"What a pile of ______" (you get to fill in the blank) by Friday Challenge
Summary: November 16, 2007 Challenge Line
Categories: Scarecrow and Mrs. King Characters: Amanda King, Lee Stetson
Genres: Fluff
Warnings: None
Challenges: None
Series: None
Chapters: 11 Completed: Yes Word count: 3110 Read: 78619 Published: 13/12/08 Updated: 13/12/08
Story Notes:
Instructions: You must use the above line of dialogue in your story. Don't
forget your submission can be any length - from one line to a full-length story
- and it can be SMK, B5 or anything else as long as it has a link to either SMK
or B5.

1. Chapter 1 - Monica by Friday Challenge

2. Chapter 2 - Jenn by Friday Challenge

3. Chapter 3 - Lisa by Friday Challenge

4. Amanda's Pandora's Box - The Yank and the Brit by Friday Challenge

5. Chapter 5 - Annette by Friday Challenge

6. Chapter 6 - Patti by Friday Challenge

7. Chapter 7 - Sue by Friday Challenge

8. Chapter 8 - Julie T by Friday Challenge

9. Chapter 9 - Julie T by Friday Challenge

10. Chapter 10 - Wendi by Friday Challenge

11. Chapter 11 - Wendi by Friday Challenge

Chapter 1 - Monica by Friday Challenge
The door to the office of Billy Melrose was closed but not even that could muffle the angry shout that made its way out of his lungs.

"What a pile of crap!" he said looking at the many photos found by his agents at the Romantic Dreams Inn.

"I know they are fakes, but imagine how Dr. Smyth and after all The Agency would have looked if those were made public!

I would have understood if the Russians, or other enemies were behind this, but to find the scumbag in our backyard!

We must whip it clean!

Francine do you still have the feather duster Lee gave you after the 'Burling brothers' case?"

The sharp look in the blue eyes of the now melting ice queen made all laugh, and Francine took Tony's hand and left the office in a huff!
Chapter 2 - Jenn by Friday Challenge
"What a pile of shit..." Lee complained staring at
the loaner car that Leatherneck was offering him.

"Sorry, it's the best I have right now."
Leatherneck explained. "The only other vehicle
available is that purple hatchback that Mrs. King used
awhile back. Would you rather have that?"

Remembering that eyesore, Lee decided that the
brown sedan probably wasn't so bad after all. "Oh all
right, just give me the keys." Lee demanded. "And get
the 'vette fixed as soon as possible." he pleaded.

"Well, if you would stop getting shot at, maybe we
wouldn't have this discussion so often." Leatherneck
reminded him.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever." Lee conceded as he
got into the ugly brown car.
Chapter 3 - Lisa by Friday Challenge
The air was cool and crisp, Lee took a deep breath then started his
run, diving forward he soon was hidden from site.

What a pile of leaves, he hadn't done that since he was a child, and
jumping in the leaves with Amanda, Phillip and Jamie was even more fun
that he remembered.
Amanda's Pandora's Box - The Yank and the Brit by Friday Challenge
Dotty stepped into the attic and immediately sneezed. "Damn,
I always forget to bring a cloth with me to cover my nose. This has
to be the dustiest room in the entire house." Looking around at all
the boxes of memorabilia and various other items, including one
marked old clothes, she shook her head. "One of these days, I need
to tie my daughter down and the two of us need to go through all
this stuff and get rid of some of this junk."

However, Dotty wasn't rushed, though a little one-on-one
time with her daughter would be nice. Ever since Amanda had brought
Lee home at Christmas, and the two had admitted they were dating,
her daughter's spare time was extremely limited. What time she
didn't spend with the boys, or working, she spent with Lee Stetson.
But Amanda's happiness was worth the limited time shared with her

The first time she had met Lee Stetson, Dotty had known that
the man was much more than a boss to her daughter. She remembered
being slightly embarrassed, later, having called him the termite
man, only to find out he was the elusive Mr. Stetson. And when
Amanda had finally come clean that she was dating Lee, Dotty had
wanted to shout from the roof tops that she had known all along, but
she had kept her mouth shut. She had even told Andrei Zernov, that
nice Russian scientist who had gotten mixed up with some very bad
government men, that she thought her daughter was involved with
someone at work. What other explanation could there have been for
Amanda's break up with Dean.

Sneezing again, Dotty decided that her walk down memory lane
was over. She needed to find what she came up here for and get back
downstairs. "Now what did I come up here for? Oh that's right,
Jamie needed one of Amanda's old books for his book report." Her
youngest grandson had been given an assignment to write a report on
one of their parents' favorite childhood books, and for some reason
he didn't want to do it on Sky Chief Rides Again. "Now where did
Amanda say it was?" Snapping her fingers, she remembered. Amanda
had told her that her old boxes were back in the corner, next to the
Christmas decorations.

Dotty maneuvered her way over, covering her nose and mouth
as best she could with her arm as she navigated around the
assortment of boxes. Reaching the corner, she saw three boxes
marked `Amanda's stuff'. One of these had to be the right one.
Choosing the one on top, she sat down on the Rubbermaid container
beside her, and placed it on the floor. As she opened the flap,
and saw the first item, she felt she'd struck gold on the first
try. There on top was a copy of that awful play Amanda had been
last year, `Parisian Intrigue.' Well if the script was in here then
this box had to contain other books.

Removing the script, Dotty placed it on a closed box beside
her and then, looking back inside the open box in front her, her
brow furrowed in confusion. She picked up the device that was
clearly not a book and sneezed again. "Now what is this old
hairdryer doing up here, and what the devil is all this white stuff
on it." Suddenly she began to have serious doubts that this box
held anymore books. Peering back inside the box, her suspicions
were confirmed as she took a look at the assortment of colors and
edges of items she couldn't quite make out peeking back at
her. "What a pile of old rubbish."

Dotty was about to put the hairdryer back in and shut the
box, when she looked closer at the pink article now lying on top.
It looked vaguely familiar. Putting the hairdryer on the box next
to her where the script now lay, she wrapped her fingers around the
pink cotton fabric and removed it from the box. She had been
right; it was familiar, very familiar in fact. It was Amanda's
favorite sweater, or had been up until about a year ago, when she'd
suddenly stopped wearing it. She remembered briefly wanting to ask
Amanda what had happened to it, but every time she had gotten the
chance, something had come up and her daughter would dash off before
she could get the question out. "What on Earth is it doing up

Examining the sweater closer, Dotty noticed a small hole in
the side. It didn't look like something that could easily be fixed,
so why was it in this box and not in the trash? The shape of the
hole was a perfect circle, almost as if it had been burned by a
cigarette. But her daughter didn't smoke, and as far as she knew,
Amanda didn't have any friends who did, either. Though a co-worker
of hers could have gotten a little too close and accidentally
destroyed the sweater. Bringing it up to her nose, she sniffed.
There was no trace of cigarette left behind. "Clearly not a burn. I
wonder what could have made a hole like that." Shrugging, she put
it next to the hairdryer and, now that her curiosity was in high
gear, she glanced back into the box to see what other oddities were

The next item looked like an antique music box. Pulling it
out, she opened the lid and, expecting to hear sweet music, was
greatly disappointed to find that it didn't work at all. `Funny,'
she mused silently. The small wooden box reminded her of another
box that one of her grandson's had admitted to breaking. Apparently
it was supposed to be a gift for Aunt Minnie, but because they had
gotten curious, it had never actually made it to Maine.

Placing the old box beside the other items, Dotty shook her
head in bewilderment. "Why on Earth would Amanda want to keep a
hairdryer covered in white powder-looking stuff, a broken music box
and a damaged sweater?" So far all the items she pulled out, looked
like they belonged in a garbage heap, with the exception of the
script, and even that was debatable.

Peering back inside the box, the next item made Dotty really
scrunch up her face in confusion. It had to be the ugliest stuffed
duck she'd ever seen. Removing it from the box, she saw it had one
of those pull strings. Throwing caution to the wind, she pulled on
the little hoop. `Success comes one step at a time,' it quacked
out. Now she was very confused. At first glance she thought that
maybe it had been a prize she or Joe, or even Dean might have won at
a carnival. Now she wasn't sure at all. Carnival animals didn't
usually talk and if they did, the certainly didn't give career
advice. "Hmm... maybe Amanda went to a career fair or one of those
personal improvement seminars and this was a give away." Though, as
she put it with the other items, she couldn't help but thinking that
it was a very strange type of give away.

Dotty glanced back into the box and her gaze fell on a bit
of gray cloth. Removing it, she discovered that it was a maid's
uniform. When was Amanda ever a maid? She knew her daughter had
volunteered at the hospital as a Bedside Bluebell, but a maid? Then
again, her daughter did have some strange jobs there for awhile,
what with that plant watering and pet sitting business, so maybe one
of her customers had needed their house cleaned too. "Well if
that's the case, why wouldn't this be hanging in her closet?"
Shrugging again, she chuckled. With all this shrugging, her
shoulders were getting a good work out.

Dotty piled the uniform on top of the sweater and glancing
back into the box, saw two last items. One of which, confirmed her
suspicions that the uniform had to be related to that pet-plant
business. It was a box of fish food. Picking it up, she examined
it closer. "This looks like it's for some kind of exotic fish." She
shook her head. Her daughter really had some strange clients. She
chuckled to herself as she remembered that one blonde with the
chimpanzee. Who in their right mind would want a chimp? Especially
someone as well-groomed as that Ms Diamond was it? Despot? Putting
the fish food with all the other items she'd already uncovered, she
reached in and pulled out the last item.

"Now this belongs on display." In her hand she held an
autographed football. "The boys would love to see this. " Then,
noticing the inscription `To a heck of a good reporter, best wishes,
Sandy Newcome,' Dotty was once again stumped. Reporter? As far as
she knew her daughter had never worked for a newspaper. Then,
remembering the script and the fact that Amanda had told her that
she'd auditioned for the play because it was similar to one she'd
been in college, she began to wonder. "Perhaps Amanda got this while
she was in college." If memory served her correctly, she was pretty
sure her daughter had worked on the school paper for awhile.
Perhaps she'd had to interview one of the college football players.

Well the football and the script were going downstairs to be
put on the bookshelves in the den. And not just anywhere, they were
going to go right in plain sight so that when Amanda asked what they
were doing there, then Dotty could find the perfect opening to ask
about everything in the box. Putting the football on her other side
next to the script, she reached down to start placing the other
items she considered more junk than anything else, back in the
box. "I'm very curious to know why Amanda's kept all of this

"Mother? Are you up here?" Amanda stepped into the attic
and stopped. There on the box next to her mother was a pile of
items she'd secretly gathered from various cases she'd been on long
before she and Lee had admitted their feelings for each other, but
held strange sentimental value to her. She'd almost forgotten about
the stupid duck that had brainwashed Lee into killing Mr. Melrose,
and the fish food she'd snuck out of Lee's apartment after she'd
been kidnapped by Russians thinking she was the mighty Scarecrow.
There was the hairdryer from the Retzig fiasco and the football.
She'd kept that as a souvenir of the first time Lee had kissed her.

Dotty turned to see the object of her musings standing in
the doorway looking for all the world like she'd just seen a
ghost. "Amanda, just the person I was hoping to see." She motioned
towards the items next to her. "I'm dying to know what all of this
is doing up here."

If only her mother knew about the Agency, it would make
everything so much easier. "Um, Mother, I can explain…" Though, as
she moved towards her mother, she realized that she didn't have the
foggiest idea how.

The End
Chapter 5 - Annette by Friday Challenge
Amanda got out of bed early on Saturday and dressed in an old t-shirt
and jogging pants. "Might as well get a head start on my cleaning" she
thought to herself while putting her hair in a ponytail. With her Mother
gone all week to visit her sister and the heavy workload Lee and she had,
there wasn't much time for household chores.

After having a quick cup of coffee and a bagel, she decided to head for
the laundry room. "What a pile of clothes" she said shaking her head.
"I think it's time to have a talk with my boys about changing their
outfits two and three times a day. Maybe I should make them do their
own laundry, then they won't be that eager to change so much." She threw
a load in the machine then grabbed the furniture polish and cloth and headed
for the den. It was going to be a very busy day.
Chapter 6 - Patti by Friday Challenge
Having coiffed his customer's hair to perfection, Mr. Emilio spun her
seat to face him. "What a pile of gorgeous curls. No, Mrs. West?"

"Yes, Mr. Emilio, it looks simply marvelous."

Mr. Emilio watched Dotty West reach for her pocketbook in hopes that it
would be a hefty tip.
Chapter 7 - Sue by Friday Challenge

The day turn out perfect. Not to hot or humid. Sunny skies, a warm breeze
and all their friends and family gathered to help them share this very special

The stupid mystery marriage lasted all of six months before they figured out
that Amanda's family wouldn't be any safer with him living across town.

Dotty outdid herself planning a beautiful ceremony followed by a spectacular
reception in the park.

Now, with the onset of evening the guests began to leave. Wishing the happy
couple a happy life once more before they departed.

Lee grabbed his wife around the waist and tugged her back out to the dance
floor for one final waltz before heading to the Crystal Springs Inn for the

A tap on his shoulder had him turning around and meeting the gaze of his
oldest stepson.

"What a pile of gifts," Philip pointed to the stack of the gaily wrapped
boxes on the corner table. "Do you think we'll be able to get them all in the

Lee looked at the table, then the car, then back to the table. "Hey, Billy,
can you stick around a little longer? We're going to need some help getting
all this home."

Chapter 8 - Julie T by Friday Challenge
Lee and Amanda exchanged a knowing glance at one another. "Hey, I've
got it this time", Lee said. He got up from the couch where they were
sitting and picked up the small bundle from the playpen. Lee lovingly
carried her upstairs to her room and made a beeline for the changing
table. He carefully removed her soiled diaper, holding his breath all
the while, and opened the diaper pail to discard it. Suddenly he
exclaimed, "What a pile of dirty diapers in here!" He looked over at
Amanda who was, by this time, standing in the doorway and asked "How
can one tiny human being go through THAT many diapers??"

I think I will call that one "Duty in the Diapers" LOL!

Chapter 9 - Julie T by Friday Challenge
Lee and Amanda were speeding down the beltway when traffic suddenly
began coming to a stop. "Leeeeee, I told you NOT to take the
beltway!!!", Amanda admonished. "Honey, I thought it would be the
fastest way--I'm sorry!", Lee replied. "Dammit, what a pile of cars
ahead of us...", Lee lamented seeing car upon car stacked in front of
them in the stop and go, mostly stop, traffic. Amanda
exclaimed, "Lee this baby is coming--hurry up!!!!"

"NOOOOO, Amanda NOT in the 'Vette!!" Lee said forcefully. To which
Amanda sarcastically replied, "Well, Lee, I can't very well stop it,
so what do you want me to do? Get out and have her in the middle of
the road???" Lee seemed to contemplate that idea for a moment, and
Amanda scolded him for it, "Now really, Lee, you don't want your
daughter born in the middle of the beltway do you?" Lee stared at
her like a deer in headlights, then jerked the 'Vette over onto the
shoulder of the beltway and floored it. "Hold on, Amanda, we'll make
it. I know we will--we HAVE to!", Lee yelled as he sped towards the
next exit.
Chapter 10 - Wendi by Friday Challenge
"What a pile of horse manure! You have got to be joking?"

"Oh no, no joking here. Here is the shovel and there is the wheelbarrow."

"You want me to move this pile of...crap over there."

"Yes, that is what happens to the "crap" after it gets cleaned out of the stalls, it forms a pile which must be moved every so often for composting."

"And you want me to do it all by myself? You just use the tractor."

"Yes, yes I do, Phillip but I was not the one who stayed out passed curfew and got grounded now am I? So maybe next time you will be home on time?"

While Lee walked away he could hear Phillip under he breath, "That is the last time I listen to Tommy, you can't get any thing passed my parents."
Chapter 11 - Wendi by Friday Challenge
"Hello Amanda. How are...Amanda what a pile of...well, what is it exactly?"

"Oh, Francine please, it is for the junior trailblazers and when Lee called me in here I was working on it and didn't have time to finish so I brought it in with me. The
boys need it for their meeting tonight now if you don't mind."
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