Another Fine Mess You've Gotten Yourself Into


Galilee General Hospital

1:30 AM

The doors to the emergency room burst open. White coated paramedics
wheeled in an unconscious figure whose face was covered by an oxygen
mask-a man? A woman? Lee really couldn't tell. He heard words like
`been shot', `blood', and `surgery, stat' and watched as the guy was
wheeled through another pair of swinging doors.

Dear God, how he really hated these places, Lee thought. He shifted
around in the slippery orange plastic seat, desperately trying to get
comfortable and failing.

"Well I told my brother that the motorcycle was too much for him to
handle," the young woman sitting across from Lee was telling the
police officer. She was brushing tears from her eyes. "But he wouldn't
listen to me-and now this." The police officer simply nodded and
scribbled into his notebook. Lee turned his attention from that and
onto the talk show on the nearby television, where some woman was
about to throw a chair at another woman for `sleeping with her man'.
Why did they always show this garbage at this time of night?

The nurse up at the front desk looked like she was half-asleep.
Should he bug her again? Lee wondered. Probably not a good idea,
considering that her last words had been `don't make me call security,
Mr. Stetson.'. Lee sighed, resting his elbows on his knees and running
his hands back through his hair as visions of what had happened played
through his head:

~~~~~
The sound of a high-pitched shriek, followed by a thud that seemed to
shake the house…

Going into Jenna's room, seeing the open window, the curtains flapping
in the wind. The rain outside left small drops and puddles on the
window-seat…

Running outside, calling Jenna's name over and over- not caring at all
about the rain that soaked his clothing and muddied his feet…

There had been a flash of lightning at that point-bright enough to
make the night seem like day-that was the point that Lee had seen
Jenna's body, lying motionless underneath the tree. Her right leg had
been twisted at an odd angle and there was blood on her forehead. The
first-aid he'd been taught had always said not to move an injured
person, but with the storm raging outside Lee didn't really think he
had much of a choice. He'd lifted Jenna and she'd groaned, her eyes
opening slightly.

"I'm here, munchkin," Lee had told her. "You'll be just fine. Don't
try to talk." Jenna's eyes had closed again. Amanda had called an
ambulance and he'd taken Jenna inside to wait.
~~~~~

"I called Mother." Amanda's voice startled Lee-he looked up to see
his wife carrying two small cups of coffee. "Just to let her know what
was going on, since she was supposed to be taking Jenna to summer camp
in the morning. Also, I thought you could use this," she said, handing
him one of the cups of coffee. "It's from a machine-it's the best I
could get right now."

"Thanks," Lee said, taking a small sip of the bitter liquid.

"Have you heard anything yet?" Amanda said, sitting on the chair
beside him.

Lee laughed shortly "You're kidding, right? I really think they like
to torture you in these places-they make you wait for the news as long
as possible." Amanda took his hand in her own, squeezing gently.

"Why did she do it?" Lee said. "We told her not to, Amanda-and she
deliberately turns around and disobeys us. I can't believe this."

"Well Jenna's always been hard-headed, Lee," Amanda said. "You've said
so yourself."

"Oh she's hard-headed all right- stubborn-she's just like you," Lee said.

"Hard-headed like who?" Amanda said, raising her eyebrows. .

"Like both of us," Lee said. "I keep thinking that if I hadn't heard
that thump and gone to check on her she could've been-I don't even
want to think." He looked down at his watch. "It's been two and a
half hours, Amanda. What the hell could be taking them so long?"

"I'm sure we'll hear something soon," Amanda said, giving his hand
another squeeze. Lee let his thumb caress her fingers.

"Mr. and Mrs. Stetson?" A tall grey-haired man in a lab coat came
over to them. "I'm Dr. Carey. Jenna's going to be just fine."

"Thank God," Lee said. Dr. Carey continued.

"She has a moderate sprain to her right leg and a very mild
concussion-but because she's suffered a previous head injury we'd like
to keep her overnight and tomorrow for observation. The CT scan that
we ran showed no problems."

"How about the cut on her forehead?" Lee said.

"A scratch," Dr. Carey said. "All it needed was some antiseptic and a
band-aid. She's a very lucky girl-it could've been much much worse."

"Can we see her?" Amanda asked.

"Of course," Dr. Carey said. "She'll be in room 322."

SMK SMK SMK SMK

"So what do you suggest we do?" Amanda said as they made their way
through the maze of hospital corridors.

"I don't know," Lee said. "Ground her?"

"What would be the point?" Amanda said. "She'll already be grounded in
a sense because she hurt her leg, Lee. Jenna was looking forward to
this camp and now she won't be able to go- I really think that's
punishment enough."

"I just don't want her to pull another stunt like that again," Lee
said. "She scared me to death, Amanda. When I saw her under that
tree-I thought for one moment that she was-" he took a deep breath,
unable to say the word that he was thinking. "I just don't want it to
happen again."

"Neither do I," Amanda said. "But children do these things. I remember
the time that Philip rode on someone's handlebars down a hill and fell
off-he got his leg caught and was dragged along for about twenty
yards-scraped up his entire left side. And I once caught Jamie about
to leap down off the tree house and onto an old mattress for a dare."

"I don't remember any of that," Lee said.

"Well you wouldn't-that was before you knew us." Amanda said.

"Amanda does it ever get any easier?" Lee said. "Do your children
ever stop doing things that just about make you have a heart attack?"

"Maybe, but I haven't found out yet," Amanda said. Lee groaned.

"What should we do, then?" He said.

"Talk to her," Amanda said, pushing open the door to room 322.

SMK SMK SMK SMK

Jenna was sitting up in the bed when Lee came in. Her lower leg was
swathed in bandages and elevated on a stack of pillows. There was a
small band-aid on her head.

"Hey," Jenna said.

"Hey sweetheart," Amanda said, giving her daughter a brief hug and a
kiss. "How are you?"

"Okay," Jenna said. "But I'm worried about Oscar." She looked over at
Lee. "Did you ever find him?"

Lee took another deep breath, trying to force himself to calm down. It
didn't work. "Jenna, Oscar is just fine. We found him on the front
doorstep-at least he had the sense to stay out of the rain. Cats can
take care of themselves, didn't I say that? Didn't I tell you to stay
inside?" Jenna opened her mouth but Lee didn't give her a chance to
speak. "Whatever were you thinking?" he asked.

"I just wanted to know that he was okay," Jenna said, her voice
quavering slightly. "The weather outside was so bad-I couldn't sleep
thinking that Oscar was out there in it."

"So you decided to put yourself out in it too, right?" Lee said.
"What exactly happened?"

"Well I opened the window and climbed out onto the tree branch," Jenna
said. "I've climbed the tree before, only not from the window but from
the ground-I thought it would be okay, only it was dark and the tree
was wet. I guess I must have slipped-the last thing I remember is
screaming and falling."

"It's lucky you did scream-that's what woke us up," Lee said, his
voice rising slightly. "All you had to do was stay put-that was it.
But no, you had to disobey us."

"Lee," Amanda said. But Lee wasn't listening.

"Do you realize what might have happened, Jenna?" He said. "That you
could have died? Cats have nine lives but you have only one."

Jenna brushed tears from her face. "It wasn't like I fell on purpose,"
she said. "It just happened. I was just worried about him-I love my
cat."

"Well we love you, Jenna," Lee said, his voice softening as he walked
over and took her hands in his. "And we don't want anything to happen
to you. I wouldn't be getting this upset if I didn't care. Do you
understand?"

Jenna nodded. "I understand." She said. Lee bent over and gave her a
hug.

"I'm sorry about summer camp, munchkin," he said. "Sorry you have to
stay in this place overnight too."

"It's not so bad," Jenna said. "The Doctor was telling me about a cute
boy my age who's just across the hall-" she yawned. "Only I might be
too tired to meet him tonight-I think I might go to sleep now and meet
him tomorrow."

"Cute boy?" Lee said faintly. Suddenly he felt the need to sit down.

"Well that's fine, sweetheart," Amanda said, carefully lowering
Jenna's bed. "You get your rest and we'll talk about cute boys
tomorrow."

The End

Amanda methodically searched the classrooms to look around for her
family as well as anything suspicious. As she searched the fifth
grade wing, Amanda hoped that Lee was having better luck as he
searched the sixth grade wing. They'd agreed to meet in the gym and
search it and the cafeteria together.

During Amanda's forage for clues, she found Phillip and Stacey
standing in front of the school's trophy case.

"Hi Phillip, Stacey!"

"Hi, Mom!"

"Hi, Mrs. Stetson! Phillip just found the varsity letter from this
list!" Stacey gestured to the paper in her hand.

"That's great! Stacey, could you excuse us for a second?"

Amanda pulled Phillip to the side of the case as Stacey moved further
away to admire its contents.

"Mom?"

"Phillip? Whatever were you thinking? I expected you to stay in the
group with your brother and grandmother."

Phillip whispered sullenly. "Geez, Mom, I was thinking that I was on
a date."

"Phillip, we have guidelines about group dating until you're sixteen!
Your birthday is still several months away!"

"Aw, Mom, this group doesn't count!"

"We will discuss this later. Something has happened here that is
agency related and Lee and I have some work to do. You remember what
you learned in your Agency class, right?"

"Yes, Mom!"

"Good. Now I want you to take Stacey outside and wait there with
your brother. He is with Mr. Melrose."

"Yes, Mom."

Phillip began to escort his friend outside while Amanda continued on
with her quest. She completed her canvas of one corridor and turned
a corner to move onto another. She entered the next classroom . . .

Inside Billy Melrose's office, the two agents already there studied
the files given them by their boss.

"I think I'll take Amanda on this one Billy."

Francine's head raised fast with eyes wide open.

"Lee, what are you saying? This assignment is at the "Couples
Expectant Retreat", I don't know why Evghenni Davidov want to make
the documents exchange there, but well he said he feels safe there
among expectant mothers and happy fathers."

" Yes Francine, Lee's voice sound annoyed, but tell me who better
knows how an expectant mother should behave? Adding that to the fact
that she could tell me how a father to be, must take care of the
future mommy. I think this is the best solution."

"Well Lee, it seems that you have all figured up, go and tell
Amanda what she need to know and then take the rest of the day off,
the two of you must be there tomorrow morning, and from what it's
written here it a good four hours drive till the Retreat".

On the way to the Q, Lee was thinking that this mission was what
they need. Amanda told him last night he would be a daddy and they
need some time alone to discuss the best way to tell everybody they
were married and future parents.

After three days, Billy found Lee and Amanda waiting for him outside
his office speaking with Francine. It was something different in
their posture, he wasn't sure what until Francine's voice resound
loud over the usual bustle of the bullpen.

"Lee!!! Tell me that isn't what it looked to be!"

Billy saw too, saw was menacing to launch Francine in what seem the
mother of all the tirades, and like a good boss tried to keep it
between them, but Francine was unstoppable.

"That is a wedding band Lee, and there on Amanda's finger are the
matching one and a beautiful diamond ring. Are you two married?
Whatever were you thinking Lee? Married??? and to her !!I told you
Billy it was a bad idea sending Amanda with Lee on this."

Francine's outburst began to make Lee mad, more because he saw
Amanda's eyes tear, they were happy and he would allow no one, not
even Francine to spoil their happy day.

"Yes Francine, I..we are married, and not from today or yesterday
but eight months ago. We decided to reveal all now because I'm going
to be a dad and we wanted our friends to share our joy.
If you can't be happy with us, just leave us alone."

With these words Lee took his wife's hand and enter Billy's office
soon followed by their chief who's face shown clear signs of
happiness.

With tires squealing, Lee rounded the corner and pulled up behind the
emergency vehicles, slamming on the breaks, sending the 'Vette fish-tailing before
it came to a stop. His heart in his throat, he rushed out of the car, leaving
the engine running and raced to the closest rescuer to find out who was in
charge.

He was directed to a group of uniformed men standing by an ambulance. He
started to race to them when he heard her voice.

"Lee!" she shouted. "Over here."

He turned to find her sitting on the step of the ambulance holding an ice
pack to her head. He took a few deep breaths to try to calm his racing heart. On
legs not quite steady, he walked over to his wife and sat beside her.

"I'm all right, Lee." She reassured him.

Gently, he pulled the ice away and took a good long look and the lump on her
forehead. An ugly purple bruise bloomed across her cheek. Carefully, he
traced the edges, and then placed the cold pack back against her injury.

He placed a soft kiss on her cheek and gathered her in his arms. She rested
her head on his shoulder. They sat like that until an EMT came over to check
on her. He stepped back to give the medic more room to see to Amanda.

He paced back and forth across the back of the open vehicle.The paramedic
changed her cold pack and assured her he'd be back again to check on her once
more.

Alone once more, he stood in front of her and ran his hand through his hair.
"Whatever were you thinking?" He shouted, "you could have been hurt badly,
or even killed. How would I explain it to Phillip and Jamie. Your mother would
never forgive me. How could you do this to me, you scared at least ten years
off my life! Do you have any idea how scared I was when I got a phone call
saying you had been involved in a bus accident?"

He looked at her then., tears running down her cheeks and his tirade halted
in mid-rant. He pulled her into his arms and held her until she stopped
shaking.

"I'm sorry, Lee," she whispered into his ear. 'I didn't think. I just
reacted. That boy ran right out into the middle of the street. I had to do
something. I couldn't let him get hurt."

He stroked her back. Long, gently caresses, sweeping from shoulder to waist.
"I know. I know. You did the right thing. Come on, let me take you home."

End

Amanda stood in the doorway and gasped.

"Phillip King. Whatever where you thinking?"

He turned to face his mother. Red dye was spilt everywhere and running
down the sides of his face and neck. He bit his lip. "Donna Sue likes
guys with red hair. So I thought I'd dye mine." He stared down into
the sink.

"Well you certainly have red hair now. Bright, bright red."

"I'm sorry, mom. I'll clean up the mess."

"Yes, you will and then we'll get you in to see Mr. Emilio as soon as
possible. I just hope it can be fixed today."

Misunderstandings

Saturday, July 13, 2002

"You did it all?" Amanda said.

"Mowed the grass, pruned the bushes and did all of the weeding," Lee
said, stretching one arm as he walked back into the house. "And all
before lunchtime."

"Whatever were you thinking?" Amanda said. "It's awfully hot out
there-it's already in the mid-eighties."

"Amanda I was just fine," Lee said. "I drank plenty of water."

"That's good, but still on a day like this you must have worked up
quite a sweat, Stetson" Amanda said. "Wish I could be there with you
instead of here at this PTA Bazaar."

"Me too," Lee said, his smile widening as he thought of the
possibilities. "Still there's always this evening-we could take a bath
together-not to mention other things, Mrs. Stetson. How does that
sound?"

"Mmmm... That sounds good.I'm going to hold you to that," Amanda said.
"How's Jenna?"

"Upstairs, resting her leg and watching some old movies that Dotty
lent her," Lee said. "I was thinking that after I shower I could go
out and get her something nice for lunch-she's probably bored and sick
to death of soup and sandwiches."

"Good idea," Amanda said. "I'll be seeing you later, Lee-love you."

"I love you too," Lee said. "See you later, Amanda." He flipped the
cell phone close and put it on the counter.

SMK SMK SMK SMK

After a brief shower Lee changed into a t-shirt and pair of jeans. He
grabbed his wallet and his keys and decided to make a run over to
Jason's Deli-Jenna really loved their pasta salad and he could even
get her a fudge sundae for desert. He was about to let Jenna know he
was leaving when his daughter's voice stopped him cold in his tracks.

"Oh Lisa it was so romantic," she said. Romantic? Through his
daughter's half-open door Lee could see Jenna lying on her bed, her
leg propped up and covered with an ice pack. She was holding the
cordless phone to her ear, a smile on her lips while she was talking.

"You just wouldn't believe, Lisa," Jenna was saying. "Seriously-like
a movie or something you read in books. No I can't tell you everything
he did-it's way too embarrassing, you know?"

Everything he did? Lee thought. Everything who did? Part of him was
tempted to burst in and demand an answer-find out who this `he' was.
Instead he made his way downstairs and carefully picked up the
landline extension.

"Jenna come on-tell me already," Lisa's voice said. "You're making me
crazy."

"Okay," Jenna said. "Well I was being held prisoner up in this room-I
guess it was like a bell tower."

"Now why did I know it'd be a bell tower?" Lisa said.

"Lisa is this your story or mine?" Jenna said. "Anyway, the bad guy
was about to kill me-I don't know- strangle me or something. All I
know is that I was really scared."

Lee's knuckles were turning white, his hands growing numb as he
clutched the receiver.

"Then what?" Lisa asked.

"He broke the door down and came in," Jenna said. "He was so angry
when he saw the bad guy about to strangle me that he punched him out."

"Who?" Lisa said. "Paul Davidson?"

Paul Davidson? Lee remembered the kid who had telephoned-wanting to
take Jenna to the movies. Maybe he hadn't told him to back off
strongly enough, Lee thought. But Jenna's reply to that question
really threw Lee for a loop.

"Paul?" Jenna said. "Are you kidding? Paul's just a kid-he couldn't
punch out the kitchen sink. It was Cary. Why would you think it was
Paul?"

Who was Cary? Lee tried to think back on all the school functions that
he'd attended-there were a lot of names but he couldn't remember a
Cary at all.

"Um, maybe because you and Paul are the same age?" Lisa said. "If
he's a kid so are you."

"Well last night I wasn't," Jenna said. "Last night I was a full-grown
woman. Now will you let me finish?"

Lisa's sigh was audible. "Whatever. So tell me what Cary did."

"Well he untied my hands-I forgot to tell you that my hands were tied,
right? So he untied them and then kissed my hands and wrists. And
then he swept me up in his arms and kissed me right on the lips and
said `Oh Jenna darling, I love you so much'."

"And then?" Lisa said.

"And then everything went black and I woke up," Jenna said. "So- what
do you think?"

"I think you've been watching too many of those old movies lately,"
Lisa said. "Nobody today would ever say `Oh Jenna, darling." And I
Googled Cary Grant-he's been dead for over 15 years and he's old
enough to be your great grandpa."

"It was my dream, Lisa," Jenna said. "I guess you just aren't a
romantic like I am."

Cary Grant. That was who Cary was. Lee carefully replaced the receiver
and then let out all of the breath he'd been holding. He ran a shaky
hand through his hair, plopping down into a nearby chair.

After that he started to laugh.

The End

She closed her eyes again and reopened them. Nope. It wasn't a
dream. He was still next to her in bed sleeping soundly.

She tried her best to remember what happened. It was all a huge
blur. The drinking. The dancing. The kissing. Something tickled
her memory.

She brought her hand out from underneath the covers and stared at her
hand.

A gold band circled her ring finger.

No. They didn't. Did they?

Francine, whatever were you thinking? Marrying Beaman!

Please let it be a dream.

The alarm clock rang. Francine opened her eyes. Breathed a sigh.
She was alone.

"Whatever were you thinking, buying condoms at a
7-11. You know they aren't always reliable and they
can bust at a moments notice. Now we'll have to wait
and see if anything comes of this breakage.

So what are we going to do if this comes up that I
turn up pregnant? Not that I should but are you going
to make an honest woman of me if it does happen?"

Joe King sat in the car waiting patiently for Amanda's
ramble to stop. "I've wanted to marry you the first
day I laid eyes on you. I love you."

It was late at night. Only a handful of agents would be in the building. The room was dark and he thought they were safe. "No interuptions tonight."

He pulled her close to him. His lips seeking hers. Their kisses become more demanding. Quickly removing his tie, she then unbottoned the top buttons of his shirt. Once she had that task completed, she kissed his exposed skin.

"Whatever were you thinking?" Lee said, shaking his head, walking down the hallway. Who would have thought Beaman and Roxanne, from accounting, would be making out in the copier room. "File under blackmail."

Amanda crept back into the living room, a dreamy look on her face.

"Whatever were you thinking? Kissing Buck."

"Mother," Amanda stammered. "I was not kissing Buck."

"Don't lie to me, missy. I know what I saw. The two of you jumped back so fast I thought you'd have whiplash."

"Oh, that. I was just telling Buck what a good idea he had, and I was sorry I laughed at his block party idea."

"He was going to kiss me--on the cheek. An apology of sorts. In the spirit of good neighbors. That's all."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, mother."

"Good."

End

Childhood Antics


"Are you sure? It's a long way down," Jamie questioned his brother,
Philip, as they stood at the top of the stairs. The tricycle they
had hauled up the stairs standing between them.

"Of course I'm sure, worm brain. All you need to do is hang on, and
you'll be at the bottom in no time. Mom's gone and grandma's outside-
-it's the perfect time to try this. I'm too big, so you have to be
the one to do it," Philip explained as only a big brother could.

"Alright, but if this doesn't work, I'm telling mom," Jamie lamented.

"It'll work, trust me," Philip calmly replied. And with that Jamie
jumped on the tricycle and went for the ride of his young life. The
ride only lasted a few seconds, and as he bounced down the stairs he
could hear Philip yelling, "And there he goes..."

As he got to the bottom, Jamie realized they hadn't thought about
the stopping part and screamed, "Now what?!?!"

"I don't know, jump!" Philip yelled as he raced down the stairs
after his little brother, thinking the whole time about how much
trouble he was about to be in.

Getting an answer too late, Jamie and the tricycle crashed into the
wall at the bottom of the stairs, knocking everything off the wall.

"Quick! Get up before grandma gets in here. I know she heard that
crash and all this glass from the pictures breaking," Philip
directed as he surveyed the damage.

"We're gonna be in big trouble!" Jamie whined as he untangled
himself from the trike and noticed the large gash in his leg.

"Just hurry up! Go upstairs and put a band aid on your leg and then
put on some long pants on so grandma won't notice that cut on your
leg." Philip suggested as he began to pick up the mangled tricycle
while Jamie ran upstairs to put their plan into action.

"Boys, what in the world was that racket?!?!" Dotty questioned
frantically as she raced into the house from her gardening.

"Philip Joseph King! Whatever were you thinking?!?!" Dotty yelled
when she found Philip with trike in hand and picture frames and
glass scattered all over the floor.

"It wasn't me grandma! Ummm, Jamie was the one who rode it down the
stairs…" Philip stammered as he looked at the battered trike.

"Of course he did, and I'm sure it was your idea. You know he's
your little brother, and he will do whatever you tell him. Now you
take that trike out to the garage and then come back in here to help
clean up this mess before your mother gets home. When she does get
home, you can tell her about what you two did today. Speaking of
your little brother, where is Jamie `cause he needs to help clean up
this mess too," Dotty ordered as she headed for the kitchen to grab
a broom.

"He's upstairs. He'll be down in a minute," Philip replied
dejectedly.

Shaking her head at the antics of her grandsons, Dotty mused `And
here I thought Amanda was a handful when she was their ages.'