Amanda Stetson stood before her dresser, pulling clothes out of the bottom drawer. She drew forth first black jeans, then a black turtleneck sweatshirt. She dressed quickly, adding sturdy hiking boots to the ensemble. Her hair went into a practical ponytail. Before slipping on her light windbreaker, she slid a brown leather holster onto her shoulders. After checking for her family, she unlocked the safe concealed next to her bed inside the nightstand. She checked her weapon for safety then loaded the ammo she removed from the safe as well. The alarm clock next to her rang. 7pm. Time to meet her partner. She walked briskly downstairs, calling to her boys as she went. “Phillip, Jamie! Com’ere a minute.”

“Yes, Mom?” The two teenagers skidded to a halt before their mother.

Amanda ran her hands briefly over their shoulders. She smiled and began to talk. “I’m going to be late again tonight. You guys got your homework ready for school in the morning?”

“Yes, ma’am. Mom, what are you doing tonight?” Phillip asked after exchanging worried looks with his brother. Their mother had been kind of weird lately. Their grandmother had said it was to be expected and not to worry too much, but they weren’t sure.

“Aw fellas, don’t worry. This is routine. I’ll be in the editing room for most of the night then probably in the viewing room for the rest.” Amanda pulled them forward for a brief hug. They wouldn’t tolerate much more than that at this stage of their adolescence. But that was probably for the best as well.

The boys raced up the stairs for another round of video games and Amanda reached for the doorknob, but not quickly enough.

“Amanda, wait.” Dotty leaned against the door watching her daughter.

Amanda slumped imperceptibly. She sighed softly then turned to face her mother. No matter what, it never got any easier to lie to her mother. “Yes, Mother?”

“Dear, where are you off to tonight?” The blond crossed her arms in front of her body and waited on an answer. Her manner clearly indicated that she expected another of Amanda’s convoluted answers.

“Just to the office. Editing night.” Amanda shrugged nonchalantly.

“Of course, editing night.” Dotty was unconvinced but said nothing. She would have thought that her daughter would ask for a little slack, considering everything, but no she just worked harder.

“Good night, Mother.” Amanda opened the door and started to leave without any further comment. She reconsidered and turned to embrace her mother briefly. She murmured, without looking the older woman in the face, “I love you.” The door slammed and Amanda was gone.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

As she pulled out of the driveway, she missed her mother’s worried countenance peering out the family room window. Dotty shook her head, slowly. She had always worried about Amanda. That’s what mothers do. They worry. But lately, it seemed she was destined to worry more so than others. Amanda kept strange hours. She had for several years, but now the strange hours were accompanied by late night trips to and from the house. She had even left for two whole weeks, right after the accident. She had assured Dotty that all was well with her life but somehow Dotty knew better.

The bruises and frequent ER trips had told her there was a problem. If she didn’t know better, she would have thought that her daughter had a death wish. She just seemed to attract accidents like a magnet did metal. She’d had two car wrecks, been mugged twice and had fallen on the stairs at work three times in the last eight weeks. She’d had more bruises than both of her overactive boys put together. When she left like this, for editing or on a filming assignment, Dotty didn’t know whether to pray for her quick return or to just pray she would return period.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Across town, Francine Desmond also dressed for tonight’s activities. She dressed similarly, yet totally different from Amanda. Her black jeans were designer originals. Her black sweater, the finest cashmere. Her boots, genuine Italian leather. She left her blonde hair loose and carried her weapon, as usual, in her purse. She thought about the last few days work and knew that this was the culmination of a lot of effort on the part of many departments. She spotted the clock on the wall reflected in her mirror, put on one last touch of lip-gloss and left for the meet downtown.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The dark, empty Marshmallow man warehouse had been deserted since the last Agency invasion of its premises. The business had suffered in light of the bad press and it had closed its doors on the DC branch of the retail business. For several months, it had been boarded up and left alone. But for three weeks now, the Agency had been watching the traffic in and around the building, as there had been an anonymous tip that they were to be given something of great value if they did so.

For many shifts, agents had staked out the property. Soon, they were rewarded for their diligence by the sightings of two known political antagonists, not exactly bad men, but certainly not good. The pair of men, the Dougan brothers, would pretty much run with whatever pack was paying the highest at that moment. For the last several months they had been on the payroll of one Phillip Marsh. Now, he was definitely a bad man. He had been selling government secrets to the highest bidder for years. How he got his secrets was unknown. There had been many theories and tons of wild speculation. No one knew for sure. What was known was that Marsh and the Dougans had been meeting here for weeks and Melrose had decided that now was the time to take them down. He wasn’t sure why, he just knew what his gut told him. Take this down now, and take it without killing the men. They had information, and he wanted it. Whatever it was…

Melrose waited at the gates to the warehouse as his team assembled before him. He deployed two, Johnson and Smith, to the back. He and his newest recruit, James, would take the front while the rest of the team, including his star pairing, covered the parking lot to prevent any runners from making it past the perimeter. With words of caution to all concerned parties, the section chief called the strike and they advanced on the target, weapons drawn.

Three minutes later, gunfire was heard and men began to break from the cover of the warehouse in an effort to escape. Amanda and her partner waited under the cover of a nearby car door and soon separated to apprehend two fleeing suspects.

Amanda had hers in custody rather quickly as he had slipped on an oily patch and went down in a heap at her feet. She cuffed him and turned to see how her partner was faring. The tall agent had one man in tow and couldn’t see the other man slipping up on them from behind.

The elder Dougan brother raised his hand to strike the agent on the back of the head. Just before his hand fell, Amanda found her voice and called a warning to her partner.

She raised her gun and prepared to fire as she yelled, “Francine, get down!” Her partner ducked, and Amanda fired without hesitation.

The oldest Dougan, William, fell to the pavement from the single shot to the head as Francine rolled away, with her prisoner still attached. She rose quickly, glanced to the dead man then her partner. She shook her head with wonder once again. This was the second time this month that Amanda had saved her ass and without even blinking at the methods she had used to do it. Francine dragged her shocked perpetrator to his feet and turned him over to the approaching Agency guards. She walked over to the now slightly shaken Amanda and touched her on the shoulder. That was her first mistake. Amanda pulled away rather violently and raised a warning hand to the blonde woman. Francine began to speak in a cautious tone and made her second mistake, “Amanda, thank you. I mean, I know we’ve been working together for some time now and that you have really done a great job. I want to tell you that I’m proud to be your partner and that I know now, why Lee was so proud of you, as well. You’re a great agent and …” Francine’s voice faltered as she saw the cold look Amanda was aiming her way.

“Francine, just stop it. I don’t want to hear it anymore than you want to say it. We both know that I will never be the agent that Lee was. If I had been, I might have saved him. But instead, I froze. I couldn’t fire that gun and I couldn’t keep Lee from dying in that fire.” Amanda glared at her new partner. She waited for the space of two heartbeats then swiveled on her feet and left the gaping Francine behind.

TBC

The two Marine guards, ever present at that entrance to the underground portion of the Agency, straightened imperceptibly at the approach of the hottest new team Melrose had put together. Amanda King and Francine Desmond strode into the bullpen side by side. Shoulders square, faces determined, they looked exactly like what they were: highly successful females in a predominantly male world. They had even taken to dressing similarly. Both wore slim dress pants with low-heeled ankle boots. Sweaters topped the ensembles, Francine in her vivid electric blue, Amanda in a more understated soft pink.

William Melrose watched their approach with a mixture of emotions, pride and affection the foremost of them. They'd been partners for six weeks now and after giving him only a few headaches and three severe cases of heartburn they had settled into a relationship that obviously worked. All previous animosities seemed to have been forgotten and they got along well. As long as no one broke the two cardinal rules around Amanda King: don't touch her and don't mention Lee Stetson.

After the fire that claimed Scarecrow's life, Amanda had withdrawn for several days. Staying at Lee's apartment, not talking to anyone from work or even her family, she had given him much worry those first few days.

Suddenly, with no prompting from anyone, she had reappeared at his office and stated that she wanted to come back to work, with one condition. She wanted the in-depth weapons and combat training she had always declined. Both Lee and Billy had often encouraged her to take the course. She had declined, stating that it was a waste of time. She could never really shoot anyone and she was sure she wouldn't ever be able to karate chop some bad guy into submission. No, she had joked that she would continue to rely on her brain and Lee's brawn to keep them out of trouble.

But on that day in his office, Billy had seen the determination in her eyes as she made her request, and while he wasn't sure exactly what her motivations were, he knew she needed the distraction and he needed her back on the job. She got her training and in a week she returned, the cool, efficient agent that he now saw approaching his office. He had hesitated to put her in the field alone, yet he wasn't sure she would tolerate another partner so soon.

Francine had fit the bill perfectly. She was making noises about wanting to get back in the field and Amanda needed a partner she knew and trusted. So he had tossed them together and hoped for the best. And that was exactly what he got. Except for the partnership of Scarecrow and Mrs. King, this was one of the most productive that the Agency had seen. The two women had busted several operations, each in a matter of days, which the other sections had been working on, unsuccessfully, for weeks. Now he had to tell them that this latest bust had yielded more information than they had hoped for. And not all of it was what they had anticipated. Billy had to break Amanda's cardinal rule number two.

"So you're telling us that this man, West Dougan, has information about Lee's death and he won't talk to anyone but me?" Amanda paced nervously around Billy's office. She and Francine had entered, expecting to be briefed about what their prisoner had divulged about Phillip Marsh's operation. Now she was being told that Dougan had information about why and how her partner, husband and lover had been killed. She had thought she had it all figured out. She stood in front of the window that looked out over the bullpen and mulled it over once again. She thought it all out and she came up with the same conclusion as she had the last thousand futile times.

She was the reason he was dead. She had not been strong enough to pull the trigger and kill the man who had dragged him into a building wired to explode. She had not been able to focus on her target, for worry about the very man she was trying to save. She hadn't taken the shot and he had been forced into the building and before she could get in to get him out, it had blown up in her face. The blast had thrown her several feet away and she hadn't been seriously injured. Not physically at least. Her heart and her soul were another matter completely.

Melrose moved from his chair and stepped in front of the restless pacer. "Amanda, I know this is a shock. But if Dougan has information about who paid to have Lee killed, we could put that person away, where he deserves to be. We know that it was a professional job. Lee was assassinated. You got in the way and it went down a little differently than Forrester intended. He got hit as well. But it was assassination all the same!"

Amanda remained at the window and continued to look out over the bullpen. She had wiped Lee out of her mind. At least that was what she told herself. It didn't count that she still dreamed about him every night. She couldn't help what her subconscious did. It didn't matter that she couldn't go into the Q Bureau for any reason. She was a bit claustrophobic now, that's all. It didn't matter that she still saw his eyes sparkling with morning secrets, when she drank her first cup of coffee out his favorite mug from her cabinet at home. She had always liked that mug as well. She slept in his favorite gown because it was comfortable, not because it reminded her of the night he had taken such pleasure in giving it to her, then removing it from her body. She didn't deserve to have such good memories of the man she had failed. So she simply didn't have them, or so she told herself.

Francine watched her partner standing by the window and felt again the helplessness she so hated. She had felt that helplessness when she found Amanda lying in that parking lot as the building erupted in flames behind them. She had felt that helplessness when Amanda refused to let her in Lee's apartment to help her deal with her sorrow. She had felt that same helplessness each time Amanda took chances, alone, to catch the bad guys. She hated to feel helpless, but Amanda simply would not be helped.

Francine looked at Billy for guidance, but none was forthcoming. This was one situation that Amanda was just going to have to deal with. She was going to have to go to this man and discuss Lee Stetson and his death for the first time in eight weeks, for the first time ever for that matter. She spoke to her partner's back, "Amanda, do you want me to do it? I mean maybe he'll tell me. Or I could go with you? Just as back up, you know?"

She reached out to lay one hand on Amanda's slim arm, but pulled up short as she remembered what reaction yesterday's simple touch on the shoulder had evoked. She recalled her action just in time as Amanda turned to face them both.

"No, Francine. I'll go alone. It's my responsibility and I'll make good on it." She walked across the office and opened the door without another word. She hesitated only briefly, and then proceeded to the interrogation room two floors down.

In that tiny, square room, West Dougan sat and waited on the one person who might get him out of this mess. He had information that she wanted and if she wanted it bad enough, she would help to get him out of the predicament he was in now. She had clout in this organization. After all, she had been the partner of the great Scarecrow.

As he waited for her arrival, he considered where he was. He had heard of the Agency, but had never really been sure that he believed in it or its hotshot agents. That is, until a few weeks ago when Phillip Marsh had approached him and his brother, William, about assisting Forrester with this particular assignment. Marsh had hired Forrester to kill Scarecrow. Then he had sent the Dougan brothers to insure that it was done properly. In other words, to insure that the good name of Phillip Marsh could in no way be attached to the act. And the only way to do that was to kill the killer, after he had done his deed. The classic double-cross, what a joy to have been a part of.

It had gone according to plan, until the lady agent had shown up. She had followed them to the abandoned office building on the outskirts of town. While they waited on Forrester to finish the job, she had snuck around to the other side of the parking lot. She waited until her precious agent boyfriend was out of the car and being escorted into the building that was to be his final resting place. Boy, were they surprised when she pulled a gun and demanded that Scarecrow be released.

The Dougan brothers, who prided themselves on their acute instincts, smelled trouble and made a quick getaway, but not before they saw Forrester call her bluff and drag the drugged Scarecrow into the building. They moved on down the road but felt and saw the blast that was to have ended Scarecrow's life as well as the paid assassin, Forrester. Now they knew good and well that neither man had time to get out of the building and they figured that their mission was a success.

West Dougan heard the door to his holding cell open at that point and his thoughts were interrupted by the arrival of the lady agent herself.

Now that Amanda had seen him up close and had observed his behavior through the interrogation room mirror, she realized that she had seen him before. He had been on the scene that evening. That evening when she had failed to do what she needed to do. When she had failed Lee.

West Dougan wasn't a major player. He and his now dead brother were small-time, hired henchmen. They had appeared to be more like escorts for the man who had taken Lee from his car in front of her house. Forrester had walked up casually to the corvette window. He had leaned in and injected Lee with an unknown chemical and pulled him out of the seat and into the waiting Oldsmobile. She had seen the limp form of her husband shoved into the back of the car and she had seen the beady, dumb eyes of the man who sat before her now, meet her own just as the window slid closed and the car sped away from their home in Arlington. For weeks now those eyes had haunted her, taunted her. Taunted her with the knowledge that he knew she couldn't save Lee no matter how she wanted to.

Now those eyes looked smugly at her, waiting, expecting her to do just as he wanted.

"All right, Mr. Dougan. Here I am. What do you want?" Amanda took the chair across from him and laid her hands calmly on the table before her.

"I want you to help me out of this little jam I seem to be in." His matter of fact tone seemed to amuse Amanda as she laughed softly before answering him.

"Now, just why would I do that? What possible reason could I have for wanting to help the man who had a part in killing my partner?" Amanda's tone was derisive as she sneered at the man over the expanse of the table.

"Why, Mrs. Stetson?" he leaned in close, almost conspiratorially, to the surprised agent, "Because I know that he wasn't just your partner and because I know that he isn't dead."

TBC

Amanda Stetson sat at her dining room table staring at the tiny, round gold object in her palm. That afternoon in the Marion County judge's chambers, she had placed it on its proper place with all her love and devotion. She had never intended to have it back in her possession. Not this way, at least. She thought back seven and a half weeks ago.

She had been sitting in Lee's apartment, waiting on the inevitable news. She knew in her mind that no one could survive that blast. But her heart simply refused to believe that he was gone. They had had such big plans. For on the night of that last operation, they had planned to come clean, as Lee put it, right after dinner. He had worn his ring and she had worn hers, as tokens of the coming openness. Lee had gone to the car to get their marriage license as proof for the ever-skeptical Dotty, but instead of returning, he had been abducted and well, the rest was history.

She had come to their apartment to surround herself with him. She had immersed herself in his scent, in the familiar presence of his clothes, his things. She had lain in his, their bed and sank into the memories of their last night together. Even as she recalled the way his hands had skimmed over her back and shoulders, how his mouth had branded her own, she had heard the doorbell ring.

With that single short peal, she knew it was over. For nearly a week she had hidden here, hidden from the investigation, from the Agency and from anyone who knew her well enough to recognize what she was doing, grieving for the man who was her best friend, her lover, and her husband. She crawled out of the bed, clutching his pillow to her chest. She had peeked out the door and seen Billy with a single white envelope in his hand. She opened the door and he'd entered.

"Amanda, I know this is not what you want to hear, but the investigation is over and the findings were inconclusive, but undeniable. There were human remains in the building. The match isn't definite, but they did find this in the rubble."

The section chief had handed her the envelope. Her shaking hands opened the flap and poured the contents into her palm. She gasped and moaned as if wounded by what she saw as the glittering gold band fell into her hand.

"Amanda, does this mean anything to you?" Billy reached a comforting hand to place on her arm. He was astounded when she viciously pulled away from his touch.

"Don't. Please, don't touch me. I, this, it's Lee's. We, oh god...I'm sorry, I can't..."

"Amanda, I know you were married. I've known for months now. I'm sorry. I know what you were to each other." Melrose tried once more to offer her the comfort of his touch. She stepped further away from him.

"No sir, I don't think you do." She glared at him and registered his look of shock and hurt at her tone. Out of respect for his friendship, she apologized, "I'm sorry, sir. Of course you understand." Her tone was cold and final. She backed him out the door and closed it in his face. She had returned to the bed with Lee's pillow and his ring clutched in her hand.

Now as she stared at the brilliant gold band once more, she fought the urge to cry and forced herself to focus on the task at hand. If she believed the younger Dougan brother, her husband was alive and needed her help. At this point, only she could go to him, because only she knew. She had left the Agency without filling Billy and Francine in on the details of their 'conversation'. Dougan had given her the information he had and she had given him a cold apology as she informed him that there was nothing more she could do to make his sentence any lighter for him.

"Sorry Dougan, but I'm not the one to bargain with. I can't do anything to lighten your sentence or help you out of this hole you've dug for yourself. However, I do thank you for the information, if it's real. If it's not, I promise you, I can make your stay with us much more difficult." Amanda had stood quickly and stepped toward the exit. She turned swiftly at the sound of Dougan cursing.

"You little bitch. How dare you lie to me? I'll put you in..."

He lunged around the table and actually managed to get his hands on her arm before she turned and slammed her open palm into his nose, pushing with her body weight as blood spurted out of his nostrils. She pushed him away from her and landed a sharp punch into his stomach with her right leg. He fell to the floor, clutching his face and attempting to roll into a protective ball. She left him lying on the floor as the guards and Francine rushed in. Amanda walked past her 'rescue' and out of the Agency without saying a word to anyone.

That had been several hours ago and she was expecting Billy and Francine to call any minute to check on her and demand an explanation. She wasn't sure what to tell them. She knew she was going to go after Lee, but she wasn't sure if Billy would let her. Not officially anyway. Mesmerized by the sight of Lee's band in her palm, she recalled the week immediately after Lee's death and how Billy had responded to her when she'd finally made her decision.

Billy hadn't told anyone about her marriage and neither had she. She hadn't told her mother or the boys. Why should they have to grieve for the stepfather they hadn't known they had? She was grieving enough for them all. For a week she had stayed in the apartment, not eating, not really sleeping, and not seeing anyone. The answering machine picked up calls unheard, for she had the sound turned off.

She had relived every detail of their last moments together unendingly, or so it seemed. She had questioned her actions, Lee's actions and every time she came to the same conclusion. It was her fault. She'd failed him. All his teaching, all her training, had been wasted for she had failed him when he needed her the most. When he needed her to use all that he had taught her and all that she had learned, she had frozen. She hadn't pulled the trigger and he had been pulled into that building and he had died. How could she ever face the Agency again knowing how pitifully she had failed them all? She couldn't. She would resign and forget that part of her life.

Even as she came to this conclusion, another part of her asked how could she throw away all that knowledge and training? How could she deny the woman that she had become, the woman that Lee had helped her to become? She couldn't. Because deep inside, she knew that she still believed in why she had accepted that package from such a desperate looking young man nearly 6 years ago, because he'd needed her help and she'd needed to give it.

So after having closed herself off from the world in their apartment for seven days, she stood up one morning and faced herself in the mirror. She looked at the woman before her and knew that she had an obligation to keep, an obligation to Lee, to the Agency, and more importantly, to herself.

Billy Melrose, section chief for more years than he cared to remember, and friend to Amanda Stetson for more than the last five, stood outside the door of her Arlington home and recalled the last time he had waited for her to answer the doorbell. It was not a pleasant memory. Amanda had been closer to physical and mental collapse than he'd ever seen her. He had longed to stay and comfort her after he'd handed over the last remaining bit of her partner and husband, but she'd shut him out. She had coldly apologized and politely closed the door in his face.

For close to a week more, he had tried to communicate with his agent but all to no avail. He had been considering a forced confrontation with her when she had suddenly appeared before him, demanding to return to work and to be sent to Advanced Training. He would never forget that conversation or the look in her eyes as he'd talked with her.

"Amanda, thank goodness you're here. I've been trying to reach you for days. I was just about to call out the militia." Billy rounded the edge of his desk and reached for her arm.

She stepped out of his reach and looked him directly in the eye. "Mr. Melrose, sir, I have something to say. I'm ready to come back to work. And I mean work. I'm not willing to be chained to a desk. And I am not going to go back to being anyone's gopher. I'm a good agent and I want to prove it."

"What do you mean you want to prove it? You have nothing to prove. Amanda, I know that you are a good agent. You and Scarecrow are the best team I have."

"Were." The word was stated starkly.

Billy blanched at his slip. "I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking..."

"Sir, it doesn't matter right now. I have a lot to offer as an Agent and I intend to give it."

Billy watched her face as she spoke. Amanda normally was very easy to read. She wore her heart on her sleeve so to speak. Today he was staring at blank wall. He had no idea what she was thinking or why. "Very well, Amanda, what is it, exactly, that you have in mind?"

"I want to go to the Advanced Training Course." Her words were flat and blunt, almost as if being recited.

Melrose leaned against the edge of his desk and carefully considered what he'd just heard before he went any further. Amanda had refused the course in the past, stating that she was the brain and Lee was the brawn. Of course she had been joking. She had passed with flying colors all the Agency required courses for self-defense. The Advanced course focused on attack measures, weapons training, and physical and mental stamina. Amanda had always openly admitted that she had no desire to shoot or maim her enemies nor was she certain that she could if she so desired. Her status as an agent had always been unusual and therefore the situation hadn't been pushed. He was honestly flabbergasted at why she now wanted the course.

"Very well. That has always been your option. I'll make the arrangements. It's a weeklong course and it's actually scheduled to start tomorrow so you'll have to wait on the next one in 6 weeks. You can't go this round anyway. You have another week of leave ahead of you." Melrose stood from his perch and resumed his position behind his desk. He pulled out the appropriate form and laid it in front of Amanda for her signature.

"No sir. I want to go as soon as possible. I don't want the last week of the leave."

"Amanda, that isn't optional. Agency policy states that any agent take two weeks leave following the loss of their partner." Billy thumped his desk to emphasize his words.

Amanda stared unflinchingly into his face, "I didn't lose a partner; he didn't just wander away at the grocery store. He died. He died and I couldn't stop it."

Melrose, sensing that this was as close as he was going to get to persuading her to discuss her emotions with him, attempted to steer the conversation that way. "No, Amanda, you couldn't. And if you're thinking of blaming yourself, stop right now. You did all that you could do!"

"No sir, I'm not 'thinking' of blaming myself." She signed the form he'd laid on the desk earlier that granted her permission to take the Advanced Course, pushed it back across the desk to him, and turned to leave. "I'll be at home if you need me. I'll be ready to go for the course by in the morning. Send a car, please. Mother will need mine while I'm away."

Billy watched her leave, knowing that she had won that round concerning the course, but still not sure who'd won the round about blame. He was pretty sure it wasn't him.

Brought back to the present time when she heard the doorbell ring, Amanda knew that her waiting was over. Billy or Francine or both had decided to do this in person. It really didn't matter to her. The end would be the same. She would tell them what she knew and then she'd tell them what she was going to do. They'd argue. She might win, she might not. Either way, she was going to go look for Lee.

Amanda moved toward the front entrance of the house and opened the door to see the stocky figure of Billy waiting on her doorstep. Peering around him toward the curb, she opened the door wide and waved him in. "Alone? I'm surprised. I thought Francine would be with you."

"Uh, she's about 20 minutes behind me. We thought we'd see how I did before we teamed up on you." His tone was sheepish, but not apologetic.

"Come on in. I'll put on coffee and surely she'll be here soon. No need to do this twice. We've got time. Mother is antique shopping out of town with her friends; and the boys won't be home from school for at least 4 hours. "

They walked back into the kitchen. Amanda prepared coffee while Billy watched a bit uncomfortably. Amanda obviously had something to say and these days it was not usually a pleasant thing to witness. What on Earth had Dougan said to her to warrant the punishment she had dealt out? Not to mention to get her out of the Agency without so much as a word to them?

Soon, they heard Francine arrive and come to the door. Amanda waved her in and pointed to the table and coffee awaiting her.

Francine exchanged looks with Billy who shrugged, indicating his own puzzlement. She sat across from him and Amanda joined them. With no preliminary explanation, Amanda took a deep breath, felt for the rings she now wore together around her neck and began to speak.

"West Dougan told me that Lee is alive." She stared over her coffee cup at the people in front of her. Both agents gaped and dropped cups onto saucers with loud clatters.

"He said that Lee is alive and I'm going to find him."

TBC

Two hours after sitting down with Billy and Francine to discuss the biggest operation of her life, Amanda led them out the front door. For the first time in weeks, Amanda voluntarily reached out to her friends, placing a warm hand on the arm of each. "Sir, Francine, I just want to say... well... thank you. I've been a bit difficult lately and I appreciate your... well... your everything."

Francine looked down at the hand on her arm and wondered if it was safe to respond. She could see that Amanda was trying. The look on Amanda's face clearly showed how much effort it cost her to extend this gesture. She hesitated for mere seconds and lost the chance to respond as Amanda was already withdrawing into the house, calling as she went, "I'll meet you at the office as soon as Mother gets home to be with the boys."

Billy and Francine found themselves staring at the front door of the house and they exchanged looks of newfound hope. Billy voiced what they were each thinking. "Well, it wasn't much, but it was a start."

"Let's just hope that we can find Lee. If he is alive, she may just have enough reason to come back to us. If not, we may lose her forever." She inclined her head toward the home, then followed Billy down the steps and out to the street.

Inside the house, Amanda cleared up the coffee cups and straightened the dining room table from their impromptu strategy session. Not surprisingly, Billy had immediately given his total support to an effort to rescue Lee, if he was alive. Not only that, but he had encouraged Francine to assist her and offered agency resources however they were needed. Now as she thought it over, she was again grateful that Billy was so openly helpful. He had always gone out on long limbs for them, just as they would have for him.

Together the three of them had decided to try asking around some of Lee's old 'family'. Amanda felt that some of them would be willing to speak to her. In fact, she knew that at least three would be more than willing. She had been in contact with T.P Aquinas, Rhonda, and Augie Swan in the last month. They had sought her out, with information regarding current case files. When she'd asked them why they were willing to deal with her, they had all responded alike. Lee had trusted her and so would they.

She could recall the first contact with Lee's family after his death. Rhonda, the mechanic, had called her to the station that she worked at and given her information about strange activity in and around the Russian Embassy, heard of course, from the drivers of limos used by the occupants of the Embassy. Not that those drivers were loose lipped, exactly. They simply didn't expect an American car mechanic to speak and understand fluent Russian.

Two days later, Amanda and Francine had busted wide open the underground intelligence circle that had infiltrated the US via the Russia Embassy. Once it was all wrapped up, Amanda had sent Rhonda one of Lee's favorite bottles of champagne as a thank you, anonymously of course. Soon she had received calls from two more of Lee's family and discovered that she and Francine, with the 'family' behind them made a pretty good team.

The slamming of the back door and her mother's voice calling ended Amanda's reverie. "Amanda! Darling, what are you doing home? Are you okay? Did you have another accident? Have you seen a doctor? Should we go to the Emergency Room?"

Amanda shook her head and began to answer, "Yes, Mother, I'm home. I'm okay. No accident and I don't need a doctor or the ER."

She came around the kitchen corner and face to face with her mother. The look of worry rapidly being replaced by relief made Amanda realize that she had given her mother a lot of grief and worry in the last few weeks. Unfortunately, there was a very real possibility that she would have to add to that before this was all over.

"Mother, can we talk?" Amanda led her mother by the hand and sat her down on the couch in the living room. She took a deep breath and sat next to Dotty.

Dotty sat on the couch and watched as her daughter sat beside her, obviously working up the courage to say something. She knew in her heart that her daughter was struggling with some great burden. She had been struggling with this burden ever since Lee's fatal car wreck. She could still remember the phone call she had received from a very distraught Amanda on that night nearly eight weeks ago. The tears in her voice had immediately told Dotty that there was something terribly wrong.

"Mother, please stay calm. I need to tell you something." Amanda had breathed into the phone receiver.

"Oh my Lord, there is something wrong, isn't there? What is it? Tell me, right now, Amanda King!" Dotty's voice was strident with concern. She clutched the receiver and felt for the counter to brace herself for the news.

"Mother, there's been an accident. A car wreck. I'm okay, just sore and bruised..." Amanda's voice faltered and she drew air in sharply.

"Where are you? I'll come get you. I'll call a cab."

"No, Mother. I have to stay here for a while."

Dotty, assuming that she was with Lee stated, "Okay, then I guess Lee will bring you home later?"

"No, oh God no...Mother, Lee is...he was in the car too. He's..." Her voice trailed off into near silent sobs.

"Amanda, what? Is Lee hurt? Darling, talk to me. You're scaring me." Dotty sat down hard on the chair near by. Something was terribly wrong.

"Mother, Lee is dead." Dotty heard the whispered answer but didn't process it until she heard the click indicating that Amanda had severed the connection and hung up the phone.

"Amanda? Amanda? Where are you?" Dotty demanded of the now useless phone.

Dotty heard her daughter's voice pulling her back to the present. She focused on the here and now and asked hesitantly, "Amanda, is something wrong?"

"Not exactly. I want to tell you that I'm very sorry for the last several weeks. I've not been myself and I know that you and the boys have been confused. I don't know if I can ever really explain it to you, but I want to try."

"Amanda, darling, there isn't anything to explain. I mean, you suffered a terrible loss. Lee was very close to you. We didn't expect you to just bounce back."

Amanda took her mother's hands in her own and looked her in the eye. Now was the time for some real talk, for some truths to come out. So that when it was over, they could be what they were going to need to be, a family.

"Yes, Mother, Lee was very close to me. And when I thought he died, I just wanted to die myself. I think in some ways I did die. At least a part of me did. I know that Phillip and Jamie needed me. They were close to Lee, too. I know that they miss him."

Dotty drew one hand out of her grasp and patted her check affectionately. "We all miss him. I mean we were used to him being here and he so obviously made you happy. It hurt us to see you hurt."

"I know. And I shut you out when I should have pulled you in. I just couldn't absorb all that pain. My own was too huge." Her eyes were bright with tears she wouldn't allow herself to shed.

"Amanda, I've known for several weeks, ever since you came home from your trip, that you were struggling with something, something more than Lee's death. Are you ready to tell me about it?" Dotty held her breath. She knew quite well how grief could affect a person. When her husband, Frank, had died, she had become rather distant and had it not been for her sister Lillian, she probably would have withdrawn completely. She had thought of forcing Amanda to talk this through, but she hadn't. She now prayed that her only child was ready to lean on her now.

"I think maybe I am." Amanda stood and walked to the window. She crossed her arms over her middle as if to shield herself from the onslaught to her senses that she now had to face. She had shut these thoughts and feelings off for weeks. Now she had to not only face them, but talk about them. She had to try to explain them to the one person she should have trusted all along.

"Mother, I am the reason that Lee is dead." She stated it flatly, bluntly. The words hung there as if frozen in time and space. She turned to look at Dotty but instead she saw that scene replaying in her mind.

She saw Lee being held in place by the assassin. She saw the gun in her hand, trained on the target. She saw her finger curl around the trigger. Then she saw herself freeze as she focused on Lee's face, right next to Forrester's. She froze and Lee was pulled into the building. She called for back-up then advanced on the building. Before she took ten steps, the place blew and she fell to the ground from the force of the blast. She felt the blast all over again, wincing as she recalled the impact.

Dotty, silent, not sure of what to say, sat back on the couch and stared at her offspring. She had made her statement, then zoned out. Amanda stared at her but she was sure she wasn't seeing her. This was a look she had come to know well in the last few weeks. She did the only thing she could think of. She stood, crossed to stand before Amanda and shook her hard. "Amanda, that is the stupidest thing I ever heard. How could you be responsible?"

Amanda, jerked out of the past, tried to reconcile what she saw in her mind with what she needed to tell her mother now. She knew it was time for some truths, but how much could her mother handle. Billy had already given her permission to tell Dotty as little or as much as she needed to.

"Mother, I am responsible. He was...I was his back-up. I should have been able to save him, but I couldn't and he died...oh Mother..." Amanda's voice rose and cracked then she collapsed into the arms that still held hers and began to sob. Deep, wracking sobs that caused her slim form to shake uncontrollably, overtook her and she soon needed more support than her mother's slender frame could provide.

Dotty felt her daughter's knees buckle and eased down onto the floor with her. She kneeled next to Amanda and rocked her in her arms. She could hear Amanda continuing to talk, but the words were unintelligible. She didn't have to know what she was saying to understand what she needed. She needed to cry, long and hard. She needed this release, both emotional and physical. For what seemed like hours they remained on the floor, Dotty holding her only child in her arms as if she were a newborn baby. Eventually Amanda calmed and began to speak again.

"Mother, I really... need to tell you some things... and they aren't going to be easy to hear, but I need you... to hear them, please." Her voice still was quivery, still broken by occasional small sobs. She drew in a deep breath and stood, assisting her mother to stand with her. Dotty looked at her warily before accompanying her to sit on the couch.

"Amanda, does this have anything to do with why you said you were responsible for Lee's death? Because if it does, I'm not sure that I can sit here and listen to talk like that. It's just the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard." Dotty grasped Amanda's hands in her own and squeezed to emphasize her words. She was slightly shocked by the coldness of the hands she held. She grew concerned when she saw the distant, removed look come over Amanda's face once again. "Amanda, I'm sorry, just tell me what is going on, please."

The younger woman began to speak, her words almost mechanical at first, then more life-like as she recalled that this was her mother and that she deserved to know the truth, the whole truth. "Lee wasn't killed in a car wreck, Mother. Lee was trapped in a fire, in a burning building that exploded after he was taken in. I couldn't stop them from taking him in and he was forced inside, and we believed him to have been trapped in there when it blew."

"Amanda, I don't understand...who took him into the building and how on earth were you supposed to have stopped them?"

"I should have stopped them because I was his partner, his back-up. I had a gun and I should have used it."

"Now Amanda, no one expected you to know how to defend yourself with a gun. Why did you even have a gun? Dotty was shaking her head in exasperation. Had her daughter finally had the breakdown she had feared was coming?

"Mother, pay very close attention. This is going to be very difficult for you to accept. Lee and I are not film producers, we don't work for a film company and he wasn't my boss." She watched Dotty's face for signs of understanding. All she saw was denial and confusion. "We worked for the government. Lee was an intelligence agent and he recruited me and well... now I'm an agent too. We've been working together for nearly five years."

"Amanda, are you telling me that you and Lee were spies? That Lee Stetson was a spy and that he recruited you, a housewife with two children, to work with him in the spy business? I was wrong before. This is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard! Why are you telling me these lies? Why can't you just tell me what is going on in your life?" Dotty, distraught by what she saw as a set back in the conversation, stood and began to pace, with her arms tightly hugging her middle, her face downcast.

Amanda saw that she was not going to be believed so she went to the phone, dialed a very familiar number and asked to speak to Mr. Melrose.

Dotty heard the name and leapt up to ask, "Why are you asking for that horrible little man? I don't want to talk to him. What does he have to do with anything?"

Amanda covered the mouthpiece and told her, "Because he is my boss. He put Lee and I together and I think you need to hear it from him." She turned her attention back to the phone. "Mr. Melrose? It's Amanda. I think I need you to explain to my Mother. She's having a little difficulty understanding. Yes, she's right here." She handed the receiver to her bewildered mother and stood back.

Dotty glared at her daughter. She never had gotten over the intense dislike she had developed for William Melrose during that whole security mix-up a few years back. "Hello, this is Dorothea West."

Amanda watched as she knew what Billy was saying penetrated the shocked fog surrounding her mother. Several moments later Dotty hung up the phone and faced her daughter with a strange expression on her face. "He said that you were telling me the truth and that he had paperwork to prove it. That if I wanted to see him or talk to him, that you knew how to find him."

"So do you believe me now?" Amanda wasn't sure whether she wanted to hear, yes she believed or no, she didn't. Either way, she had a lot of explaining to do.

An hour later, the two women sat once again on the couch, each nursing a cup of hot tea. Dotty finally believed her after hearing the whole story, starting with the train station, twice over. There had been many questions, lots of hugs and an equal amount of tears shed over the rehashing of the last five years. Amanda felt freer and more relaxed than she had in weeks. She'd never realized what she had missed by not being able to share so many of the small everyday things with her mother.

Dotty now knew all that she was free to tell her of her job and the agency. And with any luck, soon Amanda would be able to bring her son-in-law home to be properly introduced. For when, not if, she refused to think of if, she brought Lee home, she would be doing just that, bringing him home. No more secrets, no more lies, no more long, lonely nights for either of them.

Dotty held her hand and her eye and asked one final question. "Darling, I understand why you kept this from us. You wanted to protect us. What I don't understand is why you are telling me now. Are you still in the spy business? Did you get a new partner? Oh Amanda don't tell me that you are out there alone...I couldn't stand it."

"Well, Mother, I am still in the 'spy business' and I wish you wouldn't call it that. I do have another partner, for now. Mother, I...we... have reason to believe that Lee may be alive. And if he is, I'm going to get him." Her voice hardened and her back straightened as she uttered this last sentence. She became the cool agent right before her Mother's eyes.

For once Dotty didn't argue. She didn't quite know what to say.

TBC

The next day found Amanda Stetson standing in front of the Library of Congress Building. She waited for the appearance of T. Percival Aquinas. Just as she and Billy had agreed to do, she had called for a meeting with him, only to be told that he was quite eager to meet with her as well. It seemed he had news to tell her. Amanda hoped this news was a corroboration of Dougan's tale.

In the car at the corner, Francine waited for her to return. No matter how many times Francine accompanied her on their meetings, T.P. simply wasn't comfortable with the blond. So to keep this operation flowing smoothly, Francine waited in the car. As Amanda recalled the early days of her work with the Agency, she almost felt sorry for her partner.

She scanned the steps leading to and from the entrance and saw the unique form of her contact come into view. He wore bright white pants and a loud yellow shirt with an accompanying blue sweater vest. The older man lumbered down the steps, his briefcase in his hand and a rather determined look on his face. He was so focused on his own objective that he would have bypassed Amanda had she not intercepted him then fallen into step beside him.

"Oh, Amanda! Hello. I was just coming to look for you." T.P. swallowed and for the first time since Amanda had known him, he seemed awkward and unsure of how to proceed. "Oh my dear, I have to tell you something. And I am not quite sure how to go about doing it."

"Well, how about if you just tell me what you know about who has Lee and how I can find him and then we'll see if it agrees with what I know?" Amanda smiled at the man and chuckled slightly as he gaped, slightly like a fish out of water.

"Oh well, I see. I just heard today, I assumed that the Agency didn't know yet. But then again, when you called me, I should have known..." He shook his head at his own naivety. "I really found out quite by accident you know. It seems that Phillip Marsh is at it yet again. He has secrets to tell, but he wants to sell tickets to the show. He's bragging that he has valuable information about the Silverstone project." By this time they had made their way to the bench under the tree where they usually met and were sitting, T.P. holding his briefcase and Amanda leaning forward, listening intently.

"Now I knew that case was Lee's and yours and no one else would have that kind of information pertaining to the case. I knew there was no way you had been talking. So I had to assume that Lee might have been compromised before his death. Imagine my surprise when I overheard Marsh discussing how he got this information. He told his prospective buyer, a big burly German, by the name of Rolf, by the way, that he not only had the information but the source and that both were for sale."

Amanda interrupted. "You heard him admit that he had Lee? That Lee was alive and that he is holding him captive?"

"Well, not in so many words. But he did say Silverstone and team leader and that he had the information and the leader in his custody. Now, we both know that Lee was the team leader for that project and that it was of a particular interest to the Germans. That was enough to have me hightailing to the nearest park bench to meet the most resourceful, not to mention attractive agent I know."

Amanda nodded thoughtfully. It all added up. The Dougans worked for Marsh and Marsh sold whatever he could find out by whatever means necessary to whoever paid him the most money. She gripped T.P.'s hand briefly. "Thanks. I know a lot more now than I did. You didn't happen to hear him say where he was holding Lee, did you?"

The historian, slightly put off by her touch, hesitated before answering. He had been quite startled the first time he had seen her following Lee's presumed death. An attempt to lay a comforting hand on her arm had earned him a snarl and glare. He hadn't tried again. This was the first time she had reached out in weeks. "Uh, no, no. But I do know that Phillip Marsh keeps a rather out of the way cottage near the river, just outside of Riverton. Might bear looking into, seeing as how he has been making regular trips to the cottage for about the last eight weeks."

"T.P., you're the best. I've got to go. Give me a call if you hear anything else?" Amanda rose and was already walking toward the car and the waiting Francine.

"Of course. Oh, Amanda, you will be careful?"

The only response he got was a wave as she climbed into the passenger seat and the vehicle drove away. He returned to his office, assuring himself that she had had the best teacher. He hoped that would be enough.

The next two hours were spent in a similar manner, Amanda meeting contacts and Francine waiting in the car. Neither Augie nor Rhonda had heard much but the mechanic did know more about the cottage T.P. had told her about. It was indeed very out of the way. According to Marsh's driver, who'd brought his car to her for it's last oil change, they were going to the cottage this very weekend. And they were taking some VIP's with them. Amanda's sense of urgency increased. They had to get Lee and quick, before he ended up on the wrong side of the Berlin Wall.

They hurried back to the Agency to fill Billy in on what they had learned and to prepare for their stake out this evening. The two Agents strode into the Georgetown foyer and gave Mrs. Marston the correct password. They headed for the elevator, only to be stopped by the receptionist/watch guard. "Oh, ladies, I was told to have you proceed to the Q Bureau when you arrived."

The pair exchanged cautious looks. Francine, more than a bit protective of her partner's emotional balance, questioned, "By whom? Who wants us in the Q Bureau?"

"Mr. Melrose."

They breathed a sigh of relief, but it was premature.

"He went up there with Dr. Smyth about twenty minutes ago." Her tone was almost apologetic. Amanda had been very kind to her over the years despite the fact that she would never give the password on the occasions that Amanda had forgotten it. And that had been quite often at first. She had missed the woman in her emotional absence. The buzz was that something big was in the works and Mrs. Marston hoped against hope that it might bring the old Amanda back to light.

Amanda nodded then took a deep breath. She laid her hand on the banister and took the first step. She hesitated and Francine began, "I could go up without you, tell Smyth that I came in alone?"

Above them a door slammed and a puff of smoke preceded the thin man who produced it. He rounded the corner and beckoned them with his crooked finger. "You could, Ms. Desmond, but why lie? Do you forget that I have eyes everywhere? Please join us, Ms. Desmond, Mrs. King." He pivoted and disappeared into the hall that led to the Q Bureau.

Amanda shrugged and resolutely marched up the steps. She really disliked Smyth and she really wasn't sure she could actually go into the office she had shared with Lee. But as much as she disliked Smyth, she disliked letting Smyth see her weak even more. So she swallowed the uncertainty and walked into what had once been their haven.

She was immediately bombarded by memories. Their desks remained side by side just as Lee had arranged them when he surprised her with her own space several years ago. She could almost see him sitting there glaring at the computer that was always confounding him. His laughter echoed in her mind as she recalled the chases around the desks, if you could call it a chase when she really didn't want to get away.

She looked at her desk and saw on its surface, a small blue box with a white satin bow. She saw Lee perched on the edge and recalled him sliding the ring, now nestled under her shirt, onto her finger.

It all seemed so real and even oddly comforting. She had thought it would be too painful to enter into this, their private domain. Instead, she found it eased the ache in her heart. It relieved the total lack of everything that had been the special bond she shared with Lee.

She inhaled sharply and reached out to caress the arm of the couch snuggled against the wall. She felt the texture and recalled how it felt pressed against her back, as Lee pressed her into the cushions with his larger frame. She yearned to feel that again and that yearning strengthened her resolved to leave this office with Smyth's cooperation to search for Lee. She pulled herself out of the safe cocoon of memories and faced the other occupants of the room, more determined than ever to leave here with Smyth's full cooperation in the matter.

The looks on their faces said that they were waiting for some kind of reaction from her. Billy and Francine's countenances were pensive, worried for her well-being. Smyth appeared almost hopeful. He liked nothing better than to see an underling weakened. He was going to be disappointed. Unlike in the past, this interlude with Lee's memory had strengthened her.

Fifteen minutes later, they all left the office. Smyth had given permission to pursue the matter, with the warning that if it blew up in their faces, he would deny all knowledge of the situation and brand them all wild cards who had acted on their own. After all as he touted, 'We mustn't upset the powers that be.' And until proven guilty, Phillip Marsh was indeed, a power to be dealt with.

Amanda and Francine made plans for the drive to the cottage that night for the purpose of "observation", parting after agreeing on a time and a place. Amanda drove home, preparing mentally for the coming encounter with her family. She knew her mother would settle for nothing less than the truth about tonight's journey and thankfully, now she was able to give it. She also intended to speak to the boys about her behavior the past few weeks. She had a lot of fences to mend and she intended to start this afternoon.

TBC

Amanda stood in front of her kitchen counter and pulled together the ingredients for tonight's meal of hamburgers and fries. The boys loved them and they were easy to fix and clear up afterward. She was hoping for a quick meal that left them plenty of time for the discussion she knew they had to have.

They would be home soon and she realized as she waited how much she had missed this, her home, her family and all that came with them. She had missed cooking dinner and listening to Phillip and Jamie tell her about their day. She had missed hearing about her mother's gardening club and her latest flying lesson with Captain Curt. She missed clearing up the dishes while her boys did their homework upstairs.

She missed tea with her mother at bedtime and she missed the inevitable tap tap tap on her window after she was alone and the house was quiet. Lee had continued to visit her late at night, when the house was asleep despite being a normal, expected visitor in the home. Amanda had thought it sweet and romantic and the sound of his fingertip on the windowpane always made her smile. It was that missing tap tap tap that had kept her working late into the night, away from her home and family.

Now she stared out the window over the sink, daring to believe that soon she would not only hear the tap but see the tapper as well. If only tonight turned out as she hoped, then soon...soon they could be the family they had longed to be.

But first she had to overcome the initial hurdle...make her boys understand why they had been lied to for so long and to make them see that it was for their own good. She hadn't had much practice in this particular type of conversation or any other in quite some time. She heard their rapid steps and energetic voices approaching and put a rusty smile on her face as she turned to wait for them. Their steps slowed and their voices dropped to whispers. Puzzled, Amanda stood nearer to the door to hear their conversation.

"Jamie, that's Mom's Jeep."

"Huh?"

"There, by the drive, that's Moms Jeep!" Phillip shoved the other boy around to look in the right direction.

"Quit Phillip! Oh boy, that is Mom's. She's never home this early. Let's go see..." Jamie began to move forward again, eager to get inside.

"Wait, Jamie, what if...?" Phillip was suddenly overcome with a sense of uncertainty about this situation.

"What, mud brain?" Jamie looked at his brother as if he had lost his mind.

"What if she's home because she had another accident? What if she's hurt, like last time?" The two boys stared at each other as they recalled how their mother had looked after her last run-in with the stairs at work.

Bruises had covered her arms and legs and she hadn't been able to walk or talk very good for about a week. Grandma had said that she had bruised ribs and sore muscles. Mom had just said not to worry and not much else, as usual.

Jamie thought this over and nodded. "You may be right, but the only thing we can do is go inside and see. If she's hurt, she may need us to help her. If not, I sure want to see her as much as possible!"

"You're right, let's go."

Just inside the door, Amanda swallowed the sudden lump in her throat and silently apologized to the boys for the fear and worry they had been through. She moved swiftly back to the counter and turned the burner on under the burgers and switched on the oven to bake the fries. She turned with a bright smile on her face and greeted her sons as they, with more than a little trepidation, entered through the back door.

"Hi fellas, did you have a good day?"

"Mom! You're okay?" Phillip blurted his worries out in one rushed breath.

"Oh guys, sure, I'm okay. I just took some time off this afternoon to be with you."

"Cool!" Jamie laid down his books and wrapped his arms around her waist. Expecting a quick squeeze and then to be released, he was surprised when she wrapped her arms around his back and laid her head on top of his. "I love you, Mom."

"I love you, too. Both of you, very much." She stretched her hand to include Phillip in the embrace and ruffled his hair. "Now you go get washed up for dinner because it's gonna be ready soon, burgers and fries."

"All right, Mom." Both boys rushed up the stairs, more eager than ever to return to this unexpected treat.

Amanda watched their retreating backs and smiled. She really had missed them. The sound of the front door opening and her Mother calling out to her friend, Marie, "Thanks for the ride, Marie. I'll see you tomorrow." roused her from her musings.

Dotty hurried into the kitchen muttering about long lines at the grocery store. She dropped her bags on the counter and began to strip off her jacket without ever once looking up. She sighed once then began to call out, "Boys, come on down and help me get the table set for dinner. I'll have something whipped up in a jiffy."

"Mother, it's already done. Just sit down and catch your breath."

"Oh thank you, Amanda, I believe I will...Amanda! Why, I mean, how, oh dear...are you hurt? Is something wrong?" She rushed to her daughter and ran her hands over her arms as if testing for broken bones or bruises.

"Motheeeer...I'm fine, really. I just took the afternoon off and decided to go ahead and cook dinner a little early." She shrugged and spread her hands in explanation. "That's all."

"Amanda, does this have something to do with Lee?" The question was whispered and more than a bit hopeful.

"Mother, not now. I just want to have nice meal with my family, then we'll talk, okay?"

"All right, whatever you say, dear." Dotty studied her for several minutes then seemed satisfied with what she saw. "It's going to be okay, Amanda. I just know it is." She patted her face affectionately then went upstairs to tidy herself for dinner.

Forty-five minutes and one platter of burgers later, Amanda sat back and looked at her family. What she saw looking back at her were three expectant faces, with questions ready to fire. "All right, guys. I know you're curious and I guess now is as good a time as any to start this family meeting."

Phillip and Jamie began to speak over each other, demanding to know what was going on and what she needed to tell them. Dotty hushed them and voiced the first coherent question.

"Okay, dear. What is it that you want to talk about, exactly?" Dotty spoke, then literally held her breath waiting on the answer, praying for the right one to be heard.

"I need to tell you a bunch of different things, but for now, I just want to talk about Lee." She drew in a deep breath and waited for the reactions to start. She didn't have to wait long.

Both boys immediately closed off, it was written all over their faces and bodies. They slouched in their chairs and Jamie hung his head low over his chest while Phillip crossed his arms in the near belligerent posture she knew so well.

Jamie just nodded his head sullenly and refused to meet anyone's eyes but Phillip's.

Phillip looked at his brother and briefly made eye contact. In the way that only siblings could, they exchanged a world of emotions and thoughts in that one look and silently agreed to continue dealing with this as they had for weeks now, the only way they had been able.

Their worlds had been altered just as dramatically as had hers and she had not done her part to help them rebalance it. Therefore they had done what they could, alone. They had unknowingly and unerringly mimicked her behavior. They had shut themselves off from their grief and done their best to forget Lee and his impact on their lives. At first they discussed him, alone at night in their room and how strangely their Mom was reacting to the news.

She normally cried over dead plants and she hadn't even shed one tear over Lee, at least not that they had seen. Of course, they had barely seen her for weeks now, so how were they to know what she had or hadn't done. Eventually they quit even speaking his name and just kept their memories to themselves.

"Mom, why? Why do we have to do this now? You're almost normal tonight and we miss you and if we do this now you're going to go weird again." Phillip demanded in his usual forthright way.

Jamie remained silent but his subtly straightened posture indicated that he was listening intently for her response.

Amanda observed their behavior and realized that she had no one to blame but herself. She hadn't been here for them when they'd learned of Lee's death. She had told them the bogus story of the car wreck and that there was not to be a memorial service, just a private viewing with his uncle and that she didn't think they should be there. Then she had promptly disappeared into her own little sheltered world and had not even tried to understand that she was needed and that she needed to help them understand.

Now, weeks later, she knew that her next words would determine if she could regain the confidence and trust she had always been privileged to have from her boys. She thought carefully about how to broach the sensitive subject. For now she had to push her own feelings and needs aside and help them to work through their remaining grief and anger so that they could accept the idea that Lee might still be alive and that she had to try to bring him back into their lives and this time into their home, forever.

"Well, first of all Phillip, let me say that I'm so very sorry for the way I've been the last few weeks. I know I haven't been what you needed me to be and I can never tell you how sorry I am about that. You needed me here and I just wasn't able to be here with you guys."

"Why mom, why couldn't you be here with us? I always thought that when you were sad that you needed to be around the ones who love you, like us and Grandma." Jamie spoke for the first time and asked the most difficult question of all, the one that Amanda had been dreading.

"Oh sweetheart, I'm not sure I can answer that completely," Amanda saw her boys swallow hard at the thought of more of the half truths they thought they had been given for weeks now, "but I am certainly going to try." She reached across the table and clasped their hands in her own. "You all know that Lee and I were very close before he...before his accident. He was visiting us a lot here at the house and you were even spending time alone with him while I worked, right?"

"Yeah, sure, he was your boyfriend after all. He was cool, we didn't mind. Well, I didn't mind." Phillip gave a pointed look at his brother.

"I didn't mind either, not at the end. I liked Lee, too. Really, Mom." Jamie's tone was pleading and perhaps even tinged with remorse that he had given Lee such a hard time in the beginning.

"Oh, baby, I know that you did. He was crazy about you two, as well. Anyway, what I'm trying to say is that we were in love, Lee and I, and when you're in love and you lose the person that you're in love with, sometimes you just can't see that there are other people around you who are hurting as badly as you are. Or if you can see it, and I could tell that you guys were very upset, don't ever think I didn't see that and know that you missed him, well; even then, I just hurt too much to be able to focus on you. I had so much pain of my own to deal with, that I just couldn't absorb any more pain. So I ran away. I ran away and I hid from the ones who needed me the most and whom I needed the most. I was just too blinded by my own grief to see it."

She felt the tears running down her face at the remembrance of the agony and aching loneliness she had felt then and still did now. She reached to brush them away, not wanting to disturb the boys. After all, she had to believe that the time for tears and grief was almost over.

Her boys, torn between fear in the face of her sorrow and the need to hear more of what she was saying, jumped up to comfort her, hugging her on both sides, and patting her back and hair.

She wrapped her arms around their waists and held on tightly for a few minutes. Finally, she pulled away and asked them to sit again. When they had done so, she started to go on, but was unsure of how to proceed. Once more, Jamie provided the out that she needed at that moment.

"Mom, we're glad that you felt that you could talk to us about this, but why now? I mean, it's been a while since Lee died." He darted a quick look at her face. The last time he had said those words to her she had jumped up and ran from the house, not answering his question and not returning for hours. He had never done so again for fear that he would get the same reaction. "So why do we have to talk about this now, just when you're feeling better? I mean, we really want our lives back and our Mom back, all the time."

Amanda nodded to acknowledge his concern and knew that this was the moment of truth. She glanced at her Mother, who had been silent up until now; unsure of how much Amanda was going to tell the boys. Amanda nodded again, in her direction, to indicate that she was going to tell them everything.

"I want that too, guys, and I think we can have it and more, if you can just listen for a little longer and try to understand what I have to say to you. Maybe I'm being selfish for wanting to hear you say that you understand or maybe I just need to know one way or the other. If you can't understand, then I may have to make some pretty big lifestyle changes."

Puzzled and intrigued, they nodded slowly and sat back in their chairs with their hands quietly lying on the table before them. Dotty stood behind them and laid a hand on each boy's shoulder. She smiled over their heads, radiating all her love and encouragement to her daughter.

"Lee and I didn't work for a film company. That is, IFF isn't really a film company. It's a front for a secret government agency. An intelligence agency." She could see that they didn't fully comprehend what she was saying so she decided to put it a little more bluntly. "Lee was a spy and he recruited me about five years ago and I've been working with him ever since."

"Whoa, my mom is a spy!" Phillip let out his reaction on an excited breath.

Jamie said nothing, preferring to wait for the other shoe to drop as he sensed it was going to. He was right.

"There was no car wreck. Lee was in a fire, an explosion at a warehouse; it was part of a case that we were working on at that time." Both young men hung their heads, saddened at hearing the details of how their friend had died. "The clean up team was never able to positively identify his body but he wasn't found anywhere else and was considered to be dead. Until now..."

Two light brown heads shot up and pinned her down with sharp stares. Their mouths started to work as a dozen questions popped into their minds. She held them off with her raised hands and continued to explain.

"I've had a tip, from an informant that Lee might not be dead, but instead has been held captive all this time..." she paused then went for broke, "and I'm going to try to find him and bring him back."

"Can you do that? I mean do you know how?" Phillip rapid fired the questions at her. "Can you fight and shoot and interrogate people?"

"Now boys, you stop interrogating your mother!" Dotty admonished, despite being quite curious about the answers herself.

"No Mother, it's okay. They need to know that I can take care of myself and I can. Yes, Phillip, I can shoot and interrogate and hold my own in hand to hand. And I had a very good teacher in interrogation and the finer points of the intelligence business."

Jamie voiced the question that had been bothering him since this particular line of conversation had been started. "Mom, if you're so good at taking care of yourself, why are you getting hurt so much? I'm betting that it isn't really all the accidents you are claiming to have."

Amanda grinned ruefully at her ever-inquisitive son. "Well, Jamie, I guess you can say that for a while I forgot that I needed to take care of myself. I've been so lonely for Lee and that I probably have been more daring and reckless than I should have been. At least that is what the Agency shrink would say. But no more. I've remembered what I have to live for and I'm going to do just that!" She stood and walked around to her boys and her mother and hugged them all.

"Mom?"

"Yes, Phillip?"

"What if it isn't Lee? Will you...well, will you go back to the way you've been?"

"No way. I need and love you guys just as much as I need and love Lee, just in a different way."

Satisfied with their answers, they sat down to the rest of standard 'need to know' lecture and agreed to abide by the rules at all times. They asked a few more questions, some were hard, like why had they not been told earlier. And others were easy, like what was her title and did she have a badge, and soon they were off to bed, not to sleep, Amanda suspected, but to rehash the nights happenings over and over again.

When they were alone, Amanda hugged her mother once again. "Thank you, Mother."

"For what? For once I didn't say anything!"

"No, your look said it all. Thank you for understanding and accepting my choices. It isn't easy for you, I know. The boys needed you and you were here when I couldn't be and that will never be forgotten, by any of us."

"In that case, I want to ask a favor..." Dotty appeared apprehensive suddenly.

"Anything."

"Tonight, when you go to wherever it is that you are going, is there any danger?"

"Not particularly. We're just going to look tonight. To try to get a feel for the place where he might be." She read the unspoken concern in her mother's eyes and answered it. "And yes, I will be very careful. I'm coming back to my home and my wonderful family, no matter what does or doesn't happen, I promise."

TBC

William Melrose sat in his office and stared at the file in front of him. It was quite large and had several sections to it. It was labeled Stetson, Lee: codename Scarecrow. The latest addition was the final note concerning his status, non-active: deceased. The balding, black man recalled the grief he had felt when he had been forced to enter the last notation. It was one of the hardest things he had ever had to do. For eight long weeks the file has sat on his desk, waiting to be sent to records for permanent storage in the old personnel files. He hadn't been able to bring himself to send it down and now he was sure he knew why he hadn't been able to let Lee go.

Something inside of him just hadn't been able to accept the death of one of his best Agents and his best friend for over ten years. He supposed you could call it instinct or just obstinacy, either way he hadn't let the file go and now he was praying that soon he could reverse that last addition and put the heavy brown folder back where it belonged, in the active duty section.

He checked his watch again and looked to the bullpen. Francine Desmond was approaching his door. Right on time, as usual. He caught her eyes and motioned her into the office.

Entering swiftly, the blond approached the desk and stated, "I'm going to meet Amanda now. You wanted to see me before we left?"

"Sit down, Francine. I want to tell you something."

"Okay..." Her tone was wary and she sat gingerly on the edge of the seat in front of his desk. Billy had an odd, pensive look on his face and she was unsure what that might mean for tonight's task. She suddenly feared that he was going to reverse his decision that they be allowed to go through with this tonight. She tensed, as his first words seemed to support that fear.

"Officially, Smyth says this is still a hands off situation until we have more, harder evidence against Marsh." He paused as Francine nodded her understanding.

"And, officially, as section chief, I agree with him. Marsh is not a man we want to get stirred up unless we know we can put him away..." He sighed heavily and stood to close the blinds and ensure that the door was secured. Crossing back to the desk, he sat on its edge in front of Francine. His look and tone became fierce as he spoke his next words. "But as Lee and Amanda's friend, I'm saying, if you see Lee and if you can get him out, get him out tonight. If he's there, we won't need more evidence. You call for back-up and then get him out of there!"

Francine heaved a huge sigh of relief and relaxed her shoulders. "Thank God. I didn't want to have to go against you and Smyth! But I would if I were to see Lee in that cottage. I've no intention of leaving that estate tonight without Scarecrow if there is any possible way to get him out."

Billy grinned largely. "You're that sure that it's him?"

"T.P. has never been wrong, not for Lee and not for Amanda. He may not have my unerring judge of character," she grimaced as she recalled how he refused to speak to her alone and was even reluctant to speak freely with Amanda in her presence, "but he's usually right about the things that matter."

"Francine, surely you're not offended by his behavior. He's one of the best sources we have. Besides, I think you frighten him. He's a simple man deep down and well; you're not a simple woman."

The statuesque blond smiled and fluttered her perfectly manicured nails at her boss as she walked toward the door. "No, the true beauties are very complex indeed."

"Be careful and watch Amanda. Don't let her go too far. That is why I told you this, not her. She's going to be more likely to risk it all to get him back anyway. If it's not Lee or you can't get to him safely...well, I don't need three dead agents instead of just one." His so recently cheerful behavior disappeared instantly as he uttered his last warning. His face was grave and his eyes told how deeply he truly felt about all his agents and this group in particular.

Francine's eyebrows arched as she considered his words and nodded her understanding. She left the office and headed for the elevator and her rendezvous with her partner.

'Not very good odds from anyway you look at it, but in this business, it rarely gets any better.' Billy thought to himself as he watched her briskly leave the bullpen.

Across town, Amanda kissed her boys goodnight and told them not to worry. She hugged her mother and made her way to the drive and her Jeep parked there. She glanced back at her home and renewed her earlier promise to her herself. She would be coming back home to them in one piece and hopefully not alone. She climbed into her seat and backed into the street to meet Francine at the park near the Agency.

Twenty minutes later she pulled into the space next to her partner and asked through the open window, "You ready?"

"Yep, let's go." Francine left her vehicle and joined Amanda in the Jeep.

As they drove they talked of many things, the Agency, politics, Francine even asked about the boys and her mother. It seemed they were struggling to talk of anything except what was in the foremost part of their minds, Lee and tonight's activities. Finally, when they had exhausted all topics of inconsequential conversation, Amanda broached the subject bluntly.

"Francine, if I see Lee tonight, if I think I can get him out, I'm not leaving without him." She spoke firmly, with conviction.

"Of course, we're not." The response was placid and immediate.

"I mean it, Francine. I don't care what Smyth says. I let Lee down once and I'm not going to do it again. If I can bring him home tonight, I'm going in there and I'm getting him. Now, I don't expect you to understand or...what do you mean, of course we're not?" She had finally realized that Francine was not resisting her.

"I mean, of course we aren't. I spoke to Billy before we met. We have his blessing, so to speak."

"You mean Smyth changed his mind? He agrees that we can grab Lee without any further evidence?" Incredulity tinged her speech.

"Uh uh, no way. Officially, Smyth still says 'hands off' until we have more proof. But Billy said if we can do it, do it and bring him home. He'll deal with Smyth later."

For some time, each woman was silent as they watched the trees and traffic whiz by. Finally Amanda broke the stillness.

"Francine?"

"What?"

"Why didn't he just tell me?"

"Oh well, you know...I was there and you weren't. I'm sure if he had seen you..."

By now, Amanda easily recognized Francine's stalling and shook her head. "And you are supposed to make me be careful. You're supposed to watch me and make sure I don't do anything too rash, right?"

"Yes, but he meant well, you have been not so cautious lately and well, he was worried and so was I..." The words rushed out, guiltily.

"Francine, Francine," Amanda interrupted the flow of explanation. "I know, really. I understand. I have been less than careful recently and I want to apologize. I've caused you to worry; I've caused everyone to worry. I'm trying to change that. I think I just needed to prove to me and maybe even to Lee that I could do this as well as he taught me to."

Hesitant and unsure of how far Amanda was willing to go with this line of conversation, but sensing that it needed to be pursued, Francine asked, "Is that the only reason you acted like that? I mean, sometimes, Amanda, it almost seemed like you were daring someone to take a shot at you...like you wanted to catch a bullet or..."

"Die? Like I wanted to die?"

A silent nod was her answer.

Amanda pulled over the Jeep and looked steadily at her partner. Francine had stood by her when most other agents would have written her off as a wild card and refused to be partnered with her. She owed Francine the truth, just as much as she owed it to herself.

"Yeah, I think that is exactly what I wanted. I think sometimes, most of the time I just wanted to die. I let my partner down, Francine. He needed me and I couldn't do what he had spent years teaching me to do. Lee was my teacher, my partner, my hero. He was my best friend and I let him down. In my subconscious, I believed I didn't deserve to live. And I didn't want to live without him."

"Amanda, I want to understand, but other people have lost partners. You have to go on and keep living. Lee wouldn't have wanted you to just shut down like that." Francine impulsively grasped Amanda's hand in her own. Just as impulsively she took it back, mindful of how poorly Amanda handled familiarity recently.

Amanda caught her before she withdrew completely. She squeezed the hand offered and smiled sadly. "I know. I know that people lose partners and friends and lovers and teachers...and husbands. But how many people lose them all in one fell swoop?"

"Amanda, I knew you were close. I even knew you were dating and probably sleeping together and I know that does make it harder...did you say husband?"

Before Amanda could respond, a large moving van rushed by, rocking the Jeep in the wake of its passing.

"What on earth is that?" Francine gasped.

"A moving van. And it's pulling into the back entrance of the Marsh cottage! Come on, Francine, let's go see what's going on."

The two women pulled the Jeep closer to the drive and pulled off the road again, under the overhang of some large trees. They closed the doors quietly and crept up to the gate of the fence surrounding the cottage. The overhead security light flickered and illuminated the scene just enough to see the immediate surroundings.

Cottage was a modest description for the dwelling that stood on the smooth green lawn, bordered by graceful dogwood trees and manicured flowerbeds. The two-story house was white with a wrap around porch and upper level veranda. The van had pulled up to the back entrance and two men were standing near the porch having a very loud discussion.

By silent agreement, the two agents belly crawled along the fence until they reached an opening about eight feet from the gate, a walkthrough large enough for a wheelbarrow or lawnmower, for the gardener's convenience, no doubt. First Francine, then Amanda slid through the opening and edged behind the bushes until they reached the corner of the house closest to the talking men. Their loud conversation carried easily to the pair as they stopped to listen.

"Look, Bud, Mr. Marsh said we gotta clear out of here today! He sent me out here to load up the equipment and help you load our guest and get him out of here. He's got to be at the airport in two hours. He's got a date with some Germans, and not the friendly ones, either."

"I don't know, Dave, I mean, Mr. Marsh usually calls if there is a change in plans. That guy Rolf, he was supposed to come here and look at this clown. I don't like this." Bud carried a gun and glanced nervously over his shoulder at the house behind him. "I'm going to call, Mr. Marsh. Wait here."

"Look, you call'im if you want to. I'm going to get those boxes of tapes and drugs loaded. Mr. Marsh'll kill me if we lose any of them. He says this batch is worth more than all the others put together."

"Yeah, ok, just stay out of that back room. The big guy is getting a little weird. I think those drugs are wearing off quicker. He's been looking at me awful funny. I don't want him to get a chance to get away. That one could kill somebody."

A few minutes passed and the man who had driven the van moved in and out of the house bringing boxes and small pieces of equipment with him and loading them into the back of the van. Soon, the guard, Bud, talking into a cordless phone, walked back out onto the porch.

"Yeah, sure, yes sir, Mr. Marsh. We'll have him out of here in no time."

Dave yelled over his shoulder from the back of the van, "You satisfied now?"

"Yep, let's go load the last boxes then I'll go get our last, most important load. You be sure to watch for me to bring him out. I may need you to help me tie him up. That way he can't get the drop on us. I tell you, he's fighting those drugs."

The two men went back inside and could be heard in the front room, moving about and laughing between themselves about the ways they were going to spend their bonus money when this was all over.

"Francine, this is it. We've got to go in there and get him out now. They're going to take him to the airport and we may not find him again." Amanda was pulling her 9-millimeter semi-automatic from its holster and checking the clip and the extra magazine for ammunition. Satisfied with it, she turned her attention to her ankle holster and made sure she could access the baby Glock she carried there as well as the small can of pepper spray Leatherneck had equipped her with that morning.

Finished with her weapons check, she turned to Francine to see her doing much the same thing, only her back-up weapon of choice this evening was one of Leatherneck's prized tazer guns, holstered alongside her own midsize model 19, 9-millimeter semi-automatic.

Francine raised one sculpted eyebrow and noted, "Well, I guess we are both well prepared!"

Amanda nodded grimly, "Apparently, great minds think alike." She had started to leave the shelter of the house wall when she was detained by Francine's hand on her arm.

"Wait, Amanda, I have to call Billy! I promised we wouldn't go in without backup."

"We don't have time to wait, Francine. It's getting later by the minute. They're going to move him anytime now. If we leave now, we may not make it back in time to stop them. Lee's going to end up in Germany!"

"Yeah, ok, you're right. Listen here's the plan. I'll go call Billy for back up. If it looks like I won't make it back in time, then go ahead and try to get inside and I'll catch up. I'll take the big one, Dave when he gets back into the van. When you get inside, take down the nervous one, Bud when he comes in to get Lee." They had started to move apart, Amanda with gun drawn and ready and Francine stooped over to avoid drawing attention, when the blond stopped her partner with a hissed parting word "Oh, by the way, we will finish our discussion after this is over, the one about your husband?"

Amanda nodded and swallowed hard, suddenly apprehensive. "Francine, what if it isn't Lee? What if Dougan just said what I wanted to hear to try and make a deal? I don't know if I can lose him again, like this..."

"Amanda, stop this. We have to just go in there and get our man, just like always, all right? Don't think about anything else. Just go in and get our man!"

"Right!"

TBC

Five minutes later, Francine returned and signaled Amanda that back-up was on the way. The brunette nodded and indicated that Francine should proceed with her part of their plan.

Amanda waited while Francine crept up behind the man who was loading the van. When he walked to the back of the cargo area, Francine flattened herself against the side panel and waited for him to emerge. When he did, she swiftly raked one leg under his and brought him to his knees. A hard chop to his neck stunned him and the butt of her gun rendered him unconscious. He fell forward into the dirt with a thud and Francine quickly pulled him back into the shadow of the van, where he was not visible to anyone from the cottage.

Upon seeing Francine's quick dispatch of the first man, Amanda began her approach on the cottage door and it's unsuspecting guard. She slipped silently onto the porch and through the partially opened front door. She glanced back at her partner, now behind her acting as lookout should anyone else appear on the scene, gave her the thumbs up and proceeded into the darkened front room.

The cottage appeared to be largely unused. This front room had obviously once been a parlor of sorts, with old-fashioned horsehair sofas and wingback chairs grouped around the cold stone fireplace. Amanda saw no evidence of regular use or of the guard. She crossed the space and approached the next door.

She pushed it open slowly and saw a much used, little cared for kitchen/dining room. The stove was crusted with cooked food and the adjoining countertop was littered with dirty dishes and opened food containers. The small dinette table surrounded by four chairs was equally piled with take-out boxes and paper plates and disposable utensils. Amanda curled her nose in disgust.

She heard a shuffle from the room next door and hurriedly moved toward it to brace herself against the doorframe. When no other noises were heard, she took a deep breath and pushed the door open. She peered into the room and saw no one. Curious but cautious about the noise she heard, she entered the room slowly, gun raised and every instinct on the alert.

One step, then two into the small bedroom revealed a twin bed frame with sparse covers, a single bedside table and one small pad locked cabinet. On the dusty surface of the cabinet, several empty vials and one large, very full syringe were lying. A low groan from the far corner revealed the guard lying on the floor holding his head, blood trickled through his fingers and he lost consciousness as she watched. But where was the prisoner who must have brought him down? Turning to leave the seemingly deserted room, Amanda was suddenly grabbed from behind. A hard chop to her wrist forced her to release her gun and it flew out of her hand and fell to the floor with a loud clatter.

A large hand clamped over her mouth while another gripped her around the waist and flung her to the floor. She felt a knee press into her back and pin her to the rough area carpeting. She began to buck and twist and soon had her assailant unbalanced enough to flip over. She scrambled to straddle his legs with her body and reached for her lost weapon a few feet across the floor. Out of the corner of her eye, she caught the rising motion of his hand and blocked it with her own before grabbing his hands and pinning them to the floor above his head. His strength was obviously flagging for she had no trouble holding him in place. For the first time she looked him full in the face and locked eyes with the man below her.

Instantly and for a few brief moments, she was transported back in time and found herself being jostled in the busy train station, felt her arm being grasped and as she was looking into the most amazingly expressive pair of hazel eyes she had ever come across, she heard his low, slightly breathless voice begging her to help him.

Amanda felt her heart rate rise in tandem with the pulse in the wrists she held tightly beneath her hands and heard him grunt as he continued to struggle for his freedom. She shook her hair out of her face and watched recognition dawn as his adrenaline-fogged mind processed what it was seeing.

"Amanda?"

"Lee..." She released his hands and eased herself further back on his legs. She ran one finger down the beard-roughened face she knew so well. Mesmerized by the hazel eyes staring up at her, she had no words to tell him what was going on in her mind but it didn't seem necessary.

Time seemed to stand still and their environment disappeared into a haze of love and longing as they soaked up the sight of each other. Lee struggled to an upright position, his breath harsh as he forced it in and out of his lungs. They sat face to face and hesitantly reached out to touch what each feared had been lost. His weak, shaking hands brushed over her hair and soon lost themselves in the auburn curls. Her hands, stronger but just as shaky, rested over his chest and felt the erratic beating of his heart.

Lee abruptly closed his eyes and pulled her against his body, tightly. "Are you real? Is it really you?" His voice was raspy and strained.

Amanda pulled back and laid her hands against his face, forcing him to look at her and hear what she said. "Yes, Lee. I'm here. I'm real and I'm here and I love you so much."

"Amanda, oh God, Amanda..." He leaned into her grasp and buried his face in the hollow of her neck.

His beard was rough and scratchy and his lips were dry and cracked but it all felt like heaven, pressed against the side of her neck.

After sparing a glance at the still unconscious guard, she circled his shoulders with her arms and returned his kiss with all the passion and love she had kept suppressed for eight long weeks now. Her fingers delved into his hair and held his head firmly in place. The warmth of the feelings flooded her being with renewed life and she felt as if the long lost other half of her soul had been found. Tears began to run down her cheeks and soaked into his parched lips.

She tasted their saltiness and heard his hiss of pain as the salty tears irritated his chapped flesh. She moaned softly, "I'm so sorry, that hurts, doesn't it?" She broke away from him to brush them away.

"No, it's okay...it's the best pain I've felt in weeks. I love you, Amanda Stetson. Kiss me again, please." He leaned forward and she complied, gently this time. Her tears were dried for now. She felt only joy and lightness in this single, perfect moment, locked in her man's arms.

A loud groan from the gaurd brought her attention back to the situation at hand. The man who lay heaped in a corner of the room was trying to rouse himself to reach his gun that lay a few feet away.

"Amanda, we better get that guy tied up, I'm not sure I have enough strength to take him down again if he wakes up first." Lee stirred and attempted to get up off the floor.

Amanda drew herself off of his lap and got to her feet. She reached down and pulled him to a standing position. He wavered slightly then braced himself against the nearby wall. "I don't know what they were giving me, but it was potent and doesn't wear off quickly."

"Lee, be still and let me take care of..."

Momentarily distracted by encouraging Lee to stay put, Amanda didn't see the guard attempting to rise and reach for his gun until he was on his knees and had the gun at the tips of his fingers. Lee called out a warning and stumbled in the direction of the man. Amanda whirled on her feet and kicked the gun from the man's reach. She drew her baby Glock from her ankle holster and delivered a sharp rap to the back of his head. He fell and Amanda trained her gun on him briefly until she was sure he wasn't getting back up.

Lee leaned against the wall and watched as Amanda dealt with the man on the ground before her. She fastened the cuffs and flipped him onto his stomach with her foot. She spared him barely a glance then went to Lee and gently led him through the cottage to the door. There they met Francine and Billy and a whole team of agents, all of whom stopped and stared at the pair before them.

"Lee, I'm glad to see you, man." Billy offered simply and gripped his hand to shake it firmly. Soon the shake became a hug as the older man hauled Lee into his arms and held him tight. He pushed him away just as suddenly and rushed away careful not to show the others how much he was affected by this reunion.

"Yeah, me too." Lee croaked out, too late for his friend to hear. His voice and his strength were rapidly failing him and he shook from the exertion to stay on his feet.

Amanda, suddenly focusing on his overall condition, not just the fact that he was alive, realized that he was on the brink of collapse and began to call for help just as Lee crumpled at her feet.

A team of NEST doctors and nurses, called out by Billy when he had received the call from Francine, rushed to envelope him in a crowd of medical attention, pushing Amanda to the side. He was loaded into a waiting ambulance and would have been taken away from her, had she not reinserted herself into the fray by elbowing the last nurse aside and taking her place by Lee's stretcher.

"Hey, you can't go in there..." The nurse began to object.

"There is no way I'm not going, so I'd suggest you just save your breath or see to the prisoners. I want them alive to pay for what they've done to him."

The door slammed and the lights and sirens began to swirl and scream as the ambulance rushed to the nearest trauma unit.

Inside the swaying unit, Amanda held tight to his hand and whispered to him. Inconsequential things, like how the weather had been and what the boys were doing in school, but they seemed to pierce the fog that had overtaken him. He gripped her hand tighter and the attendant said that his vitals were strong and stable and that he was going to be fine, in time.

"Did you hear that, Lee? You're going to be fine. You're going to rest and sleep off whatever they gave you and then, we're going home to the family. Our home, our family. I swear..."

The ambulance wheeled up to the ER entrance at Galilee General and the lights and sirens died. He was rushed into the examining room where even Amanda's dire threats wouldn't gain her entrance. She was left to the bare, sterile waiting room and her own devices. She crossed to the pay phone in the corner, picked it up and dialed a familiar number. It was early, very early, nearly three AM, but she knew they were awake.

"Amanda? Is that you? Are you ok?"

"Yes Mother, we're all ok...I should be home by tonight."

"Lee? Oh Amanda, tell me this means you found Lee..."

"He's...fine...he's going to be fine."

"Amanda, bring him home."

TBC

Amanda sat in the hard plastic chair in the waiting room of Galilee General Trauma Center for nearly three hours before she saw the first friendly face. A young NEST doctor by the name of Tim Collins approached her from behind, warily. He cleared his throat and called, "Mrs. King?" He'd learned, over the last couple of years of working with Federal agents that it didn't pay to surprise one, especially one that had been in the field recently.

The slim brunette leapt to her feet and whirled to face him. "How is he?" She circled the young man and tried to enter the door leading to the patient care area without waiting for an answer. "Can I see him now?"

"Wait, Mrs. King, please, sit down for just a minute. I need to talk to you." Dr. Collins stood before her and held up his hands to detain her. "He's better. He's stable. He had a rough patch, but that seems to be over. He's asking for you..."

"Well, then why am I here? Where is he? Let me go to him!" Amanda paced in frustration.

"I will. He's being transferred to a room right now. I'll take you to him myself. But there are a few things you need to know first." The doctor grabbed her arms to keep her in place. He backed up quickly and apologetically when she shook his hands off with a warning glare.

She saw the look on his face and realized that she was behaving quite badly to the man who might have just saved her husband's life. She sighed and sat in a nearby chair, indicating that she was ready to listen to what the man had to say. "I'm sorry, Dr...Collins?" She read the nametag he wore on his left breast pocket. "I'm very sorry. I just really need to see my partner."

"I know and if I don't bring you to him soon, I think that we may just have to sedate him ourselves. And he has had way too much of that already."

"That sounds like him." Amanda couldn't prevent a rueful smile as she recalled how violently Lee detested hospitals.

"Anyway, that is part of what I want to talk to you about. I assume you will be caring for him when he leaves here? I mean, you did seem rather close and he is asking for you and no one else..." He trailed off, waiting to see if he had reached the right conclusion about this pair.

"Yes, I will. I'm his wi...I'm family, so to speak." She inwardly cursed the constrictions they still faced in their relationship, but comforted herself with the fact that it wouldn't be this way much longer.

"Okay then, just a few details before we go up to his room. He's going to need lots of rest, obviously. As well as fluids and light meals until his system rebalances itself. He's not particularly malnourished. It seems he ate regularly at first, and then he realized that the drugs were in his food as well and he quit eating and rarely drank anything that wasn't in a sealed container. He is very dehydrated due to that and to the overall effect of the sedatives he was given." The doctor leaned over and patted her knee awkwardly when she closed her eyes against the image he was projecting. "Long story short, he's going to be okay, as long as he rests, eats and drinks regularly and reports any unusual symptoms to me or one of the other doctors."

"Unusual symptoms?" Amanda's quick mind had immediately picked up on the implications of that phrase.

"There could be some side effects of the drugs as they are cleared from his blood stream. More precisely, there could be effects from the lack of the drugs in his blood stream. Some of the chemicals we've identified so far can be addictive. That's probably how they used them to keep some of their victims docile. They actually started to crave the effects of the drugs that were keeping them captive."

Amanda absorbed the impact of this information and slowly asked, "So...do you think that's possible with Lee? That he may be addicted to the drugs all ready?"

"No, not really. I think that if he were going to show any symptoms, he would have done that in the last week or so, when his refusal of the food and drink cut the doses they were giving him. Apparently the men holding him didn't know to up the dose of the injections he received each day. According to your hus...err... partner he hasn't had any off those type symptoms, yet."

"Thank you, Dr. Collins, for everything."

"You're welcome. Now let's go find room 214, shall we?"

The room was cast in dark shadows and only the tiniest hint of light seeped in around the heavy curtains and blinds. The bed was covered in several blankets and Amanda sat as close to the bedside as she could get without actually being in the bed with Lee.

She held his hand and watched him breathe, in and out, deep, even respirations that were undisturbed by dreams or restlessness. The nurses had assured her that this utter stillness was normal, a remnant of the sedating drugs he had been given for weeks. Only once had he stirred and when he saw her there by his side he had returned immediately to slumber. His heartbeat was monitored by the monotonous beep, beep of the monitor over his head. His oxygen level was reflected in the red numbers glowing on the bedside monitor. Both stayed steady and comforted Amanda, reassuring her that he was resting and healing from his ordeal.

Amanda slept once or twice, her head resting against the mattress. Each time the nurses entered, she roused, waiting to hear that all was well. Each time it was and she rejoiced. She smiled at everyone she saw. At first it felt quite strange, the joy she felt in her entire body. She had felt cold and hollow for so long that this was almost like being reborn or falling in love all over again. Perhaps she had done one or even both.

At eight AM, Dr. Collins entered and greeted her. "Good morning. Have you slept at all? You can't take care of him if you are worn to a frazzle."

"I dozed some. How is he?" She waved away his concern for her and focused on Lee instead.

He referred to the chart at the bedside and seemed pleased with what he saw. "Well, his vital signs have been stable all night and I think we need to try to wake him up this morning and see how his mental condition is. After he has a few more liters of fluid, and shows us that he is clear headed, he can go home to rest, as long as he isn't alone of course."

"Okay, how do we wake him up?" She spread her hands in question.

"Well, normally at first. If that doesn't work, we have reversal agents that may work. But I would prefer not to put any more drugs in him."

Dr. Collins approached the bed and cleared his throat, "Uh hum, Mr. Stetson can you hear me?"

No response from the man in the bed.

"Lee, if you can hear me open your eyes." The doctor intoned, louder this time.

Lee squinted his eyes and tossed his head.

"Perhaps you should try, Mrs. King?"

"Okay..." She sat on the edge of the bed and leaned close to him. "Lee? Lee, can you hear me? It's Amanda. Come on, Lee, wake up." She brushed her hand over his forehead and he smiled a little. "Lee, wake up. I need to talk to you." She let her tone become more urgent.

He blinked rapidly and struggled to focus on the view before him. "It's dark, Amanda..." His voice was still raspy.

"Do you want the light on?" Amanda looked to the doctor.

He nodded and crossed the room to partially open the blinds.

Lee nodded, "That's better." He licked his dry lips and looked around. "Hospital?"

"Yes, Mr. Stetson. This is the hospital." The doctor was writing in the chart and nodding, obviously pleased with his patient.

"Amanda, you came to get me...how did you know?" He gripped her hand.

Amanda glanced at the doctor.

He finished his writing and said, "Um, yes, I guess that is my cue to go now. You rest and drink plenty of fluids, try to eat if you can. I'll see you later this evening and we'll talk about letting you go home, okay?"

"Thank you, doctor." Amanda watched him go but never left her husband's side.

As the door swung softly shut, she focused her attention on the man in the bed, smiling and caressing his hand. "Hi there."

"Amanda." Lee curled his fingers around hers and squeezed slightly. "I missed you."

"Oh, I missed you, too. More than you'll ever know." She leaned in and kissed his freshly shaven face. She inhaled the warm scent that was uniquely him and silently thanked God for their fortune.

"Amanda, are you going to answer me?" Lee requested more strongly. His curiosity had been running high since he woke and realized that he really was safe and with his wife.

"Well, we captured the Dougan brothers and West Dougan confessed. Then T.P. corroborated the information, we found the cottage and well you know the rest." She shrugged, indicating the 'simplicity' of the happenings.

"Somehow, I think it is a bit more complicated than that...but right now, I don't think I care." Lee tugged on her hand to pull her closer to him. "Come here. Lie with me..."

"Now Lee that's probably not a good idea with that IV." Amanda balked at his request, while glancing anxiously at the door.

"I don't care. I want to be as close to you as possible." Stubbornly, he continued to pull on her hand.

"Look, I'll sit right here on the edge, real close. Is that good enough?" Moving to the indicated patch of mattress, she sat on the blanket, pushing her leg against his and laying her hand on his chest.

Lee, sighing contentedly, nodded his head and closed his eyes. For a few minutes he was satisfied and remained silent.

Just when she thought he was sleeping, he opened his eyes again and asked abruptly, "Amanda, in the ride in the ambulance. I thought I heard you say that we were going to go home, to our home and our family?"

"I did."

"Well, I'm still a bit groggy about the first several weeks I was gone and the night I was taken, but I don't remember telling Dotty and the boys about us. I mean, I recall that we were going to, but I don't remember it actually happening?"

"Well, it didn't. But I meant what I said. When you leave here, I'm taking you home, to my house and our kids." Amanda stated this in her most matter of fact voice.

"Well, maybe for a few days until I feel stronger."

"NO. Not for a few days, forever..."

"But Amanda, this just proves that it isn't safe for me to be there. What if one of the boys had been with me?" Doggedly, he refused to let it go.

"Lee, the boys are with you all the time. At your apartment, at my house, lots of places. It just doesn't make that much difference anymore. You are a part of our lives, no matter where we are or what we're doing. The boys and mother already know about the Agency and our jobs. I had to tell them before Francine and I came after you. All we have to do is tell them about the wedding and quite frankly, I think Mother has already guessed. You are coming home with us and that's final! Besides, you don't have anywhere else to live right now."

"What?" Lee studied her.

"Your apartment lease was up and I didn't renew it. I thought..." Her voice faltered. She looked into his eyes as tears began to trickle down her face. "I thought you were dead." The tears began to fall in earnest and she leaned forward to bury her head against his chest.

His hands stroked over her hair, soothing her tears and quieting the sobs. "Shhh, it's okay now. I'm so sorry that you had to go through that."

Gasping, as if burnt by his apology, she jumped up and pulled out of his arms. She began to pace the room agitatedly, shaking her head as he spoke again.

"Amanda, come back. What's wrong?" Lee beseeched her to return to his side.

"No, Lee. Don't apologize to me! How can you apologize to ME? I...it's my fault...I let them take you. I didn't stop him from pulling you into that warehouse and then you were gone." She finally returned to his side only to drop to her knees as she begged him to understand. She braced her arms on the spread, clutching at it desperately. "I couldn't do what you'd spent so many years teaching me to do. I froze. I panicked and you paid the price. I can never forgive myself and I'll understand if you can't either."

Awkwardly, Lee grasped her arms and pulled her from the floor. He gave he a weak shake and demanded, "Stop it, right now! Amanda Stetson, for the smartest agent I've ever worked with, you are not the brightest woman right now. How can you blame yourself? He had a gun to my head and you were too far away for a clean shot! You might have hit me just as easily as Forrester. You did the right thing. You had no way of knowing that building was rigged to blow."

"But, if I had gone in instead of calling for help..."

"Then you would have died. Forrester was double crossed by Marsh. The explosion was never intended to kill me. Marsh was waiting and took me out another door after he bashed Forrester on the head and planted my wedding ring on his body." Lee finally released his hold when it appeared she was listening to reason. "Amanda, no one is to blame."

Slowly, his words penetrated her grief filled mind and she nodded her understanding. "Oh, Lee, I missed you so much. I was so lost without you. I wanted to die."

"I know, I know. But you didn't and I didn't and now we've got a second chance."

He pulled her into his lap and this time she didn't resist, just curled against his chest and listened to his breathing and his heart beat. She looked at their hands linked in her lap and watched as his fingers idly twisted her ring around and around.

Reaching for the chain under her blouse, she removed it and slipped his band off as he watched curiously. "Billy brought me this. The only proof that you were really dead. He knew about our wedding, did you know that?"

Lee shook his head negatively.

"Well, he knew and he brought this to me that day. I've not been without it since then. I think it needs to go back where it belongs now, how about you?"

Moving his head affirmatively this time, Lee watched as she replaced the band and made sure it was snuggly in place. "This time it stays on forever."

"Forever."

The End.