaze caught the subtle signs that his wife had been next to him the night before, he finally felt his heart begin to slow.

Sitting heavily back onto the mattress, he continued to rub the sleep from his unshaven face, as memories of Amanda’s midnight exit came back to him. He had all but pleaded with her to stay, knowing in reality that she couldn’t. She had to take Jamie to an eight o’clock eye doctor’s appointment.

After a moment, he stood and made his way into the bathroom. Looking into the mirror above the sink, he sighed wearily at the dark circles under his eyes. In years past, they had come from too much drinking or too many late nights with Debbie, Lindsay, Barbie, or whoever had been the woman of the week. Now, however, they were a result of his inability to sleep without his wife by his side.

The nightmare, which had ripped him violently from sleep, had been occurring more and more often. Some days, he found himself having the dream with his eyes wide open, staring at the woman he loved more than life itself. He had told her, when she’d ask where his mind had been, that he was simply concentrating on a case, or he had given her some other excuse, but he was aware that before long, he would have to discuss the dreams with her. Amanda was his wife. Why was he having difficulty telling her the truth? The problem: what was he going to tell her?

After splashing cold water on his face to finish the waking process, he grabbed a towel from the rack behind the door and headed for the living room. ‘Yeah, Stetson. What are you going to tell her? Amanda…I know your family needs you and that I’m the one who came up with this crazy idea to have this damn secret marriage, but I need you to stay with me at night. Smooth, Lee, real smooth.’ Dropping the towel on the couch, he proceeded toward the kitchen to start the coffee his body so badly needed.

"You’re being selfish, Stetson," he muttered aloud as he began the task of scooping coffee grounds into the filter. "You’re not some little boy anymore. You’ve got a woman who loves you and would do anything for you, but you have to share her." Blinking, he looked down at the coffeepot he was talking to and snorted in disgust. ‘Get your act together, Stetson. Talk to her, not some damn inanimate object!’

Later that morning, Amanda stood over her desk in the Q-Bureau, arranging the fresh flowers she had brought with her that morning in their vase. She paused momentarily as she heard the soft click of the doorknob turning. Smiling as she glanced out of the corner of her eye and saw his familiar silhouette, she took a step towards the opening door. "Good morning, Scarecrow."

Amanda sucked in her breath as Lee lunged towards her, and took her body into his arms with a surprising grip. Pushing slightly against his chest with her hands, trying to make room so that she could breathe properly, she titled her head back to look at his clean-shaven face. "Miss me?"

Lee brought his right hand from her waist to the back of her head and pulled her closer. "Yes."

Amanda pushed on his chest a little harder to get his attention. "Lee, I can’t breathe."

Hearing the slight agitation in her voice, he loosened his tight hold and looked down at her sparkling eyes. "Sorry, I just can’t get enough of you."

Pulling out of his embrace, Amanda took a step towards the office door. "Think we should keep this closed to unwanted eyes and ears?"

Lee shrugged his shoulders as he headed for his desk. "I guess."

Amanda stopped in her tracks at the sound of indifference in her husband’s voice. Turning worried eyes toward Lee, she asked, the concern evident in her voice, "Lee, is something bothering you? That’s the third time this week you’ve hugged me in something close to a death grip. What’s wrong?" Seeing her husband’s slumped shoulders, a frown crossed her lips. "And while I’m asking questions…why do you look at me every morning like you haven’t seen me in ages? It’s almost like you don’t expect me to be here."

Lee kept his eyes averted from hers. "I…I just miss you so much when you’re not in my arms when I wake up," he replied, concentrating on some files that were stacked on his desk.

Amanda watched him closely. She could tell something was bothering him, but knew he would open up in his own time. Quietly, she walked over to his desk and moved to stand next to him. Placing her right hand gently on his shoulder, she whispered, "Lee, I’m sorry I had to leave…you know I would’ve stayed if I could have." Wrapping her arms around his waist, she laid her head against his rigid back. "If Jamie hadn’t had to go to the doctor’s…"

The warmth of her hand on his back brought him from the morbid thoughts of the cold corpse he had clung to in his nightmare. Turning to pull her against the front of him, he wrapped his arms tightly around her body. Something in the way she touched him always reminded him of what a lucky man he was, and her eyes held such love and compassion. His stomach did its ceremonious flip-flop as he inhaled the fragrance from her hair. Pulling back slightly to look down at her pondering eyes, he again captured her lips with his own.

Once the kiss had ended, Amanda placed her hands on his shoulders and pushed back in order to gain eye contact. A bit breathless, she said, "Well, now. If missing me gets me kisses like that, I’ll have to leave a lot earlier from now on."

Horror flashed across Lee’s face, and Amanda immediately regretted her teasing words. "Lee? I was only kidding." She looked longingly into his eyes. "You know I hate leaving you in the middle of the night, and how much I miss waking up in your arms."

Letting go of Amanda, he raked his left hand through his hair, and turned to face the window. Swallowing the angst that began to fill his throat, he put his emotions back under Scarecrow’s control. "I know that, Amanda. It’s just…"

At that moment, they heard footsteps coming down the hallway, and quickly moved apart. Amanda paused, before heading to her desk, and looked seriously towards her husband. "This discussion isn’t over. I want to know exactly what’s bothering you."

As she headed back to her desk, Billy entered through the partially open door. "Good morning, Amanda, Lee."

"Good morning, Sir," Amanda replied in her usual cheerful voice.

Certain that his worries were well hidden behind his "agent" mask, he turned to meet their boss with a bright smile. "What brings you up to the Q-Bureau this morning, Billy?"

Billy looked from one agent to the other. He knew that he had, once again, interrupted something. He was getting tired of them trying to hide whatever relationship they had. He had already told them he approved, and he knew something serious was going on between two of his best operatives. Hoping that they would come to him when they were good and ready, he decided to get down to business. "Lee, I need you and Amanda to go talk to your ‘family.’ Word on the street is that Isaac Petronoff has resurfaced."

Lee’s eyes widened as realization of Billy’s words struck home. Taking a few steps towards his boss, he waved his hands in exasperation. "What? Isaac Petronoff’s back in the country? How did that happen?"

Billy put a hand up to stop him. "I didn’t say he was. We’ve heard rumors that he is, and I figured some of your family might be able to confirm, or deny the rumors."

Amanda looked up at the creases of worry that now formed on her husband’s face. "Who’s Isaac Petronoff?"

Lee shifted his attention from his superior to his partner. "He’s one of Russia’s top arms dealers. He’s known in certain circles as ‘the Rack.’" When he saw Amanda’s eyebrows raise in question, he explained, "Anyone he’s ever captured, who lived to tell about it, claims they felt like they’d been put on the rack when he questioned them. From what I understand, it’s not a pleasant experience."

Billy nodded. "Official reports say he’s still rotting in a Turkish prison, but we can’t be too careful. I want you two on this immediately."

Lee was about to say that he could talk to his family alone, but Amanda quickly replied, "Not a problem, Sir. Lee and I will get right on this."

"Great. I expect a report by the end of the day," Billy ordered, then turned and left the room.

"Amanda…" Lee started to protest.

Before he could get another word out, Amanda had crossed the room and now stood in front of him. "Don’t even think about suggesting that I stay here. You’ve got bags under your eyes, it’s clear that you haven’t had a good nights sleep in over a week, and on top of that, I know something is bothering you. I will not let you go out there alone, trusted family, or not."

Lee knew he wasn’t going to win this one, so he shrugged his shoulders and nodded. "Okay."

"Good, and tonight, you and I will spend some time, alone, at your place, and you will tell me what’s bothering you." Amanda turned on her heels before he could open his mouth, walked to her desk, grabbed her purse, and was just outside the door, standing in the hallway, before she uttered, "Coming, Scarecrow?"

Lee shook his head; he knew there was a reason he loved that woman.

They spent the day traveling the city, talking to several of Lee’s informants. Amanda had ended up doing most of the questioning, while Lee had maintained a stiff stance at each location, paying more attention to his surroundings than his contacts. Lee had felt that the nightmare had a real chance of coming true in situations like this, and he wasn’t about to let that happen.

Arriving back at the office later that afternoon, with a number of confirmed reports that Petronoff was still in prison, Lee headed up the stairs to the Q-Bureau, while Amanda got into the elevator and headed down to tell Mr. Melrose what they had found.

As the elevator descended the levels to their boss’ office, she thought over the day’s events. Amanda was sure that Lee’s family members could sense that something was wrong, but they knew better than to question their friend. Only Rhonda had made a comment to Amanda, after Lee almost pummeled a poor homeless man to death. Lee’s eyes had targeted the slinking figure the minute he’d come into view. Amanda had been busy asking Rhonda about Isaac Petronoff, and neither one had seen Lee pounce on the defenseless man until it was almost too late. Both Amanda and Rhonda had run to aid the poor vagrant, and it took a good minute or so for Rhonda’s screaming, "Lee get off of Fred, he’s harmless," to penetrate through Lee’s mental state. Lee had apologized profusely to the man, who cowered behind Rhonda as she led him inside the garage. As they were leaving, Rhonda had pulled Amanda aside and asked what was wrong. Amanda had replied, "I don’t know, but I intend to find out. I’m sorry about Fred." Rhonda had wished her luck, and Amanda had simply nodded before joining Lee in his car.

As she exited through the now-open elevator doors, she shook her head at the memory. She had decided to leave that whole incident out of her report to Mr. Melrose.

Once inside the Q-Bureau, Lee headed over and sat down at his desk, waiting for Amanda to return. He knew that she had only volunteered to report to Billy, alone, so that he wouldn’t have to explain the incident with Fred back at Rhonda’s garage. As he sat at his desk, he began to brood over the day’s events. ‘I have to tell her the truth. I have to tell her about the nightmares. I can’t have another day like today. There’s no way that I’m going to convince her to come out of the field, and I don’t want her to.’ He looked over at her desk. ‘Why did I ever think up the idea of this secret marriage in the first place? Yeah, sure, it was partially due to Khai and his family. But maybe that was more of an excuse, than a real reason. Truth be told, I was scared.’ He stood and moved to look out the window.

He realized that he’d been gushing about buying a new house, playing softball in the backyard with the boys, and raising horses right before they had met with Khai that morning. Khai’s situation had forced him to see reality. ‘I wanted Amanda to be my wife, but I don’t think I was ready for the responsibilities that came with being a part of a family.’ Sure he cared about Amanda’s sons, his stepsons, but at that time he hadn’t been ready to become a permanent fixture in their lives. ‘I know now, that being part of a family starts with love, and maybe, if I’d known that a year ago, I wouldn’t be in this mess.’

Moving back to his desk, he sat down again, his eyes returning to his wife’s section of the office. ‘I think I also wanted to prove to myself that I was ready to make a lifelong commitment to one woman.’ He thought back to their wedding day, ‘I should have realized then, when we stood in the office of the Justice of the Peace and said, "I do," that this whole "secret marriage" idea was a mistake. Then, on our honeymoon, seeing Amanda lying in that hospital bed, I knew, without a doubt, that I couldn’t live without her.’

He had come close, that night in the hospital, to telling Dotty the truth, but stopped himself. She’d had her own grief and worry to deal with, and he hadn’t felt the need to add to those thoughts questions about why her daughter would run off and get married without telling her.

Maybe it was time to tell the truth. Maybe coming clean, acting like a husband and wife, and waking up together would be enough to stop the nightmares. He no longer felt insecure about being a family man. He had spent the last year getting to really know Phillip and Jamie. They were his family, and not just because of his marital bonds. He was so caught up in his own thoughts, he never heard Amanda approach the Q-Bureau.

A few minutes earlier, Amanda had returned from the Bullpen. Rather than disturb him, she had decided to silently watch her husband’s actions from the doorway. Over the years, she had learned how to tell when Lee was hiding something from her. This was definitely one of those times; she was convinced that he was holding something back. She had also learned that getting him to open up to her took time. If she rushed him—he'd run. Tonight, one way or another, she was determined to find out what was bothering him.

The soft flicker of the candles matched the softness he now saw in his wife's eyes. Bringing his glass of wine to his lips, he thought, once again, about how to tell her of his fears. Leaning against the mantel of the fireplace, Lee looked over at his wife. "Amanda."

Amanda smiled warmly at him. For the last fifteen minutes, she had been watching him pace back and forth in front of the fireplace, waiting for him to decide to speak. "Yes?"

Looking down at his now empty glass, he raised it towards her. "Want a refill?"

With her understanding smile still firmly in place, she shook her head no. "I'm fine." Patting the empty space beside her, she asked, "Why don't you come over and sit beside me?"

Twirling the goblet between his thumb and index finger, he glanced over at her, then back to his empty glass. "You know that I love you," he asked a bit self-consciously.

Amanda stood and closed the distance between them. Wrapping her arms around his shoulders from behind, she laid her head against his back. "I love you, too. What's wrong?"

Taking a deep breath, Lee placed his goblet on the mantel, then turned and took her hands in his. As he looked at the delicate fingers that brought him so much pleasure, he realized the childishness of hiding his fears from her. She had brought down all of the walls that he had assembled during his life, and he'd be damned if he’d allow them to go back up. Turning to face her, he began to pull her towards the couch. "We need to talk." Sitting down, he waited until they were cuddled in each other’s arms before trying to decide where to begin.

Amanda remained quiet, wrapped in his loving arms, waiting for him to speak first. They sat quietly for several minutes, holding each other, before Lee's deep voice broke the silence. "I'm scared."

Amanda's fingers caressed his chest as she listened to his heart beat increase with his words. "Scared about what?"

Lee's fingers entwined themselves with the soft curls that draped across her shoulders as he thought about his dream. "Of losing you."

Amanda eased her head out from under his chin and looked up at his glistening eyes. "I'm not going anywhere, Sweetheart."

Looking down into the trusting eyes of his wife, his mind flooded with images from his nightmare, visions of her lifeless body, limp in his arms. "We don't know that."

Amanda straightened to sit up as she felt his arms tighten around her. "I'm not going anywhere. I'll never leave you."

Placing his hand on the back of her head, he gently pulled her to him and kissed her forehead. "Not willingly."

Amanda's eyebrows furrowed at his statement. She knew that he’d had fears like these, right after she had been shot in California, but she thought he had gotten past those six months ago. "If this is about our honeymoon, Lee…"

Lee silenced her with a finger to her lips. "Let me say what I have to say, before I lose my nerve, okay?"

Smiling against his finger, Amanda allowed him to pull her body back into his protective cocoon. Lee closed his eyes as he continued to stroke her hair. Feeling her against him, being this close to her, gave him the courage he needed to tell her about his nightmares. "Do you remember when we saw Francine in the park last summer, and we came back here and talked about coming ‘clean?’"

Amanda nodded against his chest, remaining quiet. Lee looked over at the flicker of the candle seemed to grow less and less bright with each passing moment. "I told you that I wasn't ready for us to let the world know that we were married and you said you understood. I told you that our first priority was to protect Phillip and Jamie the best we could, and continuing to keep the marriage a secret was the best way to do that?"

She tried to pull back slightly to look at his face, but he responded by pulling her closer to him and holding her tightly. Lee let the next words come out as a whisper. "I was lying to both of us."

Amanda tried with a little more force to pull back this time, and succeeded. "What?"

Lee brought his left hand to her face, rubbing her check with his thumb. "Even after eight months of being a part of your family, I didn't think I was ready to become a public husband, father, or son-in-law. Not only was I thinking about the safety of our family, but I was also thinking of my own emotional safety. If they didn't know, I couldn't fail."

Tilting her head to the side, Amanda slowly nodded that she was beginning to understand. Lee wrapped his arm around her legs and pulled her body so that she was sitting in his lap. "I was afraid that I would fail as a father, husband, son…" Amanda began to protest, but he stopped her with a half-smile and another finger to her lips. "Let me finish. I let my own fears take over my heart. After I shared this past Christmas at your house, I knew I’d made a mistake. I wanted…" He took a deep breath, then let the words rapidly spill out before he lost his nerve. "No, I knew then that I needed to become a part of your life, as well as a full-time part of our family. I needed for us all to be a family."

Leaning his head back against the couch, he looked up at the ceiling lost in thought, until he felt Amanda's cool fingers touch his cheek. As he lifted his head, his uncertain eyes locked with hers, finding them filled with love. It was all he needed to continue. "On Christmas Eve, you came back here to give me my special present…well, when you left to return home," he paused and smiled briefly, before remembering how the night had really ended. Frowning, he spoke the next words softly, "Well, I had the first nightmare about losing you."

A look of surprise crossed her face, but in response, she took his right hand in hers and gently squeezed, encouraging him to continue. "It only happened one time that week, and I dismissed it as a flashback from California. Then, as the weeks went by, they started coming more and more often, and now they're constant…to the point where I even have visions of holding your lifeless body in my arms when I'm awake."

Looking up to see a single tear at the edge of Lee's eye, she wiped it away with her fingers. "I'm still here, Lee."

Lee's serious expression softened as a lopsided smile found his lips. "I know, you're here now…" The sad expression returned to his face. "But in my nightmares, you’re shot…" Lee stopped as he felt her body stiffened in his arms. His next words were slow and full of pain. "You’re shot, and I feel our special bond vanish, even before I look down at you. I know you're gone. I know instantly that you've died in my arms…and I know that I wasn't able to protect you." He paused, yet, again, demanding himself to continue and keep his tears at bay. "I was alone again. Not only had I lost what made my life worth living, but I’d lost my family too. Jamie and Phillip would never know that you were my wife…that they were my sons—"

Amanda felt tears well up in her eyes as she listened to the fear, anger, and sense of loss in his voice. "Why didn't you tell me sooner?"

"Because I didn't want to be selfish. When you stay with me all night, and I wake up with you in my arms in the morning, I don’t have them. I don’t seem to have them when I leave you after we spend some time together at your house, either. It’s only when you leave me alone, in my apartment, after we’ve been together, that I have them. I knew if I told you that, you’d try to stay with me more, and that wouldn't be fair to you, your mother, or the boys. I'm a grown man, Amanda. I should be able to handle my own fears."

Amanda loved the man before her more than life itself, but with his words of confession, she felt her love for him grow stronger. "Lee, you don't have to handle your emotions all by yourself now. I'm your wife, your partner…I'm part of you now. I’m here to help you, and I want to help you. I love you."

Lee shrugged his shoulders and looked at her with the expression of a child lost in a world of pain and suffering.

Amanda locked eyes with her husband, seeing a pain there that she had never seen in another human. "We need to tell my family and the Agency, Lee. There’s no point in both of us suffering from something that we can fix." Moving closer to him, she placed a tender kiss on his lips.

Tasting the salt on her lips from her tears, Lee pulled back and looked at the amazing woman before him. "We've waited so long. It's going to be hard, Amanda. There are going to be hurt feelings and…"

Amanda brought her lips back to his, and this time, initiated a passionate kiss that mingled love and trust, with his fear and pain. Pulling away because of the need for air, she smiled warmly. "They love you as much as I do, Lee. True, its not going to be easy, but together, we can do anything. I think we have proved that to each other over the years, don't you?"

Lee forcefully pulled her to him as his fears began to subside from his body. "Yes, ‘Manda. We can do anything."

Amanda wiggled out of his embrace and stood. "I’ll be right back. I need to make a phone call."

Lee stood to follow her, not understanding what could be so important that she had to leave him. "Who are you calling?" he asked in a voice mixed with apprehension and curiosity.

Amanda smiled mischievously at the uncertain man that paced behind her. "You'll see." Picking up the receiver and dialing the familiar number, she waited for someone on the other end to pickup. "Hello, Mother…I'm fine…Yes, he's fine, too. Look, could you watch the boys tonight? I want to stay here with Lee…Thanks, I'll tell him…I love you, too…Bye." Amanda hung up the phone and turned to look at her husband's shocked expression.

"Amanda, you didn't have to do that."

"Yes, I did." She took a few steps forward and extended her hand to him. He accepted as she led him towards the bedroom. "These nightmares have been troubling you and we need to get rid of them. Besides, we've got a lot of making up to do as man and wife, and I don't want to wait another night to start."

Lee followed her lead, but paused at the entrance to their bedroom. Looking back at the candle that had flickered dimly earlier in the evening, he saw that it now burned brightly, filling the living room with a warm glow; the same warmth he felt in his own body. As he closed the door to their bedroom, he looked to the bed to see that his wife, now clad only in her underclothes, was lying across the bed waiting for him.

It took only two of his long strides before he was at her side. Leaning down, he whispered seductively, "I love you, Mrs. Stetson."

Amanda’s fingers began to quickly unbutton his shirt as his mouth found her skin. "I love you, too, Mr. Stetson, and tomorrow, we're going to start a new chapter in our lives together."

Chapter 2

Lee stepped out of the shower, feeling relaxed and refreshed for the first time in weeks. Last night had been wonderful, and waking up with Amanda in his arms had made the past twenty-four hours the most perfect that he could remember since their wedding night. At the office, after the morning staff meeting, Billy had commented that Lee must have gotten a good night's rest, because he wasn't as listless as he had been the past few days. Now, looking at the clock, he realized that it was getting late and he only had about fifteen minutes before he needed to be on the road. He had promised Amanda that he would arrive at the house around six-thirty to pick up Phillip and Jamie.

Lee plopped down on the unmade bed to put on his socks and shoes in preparation to leave. He lingered a moment before bending to begin his task, and looked towards the partially open window, then to the pillow that Amanda’s head had rested upon that morning. A wide smile graced his lips as he thought about their future mornings together. He thought about how, every night from now on, he would be able to watch her sleep with her head nestled against his shoulder, her soft skin caressing his body while she slept. Shaking his head at the effects the images were eliciting from his body, he continued preparing to leave.

Grabbing his wallet from the desk in his bedroom, he looked at the picture of his family that sat proudly next to it. His satisfied smile faltered as he thought of the position Amanda would be in, a few hours from now. A silent prayer filled his thoughts, hoping that Amanda would be all right once her mother found out. She was planning on telling Dotty the whole truth tonight. He had offered to be there when she told her mother, but Amanda had gently refused. "I want to do it alone. I’ve lied to her for the past five years, and I really need to do this by myself, but thank you for the thought," she had told him on the way into the office that morning. As she was leaving the Q-Bureau, he had asked her if she was sure. Amanda had confirmed that she was, by saying that she really needed to spend some quality one-on-one time with her mother. They hadn’t done that in quite a while.

His bright smile returned as he looked around his apartment, verifying that he had everything he would need to for an evening out with his boys. Amanda Stetson had proved, once again, how strong willed she was by wanting to face her mother alone. It was one of the items on his long list of things he loved about her. She never stopped showing him new sides of her personality.

Ten minutes later, he was in his ‘Vette heading toward what was soon to become officially his home. As he pulled into the driveway and put the car in park, he sighed contentedly. "Home. That has to be the most wonderful word in the whole world," he mused happily. Getting out of the car, he heard the sounds of his two stepsons coming from the backyard. Quickly shutting the door, he headed to find out what kind of fun they were having.

Reaching them, he found them shooting hoops. "Hey, fellas."

"Hey, Lee," Phillip shouted as he shoved past his brother and dunked the ball into the hoop.

"Nice shot," Lee offered, smiling at how good at this game his oldest stepson had become.

"You should’ve seen the one Jamie made earlier. I think our games are helping him out," Phillip replied, never looking at Lee, but instead holding the ball and eyeing the basket, trying to figure out the best way to make the next shot.

Lee approached Jamie and patted his shoulder. "I’m sorry I missed it, Chief."

Jamie shrugged, "It was no biggie. Phillip really overrates this game."

Lee could hear the subtle change in Jamie’s voice. Although he and Jamie had gotten closer in the past year, there was still a part of the young man that refused to allow Lee completely inside. Amanda had assured him that it wasn’t anything serious, but Lee felt like he needed to do something to bridge the gap, to bring them closer.

Just then, Amanda appeared in the doorway. "I was beginning to wonder why I stopped hearing the ball bouncing." She walked over and placed a kiss on her husband’s cheek. "I missed you," she whispered.

Jamie rolled his eyes as he walked away, mumbling, "It’s not like you didn’t just see him an hour ago at the office."

Amanda’s keen ears heard the tone of his voice, and wondered what was bothering her youngest son. She watched him walk into the house, and saw Phillip run after him. "Jamie, can you grab my coat while you’re in there."

Lee saw the concern written on her face. "I’m sure it’s something at school. Maybe, tonight, with just the guys, he’ll let something slip." Smiling, he moved closer to Amanda and whispered in her ear, "Not to mention, I just happen to know some good ‘Class C’ interrogation techniques."

"I’m more than aware of your talents," she replied teasingly. Then turning her attention to her husband, she sighed, "Maybe you’re right. Maybe Jamie will say something tonight that will give you an idea of what’s been bothering him. He’s just been extremely down lately. I think he’s jealous of Phillip’s popularity. Not only because he’s on the eighth grade basketball team, but because Phillip is paying more and more attention to girls, than his younger brother. He keeps talking about this girl Angie." She looked once more toward the back door, hoping that maybe Lee could get Jamie to open up to him. "But I’m not entirely sure Jamie’s mood is the result of his older brother’s lack of attention…"

With the boys out of sight, Lee took this opportunity to try and brighten his wife’s mood. Wrapping his arms around her, he pulled her close to him, and kissed her passionately.

Breaking apart, Amanda looked at him. "Keep that up and I may change the plans for tonight."

Lee laughed and shook his head. "You’re the one who wanted to talk to your mother, alone."

Amanda nodded. "I know, and I’m not trying to back out on that…but do you think you could, you know, keep from stirring my blood so much." She grinned playfully at him.

Lee shook his head. "Only if you can find a way to stop being so damn alluring." He bent down and kissed her on the lips again. "And I doubt you’ll be able to find a way to do that…even when we’re eighty."

Amanda smiled. Somehow she knew he was right. Whenever they were together, in the same place, they always found a way to be near each other, to touch each other in some way. Dotty had, on several occasions, accused them of acting like newlyweds. Amanda knew it was her mother’s not-so-subtle way of saying, "it’s time to get married." She would always do her best to keep the amusement from showing on her face. If her mother only knew the truth. Then again, wasn’t that what tonight was all about? Leaning against her husband’s broad chest, she took in the familiar scent of his cologne. She realized that once they were publicly married, the constant need to be near each other would increase. Once everyone knew, it wouldn’t matter who saw them holding hands, or walking with their arms around one another.

One of the reasons they always gravitated to each other’s side wasn’t because of any need to feel secure, but because they felt like more of a team when they were in closer proximity to each other. The other reason, was more a perception of her own. Ever since she had been shot in California, they had been more open and honest about their insecurities. She had told Lee that although she didn’t feel threatened by his previous lovers, once in awhile she would wonder if, one day, he would be sorry he had settled for a woman with a ready-made family. Once she had told him this, he seemed to increase his efforts, when in the company of others, to maintain as much physical contact with her as possible. She could only assume that it was his way of helping to calm her fears.

As if he could sense her thinking those thoughts, Lee would take her hand in his, kiss her tenderly, or simply look at her with eyes that spoke of nothing but the love he felt for her, causing those fears to quickly disappear. On more than one occasion, Lee had told her that while it may have taken him a long time to realize what he had right in front of him, now that they were together, nothing would ever separate them. She knew it was true. They had a special type of connection that made them realize they were meant to be together. She knew it had been destiny that had brought them together at the train station that October morning.

Lee had watched her facial features change. The look of worry had disappeared, and had been replaced by a peaceful calm. He let her stay lost in thought until he saw her eyes begin to moisten. "Hey," he whispered, placing a kiss on her nose. "Penny for your thoughts."

"It’s nothing, just thinking about us and how lucky I am," Amanda smiled.

Before Lee could reply that he, too, was lucky, Phillip bounded back towards them with Jamie sauntering behind. Gently letting Amanda go, he faced his stepsons. "You boys ready for a night of ‘guy’ fun?"

Phillip nodded enthusiastically, while Jamie just shrugged his shoulders. Lee planned on getting to the bottom of his youngest stepson’s problems tonight. If there was one thing he had learned from his partner, it was the art of being a caring and understanding parent. "Well, then, let’s head out." Lee turned back to his wife, "Since it’s a Friday, and there’s no school tomorrow, we’ll be back by ten, okay?" Amanda nodded, and leaning down, Lee kissed her quickly on the lips. "I love you."

"I love you, too," she replied. Phillip rolled his eyes and headed out of the back yard and toward the car. She saw Jamie’s face show a multitude of mixed emotions at the exchange of words, and hoped that Lee would be able to find out what was bothering him. She watched as Lee followed Jamie and Phillip. Once all her "men" were out of sight, she turned on her heels and headed into the house to start the evening with her mother.

After eating the tuna casserole Dotty had made for dinner, Amanda washed the dishes, while her mother dried them.

Dotty watched her daughter carefully. She hadn’t eaten much and seemed a million miles away. "Amanda, Dear. Is everything all right? I mean, you said you wanted to spend time together, but you barely said two words at dinner."

Amanda dried her hands and leaned against the counter. "I could tell you that I’m worried about Jamie, which isn’t entirely off the mark, but the truth is…well…I need to tell you something." Amanda kept her eyes on the den, never looking at her mother, and slipped her hands into the pockets of her jeans. Feeling the cold of the metal as it touched her fingers, she wrapped her hand tightly around the rings she’d placed there for support.

Dotty raised her eyebrows. Her first instinct was that Lee had proposed. "Amanda, Dear, is this about Lee becoming part of the family? Is that why he took the boys out, to make sure it was okay with them, I mean, Valentine’s Day is coming up," she stopped when she saw Amanda slightly shake her head. Dotty began to wonder if Amanda and Lee were having problems. She immediately dismissed that thought; if there was trouble between them, she knew that Lee wouldn’t have taken the boys for a guys’ night out. "Amanda, are you gonna tell me what’s on your mind, or am I gonna have to drag it out of you?"

Amanda sighed and shook her head. "No, Mother, no dragging is needed." Removing her right hand from her pocket, she held it out to her mother. Dotty accepted it, and followed Amanda into the den. Releasing Dotty’s hand, she sat down on the couch and patted the seat next to her.

Dotty joined her, and then turned to face her daughter. Reaching out, she patted Amanda’s knee. She decided to forgo asking or saying anything more. Amanda had something on her mind. She knew her daughter well enough to realize that she would say what she had to say in her own time.

Amanda looked down and studied her mother’s hand. The hardest part was deciding where to start. Thinking back to all the times she’d had to run out, and all the elaborate stories she’d had to create to explain her sudden disappearances, one particular instance kept returning to her mind. ‘It’s better than nothing,’ she sighed. Turning her body to face Dotty, she began, "Mother, do you remember that day you were watching the Arlene Francis show, and that author was going to expose spies living in the suburbs?" Amanda watched her mother’s face grow a little distant as if trying to remember that particular program. When her mother nodded at her recollection of the show, Amanda continued, "Do you remember how he mentioned a mother of two, who almost blew a certain operation?" Dotty nodded again, slower this time, "And do you remember how you thought that it was Gwen Dorsey? Well…"

Dotty’s eyes grew wide with curiosity as the wheels in her mind started to turn. She sat quietly, waiting to hear her daughter’s next words, trying to anticipate where this conversation was headed.

Amanda looked at her mother. "You see…the author wasn’t talking about Gwen. He was referring to me. I’m the one who the author was going mention in that book. I’m the suburban housewife who almost blew ‘Operation Sandstorm.’"

Dotty removed her hand and placed it in her own lap. At first, as the words began to sink in, she was thought about telling Amanda that she didn’t believe her, that this was nonsense. Her daughter—a spy? But then, the memories of her daughter disappearing for hours, even days, on end, canceling personal plans in order to run off on some last minute "photo shoot," and all the unexplained behaviors of the last few years started to make a little more sense. She looked Amanda in the eye, and realized that what her daughter was saying was, indeed, the truth. "Are you trying to tell me that when that Mr. Melrose person invaded our home a year and a half ago, that it wasn’t just some silly brouhaha over a couple of film people?"

Amanda nodded. "Lee and I aren’t film makers, Mother. We’re intelligence operatives…spies. When we ran off, it was because we were falsely accused of selling secrets to the Russians."

Suddenly, Dotty didn’t know what to make of this admission. She thought back, recalling how strange it had appeared that her daughter, seemingly without a care in the world for her family, would run off with a total stranger. Dotty then remembered the first time she had met Lee. The memory of calling Lee the termite man, only to have him introduce himself as Lee Stetson, Amanda’s co-worker, came flooding back. ‘I realize now, that he’d known about me for years, and here I was feeling all flustered because all I could think to say was that I had been picking up the den.’ Shaking her head, trying not to let that memory overcome her sudden feelings of bewilderment, she looked her daughter in the eye. "That day that Lee came over and introduced himself, you weren’t out of town, were you? I mean, he seemed a bit lost and distracted when he stopped by."

Amanda shook her head this time. "No, I wasn’t out of town. Truth is, a Middle Eastern terrorist was holding me as his prisoner." She shuddered at the memory of Addi Birol.

Dotty watched her daughter and began to worry. What kind of life had her daughter led over the last few years? What kind of dangers had she faced? She placed her hand on Amanda’s shoulder for support. "Amanda, are you all right?"

"Yes, Mother. Just a bad memory is all." She reached up and gave her mother’s hand a reassuring squeeze.

"Amanda," her voice held a small hint of agitation, "I don’t know if I’m ready to hear about all the dangers you’ve faced. Besides, I have a sneaky suspicion, from what I’ve read in novels about the spy business, that you probably couldn’t tell me everything even if you wanted to, but…" taking a deep breath, she continued, "I do have one question: how long have you and Lee really known each other?" Dotty asked, her voice now holding a hint of that motherly tone one gets when scolding a child.

Amanda stood and walked over to the French doors. She put her hand in her pocket again. "Four and half years. Mother," Amanda turned to meet her mother’s eyes. In a voice just barely above a whisper, she asked, "Do you remember when I went to take Dean to the train station, and I came home with that strange package, the one I addressed to Aunt Minnie in Maine?"

Dotty nodded, remembering how, after she had told her daughter that she had mailed the package Amanda had run off in the middle of the night, explaining that it was some dry cleaning emergency. That one wasn’t too hard to believe, after all, her clothes had been soaked from falling in the water. Of course, Dotty did remember thinking it odd that Amanda had to run out that very same night, especially when she didn’t know of any twenty-four hour dry cleaners in the area.

"Well, that was the day I first met Lee. He had given me the package that morning, asked me to get on the train, and give it to a man in a red hat. Well, I got on the train, but there were a whole bunch of men with red hats, so I held on to the package. Lee tracked me down in order to get the package back, and well, I kind of got mixed up in it all. I started out working with Lee part-time, and then, we eventually became partners." Amanda stopped and turned back to the doors, looking outside through the glass panes. She wrapped her hand around her wedding band and engagement ring, and pulled them out of her pocket. Putting them on, she slowly turned around to look at her mother.

Dotty had watched her daughter’s hand movements and began to wonder what, exactly, Amanda was doing.

"When you asked me if this was about Lee becoming a part of the family, truth is…it does have to do with that. But, well…not in the sense that you think, you see…" Amanda raised her left hand up and nervously started playing with her heart pendant.

Dotty’s eyes fell on daughter’s ring finger as Amanda’s hand hovered back and forth over her chest. Seeing the gold and diamond rings, the events of a year ago flashed into her mind. Hurt and anger began to course through her body, and she rose to her feet. Standing eye-to-eye with her daughter, she asked, "Amanda…When you were shot in California, were you working? Or were you and Lee really on vacation together?" The question came out in almost a hiss as Dotty tried her best to keep from loosing her temper. She wanted to get some answers, and yelling wouldn’t get them out of her daughter any faster. If they were arguing, rather than calmly discussing things, nothing would get accomplished.

Amanda moved closer and put a hand on her mother’s arm. Shaking her head, her voice cracked as she replied, "No, Lee and I weren’t working, and yes we were on vacation together." Taking a deep breath, she let the next words spill out before she lost her nerve, "Mother, we got married last year, on February 13th. When Lee and I were in California, we were on our honeymoon."

Suddenly the hurt disappeared, and only anger remained. Letting go of the control she had on her emotions, she shrugged Amanda’s hand off of her arm, and began to shout, "I’m your mother! Don’t you trust me? Couldn’t you at least have told me that you were getting married again? I realize that you’ve been lying to me and making up stories for the last…what did you say…five years…but this, Amanda," she picked up her daughter’s left hand, "this I think I was entitled to know about."

"Mother, I’m sorry. I didn’t want to lie to you. I didn’t like lying to you," Amanda interjected. She had steeled herself for her mother’s anger regarding the marriage, and therefore Dotty’s response didn’t feel as much of a slap in the face as it could have. "It’s always been hard lying to you, but I didn’t have a choice. When I started this job, they told me I couldn’t tell you, for reasons of national security, and then, as the years went by, the lies just became a part of the job."

"I understand the national security stuff, Amanda…I don’t like it, but I understand." Dotty’s tone was now more subdued, but still held a hint of anger. "But that doesn’t excuse, or explain, why you felt the need to keep this huge step in your life a secret. Not to mention the fact that I’ve pressed you about marrying Lee for months now, and not once did you tell me that you’d already gotten married." Pausing, a new question formed itself in her mind. Her voice no longer loud, but her tone cold, she asked, "Amanda, why are you telling me now, anyway? Are you pregnant? Are you telling me because you have to?"

Amanda shook her head. "No, Mother. I’m not pregnant. It’s just…" She moved and sat back down on the couch. "Lee and I are tired of living the lie. We want to be a family. We don’t want to lie to anyone about our true feelings for each other, anymore."

Dotty moved and sat on the coffee table in front of her daughter. "I take it you plan on telling the boys then?"

Amanda nodded. "We plan on telling them that we’re married, but not the truth about our real jobs. We’ve already told you and the boys that I.F.F. makes highly classified government films, and that we can’t always talk about them. That’s enough for now. Later, when they’re older, we’ll tell them more about what we really do. For the time being, Lee and I feel that becoming a real family is more important."

"I guess that’s your decision to make. I’m only your mother, after all," she replied sarcastically. Not quite ready to accept wanting to be a family as the only reason for this sudden truth session, Dotty asked, "So you’re telling me that you’ve decided that you want to live together, is that the only reason that you’re suddenly coming clean?"

"Yes, and no." Amanda shrugged. "You’d only known Lee for a few months before we got married, and the boys really didn’t know him at all. Not only that, Lee hasn’t been a part of a family since he was five. His parents were killed in a car accident, and he was raised by his uncle."

Amanda watched as Dotty’s face softened a little at the news of Lee’s parents. Taking a deep breath, she continued, "Then, with the work we do, we thought it would be safer for you and the boys if we kept it a secret. You see…" she paused and raised her hand up to her necklace again. Playing with the pendant she hoped her mother wouldn’t go into a long stream of ‘why would you be working at a job that puts your family in danger’ type questions. "Lee’s made a lot of enemies over the years and they would just love to use the boys as a way to get to him. We realized, awhile ago, that our jobs can be dangerous for the family." She turned her head and focused on the pictures in the bookcase, hoping that in the long run, this decision was the right one. "We’ve recently come to the conclusion that it doesn’t matter whether it’s a secret or out in the open; it’s more important to be a family than pretend we’re not, just to protect everyone." Hearing herself say the words, she confirmed her own doubts that they were indeed doing the right thing.

As Dotty listened to her daughter’s reasons, things started to make a little more sense. She didn’t necessarily agree with them, and it would take some time to forgive her daughter for the secrecy, but she realized how much Lee and Amanda loved each other. The fact that they had given up the true joys of marriage to keep the family safe did hold some merit.

Amanda watched her mother’s face soften even more. "I’ll admit, however, that we were also acting a little selfishly, too, in keeping the marriage a secret We’d spent the first few years getting to know one another, becoming friends, and we wanted some time by ourselves." Absently twirling the rings around her finger, she thought about Lee and the boys, and hoped that they were having a good time. "We both felt that it was important to give the boys time to get to know Lee, and for Lee to really get to know them. Lee wanted so badly to be accepted by them, that it wouldn’t have done any good to ram-rod him down the boys’ throats." She turned to look at Dotty, hoping that her mother would understand their reasons. "It also gave Lee time to become a permanent fixture in their lives, and it gave him time to become comfortable with being a father figure."

The word "father" woke Dotty up. She began to wonder about Joe. Turning she looked her daughter in the eye. "Amanda, does Joe know about your real job…and about the marriage?"

Amanda nodded, but before she could say anything, Dotty was out of her seat, again. Giving her daughter a cold, hard stare, Dotty demanded, "How long has he known?"

Amanda patted the cushion next to her. "Mother, sit down. It’s not as bad as you think."

Dotty reluctantly returned to the couch, but looked straight ahead. It was bad enough learning about this huge secret after so long, but the fact that Joe knew before she did, hurt more than being kept in the dark.

"Joe found out about the Agency, that’s the real name for I.F.F.," Amanda explained as she saw the questioning look in her mother’s features. "I.F.F is just a cover for the Agency. Joe met Lee, for the first time, when he came back from Estoccia. Lee helped clear his name, and saved the boys from some corrupt people who worked at the E.A.O." She turned her body to fully face her mother, who was now staring at her daughter intently. "Joe only thought that the Agency had come to me, to ask me for my assistance in tracking him down. It wasn’t until Lee and I ran off together, that Joe found out I was really a part of the Agency."

Turning her head slightly, Dotty asked bitterly, "How long has he known about the marriage?"

"He found out just before last Thanksgiving. I met him on a Saturday for lunch, and had forgotten to take off my rings."

Dotty cut in, "Is that why he and Carrie didn’t come over for Thanksgiving Dinner?"

Amanda shook her head. "No. They really did have plans to go to Carrie’s parents. Mother, we aren’t really Joe’s family anymore." Putting her hand up to stop the protest her mother was about to utter, she continued, "Yes, Joe is Phillip and Jamie’s father. He always will be, that will never change. But Joe is married again, and he has a new family with Carrie. When I asked him if he wanted to stop by sometime on Thanksgiving Day, he said, given the fact that Lee and I were now married, it was important for Lee to be the only father figure at such a special family dinner."

Dotty rose from the couch, once again, and walked towards the French doors. Stopping at the edge of the coffee table, she asked with an odd edge to her voice, "So where did Lee take the boys? Is he telling them, while you’re here telling me?"

Amanda stood and walked to stand next to her mother. "No. He was giving me some time alone with you, so I could mend some fences. We plan on telling the boys together, but I asked Lee to let me talk to you alone." She placed her hand tentatively on her mother’s arm. "I’m sorry, Mother. I’m sorry for all the lies and the secrecy." Moving to face her mother, tears forming in her eyes, she said earnestly, "I owe you a big thank you."

Dotty raised her eyebrows questioningly. "A thank you?"

Amanda nodded. "Yes. A huge thank you. Thank you for being here for me these last few years. Thank you for being a second mother to the boys. I couldn’t have made it to where I am today without your support."

Dotty’s anger slowly started to subside. She wasn’t, however, ready to forgive her daughter. "I love you, Amanda, and I’m truly happy for you. Even if I feel like I don’t know my little girl anymore, I still love you, and I have grown to love Lee like a son." Putting a hand up, she continued, "However, as glad as I am to know that he’s already a member of this family, it’s going to take me a long time to get over the pain caused by you keeping all of this information from me. Don’t ask me how long, because I truly don’t know. It’s going to take me quite awhile to get over the hurt of being kept in the dark and lied to for so long." Wiping a tear from her daughter’s cheek, her tone became serious. "But…from now on, I expect you…and Lee, to be honest with me. No more secrets. Understood?"

Amanda nodded. "I’m sorry, and I promise that Lee and I will do our best to keep you out of the dark, about anything we can, from now on."

"I guess I can accept that." Dotty leaned in and pulled her daughter into a hug. "Now, what do you say we have some of that chocolate mint ice cream I saw hiding in the freezer, and pop in a good movie?"

Stepping out of the comforting embrace, a wave of relief flowed through Amanda; she was glad that her mother hadn’t decided to go off on her own, and still wanted to spend the evening with her. Amanda realized that she had a lot of making up to do, but for tonight, she intended to enjoy spending some quality time with her mother, especially now that these secrets had been revealed. After her mother’s wounds had healed, Amanda knew that the closeness they had shared, before all the lying and secrecy had begun, would return stronger than ever.

Smiling, Amanda replied cheerfully, "I think that’s a wonderful idea. Why don’t you pick out the movie, and I’ll go scoop the ice cream." Dotty nodded, and as she moved towards the video cabinet, Amanda headed into the kitchen to fix dessert.

Chapter 3

The smell of burnt cheese encircled Lee’s head. Sitting back in his chair, he watched his oldest stepson shamelessly flirt with a young girl. They seemed deep in conversation over which song to play on the rundown jukebox. Looking at the two remaining pieces of the "specialty" pizza the boys had ordered, he was thankful for the roll of Tums that awaited him in the glove box of the car. He had informed his wife, only a few months before, that his stomach could take on anything that the two boys could dish his way. Unfortunately, after a few nights of pizza, junk food, and soda, he quickly found out that he wasn’t the young buck he had once been. Therefore, he had purchased the economy size package of Tums, and placed several rolls in his glove box, and a few in the glove box of Amanda’s Grand Wagoneer, just for occasions like tonight.

Jamie watched the man, who had become a permanent fixture in his mother’s, life pick up one of the two remaining slices.

Lee shifted his eyes from the pizza to Jamie. "So what movie do you guys want to go see?"

Jamie’s mouth was filled to capacity with the gooey food, so he shrugged his shoulders in answer.

Lee leaned forward, placing his elbows on the red checkered tablecloth to lock eyes with his stepson. "You don’t really want to go see a movie, do you, Jamie?"

After swallowing his last bite, Jamie met Lee’s pondering expression with his own intense stare. "Doesn’t really matter, does it?" he mumbled, pretty sure that his opinion really didn’t count with to his mother’s boyfriend. Even if Lee seemed to genuinely want to spend time with them, Jamie couldn’t help but feel that if he got too close, Lee might up and disappear one night, never giving him or his brother a second thought.

Laying the pizza back on the platter, then leaning back against the plastic seat of the booth, Lee entwined his fingers behind his head. "Yes, Jamie. It does matter," he replied with sincere conviction. "Tell me what you would like to do."

Jamie studied Lee for a moment, analyzing his options, before he spoke. Despite an inner voice telling him that Lee didn’t really mean what he said, Jamie could see the sincerity in Lee’s eyes. "Well…I really need to go to the library and do some research on my science project for next week. You and Phillip could drop me off, and then pick me up when your movie’s over."

Glancing over at Phillip, who now had his arm around the shoulders of the smiling brunette, Lee looked back to Jamie. "I guess we could, but I’d like to do something with both of you."

Jamie’s attention now focused back on the last dwindling piece of pizza. "I know you want to be a part of both of our lives, Lee. Grandma said so. She also said that you want us to feel comfortable around you."

Lee straightened in his seat at the comment, once again, placing his arms on the table before him. "I really do, Jamie," he said with sincerity and conviction. He meant every word, and wanted, so badly, to make Jamie realize that.

Jamie gave Lee a weary glance, then mischievously smiled before popping the last of the crust into his mouth, followed by a big swig of Coke. After a few moments of intense silence, Jamie leaned against the table, a mirror image of Lee’s position. "I know that, Lee. I know that you love my mom, and that you’re really trying with Phillip and me," he paused and looked at the drink in his hand, contemplating whether to finish his thought, or take another sip. Looking back at Lee, he realized that Lee wasn’t going to just let this conversation drop. Shrugging his shoulders, he said, truthfully, "but you don’t have to worry about me so much. I’m able to take care of myself, you know."

Lee blinked, not once, but twice before locking eyes with his stepson. If Lee had been looking only at the eyes and not the entire body of the boy, he would have sworn that his wife was sitting before him. The same determination and strength of will was set into the boy’s features. "What if I want to worry about you? Did you ever think that you’re a very important part of my life now," Lee challenged his stepson to try and look at things in a different light.

Lee was becoming increasingly uncomfortable with the turn this conversation had taken. It had taken him a long time to break down his emotional walls and be able to share those emotions with Amanda. Sharing his feelings with this young boy was an entirely different arena, and it wasn’t something with which Lee was entirely comfortable. However, he had to get through to Jamie somehow. Closing his eyes briefly, he ran a hand through his hair and whispered, "Did you know that I’ve grown to love you…all of you?"

Jamie placed his cola down in front of him and leaned over it with the straw in his mouth, taking small sips as he mulled over Lee’s declaration.

Feeling uneasy about the silence emanating from his youngest stepson, Lee shifted in his seat and leaned against the wall that adjoined the booth, hoping that he hadn’t said the wrong thing. Moving his gaze from Jamie, he distracted himself by keeping tabs on what Phillip was up to.

Jamie watched Lee curiously. The man sitting across from him put up a good front, coming across as a very confident and strong man, but Jamie had noticed that Lee always seemed to back off a little when feelings came to play in their conversations. "So you really love Phillip and me?"

Unable to find his voice, Lee nodded as he watched Phillip follow the slim girl back to her table and friends. Jamie looked over his shoulder at his older brother, then back to Lee. "Phillip said that you did. He said he overheard you telling Mom, one night, how much you worried and cared about us. I guess I’ve always known that you did, but …" He let the last few words trail off, not entirely sure he was ready to confess his fears to his mother’s boyfriend. He worried that Lee might run away, just when they were beginning to depend on him as a constant in their lives.

Lee looked back to Jamie with a self-conscious smile upon his lips. "Believe me, Jamie. I think I understand where you’re coming from. I don’t expect you to take me in without some reservations. I’ve got to earn your trust, just like you’ve got to earn mine."

Jamie gave Lee a half smile, before picking up the last slice of pizza. "You really want to earn our trust?" He watched as Lee nodded. "Somehow, that makes me feel a little better. I guess it’s nice to know that you…well that you might really consider our feelings." Jamie saw the truth and love that shone in Lee’s eyes. It wasn’t as strong as the love he saw when he looked in his mom’s eyes, but it proved that the man across from him really did care about them.

Looking down at the pizza in his hand, he whispered, "I know I haven’t always shown it, but I have grown to like you. And not just for Mom’s sake, but…well, it’s just hard for me to think about having another man around, someone who might decide to up and leave when he realizes that his career is more important than his family." Jamie quickly bit into the pizza and lowered his eyes to the table. He felt as if a small weight had been lifted from him, and he was kind of glad that he had ignored his inner voice and shared his fears with Lee.

Lee was about to delve a little deeper into Jamie’s point-of-view, while the subject was open, but was interrupted as Phillip jumped into the booth Lee was sitting in.

"Hey, Lee. I’ve got a BIG favor to ask you," Phillip exclaimed excitedly.

Lee narrowed his eyes as he readjusted himself in the seat from the sudden jolt. "You do, do you?"

Phillip’s smile couldn’t have been wider as he looked over to the young girl he had been flirting with, jabbing Lee in the side with his elbow. "Yeah, Lori over there has asked me to join her and her friends to go see the movie ‘Big’ tonight. Can I go with them?"

Lee’s eyes again narrowed as he studied the group. "I don’t think that your mother would approve, Phillip, and besides, are you really going to just dump Jamie and me?"

Jamie rolled his eyes in disgust at Phillip’s adolescent hormonal imbalance. "Yeah, Phillip. What about Angie?"

Lee picked up on the sudden nervousness that Phillip exhibited. "Jamie’s right, Phillip. What about your other girl?"

Phillip averted his eyes to the pizza pan, and began to snatch the fallen toppings and put them in his mouth. "I’m just going to see a movie, guys. It’s not a date or anything. What harm could it do?"

A shiver ran through Lee’s body at Phillip’s words. They were words that he could remember hearing himself say only a few years ago. "Trust me, Phillip. Don’t play games with a girl’s feelings; it only causes trouble…BIG trouble."

Jamie snickered at the exchange between the two males in front of him. "Oh, let him go, Lee. It’s like Mom says about Dad, ‘he’ll learn from his mistakes.’"

Phillip narrowed his eyes and gave his brother a trademark "get off my back" look.

Jamie ignored him, and continued to laugh as he looked over at the adults that now stood at the young girl’s table. "Mr. and Mrs. Keen are with them, Lee," Jamie commented. "Mom knows them, and I don’t think she would mind. You could even call and ask her."

Lee looked curiously at Jamie. Had the boy really said the couple’s last name was Keen? His thoughts were cut off by the sound of his oldest stepson’s voice.

Giving Lee his most innocent look, Phillip pleaded whole-heartedly, "Please, Lee."

Lee’s forehead wrinkled in concentration. ‘So much for a night out with both boys.’ His thoughts quickly turned to Amanda, and the conversation she was having with her mother. He didn’t want to interrupt them for all the gold in the world. "What if I talk to the Keens, and maybe we could take you to the theater and then pick you up there? I think Jamie wants to do some research anyway."

Jamie’s eyes lit up like Christmas lights at the thought of going to the library. "That’d be great, Lee. I really do need to get to the library," he admitted enthusiastically.

Phillip and Lee both looked at Jamie with puzzlement, bewildered by the younger boy’s excitement at spending an evening at the library. Nudging Phillip out of the seat, Lee stood. "I’m going over to talk to them now, then we can leave here and head for the theater. Cool with you two?"

Both boys jumped to their feet in anticipation of the night’s events and answered in unison. "Cool!"

Lee smiled as he rose from his seat. Walking over to the Keens, he couldn’t help but wonder how Amanda coped with raising two teenage boys alone. Everyday he spent with them reminded him of himself as a boy. It was tough growing up on military bases, and while his uncle might argue that he had been an extremely rambunctious teenager, he had still, none-the-less, been a teenager. Yes, it would be good for everyone concerned to have a permanent male fixture in the King household. A smile played across his lips. ‘I wonder what the Colonel would say if he knew I was becoming a role model for a pair of teenage boys?’

Not wanting to really think about what the Colonel might say, he turned his thoughts to whom couple he was about to introduce himself. How many times had Amanda used the last name "Keen" as a cover? Who would have thought that one day he would come face to face with another suburban housewife with the real last name of Keen? Shaking his head at the irony of the situation, he approached the Keen’s table and prepared to put the rest of the evening’s plans into motion.

Lee watched as Phillip entered the movie theater with Mr. & Mrs. Keen and their troop of girls. Phillip was definitely growing up fast, and for some reason, his oldest stepson reminded Lee of himself at that age. He had always been the type to pursue girls. Maybe, even back then, he had hoped to find comfort in the arms of a female. Granted, Phillip wasn’t chasing after girls, and he didn’t enjoy them swooning over him because he needed the attention. Phillip’s attraction was a result of typical youthful growing pains.

Seeing that Phillip was safely inside, he looked at the clock and then turned to his youngest stepson. "I guess we’d better head over to the library, especially if we have to be back here in three hours to pick up Phillip." The Keen’s had told Lee that they wanted to take the kids for ice cream after the movie and had promised to be meet back at the theater by ten-thirty. Lee had hesitated, concerned that Amanda might worry when they didn’t arrive home at ten, but seeing the look of excitement that flashed across his oldest stepson’s face, he couldn’t say no. He just hoped that Amanda wouldn’t grow too concerned and call out the troops.

Jamie just nodded. His mind was already at the library. He really hoped that Caitlin would be there. It was the only place where they had a chance to spend some time together, without the watchful eyes of her father. Caitlin, after much protesting, had finally convinced her father that nothing dangerous could possibly happen in a library. Jamie knew that Mr. Walsh feared losing his daughter, much the way he had lost Caitlin’s mother. From the way Caitlin would talk about her father’s over-protectiveness, Jamie was surprised that he hadn’t found a way to keep her locked at home at all times.

Lee noticed the absent stare on Jamie’s face and could only wonder what the boy was thinking about. ‘He’s probably thinking about whatever project he’s working on.’ Checking his car’s mirrors for oncoming traffic, Lee eased the jeep into drive. Turning out of the theater lot, and headed towards the library.

Ten minutes later, Lee and Jamie entered the library. "Jamie," Lee whispered, "what type of books are you looking for? I mean, I can give you a hand finding something to help you with your project."

Jamie’s eyes were scanning the tables, looking for Caitlin. "Um, well…I need to do a report on Russia for Social Studies." His eye’s lit up when he saw his friend sitting near the encyclopedias. "I guess you could help me find me some books while I look up some stuff in the research area."

"That sounds like a plan, Sport." Nodding in the direction of the research books, he whispered. "Why don’t you find a table, and I’ll meet you over there, after I gather some material for you."

Jamie nodded as he made a bee-line towards Caitlin. Lee couldn’t help but smile in wonder over the boy’s anxious attitude about delving into the world of words and knowledge. He shook his head and continued to smile as he realized how much Jamie reminded him of a younger version of his informant and friend, T.P. Aquainis. ‘All research and very little fun.’ Shrugging his shoulders, Lee headed over to the card catalogue to see what books he could find on Russia.

Lee approached the wood cabinet and looked for the drawer with the letters "Ru." Suddenly, he started to laugh. ‘Here I am, someone who probably knows more about Russia than most authors, and how am I helping out my stepson? By pulling books on the subject. He could learn a lot more if I told him what I know, than anything these books might say.’

A frown quickly replaced his smile. ‘Only problem is, he doesn’t know that I’m a walking encyclopedia on a lot foreign countries. I could always tell him that I spent a year or two there for I.F.F., but somehow, I doubt he’d buy that story, especially since we’re still at "war" with Russia.’ As he thumbed through the cards in the drawer, he again thought about how much his youngest stepson resembled Amanda. It was always hard to pull the wool over her eyes. Grabbing a pen and a piece of paper from the top of the catalogue cabinet, he started writing down numbers and titles. Chuckling at the irony of this whole situation, he thought to himself, ‘If I can’t help Jamie by giving him the information, at least I’ll be able to find the most accurate books for him to use.’

After getting a general idea of where to find the books on Russia, Lee closed the drawer and headed over to the shelves.

Fifteen minutes later, Lee headed towards the research section, proudly carrying ten books on Russia. Peering over the top book, he began scanning the tables for Jamie. It wasn’t too crowded, and he quickly spotted his youngest stepson. A smile crossed his face as he saw Jamie sitting close to a bespectacled young brunette. If the books hadn’t begun to grow heavy, he would have walked a little slower, but his arms were starting to feel the strain of the extra weight.

No sooner had he reached them and placed the books down, than he saw both of their faces turn ashen white. Thinking it was his presence that had startled them, he started to open his mouth, until he realized their eyes were focused on something to his left. Going into agent mode, Lee reached for his gun. In mid-motion, he remembered that he had locked the gun in the glove compartment of Amanda’s jeep.

Cautiously, he turned around to see what had caused such panic on the faces of these two young people. The brooding man with whom Lee came face-to-face, put him on edge; however, the young brunette’s words quickly helped to put him at ease.

"Daddy, I’m sorry. I just bumped into Jamie, and he was only helping me with some history lesson." The brunette quickly rose from her seat and headed towards the man.

"What have I told you about hanging around with strangers, Caitlin?" the broad-shouldered man demanded.

Nervously pushing her glasses up on her nose, an action Lee had observed Jamie perform on a number of occasions, Caitlin protested, her voice full of fear, "Daddy, Jamie’s not a stranger, he’s a classmate. He’s not going to harm…"

Lee had noticed that the father’s gaze was not focused on Jamie, but on him. Lee moved to stand behind Jamie, placing a protective hand on his stepson’s shoulder. He was just about to open his mouth to assure this man that he posed no threat to his daughter, and that he was here as a guardian for Jamie, when her father spoke again.

"I told you the library was not a safe place for you to be by yourself. I knew I should’ve stayed with you. Come on, we’re going home," he ordered, and turned towards the front doors.

Caitlin looked apologetically toward Jamie, before quickly turning and heading toward the front of the library, her father close on her heels. Lee watched as the man turned once and gave him a cold, hard stare that sent shivers down his spine. Relaxing a bit once the girl’s father was out of sight, he removed his hand, and sat down in the chair Caitlin had just vacated.

"It’s not fair," Jamie muttered.

"Jamie," Lee began as concern for the young girl started to grow in the pit of his stomach. "Is Caitlin’s father always like that?"

Jamie nodded. "Yeah. Ever since Caitlin’s mother died, her father’s been extremely protective of her."

Slowly sitting down in the now vacant seat beside Jamie, Lee continued to keep his eyes focused in the direction that the young girl and her father had gone. "How long ago was that?"

Jamie shifted in his seat, so that he now faced Lee. "Last year, around the time that Mom was shot in California," he replied in a quiet voice.

At the mention of the incident in California, Lee’s eyes immediately focused on Jamie, and the near loss of his own wife flashed through his mind. "What happened?" Lee asked weakly.

Jamie slumped down in his chair and began to thumb through the pages of the book in front of him. A moment later, as his eye’s locked with Lee’s intense stare, he answered, "I really don’t think I should talk about it. Caitlin told me that nobody’s supposed to know how her mother died."

Lee eyebrows furrowed together as he listened to Jamie’s whispered response and draped his arm across the back of the boy’s chair. "Jamie, you know you can tell me anything. I won’t say a word to anyone. Believe me, I know how to keep a secret with the best of them." The minute the words exited his mouth, Lee realized how true they really were.

Now, Jamie pushed his glasses back into place with his right hand, and began to pick up one of the unread books with his left. "I really need to get started on my research."

Straightening in his chair, Lee reached out his hand and placed it on Jamie’s arm. "Please, talk to me, Jamie."

Jamie stopped his nervous fidgeting and looked up into Lee’s sincere hazel eyes. The soft tone and pleading words of the male beside him brought back a faint memory of his early childhood. "You know you remind me of someone, Lee."

Leaning his left elbow on the table and resting his chin in his palm, Lee gave Jamie a lopsided smile. "Yeah? Who?"

Jamie shrugged his shoulders and stood. "I need to put these away." With a slightly embarrassed grin, he nodded toward the books, "I looked through them the last time I was here."

Lee looked down at his watch and then up at Jamie. "We still have plenty of time before we have to be back at the theater to pick up Phillip. Want to get some ice cream?"

Jamie couldn’t resist one of Lee’s famous ice cream runs. It had become a habit for the four of them to go out on Sunday afternoon and get "monster" banana splits. Shrugging his shoulders, he mumbled, "Sure, I guess." His heart wasn’t in the mood to stay at the library now that Caitlin wasn’t around.

Smiling, Lee stood and picked up the massive mound of books he had dropped on the table earlier. Cradling them in his arm, he turned to head for the check out counter, but stopped when he noticed something on the table. "Jamie, is that your friend’s?"

Jamie pulled his attention away from his task to look at the item Lee had pointed out. "Oh my gosh, Lee. She needs her notebook for class tomorrow."

Nodding his agreement, Lee watched as Jamie picked up the five-subject notebook, before continuing his trek to the front. "We’ll drop it off…after we get our ice cream. Okay, Sport?"

Jamie’s eyes widened at Lee’s suggestion, but he remained silent as he hesitantly followed Lee toward the counter.

Lee brought his fingers to his temples and massaged slightly, willing the throbbing in his head, from the ice cream induced headache, to stop.

Jamie smiled mischievously at his feeble attempt. "Mom told you not to eat that stuff so fast."

Lee playfully glared at Jamie, before wrapping his hands around the empty bowl and pitching it into a trash bin near the picnic table. "Yeah, yeah, yeah." Lee relaxed upon hearing the soft giggle that came from Jamie’s direction, and he decided that now was as good a time as any to find out who the boy had been talking about earlier. "So, Jamie, who do I remind you of?"

Hearing the question, Jamie started to squirm in his seat. He continued to shovel his remaining sweets into his mouth. Noticing the steady gaze Lee had fixed upon him, Jamie realized that Lee wasn’t going to give up on the subject. Jamie shrugged his shoulders and looked across the table, meeting Lee’s eyes. "Papa West," he whispered self-consciously.

Lee was at a loss for words at the compliment his youngest stepson had bestowed upon him.

Jamie returned his attention to his ice cream, but continued to explain. "When you said that I could tell you anything, it reminded me of him. I used to tell him all kinds of wild tales, and most of them were true. Sometimes, I’d even make up stories, just to spend time with him, but he always knew which ones were real, and which ones weren’t. He’d always listen, no matter what, and never tell Mom or Dad any of it. He didn’t think I was silly or stupid."

Lee reached out and placed his hand on the boy’s arm. "I’d never think anything like that about you, either, Jamie."

As Lee smiled sincerely, his dimples deepening, images of his grandfather’s face flashed through Jamie’s mind, once again. "He was the only one…well only male that ever did that type of thing for me. Dad just didn’t get it. He would always run to Mom and tell her what I’d said…or what I wanted. He never really listened to what I was trying to tell him."

Lee gave Jamie’s arm a quick squeeze, then, he pulled back his hand and rested his elbows on the table. "I can understand how you feel, Jamie."

Tilting his head to the side, Jamie returned the smile. "You do?" When he saw the sincerity in Lee’s eyes as he nodded, Jamie quickly finished his thought before Lee could get a word out. "You know what, I really believe that you do understand."

The intimacy of their conversation caused Lee to shift in his seat in the same manner that Jamie had done earlier. For the second time that evening, Lee found himself in unfamiliar territory. He had grown close to the boys, but he definitely wasn’t comfortable showing deep affection towards them. He remembered how long it had taken him to be able to open up to Amanda, and now, suddenly, he was thrown into a situation where he had to express his feelings to her children…their children. "I’ll always listen."

Jamie watched the melted ice cream slide off the end of his spoon. He dipped it back into the bowl, then held it up, and watched it drip down again. "I really like Caitlin, Lee. And it’s not in the same way Phillip hangs around girls. You know what I mean?"

Lee nodded with complete understanding. Jamie glanced up quickly, and then returned to playing with the soupy dessert. "It’s her dad that keeps us from spending anytime together. He blames himself for her mom’s death."

Lee sat quietly, encouraging Jamie to continue. "You see, Caitlin’s dad is a cop. Not just any kind of cop…he’s a federal agent."

If Lee had not been a trained agent himself, his face would have revealed his shock at hearing Jamie’s statement. Instead, his face remained an expressionless mask as he nodded his understanding.

Jamie pushed his ice cream to the side and locked eyes with Lee. "He left them. That is, he left Caitlin and her mother when she was five, hoping to protect them from any bad people that might have come along and tried to hurt them. You know, just to get to him. Then, last year, her mom was killed at the gas station where she worked. Caitlin says everyone keeps telling her dad that it was just a robbery, but her father isn’t so sure. He blames himself for her death. She told me that she overheard him talking to her uncle. Over and over, her father’s said that her mom would still be alive today, if only he’d stuck around." Jamie crinkled his nose under his glasses and squinted at the ceiling.

As he listened to Jamie’s story, Lee felt the world closing in around him. The oxygen to his brain depleting more and more with every breath he took.

"Lee, are you all right?" Jamie had stopped watching his ice cream and had focused on his mother’s boyfriend. He figured Lee had been quiet, just listening to him talk, but now, as he took in the older man’s ashen gray face, he wasn’t so sure.

Lee demanded his lips to move, but found that they, like the rest of his body, refused.

"Lee…?"

Swallowing the lump in his throat, Lee forced himself to reestablish eye contact with the teenager. "Yeah, I’m fine. Go on."

Jamie stood and went to sit beside Lee. "Are you sure you’re okay? You looked like you were about to pass out or something."

Lee shook his head and put a reassuring hand on the boy’s arm. "I’m sure. Please, I think I’d like to hear the rest of this story."

Jamie nodded and continued, this time keeping his eyes on Lee. "Well, then Caitlin said he thinks he’s a chicken because he ran away. He’s promised to make it right by never letting her out of his sight, unless he has to. You know, for school. He seems to think that he’s making it up to her, but he’s really making her life miserable."

Wrapping an arm around Jamie’s shoulder, Lee felt tears coming to his eyes. Caitlin’s story was so similar to his own recent life, it was frightening. He had fought for so long to keep Amanda and her family at arm’s length, for their safety. He had told himself that it was the only way to protect them from whatever evil this line of work could bring them, only to be told that another had done a similar thing. Sitting here with his stepson, he could see that this other person had chosen the wrong path and had lost the precious time he could have shared with his family. The story of Caitlin and her father’s loss confirmed that he and Amanda were doing the right thing by bringing their marriage out in the open.

Suddenly, Lee felt overwhelmed and knew he couldn’t wait any longer for the whole truth to come out. "Jamie, I think I need to tell you something."

Jamie pulled back at the sound of Lee’ s voice cracking. "What?"

Removing his arm from around his stepson’s shoulder, Lee raked his left hand through his hair. Standing, he motioned for Jamie to follow him to the car.

Confused and frightened about what Lee might say, Jamie shook his head and followed.

Once they were both securely in the car, Lee started the engine and drove towards the city, rather than the movie theater.

Jamie looked at the clock on the dash, and then out the window, before shooting a confused, questioning glance in Lee’s direction.

Lee caught the look from the corner of his eye. "We need to talk, Jamie and that was not the place to do it. We have another hour before we need to pick up Phillip, and I want to take you somewhere. We’re going to a place that has become a favorite for your mom and me."

Chapter 4

Jamie sighed and focused on the passing cars. For the next ten minutes, he watched as the number of streetlights increased. Noticing that they were stopping near the Jefferson Memorial, his curiosity got the better of him. He couldn’t stand the silence any longer. Turning to look at Lee, Jamie asked, "Why are we here?"

Pulling the Jeep into a vacant space not far from his destination, Lee smiled over at Jamie. "Your mom and I come here, sometimes, to talk and make decisions. I have some things I need to tell you, and I figured I’d bring you here, too."

Jamie opened his car door and looked around at the couples walking together in the moonlight. "This isn’t about…romance is it, Lee?"

Lee looked at his stepson and faltered for a moment. Then, nodding toward the memorial, he cleared his throat and began to walk in that direction. "Ah, no…not exactly. I promise I’ll tell you once we get to the top of the stairs."

The two settled beside each other on the top step, and sat listening to the night. Taking a deep breath, Lee began, "Jamie, I have a confession to make; I hope that you’ll understand the reasons behind what I’ve done in the past. Only, I want you to hear me out before you make any rash judgments."

Jamie felt butterflies developing in his stomach. He prayed that Lee wasn’t about to tell him that he was leaving them, and hoped that, instead, Lee was about to open up to him, just as he had done with Lee back at the ice-cream shop. "Okay," he hesitantly whispered.

Sighing, Lee leaned back against the step and looked up at the sky. "I’m sure that your mom has told you that she and I met at work." Lee watched as Jamie nodded. "Well, it wasn’t really at work, but…well, you could say that we met because of work."

Jamie looked at him confused. "Huh?"

Lee shook his head slightly before continuing, "The truth is, your mother and I met over five years ago."

Jamie’s eyebrows furrowed at Lee’s confession. "What?’

Looking down at his stepson’s bewildered face, Lee decided to explain, "You see, your mother and I aren’t exactly film makers." Jamie chuckled, and Lee looked at him sternly. "What’s so funny about that?"

Jamie shoved his hands into his pockets and leaned back as Lee had done earlier. "I’m not stupid, Lee. You guys run off at the oddest times. Caitlin said her dad used to do that a lot, too. Besides, you don’t know a thing about film."

Lee smiled at his stepson’s observation and relaxed against the steps of the memorial, before continuing, "Your mom will probably be very upset with me for what I’m about to tell you, but I think you deserve to know the truth. You see…" He ran his hand through his hair, again, and just let the words spill out, "Your mother and I work for the government. Our jobs are dangerous, Jamie, and well…I used to feel much the same way Caitlin’s dad does about protecting my loved ones."

A tear trickled down Jamie’s cheek and he turned his head, so Lee couldn’t see his face. "So you’re leaving us?"

Lee sat up straight at his stepson’s choked words. "NO, Jamie. I’m not going to leave you or your family. Ever."

Jamie looked over at Lee’s harsh, but reassuring tone. "But you just said—"

Lee draped his right arm around Jamie’s shoulder and pulled him closer. "I said that I used to feel like he does; I didn’t say that I was going to do what he did. Your mother has made me see that being part of a family is more important than listening to inner fears. She’s changed me in so many ways over the years, and managed to change the way I view the world. I love you and your brother very much and I want so much to be a full-time part of your family."

Jamie relaxed in the comfortable support Lee offered. He felt more at ease now that he understood that Lee wasn’t going to drop them like a pair of worn out shoes. "So what do you and Mom do?" he asked, peering up from beneath his glasses.

Taking a deep breath, Lee began the story. "I can’t tell you everything, Jamie. That would be too dangerous, but I can tell you that our work involves keeping our nation safe, and your mother is a big part of that."

Jamie looked at him contentedly, prodding him to continue. "Like what? I mean, does my mom carry a gun?" he asked hesitantly.

Lee shook his head. "No. Your mom is very much against guns. I will admit that I’ve tried to get her to use one, for her own safety." He smiled to himself, lost in thought. "But your mom has proven to me, on a number of occasions, that there are other ways of getting out of a jam without using a gun," he replied, his voice full of pride.

Hearing what seemed like admiration in Lee’s voice, Jamie turned to fully face his mother’s boyfriend. "You really love my mother, don’t you?"

"Yes, Jamie, I really do. It may have taken over three years for me to realize that I was crazy about your mother, but when I did, it hit me like a bolt of lightening. I couldn’t get enough of her, but we had to consider you and Phillip."

Jamie stiffened at the comment. "So you didn’t want to deal with Mom’s excess baggage? Is that why it took you so long to come to the house?" He broke contact with Lee, rose, and quickly walked away.

"Wait, Jamie, you don’t understand!" Lee called to his stepson, as he rose swiftly from his seat. After all the progress they had just made, this sudden change in Jamie’s attitude left him feeling as if he’d just been punched in the stomach.

Jamie looked at Lee with disgust and pain. "That’s the real reason isn’t it? You didn’t want to be around us."

In two steps, Lee was standing in front of Jamie and placed his strong hands on the boy’s arms. "No, Jamie," he spoke seriously, "I was afraid…afraid of getting too close to you and Phillip, and then, losing you. Just like Caitlin’s dad lost Caitlin’s mom."

At the mention of Caitlin, Lee’s reasoning suddenly made sense to Jamie. "But that’s wrong, Lee," he sputtered, "It’s not fair to Mom, you, Phillip…or me."

Lee cringed at the boy’s decisive words. "I know, Jamie, and I’m sorry if it sounds like I was being selfish. You need to know that I love you. It took me a long time to admit my feelings for your mother to myself, but I realized much more quickly, just how much I love you and your brother. I didn’t want anything to mess that up. I hope you can understand that your mother and I wanted to do whatever we could to keep you boys safe."

Jamie wrapped his arms around Lee for a quick hug. "We have a lot to talk about when we get home to Mom, don’t we?" Jamie, then, pulled back from Lee at the sound of a chuckle echoing from his stepfather’s chest. "What?"

Shaking his head, Lee moved back toward the steps. Feeling the need for some solid support, he sat down. "There’s more, Jamie."

Jamie remained standing where Lee had just left him. "There’s more? You are going to leave us after all, aren’t you?" he said in an accusing tone.

"No Jamie, I’m not going to leave you." Patting the space next to him, he invited his stepson to sit.

Jamie heard the conviction in Lee’s voice, and now, suddenly, his previous worry changed to curiosity as he wondered what else Lee could possibly tell him. Hesitating momentarily, he decided he couldn’t wait any longer and moved towards Lee.

Once Jamie was seated beside him, Lee took a deep breath, shook his head, and then, before he lost his nerve, blurted out, "You see, your mom and I got married last year." As soon as the words where out, Lee focused his attention on a nearby couple, giving his stepson time to react to what he’d just learned.

The lights that surrounded the memorial blurred through Jamie’s tears. He blankly looked up towards the sky, trying to hide the tears from Lee. A mixture of emotions ran through him, as he repeated the words "your mom and I got married" in his head. He wasn’t sure if he was relieved because it meant that Lee wasn’t planning on abandoning them, or if he was upset for being kept in the dark.

‘The silence is worse than an outburst,’ Lee thought as he moved his attention to his stepson. Remaining quiet, Lee slid over on the step to sit closer to his stepson. "Jamie? I’m sorry. We should have told you." Not hearing a response, he continued, "You need to know that I don’t want to take your father’s place. I just hope that you can find a place for me and accept me as a part of your family."

After a few more moments of silence, Lee moved to kneel on the step below Jamie. What he saw, when he looked into the boy’s eyes, surprised him. There was no hate, hurt, or anger. He saw what he had seen in his own eyes when he had looked in the mirror the day after he had made Amanda King, and her family, a permanent part of his life. He saw peace in his stepson’s eyes.

Jamie tried his best to ignore the penetrating gaze. Lee realized that Jamie still needed some time, and moved to resume his place on the step beside his stepson.

Jamie removed his glasses and, with his shirtsleeve, wiped the tears that stained his face. He studied Lee for a moment, evaluating his stepfather who was sitting with his elbows on his knees and his head hung down, before asking, "Why didn’t you tell us sooner? Why did you keep it a secret from us? Was it because you were worried about keeping us safe, or were trying to keep yourself safe from us?"

Lee turned his head and took in the serious features of his stepson. He knew he had no choice, but to be completely honest with Jamie; there was no use sugar coating anything now. "Your mother and I agreed to the idea of a secret marriage because we felt you boys would be much safer if no one could connect you to me. We probably should have waited, to see how things panned out, but I love your mother. I love her more than I ever thought I could love any woman, and I just couldn’t wait to marry her." He paused and moved his gaze to the ground. "A small part of me was glad we had chosen to do it this way. It gave me a real chance to let you boys get to know me, and for me to find a place in your lives. That’s where I believe…I mean, hope I belong."

Jamie heard the hint of sadness in Lee’s voice. Reaching over, he put a hand on his stepfather’s shoulder. "You sacrificed a lot in doing what you did, didn’t you?"

Lee nodded, "It wasn’t until recently that I realized just how much I’ve been missing out on by not being a full-time part of your lives. I love you, your brother, and your grandmother very much and I don’t want to keep that hidden any longer."

Jamie wiped another tear from his cheek with his free hand. "Lee, I think I’m finally ready to accept the idea that you really do love us. And I really do believe that you would do anything for us. Thank you."

Lee looked up at the whispered words. "Of course I love you. I love all of you. I found out the hard way that every day is a gift. I hope you understand."

Nodding, Jamie smiled. "To tell you the truth, Lee, if it hadn’t been for Caitlin, I might not have understood, but I think I do now. You were afraid you would lose Mom, if anything ever happened to us. You and Mom have made a lot of sacrifices for our sakes, haven’t you?"

Lee again shook his head at the adult manner in which the young teen seemed to accept the situation. "You’re just as amazing as your mother."

Jamie’s smile brightened at the compliment. "I doubt I’ll ever be as smart or as brave as Mom. We still have a lot to talk about though. I want to know more about what happened and all."

Lee reached out and patted Jamie firmly on the back. "We have the rest of our lives to talk, Jamie. I’ll be here for you."

Taking a deep breath, Jamie looked over at the busy street. "I don’t think Grandma will be as understanding, though. I bet she’s gonna be really upset. What are you gonna tell her?"

Running his hand through his hair, Lee looked down at his left hand, where his wedding ring should have been. "Your mother is taking care of that now." Hearing Jamie suck in his breath in surprise, Lee quickly continued, "I wanted to be there, but your mom said it was best she did this alone. I sure hope it’s going well." The last part was partially whispered, more to himself than to Jamie.

Jamie jabbed Lee in the side with his elbow, then stood and began to walk down the steps. "You and Mom are in a lot of hot water." Stopping a few steps down, he turned back and looked up at Lee, then continued, "Don’t worry, Lee. It’ll all work out."

Standing and shoving his hands into his pockets, Lee shrugged his shoulders and followed Jamie down the steps, two at a time. "I hope so. I haven’t been this jittery since I was interrogated by some mixed-breed Nazi Russians…" Lee closed his mouth as he watched his stepson stop dead in his tracks only a few feet from the car. "Well, that’s another story, for another time."

Jamie turned a questioning face back towards his step-dad. "Why do I have the feeling that I won’t need the library quite as much for my research on foreign countries?"

Pulling the keys from his pocket, Lee unlocked the Jeep and flashed Jamie one of his most innocent smiles. "What gives you that idea?"

Rolling his eyes, Jamie opened his car door and got in. "The next few months sure are going to be interesting."

Lee turned on the ignition and started to pull away from the curb while Jamie began to bombard him with questions. "So when are you going to tell Phillip? When are you going to move in? You are planning on moving in with us, aren’t you? Or are we gonna get a bigger house, so that I don’t have to share a room with Phillip anymore?"

Lee released a heavy sigh as he eased his way into the busy downtown street. "One thing at a time, Jamie. We were planning on telling both you boys tomorrow. I guess Phillip is the last to know. Let’s not worry about that right now. Let’s head over to Caitlin’s. I want to have a word with her dad."

Jamie felt a knot forming in the pit of his stomach at the thought of meeting with Caitlin’s dad, one on one. "Lee, can I wait in the car?"

Lee smiled at the squirming boy. "If that’s what you want, Champ."

Jamie quickly nodded, and slid down in his seat. "Yep. That’s what I want."

Lee felt the pressure of the night’s events catching up to him as he drove down the familiar streets with his youngest stepson riding shotgun. After stopping by Caitlin’s, they had gone to the movie theater and picked-up Phillip, who now rode in the back, as happy as could be. Lee, however, couldn’t concentrate on his oldest stepson’s ramblings about his big night out. Instead, he prayed that Amanda wasn’t going to be too upset with him for being half an hour late. He had decided not to chance calling her, for fear of interrupting her "discussion" with her mother. Besides, their tardiness wasn’t entirely his fault. Phillip had been late getting back to the theater. The Keens had apologized for not being back sooner, but the ice cream place had been packed. After saying goodnight to the gang of girls, Phillip had finally decided to join them. Lee had thanked the Keens for letting Phillip join them, and once his oldest stepson had settled in the back and buckled his seat belt, they had headed for home.

The whole ride home, Jamie sat quietly in the passenger seat, listening to Phillip go on and on about Lori and her two friends. Phillip proudly retold how all three girls fought with each other over who was going to get to sit next to him during the movie.

Lee glanced over at Jamie a few times, and knew that his youngest stepson was still processing everything he had learned, earlier. Lee was reminded, once again, of just how much Jamie took after his mother. He wasn’t your usual teenager with raging hormones. He was a sensible young man, with a heart of gold. Jamie was going to grow up to be a caring and compassionate man.

Peering up into the rearview mirror at Phillip, Lee mentally shook his head. It was weird how Phillip, with his outlook on girls, once again reminded him of himself at that age. Strangely enough, Lee couldn’t imagine Joe being that girl crazy as a boy. Joe was too much like Amanda, good-hearted and very down-to-earth. ‘Did I really just compliment my wife’s ex? Not that I don’t like Joe, but I mean, look what the guy gave up. He left behind a loving family, just to help out underprivileged countries." Lee mentally berated himself for that thought. If it hadn’t been for Joe leaving them behind, Amanda wouldn’t have been at the train station that day. He’d still be spending his life as bachelor, and would never have found his soul mate. A shiver went through him. He couldn’t imagine life without Amanda, and dark thoughts like those might just cause the nightmares to return.

Taking his mind off of such gloomy ideas, Lee looked at the clock on the dash as he pulled the Jeep onto Maplewood Drive. It read a quarter to eleven. "Not too bad, we’re only forty-five minutes late. I hope she hasn’t called out the National Guard," he chuckled. He almost added something about how, instead, she had just called Billy, when he remembered he was talking to his stepsons. He glanced quickly at Jamie, who gave him a half smile and a wink.

Phillip, on the other, hand decided to comment, "Oh, don’t worry, Lee. She’s probably just pacing back in forth in front of the window in the family room. You won’t be in too much trouble."

Jamie jumped in to defend his stepfather. Turning in his seat he stared at his older brother. "Well, Bird Brain, if you hadn’t insisted on going to the movies with Lori and her friends, we would’ve been home hours ago."

As much as Lee enjoyed listening to the boys, he had no desire for a fight to break out between the two brothers, especially not while they were under his watch. "Jamie," Lee called out, his voice a bit fatherly in nature, "as much as I appreciate you sticking up for me, I don’t think calling your brother names will solve anything. Don’t worry, I’ll take full responsibility for being late." He winked at Jamie, who smiled in return and tilted his head to look out the front window. ‘Besides, when she finds out that I told Jamie everything, without her, I’ll be lucky if she ever lets me move into the house.’

Pulling into the driveway, a contented smile crossed Lee’s lips. ‘Yes, it’s a great feeling to be able to pull "into" the driveway.’ Granted, it was Amanda’s car, but the act itself just felt right. No sooner had he put the car in park, than Phillip had jumped out and was heading towards the house. Lee’s contented smile quickly faded as he noticed the curtains in the front window move. "Phillip was right, your mom was watching for us."

Jamie, who was just getting ready to open his door, turned to face Lee. "Don’t worry, Lee. Mom loves you and she trusts you. She knows that we’ve been in good hands." Opening the car door, Jamie got out and followed his brother’s path.

Lee felt a tug on his heartstrings. Despite what Amanda might think, telling Jamie the whole truth had been the right thing to do. Jamie was definitely more mature than his brother, even if Phillip was two years older. Of course, now that Jamie knew, they would also have to tell Phillip the truth about their jobs. Somehow, that knowledge made him feel better. ‘Yes, it’ll be good to have all our secrets out in the open.’ Getting out of the car, he closed the door and headed towards the house to face the music.

As he reached the back door, he could hear Phillip relating the events of his evening. Lee quietly slipped into the house, trying to keep in the background in order to assess his wife’s mood.

Amanda had watched Lee slink in the back door, and knew that her husband probably thought he was in trouble. Truth was, the movie she and her mother had been watching had just ended. She trusted Lee and knew that if something bad had happened, she would have heard about it by now. However, she might as well have some fun messing with Lee’s mind a little, before letting him off the hook.

Once Phillip had finished telling about his escapades, Amanda turned to her youngest son. "And how was your evening, Jamie? What did you and Lee end up doing?"

Jamie glanced back towards Lee before responding. "Lee and I went to the library, then got ice cream. All in all, it was a very informative evening." He raised his head and placed a kiss on his mother’s cheek. "Goodnight, Mom. Goodnight, Lee." Flashing Lee a smile, he added on his way towards the stairs, "See in you the morning for breakfast."

Lee smiled back. "Goodnight, Jamie. I promise to be here bright and early." Jamie just nodded and began his ascent up the steps.

Phillip looked puzzled, but shrugged. "Hey, Dufus. Wait up. Of course, Lee’s coming by for breakfast. He said he’d bring the donuts."

"Phillip, don’t call you brother names," Amanda admonished as she moved closer to her husband.

"Sorry, Mom. Goodnight." Then as he reached the bottom stair, Phillip stopped. "Goodnight, Lee. Thanks for letting me go to the movies tonight. You’re the best."

"Goodnight, Phillip, and you’re welcome," Lee responded.

With the boys out of sight, Amanda put her hands on her hips and put on her best "you’re in trouble, Buster" face.

Lee saw her features turn serious and knew he was in hot water. Swallowing, he started to explain. "Amanda, I’m really sorry we were late and I didn’t call. I keep telling you that we need to put a car phone in your car. I was going to call from the theater, but for some reason, they have this stupid policy that, unless you buy a ticket, they won’t let you go in to use the pay phone. In fact, I think you should be very proud of me for not starting a fight over that little detail. Besides, I didn’t want to interrupt your evening with your mother…"

All hope Amanda had had of being stern with her husband went out the window as she listened to him ramble. Unable to control herself, she burst into laughter.

Lee stopped his explanations and stared at his wife. "What’s so funny?"

Amanda walked over to him and put her arms around his neck. "Let’s just put it this way, if Billy or Francine had been here, they’d tell you that you’ve been spending way too much time with me."

Lee shot her a quizzical look, and then, suddenly, realized that he had been going on and on. Wrapping his arms around her waist, he bent down and kissed her soundly on the lips. "So does this mean you’re not upset with me?"

Amanda smiled up at him. "Oh, Lee. You were never in trouble. I trust you with the boys, besides, they’re your sons, too." Raising her head she placed her lips on his and gave him a very passionate kiss.

Lee let his hands wander up and down her back. He couldn’t wait until he could get caught up in the moment, pick up his wife, and carry her to their bedroom, but that time wasn’t now. Reluctantly he broke the kiss. Needing to get his mind off of all the ways he could pleasure his wife, he asked, "How did it go with your mother?"

Amanda stepped out of the embrace, then took Lee’s hand in hers and started towards the couch.

Lee sat down and pulled Amanda down next to him. She swung her legs over his lap and lay her head on his chest.

"Actually, it didn’t go too badly." She let her finger trace circles on his chest. "She’ll be mad at us…well, I suspect, mostly me…for awhile, but for the most part, she seemed very happy for us. Once she gets over the hurt of being kept in the dark, things will get back to normal, but until then, don’t be surprised if she’s a little distant." Amanda turned her head to look back in the direction of the stairs. "I do have to say, though, she was glad that I wasn’t breaking the news because I had to." Looking up at her husband, she saw a confused look upon his face. "Let’s just say that she was glad that I wasn’t telling her because I was pregnant."

Amanda felt Lee stiffen at that comment. He coughed out the next words, "Where did that come from?"

Smiling against his shirt, she replayed her mother’s words. "‘Amanda, why are you telling me now, anyway? Are you pregnant? Are you telling me because you have to?’ I almost lost it." Turning her head, she looked her husband in the eye. "Besides, would it be so terrible if I were pregnant?"

Lee paused for a moment and watched her face. Pulling back, so he could really see her expression, a strange feeling came over him. "Amanda…are you trying to tell me something?"

Amanda laughed. Leaning up, she kissed his cheek. "No, Sweetheart, I’m not. But since we are on this topic, I figured I’d find out what your thoughts on the subject were."

Lee ran his right hand through his hair. "I don’t know, Amanda. I guess I never really gave it any thought…I mean, well…I guess the thought had crossed my mind once or twice, but with all the secrecy, I never really thought seriously about it."

Amanda took his free hand in hers. "To be honest, until Mother said it tonight, I never really thought seriously about it, either." Bringing his hand to her lips, she kissed his palm. "I would love to bring a child into this world, a child who was a symbol of our love for each other, but I think we need to take things slowly. I think we need to get everything straightened out with the family we have now, before we think about adding to it."

Lee let the idea sink in. As the thought of bringing a little girl or boy into the world with his Amanda settled, he pulled her closer to him. Leaning down, he whispered, "Well, I, for one, can’t wait to get started on that project."

Amanda rolled her eyes and swatted him with her hand. "Didn’t you hear what I just said? We haven’t even told the boys that you’re their stepfather, yet." Her tone had started out light, but now, grew serious. "Don’t you think we need to let them get used to the idea that you’re a part of the family first? Besides, we kept our marriage a secret in order to protect our family, and now, you’re thinking seriously of bringing another life into the equation…?"

Lee interrupted her by pulling her closer and kissing her. "Amanda, calm down. I know you’re right. We can’t predict what the future will hold, but in the meantime, you can’t deny me the pleasure of loving my wife."

Amanda relaxed. "Oh, now I see where your mind is. Well, if that’s what you were getting at, I guess I can think of a few things to satisfy your desire." She started moving her hands round in circles, lower and lower, until they were just above his jeans.

Lee knew where his wife was going. He also knew that the boys were upstairs, along with Dotty, and even if two out of the three knew they were married, now was not the time to start something that they couldn’t finish. Reluctantly, he moved his hand to stop her motions. "Uh, Amanda. As much as I would love to go where you’re thinking, I should probably head home. We have a lot to talk about with the boys tomorrow."

Amanda nodded in agreement. "I guess you’re right." Moving her hands to rest on his legs, she looked up into his eyes. "Hey, I never asked you how things went with Jamie. You two must have had some bonding experience. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you two so relaxed with each other. That reminds me, did you find out what was bothering him?"

Lee shifted uncomfortably in his seat. "Actually, I did…we did…I mean, we had a nice long talk, and I found out that he was having some girl troubles. I think we got that all straightened out, but…" He let go of Amanda, and ran his hand through his hair, again.

Amanda looked at her husband, curiously. "Lee? Whatever you have to say, I’ll understand, you know that. We’ve been through this before; there’s no reason for you to be afraid to tell me things."

Lee decided it was better to get the truth out, since that was beginning to be the theme of the weekend. Running his hand through his hair, yet again, he decided to get on with the confession. "Well, you see…Jamie told me some things, and well, I realized that he deserved to know the truth…"

Amanda removed her legs from Lee’s lap, and rose from the couch. "Exactly what truth are you referring to, Lee?"

Lee got up, and moved to stand next to her. Taking her right hand in his left, he continued, "Let’s just say that Jamie won’t be surprised tomorrow when we tell him and Phillip that we’re already married." To Lee’s surprise, Amanda sat back down and looked up at him, her eyes soft, not angry.

"I take it, that since he’s still talking to you, and to me for that matter, that it went pretty well?" she asked, patting the cushion next to her.

Lee joined her, and then turned to face her. "Actually, he took that part better than the first part."

Amanda looked her husband in the eye. "What first part? Out with it, Lee," she demanded. "What exactly did you tell him?"

"He told me some things about his friend’s father. That’s why he’s been so down. This girl he likes, actually cares about, has a very overprotective father, who just happens to work for the F.B.I. Well, we got to talking…" Lee paused to see what kind of reaction he would get from his wife.

Amanda, getting an odd feeling that she knew what was coming, crossed her arms in front of her. "And…?"

Lee broke eye contact with her, and averted his gaze to his lap. "Well, I can’t explain it, Amanda. Something came over me, and I felt he needed to know everything."

Rising from her seat, she moved and sat on the coffee table, directly in front of her husband. In a motherly tone, she asked, "Are you telling me that you told him the truth about our jobs?"

Lee looked up and caught her penetrating gaze. Finding it difficult to form any words, he just nodded.

Again rising to her feet, Amanda scolded, "I can’t believe you. Why? You know we discussed not telling them. We thought it was best that they not know." She paused and took in her husband’s features. Instead of him preparing to protest, a usual reaction to her reprimands, she saw peace in his eyes. Giving up, she sat back down, but crossed her arms, defiantly.

"Amanda, I don’t know why, but I just knew it was the right thing to do. I know we had discussed not telling the boys about the Agency, but I felt he deserved to know." Reaching over, he put a hand on her knee. "Believe it or not, when I started to tell him, he had already figured it out. You have one smart boy there, Amanda. He told me that he kind of suspected that we weren’t filmmakers. He hinted that he’d figured it out, mostly because I know nothing about film."

Lee watched as a small smile crossed her lips, and he felt himself relax a little. "I know that I should have waited for you, but…Amanda…I can’t explain it. Maybe a part of me was excited that Jamie and I were finally opening up to each other. I think I needed to tell him the truth, in order to fully gain his trust."

Amanda let her resolve drop, and moved her hand to gently caress his cheek. "It’s not exactly how we planned on telling them. I guess telling Phillip won’t be that hard now, besides, he wasn’t the one I was really worried about. Mother wasn’t exactly happy with me when she found out we weren’t going to tell the boys about our jobs, anyway. I guess it’s best to get the whole truth out."

"So you’re not mad?"

"No, I guess I’m not. Not really, anyway. I can’t say I’m happy about it, but it’s like they say…the truth will set you free." With all the confessions that had taken place that evening, Amanda was suddenly feeling very tired. Rising, she reached out her hand and invited him to join her. "Come on, Dear Husband. It’s time for bed."

Lee looked at her questioningly. "Yeah, I guess I should be going home. I have to get up early and pick up donuts for breakfast." He rose and wrapped his arms around his wife one more time, before hitting the road.

Amanda encircled her husband’s waist, and held him tight. "I realize Phillip still doesn’t know the truth, but I’m too tired to come up with a real reason why you shouldn’t stay. So you’re more than welcome to sleep here tonight. That is, unless you would rather drive home and go to bed, alone?" A teasing smile played on her lips. "Which, if that’s the case…I won’t stop you."

Lee let his mouth drop momentarily, before quickly overcoming the shock. "Are you sure?" he asked tentatively.

Amanda nodded. "This evening was pretty tough, on both of us, I imagine, and I, for one, don’t feel like going to bed alone." Yawning, she moved her hand to cover her mouth. "It’s probably not the most ethical thing to do, but I really don’t feel like being without you tonight."

A feeling of joy ran through Lee. Bending down, he picked Amanda up in his arms, and headed for the stairs.

"I guess that means you’re staying?" Amanda smiled. Feeling his strong arms holding her, she was overcome with contentment at the thought of spending the entire night with her husband, under the same roof as their family. Suddenly, she realized that she wasn’t all that tired anymore and started placing feather-light kisses along Lee’s neck. "Oh, but Lee…," she whispered.

Lee stopped their ascent. "What?" he asked cautiously.

"You’re still going to have to get up early. You did promise to get donuts for breakfast." She laughed, and then continued her trail of kisses.

"If you keep that up, my dear wife, I don’t think I’ll have to worry about waking up early, I may never get to sleep," he said seductively.

"Are you making me a promise you intend to keep?" Amanda whispered into his ear.

"Oh, yes, Mrs. Stetson. I’m going to enjoy having you in my arms for the entire night, knowing that all the late night departures are over. And I’m ready to start that right now." A gleam of excitement flashed in his eyes as he took the rest of the steps two at a time.

Epilogue

Leaning back, Lee propped his elbows on the weather-stained picnic table and watched his family. Who would have thought that the "great Scarecrow" would be spending a glorious spring Saturday morning with his family? Anyone who knew him three or four years ago would have laughed at such a preposterous idea. A smile crossed his face as he watched his wife and mother-in-law putting out the picnic lunch. He had attempted to help, but had been banished to the bench, "to keep an eye on everyone," as Amanda had put it when more of the food was finding its way into his mouth, than was actually being set onto the picnic tables.

His eyes moved from his wife’s perfect figure, to the basketball court where Phillip was playing with some friends from school. They were obviously trying to show off for Angie, the girl Amanda had told him Phillip had been hanging around with after school. Between the Lori’s and the Angie’s, who could keep things straight. One minute, Phillip was talking about going to the movies again, with Lori, and the next he was trying to arrange "study" dates with Angie. Lee shook his head and wondered how many times his friends had thought the same thing about him. Smiling, he watched Angie pretend to be in a deep conversation with a girlfriend, and only glance occasionally at the game. He laughed as he realized that no matter which generation you watched, the not-so-subtle games of all girls and boys to get another’s attention were all the same. Keeping his eyes on the court, he thought back to the morning they had filled Phillip in on the family secrets.

*************************

Lee entered "his" house carrying a large box of donuts and a small bag of croissants for the women in his life. As he walked through the front foyer, he felt a storm of butterflies flood his stomach as he looked at his family gathered together in the den. Opening his mouth to say something, he caught his wife’s eye. She put a finger to her lips and nodded her head towards the kitchen. Easing through the foyer with the stealth of a trained agent, he peered into the kitchen, not knowing exactly what to expect. The butterflies stopped their tirade in his stomach as he looked at the smiling face of his youngest "son" chatting on the phone.

Rising from the couch, Amanda crossed the den undetected by her partner. Reaching her husband before he had completely entered the room, she stood on her tiptoes and whispered into his left ear. "He’s talking to Caitlin. She called about five minutes ago."

Lee went from being surprised at the bright smile on the young boy’s face, to extremely happy as he heard Caitlin’s name mentioned. "She called him?" Amanda nodded in response. "Wow, I guess what I said to Tom last night must’ve really had an impact on him."

"I guess so." Amanda raised her head and placed a kiss on Lee’s lips. "I don’t think I’ve seen him that happy in a really long time." Taking the smaller bag from his hand, she placed her hand in his now empty one and led him towards the kitchen table. "Come on, I’m starved. Where’d you go for the donuts? Maryland?"

Lee just laughed. "No, but you wouldn’t believe the lines at the bakery on a Saturday."

Dotty and Phillip, seeing Lee and Amanda head for the table, followed suit.

Ten minutes later, Jamie was off the phone and asking if it would be okay for him to take Caitlin to the movies that night, "There’s only one catch," he mumbled.

Both Lee and Amanda looked at him questioningly. "What is it, Sweetheart?" Amanda asked, placing her hand gently on Jamie’s arm.

"Caitlin’s dad said that Lee has to go with us, so…" Jamie turned pleading eyes toward his stepfather, "Would you and Mom mind coming?"

Smiling mischievously at Jamie, and then at Amanda, Lee thought the idea over. "Well, as it turns out, I was thinking of taking my…" he stopped quickly and looked toward Phillip. "I think that can be arranged. Why don’t we have breakfast and talk more about it then? There’s something," he took Amanda’s hand in his, "that you Mother and I need to talk to you boys about, but let’s do it on full stomachs, okay?"

Jamie, knowing what the discussion was going to be about, nodded and grabbed a powdered donut.

Lee had been watching Dotty from the corner of his eye. She made herself a cup of tea and graciously thanked Lee for getting her a croissant, but that was all she had said. In fact, she had barely even looked at him since that comment. Lee knew he was going to be in for a really long wait for forgiveness. Somehow, he knew that Dotty, in some small way, blamed him for getting her daughter mixed up in a life of danger and whisking her off for a secret marriage. Hadn’t he blamed himself for the same things a million times over the last few years. Amanda had helped him get over those fears, and he knew that she would help him through this as well as help Dotty heal.

Once breakfast was over, Dotty excused herself, commenting that she had some errands to run. She said a quick "bye" to the boys, and then, headed out. She didn’t know that Jamie had already been told, nor that Amanda and Lee were about to tell Phillip the whole truth, but she knew some secrets were about to be revealed, and figured that the "family" needed some time alone.

After Dotty had gone, Phillip looked from his brother to his mom, and then to Lee. Somehow, he had a feeling that everyone else knew some big secret that he didn’t. "Mom, didn’t Lee say something about you guys needing to discuss something with us?"

Lee saw the confused look on his eldest stepson’s face. "Yeah, Sport. Your Mom and I do want to talk to you about a few things."

"Why don’t we head into the den," Amanda suggested, as she began to slide off the bench at the kitchen table. Grabbing Lee’s hand, she led them into the other room. She waited until both her boys were seated on the couch next to Lee, before taking a seat on the coffee table across from them. "Boys…Lee and I have some things to tell you, and we…"

Lee turned, so he was facing them. "What you mother is trying to say, is that we know you’ll probably be very disappointed in us, but we want you to know we had your best interests at heart." Lee addressed most of his comments to Phillip. Jamie already knew what was about to be revealed, but Lee felt his oldest stepson might take the news better if it was being told to both of them, rather than only one. No use starting an argument, about who knew what first, before Amanda and he had a chance to get the truth out on the table.

"Are you trying to tell us that you and Mom got engaged or something?" Phillip asked, looking first at his mom, then at Lee. "I mean," glancing once at Jamie, "if you got engaged and are worried that we’ll be mad because you didn’t talk to use first, heck," he smiled and faced Lee. "I can’t speak for Wormbrain here," he paused and pointed towards his brother, "but I think having you as our stepfather would be the best thing in the world."

For a brief moment, Lee was overcome with the knowledge that he really was loved and accepted. However, he had a feeling that Phillip’s compliment might be short lived. Once his oldest stepson found out the truth, and that he was the last one to know, he might decide to take it all back.

Jamie, on the other hand, had just rolled his eyes at his brother name calling. Had he not been privy to the real topic, he might have started a verbal battle with his brother, but he knew this conversation was too important.

Amanda saw the resolve in her youngest and decided to take over the conversation. "Phillip, Sweetheart, Lee becoming a part of the family is what this is about, but it’s not what you think. You see…Lee and I…last year, when we were in California…" Not quite able to get the words out, she looked towards Lee for help.

"Your Mom and I were on our honeymoon," Lee finished for her.

Phillip’s eyes traveled from his mom, to Lee, and then, settled on Jamie. The fact that his younger brother didn’t seem at all surprised by this news bothered him more than the fact that his mom and Lee had been secretly married for a year. "Jamie, did you know about this?"

Jamie nodded. "Lee kind of told me last night." Pushing his glasses up, he stared defiantly at his older brother. "Now, don’t go getting all mad. Remember, it was you who wanted to play ‘ladies’ man’ and go to the movies. If you hadn’t, you might have found out last night, too."

Phillip, who was about to protest, knew that Jamie was right, and rather than start an argument, just shrugged. "Whatever." Turning, he looked directly at his mom. "Why did you keep it a secret?" he asked, his voice sounding more hurt than angry. "I thought Lee was a great guy from the minute we met him. Why didn’t you tell us from the start that you were married? I would have been happy for you, Mom, knowing that you were marrying someone who so obviously makes you happy."

Amanda took Phillip’s hands in her own, and moved to sit between her two boys. "Lee and I had a very good reason for keeping the truth from you. Part of it had to do with the fact that you didn’t really know Lee very well."

"And I wanted to get to know you boys, and I wanted you to really get to know me, before I became a full-time part of this family," Lee explained. Standing, he began to pace the floor. After only one or two steps, he stopped and moved to sit on the portion of the coffee table Amanda had just vacated. "However, the real reason we hid the truth from you, and everyone else, was because of our jobs."

"You guys are film makers. Why would anyone knowing that you were married to each other be a problem? Is it because you’re Mom’s boss?" Phillip looked at Lee as he asked his question.

Lee laughed lightly. "I’m not really your Mom’s boss, Phillip. We’re partners, and I only have seniority over her at the office because I’ve been doing what we do for more years than she has."

"Phillip, Lee and I aren’t really film makers, either. You know how we told you that the company we work for, works with the government?" She watched as her oldest son nodded. Looking up at her husband for a brief reassurance, she, then, closed her eyes and took a deep breath. When she opened them, she saw Lee smile, giving her the support she needed to continue, "Well, that’s not really the whole truth."

"We actually work for a place called the Agency, and we’re intelligence operatives," Lee finished.

"Intelligence operatives? I’ve heard that term used on TV, on Mission Impossible, I think" He paused and looked at the television set and it suddenly clicked. "You mean spies, like in the movies?" Phillip asked, his voice now holding a bit of enthusiasm. Turning, he looked at his mom. "You mean, you do stuff like Sabrina Duncan, you know from Charlie’s Angels? I know she was a detective and all, but they did a lot of undercover work." No longer thinking about the fact that his brother didn’t seem a bit fazed by this news, either, he was overcome with excitement. "Man, I can’t wait to tell my friends at school that my mom’s a spy."

Amanda rolled her eyes and took a deep breath. She was about to explain to both boys that it was extremely important that they keep this information to themselves, but her youngest son didn’t give her a chance.

"No, Dork Brain. Charlie’s Angels and Mission Impossible are just TV shows. If too many people know what Mom and Lee do, that could put us, as well as them, in a lot of danger. What Mom and Lee do is real, and it’s really dangerous," Jamie jumped in. Hearing himself say the word dangerous, however, made him realize just how easily he could lose his mom. That idea suddenly scared him. "Mom," his voice was quiet. "You’re careful, right?"

Lee sensing the sudden change in Jamie’s mood, put his hand on the boy’s knee and tried his best to calm his fears. "Your mom and I are always careful, and we’re partners. We watch out for each other. I won’t lie to you, our jobs can be very dangerous at times, but we do what we can to make sure that nothing bad happens to the other."

Amanda let go of her son’s hands, and wrapped an arm around each boy. "That’s right, fellas. Lee and I don’t want to lose each other, nor do we want to lose you. Right now, only you boys, your grandmother, and your father know the truth. Let’s not go bragging about our ‘cool’ jobs because what we do, isn’t ‘cool.’" She moved her hand up and tousled Phillip’s hair. "We’re trying to make the world a safer place for you boys to grow up in."

"That’s right. We love you two, and would never want anything bad to happen to either of you. That’s why we kept the marriage a secret." Lee looked from Jamie, to Phillip, before continuing. "In this business, you can make many enemies, and enemies like revenge. We did what we did to keep you boys from being used as bait to get to me, or your mom."

"We realized, recently, that being a family is the most important thing, and decided that it was time you boys knew the truth." Amanda pulled both boys to her. "We’re sorry…" A few tears came to her eyes. "So sorry that we hid the truth from you. Can you forgive us?"

Jamie leaned over and kissed his mom’s cheek. "I love you, Mom, and I know that what you did, you felt you had to do."

Phillip, listening to his brother, realized that even if he couldn’t share the news with his friends, he could still share the "coolness" of it all with his brother. "Yeah, Mom," he said, leaning over and kissing her other cheek. "It’ll be all right." Rising, he stood in front of Lee. "I guess I can forgive you for telling Jamie first, and not waiting to tell us together…on one condition."

Lee raised his eyebrow curiously. "What’s that, Phillip?" he asked.

"Promise me I won’t be the last to know if there are any more family secrets that need to be revealed."

Lee laughed, and then looked toward Jamie, and winked. "I promise to do my best."

Phillip laughed, too, and extended his hand to his stepfather. "In that case, welcome to the family, Lee." As Lee accepted the outstretched hand, Phillip asked, "So, Lee, when are you moving in?"

*************************

Smiling at the memory, he moved his gaze away from the court and over to another picnic table not far from where Amanda and Dotty were setting up lunch. Jamie and Caitlin sat there, busily looking over some book or another. Lee remembered the long talk he had had with Tom Walsh, the night they had returned Caitlin’s notebook.

He had explained to Tom that he, too, was a federal agent. Tom had been a bit worried about that fact, seeing as that was exactly what he did, and what had, in his opinion, resulted in his wife’s death. Lee, however, had done his best to convince Caitlin’s father that he understood the fears Tom might have. Lee had gone so far as to share some of his own fears about losing his family. That part had been the toughest; it had been hard enough sharing his feelings with Jamie, but it was even harder to share them with a total stranger. He’d kept telling himself that he was doing this for Jamie, and that made it a bit easier.

In the end, Tom had relented and agreed that his daughter would be quite safe in Lee’s company. Jamie couldn’t have been happier the night he and Amanda had "chaperoned" Caitlin and him at the movies; and now, Caitlin constantly joined in on many of the King/Stetson family weekend activities, such as today’s picnic.

When Jamie had first told him about Tom’s overprotective nature towards Caitlin, Lee had seen it as an opportunity to build a bond with his youngest stepson. He had never thought about Tom’s side of the situation. Thinking back on it now, Lee’s promise to Tom to keep a close eye on his daughter and not let anything happen to her, wasn’t far from the way he felt about Phillip and Jamie.

Being a part of a family had made him realize the importance of keeping loved ones safe. Heck, Amanda had taught him that, even before they were married. It’s what had made him more cautious in the field. He realized that the first time he had started worrying about himself being in danger was when he had started to realize his true feelings for Amanda. That had been shortly after Leslie, and he realized, then, that he wasn’t as eager to jump up and accept just any assignment. Truth was, he had wanted to take assignments that Amanda could join him on, not that he liked the idea of putting her in harm’s way.

It had been three months since they had come clean about their marriage. This picnic had actually been Dotty’s idea. It seemed that she had finally started to rejoin the family. Once Amanda had told Dotty the truth, Dotty had begun to go out more at night when Lee and/or Amanda were home, usually practicing her flying lessons with Captain Kurt, or meeting up with a friend or two. She had continued to do things with the boys, but she had been giving Lee and Amanda a bit of a cold shoulder. Lee usually got more of the brusque behavior than Amanda. He didn’t mind it, too much. He preferred to bear the brunt of Dotty’s resentment. He never would have been able to live with himself, if Dotty had taken out all of her hurt on Amanda.

Lee cringed as he remembered some of her comments when he’d call to say that they would be working late, "At least, now, I know you two are working, rather than in the editing room or doing who knows what." It wasn’t exactly what she said that made him feel guilty, but rather the way she said it. Her words seemed to have a bit of an edge to them; in fact, her tone was almost that of a mother admonishing a child. Amanda had explained to him that it was her way of telling him that she still loved and accepted him as a part of the family, but wasn’t quite ready to forgive him. That had made him feel somewhat better, but he still tended to walk on eggshells around her and went out of his way to do subtle, but nice things for his mother-in-law.

Both he and Amanda had made every effort to invite Dotty to join them when they went on family outings, even though they were pretty sure she would turn them down. They both felt that, one of these times, she would be ready to say, "yes." When one of them would ask if she was sure she couldn’t go with them, she would respond that, indeed, she was, and that she was simply giving them some time and space to become a family, and a true married couple.

They had accepted her excuses, but both Amanda and Lee understood that she was really giving herself time to heal. It was only recently, during the past week or so, that Dotty had started to become a more active part of the family again, and for once, things seemed to be falling back into place.

Knowing that telling the family had been their first priority, and once the boys had started after him to move in, they realized that they had to tell the Agency. After all, he had to legally change his address, at least with work, so that they could find him in an emergency, especially if it was a late night emergency. Wanting to get it over with, sooner, rather than later, they had arranged a meeting with Billy for the Monday morning following the family confessions.

Billy had been a little hurt, not quite as hurt as Dotty, but hurt just the same.

*************************

"Did I hear you correctly?" Billy Melrose asked as he looked from one agent to the other. "Did you say you’re married?"

Lee could only nod. "Yes, Sir." Amanda replied. "We’re sorry we kept it from you for so long…"

"Let me guess, this all happened back when you were taking your not-so-separate vacations to California, right?" their boss speculated as he gazed in Lee’s direction.

Rising, Lee moved to stand by the Bullpen window. Looking at his wife, he gathered strength from her reassuring smile. "Billy, we’re sorry we didn’t tell you sooner. We felt that it would better this way. We wanted to do what was best for Amanda’s family. After the whole Khai situation, we decided to keep everyone in the dark, for their protection."

Billy leaned back in his chair and sighed. He had always thought of Lee as something close to a son. He knew that putting him together with Amanda King was the best thing for Lee, but Billy had hoped that he would have been informed about such a big step in the man’s life. "You could have told me, you know."

Lee and Amanda could hear the hurt in his voice. "Sir, it took us a year to realize what a big mistake we’d made in not telling you or our family. I guess we figured if we told even you, you might be obliged to let Dr. Smyth and everyone know," Amanda replied in a voice full of emotion.

Billy saw the sorrow in her eyes. He stood from his chair and walked around to the front of his desk. Leaning against it, he gazed toward Lee. "Lee, don’t you realize I’ve been a big proponent of the two of you getting together. How many times have I put little hints out there? Heck, I even told you two during the Kalahari list fiasco that whatever your relationship was, it was fine with me."

"Billy, perhaps it was a big mistake leaving everyone in the dark, but it gave us the time…well, gave me time to really become a part of Amanda’s family. It’s been tough, but in the end, I think it’s made us realize that we really can endure anything."

"I really wish you would’ve told me, sooner," Billy mumbled, more to himself than to the two agents in the room. Standing, he walked over to Amanda. Taking her hand, he invited her to rise. When she was on her feet, he embraced her. "Congratulations. I couldn’t have asked for a better match for that young man. I’m very happy for you both."

Amanda returned the hug. "Really, Sir? You’re not mad at us?"

Billy released her, and shook his head. "I’m not mad. I’m a little hurt, but I understand your reasoning. This business is tough enough as it is, and it’s nice to have someone in your life to share it with. I’m glad you finally decided to come clean." A new question suddenly formed in his mind. Leaning back against the desk, he asked, "What made you two decide to come clean now, anyway?"

During the exchange, Lee had walked from the window, over to Billy’s desk. "It was my idea."

Billy turned to look at the man Amanda King had gotten to settle down and become part of her family. "Now, my interest is really piqued," he commented, raising an eyebrow.

Amanda sat back down in her chair, and watched as Lee sat in the chair next to hers.

"I started having these nightmares." Lee began. Fidgeting in his chair, he took a deep breath. He wasn’t looking forward to dwelling back on the reason that had started all the confessions. Amanda, sensing his discomfort, reached over and put a comforting hand on his arm. A small smile came to his lips, but quickly faded as he continued. "In them, Amanda was shot and killed. The nightmares got worse and worse after Christmas, and I began to realize that it was my subconscious telling me it was time to end the charade."

"I thought there was something bothering you. For the last month, you looked like you weren’t getting enough sleep. That sure explains a lot," Billy commented.

"Once he finally told me what was bothering him, we decided it was time to tell the family. After that, we could tell you, and get it out into the open. We wanted to start living like a real married couple."

"I’m glad you two finally came to your senses." Billy smiled as he looked from Amanda to the peaceful look on Lee’s face. Telling the truth always made him feel better, and he could only imagine how content Lee must be now that this secret was out.

"Sir, what’s going to happen to us now?" Amanda asked. Her voice held a hint of disappointment. She was sure that this would be the end of their partnership.

Lee put is hand over hers, where it still rested on his arm.

"Don’t worry, Amanda. I’ll talk to him. I know it’s against all the rules, but your partnership, from the start broke all the rules. I don’t care what it takes, but I’ll make sure that he doesn’t separate one of my best teams."

*************************

It wasn’t common practice for husbands and wives to be partners, but since Lee and Amanda had such an exemplary track record, Billy had been true to his word, and had gone to bat for them with Dr. Smyth. Dr. Smyth had made his usual nursery rhyme mumbo-jumbo speech, but in the end, he had told Billy that if they kept their married lives at home and came to work as professionals, he wouldn’t separate them.

Lee knew it would be hard to keep his hands to himself, but for the sake of their jobs, he would do his best. They would still lock the Q-Bureau door and sneak into the vault for some long kisses, especially if they had been having a really bad day and they just needed to be close to each other.

Although, once or twice, Francine had almost caught them when she had unlocked the door. On those occasions, she had found the two of them with that sheepish look that indicated that they had been caught doing something other than work. She had rolled her eyes and told them that they should start putting scarves on the door when they didn’t want to be disturbed. Her comments were accepted without rebuttal. It was their way of apologizing for not telling her their secret any earlier. They had told her the day after they had told Billy, and they were both surprised at how well she had taken the news. Lee remembered the day he had seen her leaving the park and suspected that that had prepared her for their confession.

A few days after they had told her, when she thought Lee was out of earshot, Francine had apologized to Amanda for trying to warn her about Lee. "I guess Lee isn’t the same man I dated. Looks like he was finally ready to settle down. I guess it just took the right woman. Congratulations." She had then hugged Amanda. Lee had been lurking outside the office door, feeling a little guilty for ‘spying,’ but he was glad his friend was happy for them.

It took about two days for the news to reach the rumor mills. There were apparently quite a few broken hearts in the steno pool, despite the fact that it had been over two years since Lee had even thought about finding himself a new "flavor of the week." His reputation had carried on through the years, but now, his name wouldn’t be the only one talked about around the "water coolers." Amanda, and how she had managed to catch the "great Scarecrow," would also become a hot topic of discussion. A rumble came to his chest at that thought. Truth be told, it was really the "great Scarecrow" who had been the one lucky enough to catch the amazing housewife-turned-spy.

Shaking himself out of his reverie, Lee looked at Phillip, and then at Jamie, and realized that coming clean had been the best thing that they had ever done— next to actually getting married. He began to realize that he really enjoyed being a stepfather to Amanda’s boys. The same morning they had told the truth to the boys, he had also explained that he had no intention of trying to replace their dad, but just wanted to be the best stepfather he could be. He wanted to be someone they could confide in, someone to ask advise on things like girls, or who could help them with their homework, and he had promised to always do his best to be there for them. Both Jamie and Phillip appreciated that, and loved the idea of having another male in the house. They figured that it might just help them win certain battles with their mom and grandma. Something told him that life in the King household would never be dull.

Joe and Lee had even seemed to agree on a sort of middle ground, to the point where they even attempted to do things together with the boys, while Amanda and Carrie did some bonding of their own. However, Lee had no intention of making a habit of going places with both the boys and Joe. Once in a while was enough for him. Lee had to admit that Joe was an all right guy, but he tried too hard to be the boys’ friend, rather than their father, and it just seemed to rub Lee the wrong way. It was almost like Joe was trying to make up for all the years of not being around by buying things for the boys. He remembered the Oriole’s game that the four of them had attended about two weeks earlier. Joe kept offering to buy the boys O’s memorabilia. They had jumped at the offer of baseball caps, but didn’t really feel the need for anything else, and kept trying to tell their dad, nicely, that they really did not want any of the other stuff.

Lee finally had to pull Joe aside and reason with him. Lee had very nicely tried to make his wife’s ex realize that the boys didn’t want anything more from him than his time and attention. They loved him for who he was, not for the things he could buy for them. After one or two more "no thank yous" from Phillip and Jamie, Joe finally took the hint.

That had been the first of many incidents that had given him insight into why it wasn’t the best idea for Joe and him, together, to take the boys anywhere on a regular basis. They both tried too hard to please the boys, rather than actually thinking of their welfare. Lee figured that they would both do better on common ground, and Lee had decided to stick to barbecues in the backyard as bonding sessions for both Joe and him, with the boys. Lee had told Amanda, when she had thanked him for trying so hard to get along with Joe, that, although it was difficult at times, he was doing it for Phillip and Jamie. It was important that the boys see their "dads" getting along, so that they didn’t feel they had to favor one parent over the other.

Hearing his stomach grumble, Lee began to wonder just how much longer it would be until lunch was going to be ready. With the idea of food on his mind, Lee thought back to last night’s dinner with Billy, Jeannie, Francine, and her new beau, Jack something-or-other. It had been nice to have dinner with their friends without having to hide their relationship. After they had finished the main meal, Jeannie, Francine, and Amanda had excused themselves and headed off to the ladies’ room. They had gone to "girl talk" about Jack, who was an all right guy, but aside from his looks, and obvious infatuation with Francine, he wasn’t what Lee would call "Francine’s type."

No sooner had the ladies left, then Jack rose from the table and stepped outside to have a smoke. That was what had caused Lee and Billy to wonder why Francine was with a guy like Jack. Not that there was anything wrong with being a smoker, but they couldn’t figure out how Francine could stand to be with someone whose nicotine addiction could cause her clothes to smell like stale cigarette smoke. It just didn’t seem to make sense. Despite his habits, Francine seemed to be happy, and that was all that mattered right now. After the whole Jonathan mess, it was nice to see his closest friend getting back into her usual routine, and eventually, Lee knew, Francine would find someone she could settle down with.

Knowing that the ladies would be away from the table for a bit, Billy had looked intently at Lee and smiled. When Lee had asked what was on his friend’s mind, Billy had commented, "You seem happier than you have in months. I guess the nightmares are gone?" Lee had replied that they were and that it was nice not to have to lie about everything anymore. Truth was, he hadn’t had a nightmare in two months. The nightmare had recurred once during the first month after he had moved into the house on Maplewood, but it was only because Amanda had been in jeopardy during a particularly dangerous case that they had been working on. Having Amanda lying next to him, when he had awakened, had helped to chase the demons away. He had cuddled closer to his wife and fallen back to sleep easily, knowing that Amanda was still by his side, and that she wasn’t going anywhere, for a long, long time.

Lee woke from his reverie when he heard his wife calling Jamie and Caitlin over, and Dotty yelling for Phillip that lunch was ready. Standing up and stretching his arms to get the kinks out, he moved away from the picnic table and headed over to join his family. Yes, the nightmares were gone and had been replaced by the joys of publicly belonging to a family: having a mother-in-law and sons who loved him, and most importantly—waking up each morning with Amanda in his arms.

The End